Amish Weddings

by Leslie Gould

  “Good news,” the nurse said. “The steroid shots worked. Her lungs are all right.”

  Rose sank against the chair in relief.

  “This way,” the nurse said as she led the way. They passed other babies in the tiny warming beds. Then they passed a woman, also in a wheelchair, wearing a gown and bathrobe too, holding a tiny Bobbli. A man stood behind her.

  Rose realized, with all of them wearing the blue gowns, that maybe they weren’t so obviously Amish. But then, by the way the woman and man stared at them, she smiled a little and figured they still were.

  “She’s right here,” the nurse said. “We’ll get you transferred to the rocking chair, and then you can hold her. We’ll see if she’ll nurse. If not, we’ll show you how to pump. She’ll need your colostrum.”

  Rose had read about that.

  “Have you named her?” the nurse asked.

  “Abra Elizabeth,” Rose answered. “We’ll call her Abrie.”

  “Great,” the nurse said. “We’ll fill out the birth certificate. We’ll need your signature. Then we’ll get it filed.”

  “Do I need to put the father on the certificate?” Rose asked. It was a question she’d wondered about but had thought she still had time to figure it out.

  “No,” the nurse said. “It’s entirely up to you.” Rose didn’t sense any judgment in the woman’s voice. Dat frowned, which surprised her—but she didn’t have the energy to ask what he was thinking.

  Rose could see the Bobbli now. She wore a diaper, but that was all—except for the tubes and wires hooked up to her. Once Rose was transferred to the rocking chair, the nurse wrapped the Bobbli in a blanket and placed her in Rose’s arms. The tubes and wires were long enough to allow for that. The blanket was warm and the Bobbli incredibly light. Rose bent her head down and whispered, “Hello, Abrie.”

  The Bobbli looked up, her eyes bright.

  “How much does she weigh?” Rose asked.

  “Four pounds one ounce. She’s a good size,” the nurse said. “And she’s eighteen inches long. She’s been on an IV to hydrate her so she won’t be hungry, but maybe she’ll still nurse—it all depends on how developed her sucking reflex is.” The nurse placed a pillow on Rose’s lap, which helped support the Bobbli.

  Lila and Beth both stepped closer. “Ah, she’s so beautiful,” Beth said. Then she turned toward Dat, “Come on, Tim.”

  Dat stepped closer too. “She’s so tiny. I didn’t know a Bobbli could be so small.”

  They all hovered over the little one, speaking to her and to each other. Soon she started to root against Rose’s chest.

  “That’s a good sign,” Dat said. “Perhaps I should leave.”

  “Good grief,” Beth said, “you’re a dairy farmer.”

  Dat nodded. “But Rose might mind.”

  “Dat,” she said, “that’s the least of my worries.”

  “I’ll help you,” the nurse said. She pulled open Rose’s gown and helped move the Bobbli closer. She rooted around more and then latched on. Rose gazed down at her. It all felt so much more natural than she’d expected it to.

  “Oh, you’re doing great,” Beth said.

  Lila sat down in Rose’s wheelchair.

  Rose couldn’t take her eyes off her Bobbli. She’d never felt such love. Lila rolled the wheelchair closer. “She’s wonderful,” Lila said. “I never imagined feeling this way. I can’t even imagine what this is like for you, Rosey.”

  It had been so long since Lila had called her that. And there was no bitterness in her voice at all. No jealousy. Only joy.

  The nurse explained that it was a good sign that the baby could suck. “That reflex doesn’t usually kick in until thirty-four or thirty-five weeks.”

  Rose still couldn’t take her eyes off the baby.

  “We’ll need to regulate her temperature until she can do that herself. And make sure she’s gaining weight. She’ll be in here for a few weeks.”

  Rose was too enthralled to answer.

  “You’ll need to make sure you take care of yourself too. You’ve just been through major surgery. You need to eat well and get a lot of rest so you can feed this baby.”

  “We’ll make sure she does.” Lila reached forward and put her hand on Rose’s leg.

  Something beeped, and the nurse said she’d be right back.

  “What are you thinking?” Beth asked in a low voice.

  Rose thought she was asking her, but when she glanced up, to her relief, Beth was addressing Dat.

  He sighed. “I just got a glimpse of the past that I’d never really thought about, that I wasn’t part of.”

  Beth stepped to his side. “What’s that?”

  Dat’s gaze fell on Lila. “What it was like for your Mamm when you and Daniel were born. Your Mamm was much stronger than I ever gave her credit for. You take after her.” Then he turned to Rose. “And so do you. Don’t either of you ever forget it.”

  Beth clasped her hands together but didn’t say anything more.

  Finally Dat did though. “It’s amazing, isn’t it, how the Lord brings healing. This Bobbli wasn’t started the right way, but God will continue to use her to work his good. Just as he uses all of us.”

  Lila stood then, and with one hand on her cane, she wrapped her other one around Dat. He helped balance her as she hugged him.

  Rose’s watery eyes fell back on Abrie. She’d tell her about her father someday—but not today. She was grateful now that Trevor had never returned her phone calls, that he never came back to Lancaster County. It was for the best she didn’t call him again. Dat had been right.

  She wouldn’t put Trevor’s name on the birth certificate. There was no reason for Abrie to have the last name of Anderson if Trevor wasn’t going to be in her life. Her name would be Abra Elizabeth Lehman. She breathed a sigh of relief, knowing it was settled. She’d never been so sure of anything in all of her life.

  “What are you thinking?” Rose asked Lila, as her sister settled back down in the wheelchair.

  “That I’m blessed to be Abrie’s Aenti.” She exhaled. “And that it’s time for me to marry Zane. Even if we can’t have children, we will still be a family. Just like you and this little one are a family, even now. I need to trust God with this.”

  26

  The June rain clouds threatened as Reuben walked slowly from where he’d parked his buggy toward the Lehmans’ house. He hadn’t seen Rose since she’d given birth over a month ago. The Bobbli had come home the week before, and it sounded as if everything was going well.

  Reuben had deliberately stayed away, but Tim had asked him to stop by and help finish their basement to make the space usable for Lila and Zane’s wedding. They’d finally set a date for mid-July. A month away.

  The rain started as Reuben headed up the steps and knocked on the back door. He was surprised when Rose answered it, holding the Bobbli against her shoulder.

  “Reuben,” she said. “Come in from the rain.” She nodded toward the kitchen. “How have you been?”

  “Fine,” he answered, taking off his hat and hanging it on a peg in the mudroom. “How are you?” He stepped into the kitchen.

  “Gut,” she answered. Her eyes were bright, and her face was a little flushed. It was a warm day.

  “How’s the Bobbli?” he asked.

  “Doing well,” Rose said. “She’s gaining weight and hitting her developmental markers. Considering she shouldn’t even be born yet, she’s doing great.” Rose shifted the Bobbli from her shoulder to her arms with ease.

  The little one had her eyes closed. She was tiny but had a head full of dark hair and a little indentation in her cheek. A dimple. A pain shot through Reuben’s chest. He wished he hadn’t come, but he couldn’t turn around now.

  “Denki for the flowers you brought to the hospital,” Rose said. “That was thoughtful. It meant a lot.”

  He nodded, afraid to say anything more. Without responding or commenting on the Bobbli, he excused himself and headed to the basement. He
wasn’t sure if he should have taken the flowers or not, but he wanted to truly forgive Rose, to feel his forgiveness inside, and somehow he felt the gesture would help. Thankfully it had. He hadn’t felt resentful of her since that night—even though his heart still hurt when he saw her.

  “Tim?” he called out as he reached the bottom stair.

  Trudy answered, “We’re back here!”

  Reuben headed toward her voice and found Trudy holding the frame of a wall. Reuben stepped to her side.

  “Are you ready to take over?” she asked. “Because Dat’s getting a little tired of me not knowing what to do to help.”

  “No,” Tim said, “you were doing fine. Really.” He winked at Reuben.

  “I’ll go play with Abrie,” Trudy said.

  “Play?” Tim asked. “Is she doing that already?”

  “You know what I mean,” she answered.

  “You’re going to go play she’s a doll?”

  “Jah. Something like that.” Trudy grinned and waved good-bye as she skipped back through the basement.

  Reuben was surprised at how relaxed everyone seemed. He’d seen the stress and chaos of the Lehman house many times before. He was surprised it wasn’t that way now.

  Tim hadn’t worked at the lumberyard for a few months. Reuben had missed the man’s company and his expertise, but he was busy with his farm now and working on converting the Becks’ barn. Soon he and Zane would expand the dairy herd.

  “I should have done this basement work years ago.” Tim shook his head. “Aside from needing the space for special occasions, we were all so cramped upstairs. We could have used the extra room.”

  “What all do you plan to do?” Reuben asked.

  “Wall in the big area down here. Put in a stove over there, a sink, and a counter. We can set up the tables down here if the weather isn’t good on the day of the wedding.”

  “Can Lila make it up and down the stairs?” Reuben asked.

  “I’ve cleaned up the outdoor stairs,” Tim said. “We’ll use those. They’re not as steep.” He stepped back toward the frame. “She’s doing better. She’s gained more mobility in the last month, and she hopes to get rid of the cane soon so she will be able to carry Abrie.”

  Reuben smiled a little. It seemed both of the older Lehman girls were doing better.

  A couple of hours later, Reuben went up to the kitchen to get two glasses of water. Lila and Beth sat at the table and Trudy stood at the window, holding the Bobbli. Rose was nowhere in sight. He expected that she was napping— after all she was less than a month past major surgery—but a minute later she came in with a basket of peas and radishes.

  “Are you and Dat ready for a snack?” she asked Reuben. “And some coffee?”

  “Maybe in a little bit.” He quickly retreated to the basement.

  They had worked for another half hour when Reuben heard a vehicle across the gravel outside. “Are you expecting anyone?” Reuben asked.

  Tim shook his head. “No, but it’s probably Shani. She stops by once a day or so to check on Rose and the Bobbli.”

  Reuben didn’t hear anything more, but a few minutes later, footsteps fell on the stairs.

  “Tim?” It was Beth. Tim put down his hammer and headed toward her. Reuben hesitated but then followed.

  “Trevor’s here.” Beth’s voice was low. “Rose wants you.”

  Tim paused for a moment but then took the stairs two at a time while Reuben froze. Trevor was the last person in the world Reuben wanted to see, and he decided to stay in the basement. But then Beth said, “Would you come up? Your presence might help keep . . . a balance.”

  Reuben couldn’t imagine what help he could be, but Tim was his friend. He wouldn’t abandon him now. He followed Beth up to the kitchen.

  Trevor stood on the mud porch, his T-shirt sprinkled with raindrops, facing Rose. Lila still sat at the table, and Trudy was in the archway to the living room, holding the Bobbli. Abrie appeared to be sleeping.

  “I had a brief note about the baby,” Trevor said. “With your return address on the envelope.”

  Rose glanced around the room as if looking for an answer.

  “I hadn’t had an update from you for so long—”

  “Update? That’s not what those messages were. I needed to talk with you.”

  “Yeah, well, I intended to. But then I started to worry when you didn’t call for a couple of months so the letter was a relief.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah, the note said I should come see the baby. It was good timing. Sierra and I just broke up again.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rose said. “I didn’t want you to come. Was this note signed?”

  Trevor shoved his hands into his pocket. “No.”

  Rose wrinkled her nose. Finally she said, “Well, the note obviously wasn’t from me.”

  Before Trevor could answer, Tim stepped to Rose’s side. “It was from me. I looked up Trevor’s address at the library.”

  Reuben’s hair bristled on the back of his neck. Why would Tim, of all people, do that? He’d been adamant, before, that he wished Rose hadn’t told Trevor she was expecting.

  “I suggested he come see you. And the Bobbli.”

  “Dat,” Rose said, as if her heart were breaking. “Why?”

  Trevor crossed his arms, staring at Rose. “I assumed you wanted me to come back.”

  Rose stepped back. “Jah, I did last winter. But then I stopped.” She took another step backward, toward the table, toward Lila, leaving Tim and Reuben facing Trevor.

  When Trevor saw Reuben, his expression went flat.

  “Let’s sit down and have some coffee,” Beth said. “Come on in, Trevor.”

  Rose motioned for Trudy to go into the living room before Trevor reached the table. Trudy obeyed without a sound. Reuben heard the rocker going, barely, as if Trudy was doing her best not to make any noise.

  Trevor locked eyes on Reuben as he sat down but didn’t say anything. Reuben stayed standing.

  Tim asked about Trevor’s trip. It had been fine. Then Tim asked Trevor what work he’d found back home. “Construction,” he answered.

  Trevor crossed his arms and leaned back, looking as if he was weary of the small talk. “So why did you want me to come see Rose?” he asked Tim.

  Reuben kept his eyes on Rose. She winced but didn’t say anything.

  “I figure as a human being you deserved to see your daughter,” Tim answered.

  “You could have asked me,” Rose muttered.

  “I knew what your response would be,” Tim said. “I talked with your grandfather. I asked him what he would have done differently all those years ago, for your mother. And I thought of Lila’s longing to know who her biological father was all these years. And I thought about Trevor, about what he deserved too.” Tim shrugged. “I changed my mind from what I first believed.”

  Reuben couldn’t help but admire Tim. The man had changed. He was right, that having Trevor visit now was better than if he showed up later—or if Abrie went looking for him as an adult as Lila had done.

  Rose reached for Lila’s hand, as if perhaps her sister could help her. But as Lila scooted closer to Rose, Reuben realized she simply needed the support. His heart swelled a little, thinking about how scared Rose might be. Did she think Trevor might try to take the baby?

  Reuben stepped to the doorway of the living room. Trudy rocked the little one slowly. She’d woken up and was staring into her Aenti’s face. Reuben quickly turned his attention back toward the adults at the table.

  Beth passed mugs of coffee around.

  Trevor didn’t seem to know what to say and turned toward Lila. “How are you doing?” His voice was kind.

  “Better,” she said, pouring cream into her coffee.

  “And how is Zane?”

  “Gut,” Lila answered. “He’s probably on his way over.” She glanced toward Dat.

  Reuben stifled a groan, wondering how much more complicated th
e situation could get. This was the sort of drama he had come to expect at the Lehman house.

  “Did you tell him you were coming?” Lila asked.

  Trevor shook his head as a knock fell on the back door.

  Beth placed a coffee cake, a knife, and a stack of plates on the table in front of Lila and then went to answer the door.

  The first thing Zane said was, “Is that Trevor’s car?”

  “As a matter of fact, jah,” Beth said. “Come on in.”

  Trevor stood and shook Zane’s hand. Reuben couldn’t help but remember their embrace last fall when Trevor had first come to Lancaster County. Clearly there was tension between the two now, and for good reason.

  “Why did you come back?” Zane asked.

  “I wanted to see Rose. And the baby. I’m trying to figure things out.”

  “What about Sierra?” Zane asked.

  “We broke up.” Trevor turned toward Rose as he spoke. “For good.” He sat back down, keeping his eyes on Rose. “I really am sorry for not communicating for all these months. Sierra was angry, and I wasn’t sure what to do. But when I got the letter, and assumed you wanted me to come, I started thinking about our time together. Of all the support here. Of how happy I was, really, while I was here. I’d been a little lost, until I got the note.”

  Rose nodded, just a little, but didn’t say anything.

  Trevor exhaled. “We have a baby. Wouldn’t it be best for us to raise her together? I’ve changed in the last few months—honestly. I’ve stopped drinking. I’m entirely clean and sober.”

  The baby began to fuss, and Trudy stood with her, giving Reuben a panicked look. Reuben wasn’t sure if he could help, but with eighteen nieces and nephews he’d had a lot of experience. He stepped back into the living room and reached for the baby, positioning himself where he could still see the table but Trevor couldn’t see him. He put Abrie to his shoulder and patted her back, but by the way she began rooting around at his neck he wasn’t going to keep her happy for long.