Restored

by Kari Alice

  Caleb pulled away, looking down at her. “Did I hurt you?” he asked as he looked her over. “Open your mouth.” The inner part of her bottom lip was tender.

  Caleb jumped up and headed to the kitchen.

  A warm trickle of liquid slid down her chin. She touched the warm drop and was shocked to see her own blood. Her hands trembled, and waves of nausea shook her body.

  Caleb returned with a cool, wet washcloth. Lexi’s head swam as he eased her down into a lying position, and he placed the washcloth on her forehead. Caleb wiped at the blood on her chin with the sleeve of his shirt, which left a crimson stain on the white linen. Uh-oh.

  Lexi stared into Caleb’s eyes, but the flickering blackness pulled her down deeper. She couldn’t fight what was happening…it was the same way every time she fainted. First came the heavy muffled sounds as her hearing was wiped out by static. Then her vision faded out, as did any balance she had remaining, and then at last came the blackness. The blackness seemed to have a pulling quality, as if assisted by its own gravity.

  Moments later, her eyes flickered back to consciousness. Her fainting episodes rarely lasted long, but they always left her feeling drained.

  “Lexi…baby…are you okay?” Caleb asked as he stroked the hair away from her face.

  She was weak but determined to look as composed as possible. With effort, she spoke. “I’m okay.” Then her eyes closed. She focused on the calluses on his fingers as he stroked her face. Simplistic thoughts were generally the most comforting.

  “Damn it, Lexi. Open your eyes!” Caleb pleaded.

  She heard him, but she couldn’t respond. He moved her resting body onto his lap. Something in her body roused, and energy returned as she opened her eyes and looked directly into his. “I’m sorry,” she slurred.

  “Lexi, I’m the one who broke you. I’m sorry. Do you realize how much you scare me when you do that? I wouldn’t be surprised if you were chronically anemic.”

  “I think it’s just me. I have zero tolerance for blood. Are you thinking of trading me in for a stronger model?” Lexi tried to joke, but her voice was too weak for humor.

  Caleb’s expression grew rather stern. “Don’t blow this off, Lexi. Don’t you know how much I love you?”

  Her heart contracted. No one outside of her family had ever made such a claim. “You love me?” Her breathing grew more rapid, and she was unable to control her excitement.

  “Of course I do. Couldn’t you tell?” Caleb looked into her eyes as if searching for something.

  “I don’t know. I thought maybe it was just me feeling that way. I didn’t really think that someone like you could really love me.”

  He meant what he’d said, but still it was hard to get into her head. It was like there was a barricade that he couldn’t breach. He’d tried to soften her on this point before, but every attempt proved useless. His muscles clenched.

  “What do you mean, someone like me?” Caleb said, anger creeping into his voice.

  “Perfect in every way. That’s how I see you. I saw Corrine again today,” she said, her eyes lowering but her fingers gripping his shoulder tightly.

  Caleb ran a hand through his hair. “What did you say?” Corrine’s bitchy nature would walk all over Lexi, given half the chance.

  “Two times actually. Once at Dr. Ives’s office in the waiting room, and then again this morning at the clinic,” Lexi said in a faint whisper.

  “Shit! She knows that she isn’t supposed to be at the clinic,” Caleb said, scowling. He’d have to confront her. She was up to her usual tricks. He tightened his arms around Lexi and rested his chin on her head.

  Lexi pulled back slightly. “Well, she seems to be everywhere. Everything about her looks perfect, Caleb. I can see why you were attracted to her.” She paused, then swept a hand down her upper body. He knew what was coming…

  “Look at me, Caleb! I mean it. Really look at me!” she shouted and then pushed herself out of his arms and stood up. She wobbled slightly, obviously not completely recovered from fainting.

  Caleb stood and pulled her into an embrace. “What are you doing, baby? You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. Corrine is nothing compared to you, and she must know it too. Otherwise, she wouldn’t give you the time of day.” Caleb held Lexi as she sobbed, and her body shuddered. “I don’t understand what’s gotten you so upset. I only love you, Lexi.”

  She lifted her bloodshot eyes to meet his gaze. Caleb still held her close, hoping a physical connection would keep her from falling apart.

  “I just can’t see it. I’ve had so many things happen in my life that seemed like at any moment everything I cared about could vanish. But no one has ever felt that way about me. I’ve always felt like I was replaceable.” Lexi rubbed at her eyes. He pulled her hands away and gently kissed each eyelid.

  “You’ve got to let that idea go. You are the most important person in my life. When I’m not around you, I feel sick. This weekend was torture for me. I missed you so much,” Caleb confessed.

  “You and me both. I felt like a part of my body was missing this weekend. It felt so off, not having you near. I love you too, Caleb,” Lexi said in relief. Something shifted inside of her, and her connection with Caleb seemed to be reinforced. It wasn’t that she’d ever thought she wasn’t deserving, but she wasn’t without her own flaws. Somehow, Caleb saw beyond her imperfections to something deeper and more enduring than just her physical characteristics.

  “Lexi, I’m yours. I’m not sure what that means to you, but I’ll be whatever it is you need me to be. I have to be with you,” he said as if he was saying something sacred.

  “I’m yours too, Caleb. I know that I’m timid, but I want to be yours in every possible way.” Her nails dug into his arms as she tried to brace herself.

  He kissed her softly, avoiding the broken skin on her bottom lip. He nuzzled into her neck and gently kissed over the pulse point on her throat. “You will be mine soon enough, in every physical way possible,” he promised.

  She trembled at his vow. She was ready for him.

  8

  Take Me to the Woods

  Lexi stepped out onto the soft snow-covered ground. Caleb took her hand, pulling her to her feet. How would this all go? Her heart hammered in her chest.

  “Would you like to walk around the lake?” Caleb asked. He smiled at her, dimples indenting his cheeks.

  “Okay.” Lexi bit her lip. Walking would be good for her. Maybe it could even exhaust her enough not to worry.

  The trees were set back from the lake, which left a wide trail around its entirety. Caleb squeezed her hand as they walked. She turned to him and forced a smile. He had to know she wanted to be there with him, but at the same time…

  “Look at the ice along the bank.” Caleb point to where it clung just at the bank’s edge.

  “Who knew it’d be this cold in September?” A winter chill had settled over Birch Point Campground, but Lexi was warmed that Caleb had thought to bring her to this enchanting forest.

  “You’re not in Florida anymore. Just wait until you’re snowed in for weeks.” He winked at her. “What do you say we head back to the cabin? I know you’ve got to be cold.”

  Her fingers were numb, her nose started to run from the chill, and her ears burned. She nodded. If she spoke, her voice would shake. She had to get herself together. She slid on snow-covered pine needles. Caleb caught her in his sturdy arms. She looked in his eyes. He was the one—the connection with him was there from the start.

  Caleb emptied the back of his SUV, while Lexi stood on the front porch and fiddled with the key. She couldn’t tell if the door was frozen shut or if there was a trick to opening it. She jiggled the doorknob, and finally it creaked open. The warmth of the furnace hit her face as she stepped inside. The warm rush that greeted her was a welcome relief from the cold, moist air from the snow-dusted ground. Relief. The snow seemed to come out of nowhere. It hadn’t been predicted, and it usually didn’t fall thi
s early in autumn, Ashley had said. Lexi admired the snow, since she had lived in Florida for so long. She hadn’t realized how clean and beautiful it would look.

  She walked around inside of the cabin and ran her fingers over the lavish leather sofa. The cabin’s interior was better than expected and looked more like a hotel. Both Caleb and Lexi had taken off Thursday and Friday, which gave them a four-day weekend to enjoy themselves, and hopefully each other. There was no going back now…

  Lexi went deeper into the cabin and found two bedrooms. The structure itself appeared sturdy and functional, and with the exterior pine trees and dusting of snow, the cabin resembled the ski lodge that it was used for during the winter months. When Caleb came in, he put all their luggage in the bigger bedroom.

  It wasn’t that she didn’t want to sleep with Caleb—she’d slept with him before without the certainty of further intimacy. She wasn’t opposed to losing her virginity to Caleb, but she wasn’t sure how it would feel to be that intimate with another person. The concept was simple, but the practicality of it seemed overly embarrassing. She’d looked at her body critically in the bathroom mirror at home after her shower and had felt inadequate. She’d even used her hand mirror so she could see what she looked like from the backside—too wide across her buttocks and thighs, she’d thought. Her weight was normal, but she wasn’t proportioned like a model. Her breasts were small, and her bottom was heavy. Knowing that Caleb was a doctor did little to ease her mind. Then there was the annoying image she conjured up of Corrine, who was seemingly perfect in every way physically.

  Caleb grabbed Lexi from behind as she sorted through her clothes. She jumped, not that she hadn’t heard him, but she was startled out of her own thoughts.

  “Why so tense, love?” He nuzzled and kissed the side of her neck. Then he gently massaged her shoulders. “I’d been kidding, but Lexi, your shoulders are so tight. We’re away. You should be more relaxed than this.”

  She turned to look at him with tears in her eyes. “I just wonder why you’re with me sometimes. I mean, look at you, perfection…and then there’s me…”

  “Did somebody say something to you? Because when I look at you, all I see is a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman that I love…” Caleb’s eyes locked on to hers as he dared her to contradict what he’d said.

  “You say that now. If you saw me naked, you wouldn’t be saying that.” Her eyes fixed downward. She couldn’t seem to separate her fear of not being enough with the fear of absolute intimacy.

  “Well, I’ve seen you mostly naked, and that only left me wanting more,” he said as he kissed her neck and earlobe.

  “I don’t look like Corrine. I’m not perfect,” she protested. She couldn’t quite understand how Corrine had gotten under her skin. Corrine was trouble, but her physical characteristics were almost impossible to beat.

  “I don’t want to talk about her. In fact, she’s the last person I want to talk about right now. I want you, Lexi. I don’t think I can hold back much longer.”

  He pushed his body against hers. His erection was stiff under his jeans as he pressed against her. He kissed her possessively and only stopped long enough to take a breath. He gently laid her down on the bed. Her mind raced as she processed what was happening. She’d wanted this for so long…now it felt dreamlike.

  Caleb dimmed the lights, which made only their outlines visible. It was still early evening, but it was already dark outside. Caleb closed the blinds.

  Lexi watched him intently. She wasn’t as worried about how vulnerable she would be—she just wanted him. The scent of pine radiated throughout the cabin, and it calmed her, though she was still very alert. He walked back to the bed where Lexi lay; her eyes hadn’t left him. Even in the dim light he seemed illuminated. He crawled on the bed and started to undress her. He unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans and tugged on them. She didn’t protest, had wanted him to take control. Tension built in her abdomen, and it had a serpent quality to it. The tension moved and seemed alive, all of which spurred her desire.

  “You won’t be needing these, baby,” he said as he pulled her jeans off completely.

  He tugged her shirt off, and she lay like a statue in her light-pink lace bra and panties. She’d packed matching lingerie, which was unlike her usual mismatched underwear she had worn pre-Caleb. He took off his own shirt and jeans and discarded them on the floor. She looked him up and down, and her eyes fixed on his midsection, unsure of how…it wouldn’t be painful.

  Caleb lay down beside her. She raised her arm to wrap around him, but her arm trembled so erratically that Caleb rested her arm back to her side. This had to be slow and intentional. He’d already anticipated how he’d have to control himself. He didn’t want to hurt her; she meant too much to him to make her first time painful. Though she’d have to endure some pain…but he planned to make it so pleasurable, she’d forget it even as she experienced it.

  “I love you, baby. You know that, right?” Caleb said as his hand caressed over her body. His fingers were greedy as they traveled over her bare skin.

  “I love you too,” she said, though her body shook all over.

  “It’s okay, baby. Shh…it’s really is okay,” he whispered into her ear.

  Caleb unhooked her bra and threw it to the floor. He kissed her neck, and as he hovered over her slightly, he inched his way downward. Her nipples were erect, evidence that she wanted him too. His trail of kisses teased her as his mouth came closer to her breast, but still just out of reach. His tongue captured her nipple as he gently cupped and kneaded the other breast with his free hand. She jerked, clearly a little overwhelmed with attention. He didn’t stop, but instead sucked her nipple harder, leaving it bright crimson as he released it. He moved his mouth to the other nipple and gave it the same attention.

  Lexi sighed, her restraint deserting her. He moved farther down, and his teeth grazed over her rib cage, which made her moan louder. He hooked his index fingers on either side of her panties and pulled them off and threw them onto the floor. Her legs began to splay open on their own, but there was that nagging fear that crept back in her mind as she tentatively held them together. He pushed her thighs open, and she closed her eyes, unable to watch. When she kept her eyes closed, she was able to focus more on how good it felt. The coarse stubble on his face rubbed her where her panties had been. He pulled her clitoris into his mouth, and her legs involuntarily dropped to each side. Her senses were overloaded, and yet he persisted, not letting her escape his touch. She couldn’t have moved away from him even if she’d wanted to—the pleasure was too intense. He was relentless, and she was in a daze of euphoria. All of a sudden her body began convulsing uncontrollably. She moaned loudly as her legs flailed, but Caleb wouldn’t stop. The cramping that had grown in her abdomen exploded, and pleasure washed over her whole body.

  As the convulsion ebbed, a new assault began. Caleb pushed inside of her opening with his finger in a slow and methodical rhythm. She tried to close her thighs, but he held them open. She squirmed at the sense of something down there tearing, painful and sharp. She was convinced that something was wrong. Then he plunged another finger deeply inside her body. She was overly slick, and his fingers met little resistance. She wanted to push his fingers out, though it wasn’t possible. He wouldn’t let her move away. All at once the pain abruptly stopped, though she still felt him moving his fingers in and out. Something had changed, and his touch felt impossibly good. Logical thought abandoned her and was replaced with only sensory readings of pleasure and pain. His fingers glided in and out of her, and her moaning escalated. He pulled his hand away, and he positioned himself on top of her.

  “You are so beautiful, baby. I have to have you now,” he said in a ragged breath. “You’re mine…”

  Lexi watched him intently. His eyes met and locked on hers. He pushed himself inside her slowly. As he entered, his erection stretched her skin as his full length claimed her. He filled her in a way that left her momentarily breathless, and she wanted th
at feeling to endure. There was nothing painful in the way he felt inside of her. Her moans grew louder as every inch of him pushed into her. A tingling sensation washed over her as a new mounting of pressure built up inside of her. As he pushed himself deeper inside, she lost all control. Uncontainable contractions rippled throughout her body, but at the same time her opening clutched tightly around him. Caleb moaned as she squeezed around his erection.

  Lexi’s voice cracked as she cried out, never having experienced such intense pleasure. Caleb’s pace sped up. He called her name as he erupted. She gasped as the hot fluid flooded inside of her. He embraced her tightly. For a few minutes after his orgasm, he held her buttocks firmly as he rested his body within hers. He slowly pulled out and lay beside her and pulled her closer to him so that she was the spoon in front of him. After a few minutes more, Lexi’s skin grew cooler.

  Caleb sat up, looking to pull the cover up over them.

  The sheets were stained with her blood, which was smeared on her thighs and on himself as well. “Do you feel okay, baby?” He lightly stroked down between her ribs and over her abdomen.

  She nodded but didn’t open her eyes. He went to the attached bathroom and came back with a small basin of warm water, washcloths, and towels.

  “Lay on your back, baby. Keep your eyes closed for me.”

  She rolled onto her back, and he gently forced her thighs apart. He lightly washed her thighs and sensitive areas. He patted her dry with a towel and finished by cleaning himself off. He left a dry towel under her to cover the remaining blood—it couldn’t be helped right now. He poured out the crimson-laced basin and lay back down by her. He covered them both with the top sheet and quilt. Lexi seemed listless, as if she’d run a marathon. Caleb’s mind swam in serotonin, which also left his body spent. He held her tightly in his clutch and fell asleep feeling fulfilled in every way possible.