"Saturday." She just seemed confused, but I didn't want her to meekly decline this particular suggestion.
"Great," I said as though it was mutually agreed. "Here's what we do. Make yourself look good — make-up, perfume, some nice clothes, really do it right. Then I'll come by at say... nine o'clock? We'll go to Johnny's. If it's lousy, we'll try some place else."
"Okay..."
"And I'll show you five guys who'd want to ask you out."
She was laughing, but there was a light in her eyes that I hadn't seen for a very long time.
"Okay," she said, "you can pick me up next Saturday at nine. But if it doesn't work..."
"Then we'll get drunk and have a fun night anyway — and I'll pay," I said. Part of me was silently warning against this, against the risk of getting entangled in Heidi all over again. But it was kind of fascinating to me. I wanted to make her see that if she made the effort, guys would come flocking.
Maybe I even wanted some guy to ask her out, and have her accept.
Yet strangely, it wasn't just so that I could absolve myself of the guilt of dumping her. I thought about Heidi dolling herself up, and of other guys at the nightclub trying to chat her up, and it actually made me feel oddly good about her again.
"Do it," I said, feeling unexpectedly energized, feeling as though I didn't want to take any excuses from this girl now, feeling as though I could control her and show her directly that she could make herself happy in this way. "Saturday evening — take a nice, long shower, shave your legs, put some fancy underwear on, a nice little dress... brush your hair... put on some make-up, perfume..."
"And maybe some shoes, too?" she said, teasing me about this great long list of instructions as she headed for my door.
"If you must," I said, a little stoked by the realization that she actually seemed to be willing to do this, to do exactly as I told her.
"Fancy underwear?" she asked as I opened the door for her.
"Who knows — maybe you'll get lucky," I shrugged. It gave me a weird little buzz to be telling her to wear sexy underwear in the hope of sleeping with some stranger we might meet at Johnny's.
She said, "Okay. Don't be late — I'll just assume you're not coming, so..."
"I won't be late," I declared, and had every intention of keeping my word. I didn't like the hint of sadness that crept back into her voice — the pessimist in her imagining that I wasn't serious about this adventure planned for next week.
I stopped her just as she started walking away toward the elevator.
"Hey," I said, and she looked pleased that I'd stopped her. Pleased and a little hopeful. "Look, if you ever need to talk... you know... if you're feeling crappy... you should just stop by. Any time."
She smiled, grateful. "Maybe," she said. "But I promise not to overdo it on the whole misery thing. This time."
I nodded. "Listen. The code on the door is 6402. If I'm not home and you just need to escape... just drop by, okay?"
"I will. Thanks, Joe. For everything."
She stepped into the elevator, and the doors closed. I suddenly wondered if my last-minute offer might encourage the same kind of relationship as we'd had before — with me acting as merely her therapist, rather than a boyfriend or husband.
But then I figured I just had to be careful — and I had to cheer her up, distract her rather than allow her to wallow in her problems. I had given her Saturday as something to look forward to, and with that kind of light at the end of the tunnel, her mood could be lifted.
Settling down in my apartment again, I was actually excited about the thought of taking her out the following Saturday. And in fact, I couldn't stop thinking about it all week. It wasn't a date, at least between us, and yet I was buzzing as though it was. I honestly didn't plan for it to turn into a second phase for our relationship — I was fascinated by the idea that we could get out there, and I could help her to find her next relationship.
I assumed I must have some cupid genes, some matchmaking aspect to my character that had hitherto gone unnoticed.
And as the following Saturday approached, my manhood was rock hard in my pants at the thought of Heidi showering, dolling herself up, finding her best bra and panties, a nice seductive dress, all for the purposes of finding some new guy who wasn't me.
How bizarre was that?
Chapter Three
The following Saturday, five to nine. I wasn't going to let her get out of this now — I was on time, so she had no excuse not to come out to Johnny's to try this funny little plan of mine.
My heart was pounding, my hands were a little clammy. I was nervous as I stood outside her door — our door, it still felt like — waiting to see how she would respond to my instructions.
Then the door opened, and Heidi was there in a little black dress, her hair nicely straight and flowing down her back, her perfume sweet and not her usual choice, her make-up as if she'd had it professionally done. Her look was so different than anything I'd seen before on her, it made me wonder if she hadn't been reading magazine articles on applying make-up since she'd left my place.
"Wow," I said, and I wasn't just flattering for the sake of it. For the first time in a long time, I was reminded of my crush on her. "Just, wow."
I won't say girl-next-door had become movie star, but staid librarian had certainly become office hottie.
"Okay," she said, "I did my best."
"You look amazing!"
She gave me a twirl. Her dress dropped down to just above her knees, which was short for Heidi. It was flattering on her, though she stood a little awkwardly in it and the high-heeled black shoes she also had on. The thin straps hung from her shoulders as though a few careless glances might cut them and send the dress tumbling to the floor. And she was wearing a push-up bra, which gave her chest a nice shape under the dress.
She'd never looked like this for me — I might have eaten her up. But now wasn't the time for regrets. I was still fixated on this idea of finding some other guy for her.
"I'm not sure about the fancy underwear," she said, and lifted the hem of her dress until she exposed a pair of black panties that had a little lace here and there, and a little black bow on top, but were otherwise fairly plain. Not exactly what you'd describe as sexy lingerie, but pretty nice for Heidi.
It was kind of a curious thrill for this girl to be showing me her panties, under the pretext of potentially luring another guy to get inside them. I suppose she had been my wife, I was familiar with her. But now that our marriage had been annulled... could I even call her my ex-wife? She was just my ex.
"Very nice," I said. "They'll do for starters."
She blushed faintly, but clutched her little bag and accepted my hand in invitation to step out with me, for the taxi ride over to Johnny's, a bar-nightclub on the river, just down from Temple. Hardly the classiest night out around, but had always seemed fairly safe to me.
Baby steps for Heidi, I thought. This might have to be a gradual process. If I could get her talking to a few guys, that would be a good start. I needed to build her self-confidence to break her out of this rut she'd found herself in.
Not long after nine-thirty was still a little on the early side for Johnny's. Nevertheless, we found ourselves a little table and started on the cocktails, and I think Heidi was just happy enough to be out and spending time socially with someone. Every now and then, I did see guys glance her way. There weren't many to choose from just yet.
"Look, that guy over there."
"You don't have to lie, you know," she said.
"I'm not. I swear, that guy was totally checking you out."
"I think I need a few more drinks."
As ten o'clock rolled on, one blond-haired guy even strolled on over to talk to Heidi. She brightened as she saw him head her way — then the luster faded from her eyes as she appeared to recognize him.
"I thought it was you," he said, beaming brightly.
"You know..." she shrugged.
"You think they'll get
Crabtree to conduct next week? I heard he's in town..." I almost rolled my eyes at the guy's approach.
"Could be, could be..."
There was a long, highly awkward pause. It made me feel like this whole project of ours was not going to work so brilliantly if we only found orchestra guys for Heidi to talk to.
"Well... hey, great seeing you."
"You, too."
I was trying not to make obvious expressions at Heidi as this was happening, but as he left, I heaved a huge sigh and said, "Well, he was clearly into you."
Heidi laughed. "He's with the orchestra. There is no way on Earth I am going to sleep with him."
"Okay," I nodded, and checked an invisible name off an invisible list. "So. No orchestra guys."
The place seemed to get busier around 10:30, nicely lively by about eleven. By then, our early start was beginning to pay dividends. All the cocktails that had been flowing through us meant Heidi seemed to be relaxing and loosening up.
We wandered through the crowd to the bar to get some more drinks — abandoning our table, since it seemed to me more of a barrier to guys approaching Heidi than anything — and I did see guys glancing at her. Yet Heidi seemed to be doing her best to hide behind me, keeping close as though we were a couple.
Drinks in hand, I said, "Okay, we're gonna have to separate here. People will think you're taken."
She gave me a nervous smile, understanding, but probably wishing she didn't have to do this.
I turned, said, "Just act as though we're not here together."
"Okay..."
I took a step away, and it seemed as though I was with other people, and Heidi was on her own by the bar. She looked like a young deer separated from her herd — timid, uncertain, vulnerable.
She looked down at her drink, and when a couple of guys along the other end of the bar glanced her way and smiled, she simply shied away from them, turned her head, giving them the cold shoulder.
It happened a few times. It was the pessimist Heidi closing the door on her opportunities before they even really arose. I found myself a little annoyed, but then checked myself. What had I really been expecting? To drop her in the deep end and see her suddenly become some man-eating vamp?
"Okay," I said just loud enough for her to hear, though trying to avoid giving any clues to witnesses that I knew her. "Leave your drink with me. Go over there and stand next to that guy."
"That guy? The guy with the blue shirt?"
"The guy with the blue shirt. Stand next to him like you need to order a drink for yourself."
"And..."
"And if he tries to speak to you, smile and talk back." It was the basics, but Heidi seemed to need a little prod.
She nodded, uncertainly.
I said, a little more firmly — and probably unfairly, too, "There's no point if you're not going to give it a try. I might as well just head home..."
"No — " she interrupted my vague threat. "I'll do it. I just... I need to be ready for it."
She took a big gulp of her drink, and slid the glass along the bar toward me. I don't know... I was a trifle surprised she was so willing to do what I told her like this. I was impressed at her courage, too. But deep down, I realized that the threat of me going home, of ending our little night out before it really got going, hit her hard. If I left, she'd go home too, and her roommates obviously weren't the types to force her to go out and socialize, to break the gloom that had fixed on her since our break-up.
I had a certain power over her in this. I was an odd feeling, but I felt I needed to take advantage of it if I wanted to push Heidi into moving on with her life.
"And smile at him," I told her just before she moved away to embark on her mission. "Smile a lot."
She moved around a few people, then glided into place next to the guy who had been waiting to be served for a while. It took a few moments of her standing forlornly, apparently attempting to catch the eye of the bartender. Then, a little nervous glance at the guy next to her, and for a moment I was thinking what a disaster this could prove to be if the guys in this bar were not going to play ball — if they were as nervous as she was.
But this was Johnny's. It was supposed to be a meat market.
Finally, the guy smiled at her, and Heidi returned his smile.
"Hey, can I get you a drink?"
Now she flashed her eyes at me, mildly astonished, but then immediately turned her gaze back to the short but friendly-looking guy in the blue shirt.
"Oh... uh, sure..." she said. "Margarita?"
He duly procured it for her, and I stepped back to watch as subtly as I possibly could. I was excited for her, and it seemed to me I was sharing in some of the buzz of having someone flirting with her. I'm not quite sure why it felt so good for me.
"So I haven't seen you 'round here before," he said, loudly to be heard over the music from the dance floor. Loud enough that I could hear.
"Oh, I just... I don't usually go out too much."
"Special occasion?"
"I don't know... I just split up with my... my ex..."
He raised his eyebrows. "Seriously? The guy must be insane..."
Heidi blushed, and glanced over at me again. She was loving the attention. And as well as loving being right that guys would be interested in her, I was loving their attention on her as well.
After a while the guy asked if Heidi would like to go find a table, and she politely declined, saying as nicely as she could that she was supposed to be meeting a friend right about now. The guy shrugged his shoulders and nodded, wishing her a good night before fleeing the scene.
"What was that?" I complained as the coast became clear. "He wanted you to go with him, get a table."
"I don't know," she scrunched up her face briefly, but then shot me an ear-to-ear grin. She was delighted at what had happened, even if the guy himself wasn't what she wanted.
"You see? You put a bit of effort in, guys are falling over themselves to talk to you."
"I wouldn't say falling over themselves... Anyway, the bet was that five guys would show interest, right? If I accepted the first invitation that came my way..."
"Okay," I chuckled. "We amend the bet. Five guys hit on you, but if you go for someone before five have come along..."
"Well, I doubt it'll come to that..."
It wasn't long, though, before another fairly short guy came along and tried his luck with her. I suppose Heidi wasn't so tall herself, which gave shorter guys a little hope. Whatever, she was lapping up the interest. It made me feel all warm inside to see her confidence boosted.
And deep inside, I did want her to succeed. I wanted her to get laid. I couldn't explain why, but it was a thrill even to think that it might happen. Why would such an altruistic approach to Heidi get me all fired up as well? I couldn't understand it.
I was even a little jealous, seeing her all dolled up and flirting with other guys, and as the night wore on, dancing with them. And yet I still wanted one of them to invite her back to his place, and for Heidi to accept.
I think there was something in my perception of Heidi as a fairly quiet type — mild and conservative, not much of a party animal. She had a purity I wanted to see corrupted.
Guy number three danced a couple of numbers with her before she begged off and returned to me. Then guy number four seemed to get very close to her on the dance floor — holding her, his arms encircling her at one point — but then he failed as well, and she was back with me, being teased about losing her bet very soon.
"So wait..." she said, sipping yet another margarita. "What do you get if you win the bet?"
I grinned. "I get the pleasure of seeing you happy for once."
She laughed. "I can be happy! It doesn't take a bunch of guys hitting on me."
"No, but it helps, right? You can see that they really are interested in you."
"It's all this make-up. And probably this bra."
"Who cares? They want you, not just a bunch of make-up and underwear. And prett
y soon, I'm sure number five will be coming along..."
"Okay," she beamed. "So what do you want... you know... if you win the bet?"
"Okay..." I thought for a moment or two. Then I felt that odd surge of power flowing through my veins. I said, "When number five comes along... if you find him even the least bit attractive, you have to dance with him and if he seems like he wants to, you have to make out with him."
Heidi laughed. "This seems like kindergarten again, and we're playing kiss chase."
"That's the bet," I insisted, then backed away from her to show the room that she was single and not with me.
She wandered the fringes of the dance floor for all of three minutes before Guy Number Five appeared. And he was, by any objective standards, a good-looking guy; fairly tall, too. Heidi glanced over at me, perched on a bar stool within easy eye-sight, raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth as though shocked.
I returned some kind of encouraging expression and watched as the athletic-looking guy escorted Heidi out onto the dance floor. She put her arms around his shoulders and began swaying to the slow music, and each time they turned and she was looking over his shoulders at me, she would be catching my eye and it would appear, trying to make me jealous.
I just smiled and applauded, encouraging her. I wanted to see her make out with him, I wanted to see her go home with him. It wasn't just the prospect of my guilt evaporating. The thought of this guy bedding her genuinely seemed to turn me on.
And yet conversely, all this male attention on her, and the idea that she might really do something with this Guy Number 5, made me actually desire her.
They were holding each other close, murmuring into each other's ears. Smiling at each other's jokes. Gazing into each other's eyes. My heart was pounding. I was willing them to do it.
"Hey, would you care to dance?"
I looked up. A pretty blonde in a red dress was standing there offering her arm.
Jesus.
She reminded me of Suzi. Oh, how I would have gone for her if she'd come along a month, a week, even a day ago. I didn't get asked to dance by women, this was not the kind of opportunity a guy should pass up.
Heidi, Corrupted (An Ex-Wife Sharing Romance) Page 3