Restored

by Kari Alice

  Lexi tried to clear her mind of all the chatter, but it was ruthless. There seemed to be no point in anything. Her father died, and she could barely remember him. She was raised by a mother who loved her but was too consumed with grieving her husband. Then her mom died too, which left her as alone as she’d ever been, as Justin had deserted her. Then she moved to Maine to live with her cousin, which was a reprieve. There was no denying how wonderful it was to live with Ashley. And Caleb fell in love with her, and that too was snatched away. As she played out this story in her head, somehow she finally relaxed enough to fall back asleep.

  At five in the morning, Lexi jerked upright, as if she’d been shaken awake. Pain radiated throughout her head and was unlike any headache she’d ever felt. Her breathing was labored, and she intentionally took slow and deep inhalations. As she surfaced from sleep, a still frame of Caleb entered her mind. Something about that image seemed wrong. Was he was in trouble? This wasn’t a panic attack, though she’d had a couple of those after her mother passed. The images and pain she felt couldn’t have been caused by the stress she’d endured—the images of Caleb were too real.

  She recalled a similar image she’d envisioned of her mother, but in that image her mother’s body looked vacant. There weren’t any sensory symptoms during that incident either, but her mother had already died at the time of that vision. Shortly after that image of her mother had appeared in her mind’s eye, the phone rang, and she was then notified of her mom’s death.

  Ignoring the feeling wasn’t a possibility, so she rushed to ready herself. Her pajamas clung to her body, and she peeled them off. She threw her dampened clothes onto the bedroom floor and quickly put on a long-sleeved T-shirt and yoga leggings. She darted out the door as if she were running a race. She didn’t stop to wake Ashley or Mike, who’d stayed over. She hoped her panic was a product of her own imagination and delusional nightmares. She jumped into her SUV and drove in the direction of Caleb’s house.

  Caleb’s home looked as it always did, but her anxiety didn’t lessen. She hurried to get to the house. She jiggled the door handle, but it didn’t budge. There was a light on inside, but the curtains obstructed her view. She banged on the door with the palm of her hand as loudly as she could. If Caleb was awake, then he would hear the banging. After about thirty seconds of knocking, she stopped to listen for any sign that he might be coming. She called his name and hoped he would open the door. Her actions seemed distant, as if she were disembodied, as if the chaos couldn’t touch her. She had to get inside of the house.

  She looked around and ran toward the flower beds. There was a rock wall that retained the shrubbery and mulch. The rocks were smooth but irregular shaped and were stacked in a way that made them look as if they were part of the natural formation. She grabbed one of the cold rocks that resembled a brick. She chose to break the window that was accessible from the porch. She stood back and aimed the rock to hit just under the window’s locking mechanism. She flung the rock, and clangs of shattering glass rang in her ears. She carefully peered through the opening. The rock had traveled through the window and curtains and rested on the hardwood floor, along with several shards of glass. A crooning noise came from inside, and she realized it was Benjamin, meowing erratically. The hole in the window was big enough but still jagged. If she reached into the hole, then she would most likely cut herself. It was just too tight. She ran off the porch to grab another rock. The glass resembled spiky icicles, which she cracked off in a hammering motion. She knocked away enough spikes to allow her hand to reach inside and open the latch. As Lexi pushed the window frame open, splinters of glass dug into her hands. She forced open the curtains and climbed inside. Her shoes crunched on the glass that littered the floor. Once fully inside, a flash of brown ran upstairs. She’d startled Benjamin.

  Lexi involuntarily stepped backward when she saw Caleb at the base of the stairs. He was motionless on the floor, with his head facing away from her. Cool air blew in through the open window, which sent chills up her spine. She rushed to his side and fell onto her knees. Nothing mattered other than him being okay. A jolt of pain surged throughout her legs as her knees hit the floor, but she ignored the pain. He was breathing, but she still placed her hand on his chest to feel his inhalations, and she breathed a little easier as his chest moved up and down. She tried to rouse Caleb, but he didn’t respond. She grabbed the house phone and frantically dialed 911. The dispatcher was able to trace Caleb’s address, which was good, as Lexi’s words came out panicked and made little sense.

  The ambulance arrived within ten minutes of the 911 call. Lexi rode in the ambulance to the hospital, but was asked to sit in the front passenger seat so she’d be out of the paramedics’ way as they stabilized Caleb.

  Once at the hospital, Caleb was taken into the emergency department. Lexi was escorted to another area in the ER. She was prompted to sit down on a patient stretcher in the emergency department, as if she was a patient herself. Blood trickled down her hands, and for the first time she had no recollection of pain or even the urge to faint. Mentally she was unattached to her own senses. Without Caleb, nothing mattered…

  A young medical student came in and explained that he would remove the small shards of glass that had been embedded in her palms. Nothing seemed to faze her, not the tweezers pulling on the glass pieces and not even the pain itself. Once the small splinters of glass were all removed and her hands were wrapped in gauze, she asked to see Caleb.

  She was given the runaround when she tried to locate him. Finally an EMT who had been on the scene at Caleb’s house spoke to a lady in the nurses’ station, and Lexi was finally taken to Caleb. Her knees were unsteady when she saw him laid out on the hospital bed. His unconscious body looked weak and pale. He was the one who’d taken control—who knew how to react in emergency situations. Now, he was helpless. Lexi sank into the chair at his side and dialed Ashley’s number from the hospital phone. Mike answered, and she told him where she was and all that had transpired. Lexi held on to Caleb’s exposed arm with her own injured hands and laid her cheek against him. She sobbed as she waited for Caleb to wake up, as all the recent events flooded her overwhelmed mind.

  Lexi woke up to light stroking of her hair. She couldn’t recall where she was, and relished the soft touches, until her memories came flowing back. As she opened her swollen eyes, she could see that Caleb was awake and they weren’t alone. Mike and Ashley stood at the end of the bed, and on the other side of the bed stood a man and woman, both of whom were smartly dressed—most likely Caleb and Mike’s parents. Mrs. Avery was fixated on Caleb, as if scanning him for any lasting defects. Her eyes were the same signature chocolate brown as Caleb’s and Mike’s.

  “She wakes,” Caleb said in a husky voice.

  Someone squeezed Lexi’s shoulder, and she turned to find Ashley giving her a silent hello. Lexi turned back to Caleb and searched his now opened eyes. “Are you going to be okay?” Her words sounded raw from sleep and crying. She coughed against the dryness of her throat.

  “I think so, thanks to you, Lexi,” Caleb said. He picked up her hand and stroked his thumb gently across her bandaged knuckles.

  Lexi hadn’t taken her eyes off of Caleb, but she felt a warm embrace hugging her back. She turned to see Mrs. Avery holding her tightly. “Sorry. I just couldn’t help myself,” Mrs. Avery said as she pulled away. “If you hadn’t found Caleb when you did, then who knows what would have happened to him,” she said as she wiped tears from her eyes.

  Caleb interrupted. “Lexi, how did you find me?”

  “I felt it…” Lexi was unsure of how to explain herself. It wasn’t so much about finding him as it was feeling him. The connection they shared was stronger than she’d let herself believe.

  “What do you mean?” Caleb urged her to elaborate.

  “I just knew something was wrong with you. I felt pain, and I knew that something had happened to you…” Lexi’s let her gaze drift downward, reliving the feelings of terror she’d so u
rgently felt. Who’d believe it though? It was something she couldn’t fully describe. “What happened to you?”

  “I missed a step on the stairs. I remember falling, but then I don’t remember anything else but waking up here,” Caleb said as he rubbed his bandaged head.

  “How badly are you hurt?” The questions she asked were intimate, but it didn’t matter that they were surrounded by family.

  “I have a very mild epidural hematoma, which could have killed me if you hadn’t found me in time.”

  “What?” Lexi asked, confused by Caleb’s statement. Was he overstating his condition?

  “It’s true, Lexi,” Mike said. “You saved my brother’s life. If you hadn’t gotten there when you did, then the swelling would have pushed on his brain and probably would have killed him.” Mike’s voice was thick with emotion. His usual jovial mood had taken on a serious quality.

  Lexi’s eyes teared up, and she grabbed Caleb’s arm that much tighter, despite her bandaged hands.

  Moments later the neurologist entered. “If you will all excuse me for about twenty minutes, I need to check on my patient.”

  Lexi kissed Caleb’s hand, afraid to get too close to his head. Everyone then filed out of the small hospital room.

  “Are you coming with us to the waiting room?” Ashley asked as she grabbed Lexi’s arm.

  “Actually, I want to go to the gift shop for a minute.”

  “I can come with you,” Ashley offered.

  “No, I’ll be okay. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” She needed a private moment, for clarity. Having so much support was overwhelming to Lexi, who’d always relied on herself. Ashley seemed to understand what she’d meant and gave her the space she needed.

  As Lexi walked down the hallway toward the elevator, she breathed deeply, trying to take in everything that had happened. Her stomach growled loudly, which alerted her to just how hungry she was. The hospital was much nicer than she’d anticipated, and boasted a sleek design with modern touches. The floors were immaculate, and art hung on the walls. Most of the art centered on pictures of the wilderness, though some of the pictures showcased local marinas and lobsters. She took the elevator to the first floor and walked in the direction of the gift shop.

  The gift shop was nestled in its own nook, but it was more picturesque than she’d thought possible for something in a hospital. There were planters on either side of the open entryway, in which vines busted out of their containers. The center of the planters held hardy, green-colored palm-like plants, which reminded her of the palm trees in Florida. She slipped into the small area and purchased a soda and a homemade banana nut muffin. Her fingers shook as she handed the cashier her money. Her blood sugar had to be low. She sat at one on the secluded little tables and devoured her breakfast. The muffin tasted better than she thought possible, especially since her appetite had been absent for days. Lexi checked the time on the wall clock and decided that she would go back upstairs to see if Caleb was finished with his examination.

  As Lexi headed down the corridor toward the elevator, Missy and Tony stood together in the lobby. She started walking their way, knowing that it would be polite to say hello. As she neared, the two seemed to be in the middle of a private conversation. The corridor was columned and had a few depressed decorative alcoves that made the lobby look like a dance hall. Avoidance was the only option at this point, and Lexi backed up into one of the many alcoves and was out of sight of either Tony or Missy. She planned to head back toward the elevators once she was sure she would be out of sight. Although Lexi hadn’t intended to listen to the conversation, she couldn’t help but hear. At first what she heard didn’t make much sense, but the tone was so intense. Missy called Tony a bastard. That word broke clearly away from Missy’s checked tone. Lexi pressed her body against the inner wall of the alcove, not wanting to be discovered, and she settled in and waited for the two to leave.

  “So you would have just kept trailing me along, wouldn’t you?” Missy asked in an unconstrained whisper.

  Lexi strained to hear the hushed murmurs but was unable to catch Missy’s quiet undertones.

  “I said I was sorry. What more do you want me to say?” Tony said, clearly aggravated. “I know that maybe it was gone about in the wrong way, but it’s my kid, and I have to step up.”

  At that, Lexi shivered. She couldn’t verify whose child they were talking about, but wondered if they were talking about Corrine.

  “So that’s it then? Do you at least love her?” Missy asked.

  “You know I do.” Tony’s voice softened and took on a gentler quality. “Look, Missy, I’m really sorry about this. I didn’t know what I wanted, but I do now. It might have taken a big wake-up call for me to realize it, but I’m in love with her.”

  Missy began to cry. Her sobs were audible throughout the lobby.

  Lexi peeked out to see what was happening. Tony embraced Missy’s heaving body. His manner seemed more caring than Lexi thought possible for him to show. The clicking of Missy’s shoes echoed in the lobby as she walked toward the exit.

  Lexi wanted to believe that Tony fathered Corrine’s baby, but she hadn’t heard anything factual to confirm that suspicion. She wanted Caleb to be off the hook so she could fully claim him for herself. Lexi could’ve distanced herself from the whole situation, which she’d tried to do. Thankfully, her attempt to leave Caribou had failed.

  If Mike hadn’t so thoroughly convinced her to stay around for just a few more days, then she wouldn’t have found Caleb when he was hurt. A pang of fear hit her. Caleb could have died had she not been there. She would’ve been the only person to blame for her own unhappiness. Even though nothing in her life had made any sense as it’d happened, maybe there was more at play than what she hadn’t understood at the time. Something was changing inside of her too, and she wondered—was it hope? She breathed in deeply with a new sense of renewal that she hadn’t allowed herself to indulge in before, and now she could begin to understand how limited her thoughts and beliefs had been. It was as if she had been shrouded in fog, and now it was lifting. Caleb loved her and needed her in his life no matter who turned out to be the father of Corrine’s baby. She remained in her own private alcove until Missy was gone and Tony disappeared inside an elevator. Once the coast was clear, Lexi ran to the elevator to head back to Caleb’s room.

  The scent of bleach stung Lexi’s nose as she stepped out of the elevator. Yellow cones lined half of the hallway as a warning of the freshly mopped floor. As Lexi entered the waiting area, she was greeted by the familiar crowd, who were all still waiting to see Caleb. Ashley gave Lexi a curious look as she sat down by her in a seafoam-green padded armchair. The whole waiting area boasted identical chairs, though some were bench-style.

  “Where did you disappear to for so long? I was about to send out a search party,” Ashley asked in a whisper.

  “I just got a little delayed. I’ll tell you later,” Lexi said. What she’d just witnessed was screaming to come out of her in any way possible, but she tried to shrug it off. The temptation to share what she’d overheard was there, but there was no certainty to it, and she wouldn’t sink to idle gossip or speculation. Too much was still on the line.

  Lexi looked up to see Mrs. Avery walking in her direction. Mrs. Avery asked Lexi to take a walk with her. Lexi stood to join Caleb’s mom. Once out of ear shot, Mrs. Avery began with polite conversation about Hale Health and the weather. She cleared her throat as her pace slowed, and she turned her head more toward Lexi. When Mrs. Avery spotted a vacant waiting area, she asked that Lexi join her to sit for a moment.

  Mrs. Avery was a petite woman with small features and was several inches shorter than Lexi. Mrs. Avery seemed the type who could make up her own mind and carry out her will. She carried herself in a manner that showed a tough and assertive side, but she also exuded warmth. She was probably a good mom.

  “Lexi, I understand that you’ve been seeing my son.” Her beautifully made-up face looked neutral but kind. H
er small nose swooped up, like a miniature ski slope.

  “Yes, but since Corrine’s accident, things have changed,” Lexi admitted. Even though Caleb seemed to be grateful for her presence, things were still uncertain. Lexi had grown accustomed to having her plans fail, and she tried not to get her hopes too high, though she was growing rather tired of her pessimistic outlook.

  “Caleb didn’t tell me anything about you,” Mrs. Avery said. She spoke in a manner that conveyed interest in her son’s hidden life.

  Lexi began to speak, but Mrs. Avery raised her hand slightly.

  “I don’t want you to think that he was keeping you secret intentionally. He’s always been more secretive than Michael.” She paused, as if to figure out how to explain herself. “Caleb has always had things weigh more on him than most people. When he was young, he was always very sensitive and considerate. This was in contrast to Michael, who was a typical boy without a care in the world. I’d first thought it was because Caleb was the older brother. Many times the older sibling develops a sense of protectiveness over their younger siblings. But he never outgrew that.” Mrs. Avery smiled as she talked about her boys.

  Lexi was at a loss of words and still didn’t know what it was Mrs. Avery was trying to share. It sounded like some kind of confession.

  “I haven’t always made the best decisions as a mother, but I’ve always tried to do what was best for my boys. I think that sometimes Caleb thought that I was a cold mother, but honestly, I didn’t know any different. Michael has always understood me more than Caleb has. Caleb’s sensitive, and my bluntness offends him.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m sure that Caleb knows that you love him,” Lexi said.

  “I do, Lexi. I love him very much, but my expression of love hasn’t always been as intense as my own emotions.” Mrs. Avery stared blankly for a moment but then returned her focus on Lexi. “Don’t give up on him. I know that his involvement with Corrine after her accident must’ve come as a shock to you, but don’t quit him yet. I may not have known about you, but I have noticed a difference in Caleb. It’s almost as if some weight has been lifted from him. I didn’t know that he could be so light and happy. You’ve changed him.” Her eyes held a teary sheen, but no tears fell.