by Kari Alice
“Why are you saying this stuff? It’s as if what I do has an effect on you,” Lexi said. Her head wasn’t quite clear from the alcohol. Maybe honesty could disarm him?
Caleb unbuckled himself and turned to Lexi. She’d already unbuckled, preparing to go inside.
“I just don’t want you to do something that you’re not ready to do. I know this sounds parental, but you just seem so innocent, and I don’t want you to be taken advantage of,” Caleb said, once again sounding composed—and concerned.
His words had an edge to them, as if he knew what was best for her. “Caleb, you don’t know me. I’ve been through more than I even want to talk about.”
“I know you have…I know about your parents, Lexi…”
A chill prickled her spine. Of course he would find out about her—his brother knew her story. “I see.”
“Lexi, I can’t explain it. I just feel like I need to keep you safe. When you called tonight, I knew that you really needed me. And when I saw you being taken advantage of, I couldn’t help myself. I had to make sure you were okay.” He looked younger than his age. His brown eyes intensified as he tried to make her to understand.
“Where have you been all week? I mean, I saw you at work on Monday, and then you were nowhere to be found.”
“I was out…I had somethings to take care of,” Caleb said, expertly deflecting her question.
“What about Corrine?” Lexi asked with a defensive edge.
“I’m technically not with Corrine anymore, and how do you know about her anyway?”
Lexi smiled. Had he not caught on yet? “From your brother, Mike. And then I heard you talking to her on the phone before you changed my dressing on Monday,” Lexi admitted.
Caleb shifted, looking uncomfortable. “I dated Corrine for two years. It ended not long ago, and it was a bad breakup.”
Lexi crossed her arms in front of herself for warmth, despite the blaring heat from the vents. “What did you mean when you said it was a bad breakup?”
Caleb’s eyes looked pained. He sighed. “After I broke it off with her, she didn’t take it well. There were a lot of loose ends to tie up.” He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.
“When exactly did it end?” There was more to this, and she had to know what he was hiding.
“The first day I saw you and helped you at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles. I felt so drawn to you…I can’t explain it really. I never looked at Corrine like I did you. I knew if I stayed I’d be sacrificing what could be… If not with you, then just in general. How would that be fair to her or to me? I realize that it all sounds very selfish on my part.”
Lexi shifted and looked Caleb in his eyes. Words escaped her. If only she weren’t so muddle headed right now! She almost felt guilty. Lexi knew what he described and had the same desire for something more. “I’m sorry,” she said.
“If anyone’s to blame, it’s me. I should have ended things a long time ago. I just didn’t have the will to do it. It would have been kinder if I had though.”
“I can’t see how you could have predicted this. It’s true that ending something that doesn’t work is the smart thing to do, but you couldn’t have known how it would have affected her,” Lexi said.
He reached out and, with the back of his hand, glazed the side of her cheek. She leaned in and closed her eyes, absorbing his unguarded affection. He slowly pushed his hands into her hair and angled his face so that their lips touched. His lips were soft, his facial hair prickly. He deepened the kiss, and the taste of him…indescribable. Her hands ran down his chest, and the need for him overwhelmed her. The more she tasted of him, the more she desired. Her heart pounded against her chest as she realized what she wanted. He smelled clean, like soap, but there was also a scent she couldn’t make out, almost like a pheromone that seemed to make her need him more. She hadn’t wanted anyone like she wanted him, not that she had ever given in before.
This time though, it would be unthinkable to deny Caleb… He broke away. His cheeks were red, his breathing was ragged, and he looked anxious. She unintentionally sobbed, as if he’d been snatched away and that separation was painful.
“Lexi,” Caleb gasped. “This thing we have won’t last if we burn up all at once. We have to get to know each other better. Trust me. Please just trust me,” he pleaded.
Her pelvis cramped again, punishing her for her unfulfilled tryst. She lay back into her seat, breathless. From just a kiss. Her chest heaved as she tried to control her breathing. “I do trust you, Caleb. More than I have ever trusted a man before. I want you Caleb…” She sounded desperate, even to her own ears.
Caleb put his palm on his forehead. “Lexi, I don’t want to ask you this, but I feel like I have to.” He breathed out heavily. “Lexi, you seem so innocent. I’m sorry to ask this, but are you a virgin?”
Lexi squirmed in her seat. She didn’t want to answer. She couldn’t look him in the eye, so she looked out her side window. Minutes passed, though the time seemed as if it stretched on for hours. In a nearly inaudible voice she answered, “Yes…”
“More the reason to take things slow then. I want you to enjoy yourself, and that can’t happen unless we take things a little slower.” He reached to stroke her face. He seemed unable to be near her without touching her.
3
Come Over
Lexi slowly crept up the stairs toward her room as if she were sneaking in after curfew. Since it was already after two in the morning, she didn’t want to wake anyone. She’d noticed Mike’s Cadillac in the driveway, which wasn’t unusual for a weekend night.
She grabbed her pajamas and slipped into the en suite bathroom connected to her bedroom, to freshen up after being at the bar. The smell of old nicotine and fruit-laden cocktails wafted from her hair, which meant if left unwashed, she’d regret it in the morning. She submerged herself into the steamy bath water, keeping only her face above the surface. She couldn’t believe herself and what she would have done had Caleb not stopped her. Had he saved her twice in one night? Once from Miles, and the second time from herself? The latter was more concerning, and weren’t most men opportunistic? He could have had her, but he was different than most men, or had he wanted her at all? Self-control and physical desire were not on the same side. As much as she’d liked to analyze all that had happened, her eyes drooped. With wet hair and a labyrinth of thoughts, Lexi slept dreamlessly.
The next morning she finally dressed and wandered downstairs with the knowledge that she’d have to be functional at some point today, and she’d put it off long enough. Ashley was in the kitchen, fixing herself a sandwich for lunch. Her was hair pulled up, the shorter hair underneath the ponytail bobby pinned to keep the hair off her neck. Wearing sleek black capri leggings and a coordinating tank top, she looked like she had just been for a run.
“Hungry?” Ashley asked as she cut through her sandwich with a large bread knife. The yeasty smell of stone-ground bread, the saltiness of the ham, and the subtle scent of the cheese hung in the air.
“No, I’m not really that hungry yet. Where’s Mike?” Lexi asked. Her stomach clenched from the night before, and the smell of food didn’t help.
“He’s at the restaurant, helping prepare food for a catering job this afternoon,” Ashley said as she bit into her sandwich. “So how was your night? I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Well, I drank too much, thanks to my new coworkers. I don’t know if they have crazy tolerances to alcohol or if they were just buying me drinks to see how intoxicated I could get,” Lexi said, her face grimacing at the memory.
Ashley went to the refrigerator and pulled out a sports drink. “Here, this will help. Drink it all. You’re dehydrated.”
Lexi slowly drained the bottle. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as offensive as she’d expected. “Thanks.”
“How did you get home last night? I didn’t see your SUV in the driveway?”
“Well, actually it was Mike’s brother, Caleb,” Lexi said, trying to sound casual
.
Ashley chewed her food quickly. “He went out with you all?” Her eyes widened with curiosity.
“Well…no…I accidentally called him instead of dialing that cabby’s number that was in my phone,” Lexi said sheepishly.
“And he came to get you?”
“Yes, but in my defense I thought I was waiting for a cab. I mistook his number for the number of the cab. I wouldn’t have just called him hoping for him to drive me around.” Every word Lexi muttered sounded sincere, or at least she hoped so.
“I know that, but you know he likes you. He wouldn’t chauffeur you around if he didn’t,” Ashley said with a sly grin.
Lexi kept her face blank. Ashley had hit on what she’d wanted to hear, but giving into that would be painful if Caleb didn’t reciprocate those feelings. In some ways she believed her affections had to be one sided, but what if he felt the same way about her?
“When I’m with him, I feel out of control. I’ve never felt like that before, and I don’t want to ruin it.”
Ashley pushed her empty plate to the middle of the table and rested her arms where the plate had been. “Lexi, I think he feels the same way about you. Before you came into the picture, everyone thought he and Corrine were going to get married. They were just that kind of couple, and they had been together for a couple of years. It just seemed inevitable. I’m not sure how they were together as a couple though. Mike and I invited them out a couple of times, but our schedules never seemed to line up. I’m sure you already know how Mike felt about her too. Corrine wasn’t a kind person.”
Lexi shifted as guilt pricked her heart. Was she the cause of Caleb and Corrine’s relationship failing? Being the other woman wasn’t something Lexi envisioned, not that she’d technically been the other woman, but still… How would she and Caleb be any different than the relationship he walked away from?
“Do you think I caused them to break up?” Lexi blurted, unable to keep her voice even.
Ashley smiled and leaned in. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, Lexi. So please just hear me out. I don’t think that he would have left her if you hadn’t come into the picture. That being said, he wouldn’t have been happy either. They worked as a couple, at least on the surface level. I don’t think they really brought out the best in one another though. Mike would tell me about the fights they used to have. She had a nasty temper. I couldn’t tell if he wanted to be with her or not, but Mike always said Caleb was a people pleaser. He always puts everyone else above himself. Mike said that Caleb only became a doctor because of something that happened when he was a child—he wasn’t really compelled in the traditional sense to become a doctor. It was more like a coping mechanism.”
“I see.” Lexi’s thoughts raced. She couldn’t understand why he wanted her. Emotionally, she was still grieving her mom. Mentally, she struggled with her ex-boyfriend’s treatment of her. Physically, she was an accident waiting to happen. Why he would want her? Regardless of all of the possible whys, she felt a pull to him and hoped what he felt for her was just at strong.
It was late afternoon, and Lexi had managed to eat two frozen waffles doused with butter and syrup. Miraculously, the sports drink had ebbed her nausea, and she actually felt somewhat normal. She opted for casual clothes today and wore a borrowed pair of yoga pants from Ashley and a V-neck shirt that was worn and frayed at the hem. Her limited clothing selection wouldn’t last her much longer—fall would be here soon—and she’d have to supplement her lacking closet. Her wardrobe consisted of swimsuits, short-sleeved shirts, maxiskirts, and shorts. She’d bought a few outfits for work, but was going to need something to wear when she wasn’t working that would keep her warm. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d bought a sweater or a hoodie. Even though today would’ve been an ideal shopping day, she’d have to wait for her paycheck to replenish her puny bank account.
When her cell phone chimed its annoying loud tone, she jumped. She still hadn’t found the settings to turn down the volume on the thing. Caleb’s name flashed on the screen, and she quickly answered.
“Hello,” she said, trying to sound relaxed.
“Lexi, it’s good to hear your voice. How are you feeling today?” Caleb asked in a concerned voice.
Her palms were sweating, and she rubbed them one at a time on her yoga pants while she shuffled the phone from hand to hand. “I’m good… Thanks again for taking me home last night. I’m sure you had better things to do.” She bit her lip as she waited for his response.
“It wasn’t a problem at all. I wasn’t busy. Anyway, I was wondering if you would like to come to my house for dinner this evening? It will be low key,” he said in his velvety voice.
She didn’t know how to respond without sounding too excited. “That would be nice…can I bring anything?”
“No, just yourself. Could I come and pick you up? I’m not sure if you’d find my place otherwise.”
“Okay, sure. What time will you be here?” She’d need time to get her car from the tavern and to get herself together. She didn’t want him seeing her sloppily dressed.
“Is five o’clock all right with you? I’m ordering carryout from Mike’s restaurant. I don’t cook that much, and the food is always good there,” Caleb said.
“That’s perfect.”
“Do you have any food preferences or aversions that I should be aware of?”
“Well, I’m a little picky. I don’t like garlic or seafood, but I love beef—oh, and desserts. Also, veggies are a little tricky. There aren’t many I like.” She was nervous about eating at Caleb’s, with all of her food dislikes. Past experience had taught her to be up front with her taste preferences—otherwise her gag reflex would give her away.
“Were going to have to do something about that,” he said with a laugh.
Little could be done to make Lexi embrace new foods. She’d always been a picky eater, and things with exotic flavors or strange textures were out of the question. If she was honest with herself, she liked the challenge Caleb proposed. “I’m a supertaster—there’s not much that you’ll be able to do to curb that,” she said with a laugh.
“Supertaster, eh? Well, we’ll see,” he said as he ended the call.
Lexi couldn’t seem to relax the smile that was now plastered on her face. One look down at her clothes helped to snap her out of her trance. She looked like she was going to a meditation studio at present, and that wouldn’t do for what seemed like a date. She opened her closet but could only find clothes she’d bought for work. Nothing that said casual date night, other than what she’d worn last night, and that wouldn’t do—they still smelled like the bar. Luckily, Ashley was generous with loaning her things and had invited Lexi to help herself.
As she headed to Ashley’s bedroom, she doubted that Ashley would even notice if anything was missing. The closet was large and packed with clothes for every season and occasion. There was a section that still had the price tags attached, which Lexi avoided. The tricky part of borrowing clothes from Ashley was finding pants that weren’t too short. Lexi’s legs were inches longer than Ashley’s, so if she wore Ashley’s jeans, they would look like capris on her. Lexi settled on formfitting cropped jeans, though they were probably loose on Ashely. She pulled out a teal hooded sweatshirt that had a generous neckline. She’d wear a hot-pink camisole of her own underneath.
It’d taken her longer to get ready than she’d thought, so she scurried to finish up when the clock read four thirty. She had a few minutes still, but worried he would come early. Her freshly showered hair was the last thing to style. Lexi drove the detangling brush through her fine blond strands, which were knotted. She soothed curling gel through her hair and would let it dry naturally. It would still look wild, but at least it wouldn’t be frizzy. She put on her flip-flops, still unable to wear a closed-toe shoe, and headed downstairs. Ashley was out with Mike, which meant Lexi could wait for Caleb without Ashley overanalyzing Caleb’s motivations.
As she waited, she grew
uneasy about going to his house. Not that she was nervous with him, but what remnants of Corrine remained? Would there be pictures of them together, or even some of her belongings? Was he really ready or even able to move on after such a long and committed relationship? She sighed. It really didn’t matter. Jealousy wasn’t usually part of her personality.
Just shy of five o’clock, the stones of the driveway crunched under the weight of Caleb’s SUV. She waited for him on the porch, noticing that he carried a vase of flowers. The blossoms seemed to verify that this was indeed a date. Acquaintances didn’t bring flowers.
“Oh my gosh, they’re beautiful,” Lexi said as she buried her nose in the bouquet of freesias. “And they smell wonderful! Thank you.”
“Well, I hoped you would like them. If nothing else, they should match the purple in your bruised toe.”
“Very funny. I’ll have you know the bruise also has shades of green in it now.” She wiggled her injured toe. Being around him just felt so easy. Even with his failed attempts at humor, he was just so right. Caleb followed her inside of the house.
“I’ll make note of that,” he said.
Lexi sat the vase on the kitchen table and gently fanned out the many buds to show off their beauty. The kitchen would be the perfect place to display them so that Ashley could also enjoy the bouquet.
As Lexi climbed inside Caleb’s SUV, images of the previous night flashed in her mind. Had he really asked if she was a virgin, or was that a distorted drunken memory? The scent of Caleb was recognizable even from where Lexi sat. He smelled spicy with the cologne he always wore, but there was something else that was just him. She breathed in deeply and tried to memorize him.
The SUV pulled away from town and headed toward Caleb’s house.
The evening air was crisp, and the sky was already darkening. The overcast sky made it look later than it was. The ride from Lexi’s to Caleb’s house only took about seven minutes. The scenery went from small town to wilderness. The trees were much thicker, and Lexi didn’t spot any close neighbors. Caleb announced they were pulling into his driveway, and the trees loomed with their vast height, surrounding the property.