The Christmas Sneak: Hope’s Turn Holidays

by Marie Harte

“Stop. We’re having a moment,” he insisted. “We saw an eagle. That’s magical. Don’t ruin in with your petty human complaints.”

  She blinked up at him. “What?”

  “Sorry. That was in the book I was reading. Did you know that women think shapeshifters are sexy?”

  “Um, yes. I did know that.” Random change of topic, but she’d go with it. She also left her hand in his, unable to admit to herself how much she cherished being with Deacon, having him all to herself.

  “If you were a shapeshifter, I’d peg you as a bird of some kind. An eagle or an owl.”

  “Oh, thanks.” She warmed. “Why a bird?”

  “A bird of prey,” he corrected. “Because you’re sharp and savage.”

  “Thanks a lot.”

  “But so pretty everyone stops and watches when you pass by.” He winked.

  “Oh, that was good.”

  “I try.”

  She grinned.

  “What about me? What kind of animal would I be?”

  “Hmm.” She watched him as the walked. “A bear.”

  His mouth turned down. “Not a wolf or a tiger?”

  “Nah. You lumber. You’re not sleek. You’re too big and muscular.”

  He perked up. “Oh, sure. I’m too powerful and strong for a mere wolf.” He flexed with his free arm. “Check me out.”

  “Stop.” But she did try to feel his biceps through the coat and her mitten. “Oooh, I’m so impressed.”

  He grunted. “You’re damned right.”

  They teased and continued their magical trek through the snow on a path she remembered toward the lake. Nora kept them close between the trees, conscious of the danger to be had when snow covered the ground, hiding divots and sometimes tree wells. Just last year they’d lost a skier to one, and it had been a tragic accident that might have been avoided.

  “Deacon, can I ask you a question?” she said before she could change her mind.

  “Sure.”

  No, that’s too intimate for this thing between you and me. Leave it alone. Smart Nora had the best advice. Except risk-taker Nora spoke before she could censor herself. “Why did you and Rhonda break up? I know it’s not my business, but I just can’t figure it out.” She glanced up him with curiosity. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me, but…”

  “But you’ll hound me until you know?” he asked, his smile apparent though she noted a flicker of sadness in his eyes.

  They stopped walking at the edge of the lake, where a wooden deck extended into the frozen water. There they mutually parted hands, watching each other and the lake, which seemed to move as the loose snow covering the ice shifted with a gentle wind.

  “Do you miss her?”

  “Rhonda? Hell no.” His adamant refusal relieved her. “I miss what I thought we had. And I wish she hadn’t done what she did to me. She’s the reason I have a lot of trust issues.” He sighed. “I’m not blameless in our relationship failing, but I always tried to treat her with respect. Until the end, then… I just wanted her gone.”

  Nora had no right to pry into his private life. She started to feel bad, not wanting to ruin the magical moments they had left of their time at the cabin. But for some reason, it had felt okay to speak up. “I’m sorry I asked.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  He gave her a real smile. “That’s what I like about you, Nora. You’re honest. Sometimes to a fault, but I know where I stand with you.”

  I wish I could say the same, but I have no idea what our relationship is. She cleared her throat. “Well?”

  “Fine. I’ll tell you all the gory details.” His eyes narrowed. “Then I get to pry into your personal life.”

  “I have nothing to hide.” Sadly, she didn’t.

  “Okay, the whole story… You sure you want to hear this?” At her nod, he continued. “I was a star in the pros. I knew I was good. I had women throwing themselves at me. Not to sound conceited, but that’s kind of how it goes when you make the draft and go from backup quarterback to starting in a year. Plus, I’d never had a problem with women, even back in high school.”

  She frowned. “You wouldn’t.”

  He sighed. “It’s not as great as it sounds. In school, I was popular with sports and grades, and the girls liked me. But I used to wonder if they’d like me if I hadn’t captained the football or basketball teams.”

  “Wait. Basketball too?”

  “I was great at baseball as well, but I tried to use the spring season to focus on football.”

  “Geez. I was president of the debate club and played a few seasons of lacrosse, but nothing serious.”

  He smiled. “I can totally see you as the debate queen.”

  She fake-fluffed her hat-covered hair. “I’ll take queen. More like debate dictator, but queen sounds nicer.” She liked that he relaxed more, because she knew the subject of his marriage still hurt.

  “Anyway, I dated my share. But I was always honest, not a player or a cheat. I was so devoted to my career that dating took a backseat to the game. Then a few friends married, and I thought it was time for me to get serious about more than football. Rhonda seemed nice, not too into me, so I had to work harder to get her.” He made a face. “I know that sounds terrible. But playing hard to get works sometimes.”

  “Until you get what you thought you wanted, and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

  “You got that right.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and faced the water, looking off into the distance. “We dated for a year, and she continued to model, so she wasn’t always around. I ignored the caution at the back of my mind, telling myself that her coolness was just a part of her. That she loved my support that let her quit her job and stay home. That she loved me for more than the presents and the trips and the lavish lifestyle.”

  She didn’t speak, feeling compassion for a man who’d wanted more.

  “I’m not a homebody like Mitch. I liked the parties and the wild life at first. But then I just wanted to spend time with my wife. I wanted kids.” He shook his head. “I married her and hurt my arm soon after. That injury was a disaster.” He rotated his right shoulder and winced. “It still gives me problems when it’s cold. But what really killed me was having to leave the game. I thought I had Rhonda, my friends, family. I didn’t.”

  She tugged his jacket. “Deacon, you don’t have to say anymore.”

  “No, I want to tell you.” He turned and looked at her. “Rhonda pulled away. I was miserable, and maybe I didn’t pay her enough attention. Maybe I held onto the hope I’d return to the game too long. But she was cheating on me, and it hurt. I had my pride, you know? I ignored the tabloids and the rumors for a while. I started drinking to ignore everything. I had so much still going for me, but I couldn’t see it.

  “I turned down opportunities for sponsorships and broadcasting after my injury, because if I couldn’t play the game, why bother?”

  “Ouch.”

  “Yeah, I was really lost for a while. Then it got worse, because when Rhonda found out I’d deliberately turned away money, she flaunted her affairs—plural. Then she filed for divorce, I guess to shock me. When I agreed, she grew livid.”

  “What? You were supposed to stay with her while she screwed around on you?” Incensed on his behalf, Nora glared. “What a bitch.”

  “That’s what Mitch said.” He gave a ghost of a smile. “My mom too. Oh man, you should have heard her go off on Rhonda.” Deacon sighed. “It took three years for the divorce to go through. And I was a basket case. I refused therapy, because the physical therapy wasn’t helping the way I thought it should, and the mental stuff was for people who needed it. Not me.” He snorted. “Hell, I was lying to everyone. I kept partying and drinking, hanging out with people who used me for anything they could. I didn’t tell my family how bad I felt. And I…” He cleared his throat. “I wasn’t in a good place. Roy kept nagging me to visit him, to get away from it all.”

  “So you
came here, to Hope’s Turn.”

  “I was at the end of my rope. My attorneys were great but costing me a ton. Then I found out I had to pay for Rhonda’s debts—and we’re talking in the millions of dollars, here.”

  “Holy shit.”

  He nodded. “The only good thing to come from her leaving was that she quickly hooked up with another player and wanted to get married. So I got off, I guess you could say, with no spousal support. Just the millions to pay for her mansion, jewelry, and lifestyle.” He shrugged. “I finally had a clean break and no life worth living.” He quickly added, “Or so I thought. Mitch and my parents didn’t know how bad I was, mentally, until I was on the road to recovery thanks to Roy. And thanks to Hope’s Turn.”

  He smiled down at her, and something inside her melted, reaching out to him. “This town healed me. It let me feel like I was worth something again, you know?”

  She nodded.

  “But it took a while living here before I felt comfortable to go out and date again. Nora, believe it or not, I went for nearly two years without having sex with anyone.”

  “Seriously?” She gaped. “But you’re so…”

  “Sexual? Yeah. Rhonda fucked me up,” he said bluntly.

  “Wow. She sure did.”

  “Then I made some friends. Nothing serious, but we’d hook up, and I felt better about women. But I was seriously hating for a while. It wasn’t right, and I felt bad about being so angry, but I couldn’t help it.”

  “You really hated women?” She thought about it. “Although, I understand. I’ve gone through more than a few man-hating phases. Guys can be dogs.”

  “Yeah, well so can women.”

  She nodded. “I hear you.”

  “Uh-huh.” He blew out a breath. “Anyway, I’m on the mend, and then my little brother blows into town. Women are all over the guy. And that spills over to me.”

  “And then he meets Becca.”

  Deacon smiled, and the expression turned him from handsome to beautiful, the joy in his eyes lighting up his face. “He fell in love. When the great Flash was off the market, women started looking at me.”

  “So you dated the entire town of Hope’s Turn.” She nodded, still nursing the bit of hurt that he’d blown her off.

  “Not all of the town,” he said. “The one woman who made me sweaty and nervous as hell seemed not to like me much. Then she kept trying to get me to help her trick my brother into dating Becca.”

  Me. He means I made him sweaty and nervous. “Wait. What?”

  He nodded. “I’ve thought about it a lot. That date we had. It was great. And I got…”

  “Scared?”

  “Not exactly. More like—”

  “Terrified? Shaken? Knocked on your ass?”

  He frowned. “No. More like I was uneasy.”

  She snorted. “Scared.”

  “Who is telling this story?”

  “Fine, fine.” She waved him to continue. “Go on.”

  He continued to frown. “After our date, I left for business and let myself forget about you for a little while. My life was easy, fun. Not filled with angst or nerves. And so, well, maybe I wasn’t as nice to you as I should have been.”

  Nora, not the most delicate of listeners, poked him in the chest. “Maybe?”

  “Fuck. Okay, I’m sorry! I was a dick, and I was scared,” he growled. “Happy now?”

  “Actually…yes.”

  He blinked. “Really?”

  Chapter 13

  Really? Deacon had laid his heart on the line for her, telling her the truth about being a huge loser and how terrible his life choices had been, and she was glad to hear it? Was he still that bad a judge of character?

  “I’m happy you finally gave me a sincere apology,” Nora explained, looking way too cute in her red hat and coat with those snowflake mittens and matching boots. “I knew I’d scared you.”

  “Oh, is that right?” He felt defensive and didn’t like it.

  “Because you scared me too, moron.”

  He didn’t like being called a moron, but he’d refrain from judgement until she explained.

  “You’re good looking, a pro athlete, and larger than life in our town. All the woman were gaga over you, and you lorded it over everyone.”

  “I did not.”

  She shrugged. “I thought you did. It didn’t help that I found you pretty sexy.”

  “Oh, well. That’s okay then.” He smiled.

  “It’s not,” she snapped, “because after you seemed to be so different than the rest of the man-children in this town, you ended up being worse than all of them.”

  His smile faded. “Nora?”

  “I’m sorry. I guess I’m still mad about you ghosting me. Deacon, that hurt. I thought we were friends. We had a great time out. I really liked you, and you burned me.’

  “I know.” He groaned. “I suck. I told you that.”

  “Yes, you did. But you can see why it’s hard to open up again. I mean, you told a very similar story, having trust issues, with the ex who will not be named.”

  “I like that. Not be named. She’s not important anymore.” He nodded.

  “But she is still important, or you wouldn’t have been so dismissive with me.” Nora watched him.

  The conversation seemed to be heading in a bad direction. Deacon knew the signs.

  “You’re right.” His agreement seemed to nonplus her, because she blinked up at him, startled. “I’m still carrying around the scars carved into me by someone I’d loved. I’m sorry you had to bear the brunt of her actions.”

  “Oh, well.” Nora blushed. “I understand.”

  “Do you?” Time for her life story. “Your turn. Why are you so…” Careful, Deacon. “Wary around men? Or is it just me?”

  She groaned. “I have to confess my dirty secrets since you did the same.”

  “Yep.”

  “Well, it’s not that big a deal. My life isn’t nearly as dramatic as yours has been.” She sighed. “It’s kind of boring, to be honest. I grew up here. I have great parents, and I dated my share of boys. Then I went to college and dated my share of men. No one seemed to stick. It’s like I’d find guys I liked. We had things in common, then things would eventually fizzle out.”

  He let her talk, feeling the frustration she didn’t quite name.

  “Becca got married and had a baby. She found love with an amazing man.” Nora turned toward him with a sweet smile. “Neal was a great guy. He loved Becca so much; you could see it when they were together. My parents have that. And it’s what I’ve always wanted. Yeah, I love my career, and I’m a different person than the naïve young girl who wanted to get married and have babies. But deep down, I still want to find someone special.”

  He had the feeling she was a lot more like that naïve young girl than she wanted to admit.

  “Neal died, and Becca lost it. It was so sad. Neal was like a brother, and we all grieved his loss. But again, it was Becca’s husband. Becca’s family. Becca’s son who needed his aunt. I guess I felt like I never measured up to my larger-than-life cousin. She’s amazing and beautiful.”

  “So are you.”

  Nora shook her head. “I’m not saying that so you’ll compliment me.”

  “I’m not saying anything but the truth. Yeah, Becca’s great. You’re prettier than she is.”

  Nora blinked. “Oh.” She blushed and glanced back at the lake. “Anyway, life just kept moving. I dated here and there, but this is a small town. A while ago, I spent some time away in Portland on a special project and met a guy.”

  Her voice had deepened, and he knew this particular guy had meant something to her.

  “Flynn and I fell hard for each other in less than a week. I never told anyone this, and you have to swear you won’t ever tell.”

  He crossed his heart. “Nora, I told you things I’ve never told anyone. Not even Roy.”

  She studied him and nodded. “Okay, well, Flynn and I were engaged.”

 
A hollow feeling settled in his belly. “Oh?”

  “For all of three weeks. I was so excited. I felt like I’d finally found my soulmate.”

  “When was this?”

  “About two years ago.” Nora looked at him once more, her smile sad. “But the engagement was a mistake. We both knew it, but we wanted the same thing. We were tired of dating and wanted to find someone and settle down.”

  “How did you know it was a mistake?”

  “We actually talked about what we wanted to do after the wedding. And things started to fall apart right there. I wanted a small wedding with my family and friends. He wanted a big destination wedding. Then he wanted to travel the world and live in a van while we wrote a travel blog.” She crossed her eyes, making him laugh. “I don’t mind travel, but I’m not living in a van for twelve months. Nope.”

  “What did you want?”

  “It’s stupid.”

  “Tell me.” Intrigued, he waited.

  She watched him, as if gauging for a reaction. “I wanted to get married and have kids. We’d live here in Hope’s Turn, where I’d continued to write my book and work on editorial pieces. And he’d work in town doing freelance writing. We could make it work. I know we could have.” She shrugged. “But he didn’t want to have children right away. I’d just hit thirty-three, and my biological clock was ticking so hard it was about to explode.” She grinned. “I think that might have scared him.”

  It doesn’t scare me. The thought took him aback. Was he really that ready for children and a family? To settle down with one woman who could so easily turn the tables and screw him over whenever she felt like it? His heart hammered, and he wondered why he continued to worry about a future that might never happen.

  “You okay? It’s no big deal, Deacon. I’m over it all.”

  “Are you?” He stopped her when she would have protested. “Because I’m realizing that Rhonda left her mark. And I’m thinking this Flynn guy left one too.”

  “He wasn’t that important, to be honest.” She looked thoughtful. “But maybe what he represented is what still hurts. I wanted to marry him so bad…but I never told my mom or dad about him. Becca had no idea I was dating him either. It was like he was my little secret, my own man, my own love.”