Eiichi P.I., Vol. 1

by James K. Penn

  ***

  On the pilgrimage to his house, Eiichi had no way of knowing if Reiko’s stalker was still following them, and had kept an eye out during the entire trip. If he was to be targeted now, he would probably be followed anyways, so there was no helping it. He didn’t want this sicko to know where he lived, but it would possibly distract him from Reiko for a while, and give Eiichi a chance to come face to face with him, if he tried anything. It was just Connor, Torio and himself, but that was all he needed for reinforcements. Though he figured he should give Torio the low down once he got home from work. Torio would be receptive.

  “I’m home.”

  “Sorry for the intrusion,” the group resonated.

  Eiichi kicked his shoes off and the girls followed behind him, doing the same.

  Immediately, with a greeting bark, a blur of white, gray and black fur came rushing at them from out of the living room.

  “Whoa!” Ryoko startled.

  “Aww, there’s my guy!”

  Eiichi knelt down to greet Connor, who was all ears, nose and tongue, moving like someone had put espresso in his water dish, and tail wagging in a lethal procession over his excitement to see their new guests.

  “This is Connor.” Eiichi stood and the husky immediately swerved around him, panting to greet the girls.

  Noda knelt down and Eiichi was ready for the cloudy, bright affections again.

  The girls grouped around Connor in the hall of the front door.

  “D’aww, he’s so energetic!” Noda mushed Connor’s face.

  “This is an above-average dog you have here, Kozuka,” Ryoko had been scratching behind his ears. Then she turned to Connor. “Koshuka must be sho mean to you, huh~? You wanna’ come home with me?”

  “So I take it you’re a dog person, Takahashi?”

  “I can have my preferences.”

  “N-Nice doggy...” Sumi daringly stretched her hand out, when Connor noticed and rushed her, jumping up and lapping at her face. “Kyah! Hehe, that tickles!”

  Eiichi eyed them as they fawned over Connor’s charm. ‘That’s it boy, work your magic.’

  “Ah! Haha! Not there, boy!”

  Connor had thrust his nose in between Noda’s breasts.

  “Your dog is a bit of a perv, Kozuka...” Ryoko frowned.

  “He’s a dog. I get the feeling that was meant for me and not him.”

  Reiko had stood back the entire time, still cautious about being in someone else's home, something else she had not done in a long time. She kept herself on high alert, though she didn’t know what for.

  “Rei-chan, you wanna’ pet Co-nn-or?” Sumi tried to enunciate the name.

  Reiko looked at him, but there was no chance to be timid around the excited canine, and he leapt at Reiko as well, causing her to yelp and fall back with giggles as he wandered around and attacked her face.

  “My glasses! Hahaha!”

  “Why does he have such a strange name, is it American?” Noda asked.

  “Nah, my mom named him. I suppose you could call it American.”

  “So is she American?”

  “Mm...kinda’.”

  Noda’s gaping oval of a mouth curved into a frown of confusion. “Uh...huh...”

  The group wandered into the living room and began peering around the simple complexions and layout.

  “Wow, is this your brother?”

  “You two were cute, when you were little…”

  Before he knew it, they were grouped around a series of family photos that were hanging on the wall around the television.

  Eiichi approached behind the group. There were several photos of him and Torio with their parents. There was one of both of them, when they were much younger, standing on a hiking trail at Mount Fuji, their parents between them. Eiichi remembered trading cameras with tourists to take pictures. Another was of them fishing off a sailboat with their dad, that his mom had taken. They also had a few of the family taking tours to different monuments, back when they lived in Boston.

  “Who’s this? He looks almost like you, Eiichi.”

  Noda had pointed to an image of a stern young man in a dark blue uniform with red trim and gold pins on the collars. There was a backdrop of an American flag.

  “That’s not a Japanese uniform...” Sumi uttered.

  “That’s my dad, when he was about my brother’s age.”

  “He looks very dashing...” Reiko said.

  “He immigrated to America on a student visa when he was fourteen, and then enlisted in the Marine Corps after finishing high school and gaining his citizenship.”

  Sumi marveled, “Wow, American military...”

  “Hmm,” Ryoko hummed, looking over her shoulder at him, “so the apple does fall far from the tree.”

  “Would you like to be pelted with apples?”

  They gazed over another of a much older version of Eiichi’s dad in a more lax setting. He was leaning against the wood balcony of a beach house overlooking a coastline, sporting an Eagle, Globe and Anchor tattoo on the forearm at his side, and his other arm around a beautiful woman in a long skirt and light top. She had lush, green eyes on a calming face and black wavy hair.

  “Is this your mom!?”

  “She’s definitely not Japanese.”

  “She’s so gorgeous!”

  “Yeah, she and my dad met a long time ago when he was on leave. They had Torio and me a year or two later.”

  “Where is she from?” Noda asked.

  “Ireland.”

  “Ireland?” the group exclaimed.

  “Yeah, her parents immigrated to America when she was very little. She was in college when she met my dad in Boston.”

  “So you lived in Boston once?”

  “Yeah, Torio and I were born there, and then dad was stationed on base in Okinawa when I was twelve, so we moved here.”

  “So they’re not here in Saitama?”

  “No, once Torio was old enough to work, my dad thought it would be good for him and me to try living on our own for a while. It sounds cold, but he wanted us to get an early start.”

  Ryoko smirked. “So, Kozuka’s a mutt and not even a native, who would’ve guessed.”

  “Ya know what, Takahashi? I’m just about tired of—”

  “Whoa!”

  Torio’s voice flourished from behind Eiichi and he whipped around to find him standing in awe at the group that had just stepped into the living room.

  His watering eyes glimmered and his mouth stayed agape at the sight of the four high school girls. “Eiichi, who are these beautiful young ladies that just happened to stumble in through our doorway.”

  “Ah, jeez.” Eiichi smacked his forehead, he had been doing that a lot lately. “I forgot, it’s a Saturday...”

  “They followed you in out of curiosity, right? This is so sudden, I’m having a difficult time believing it myself.”

  This was, for the most part, an act. Torio was messing with him.

  “Hello, sorry for the intrusion.” Noda bowed and the rest of the group followed suit.

  “My little brother!”

  Suddenly Eiichi was wrapped in what was the only hug Torio had given him in a long time, and an outrageously intense one at that. Torio continued to blubber against him while Eiichi made strained attempts to pull away.

  “You finally did it!” Torio whimpered. “You finally bested me. I relinquish all gloating rights to you.”

  Eiichi pulled at the fabric of his stylish button up. “Get off me! Rrrgh!”

  The four standing behind them stared with either amused expressions or wide, fixated eyes.

  Torio grabbed him by the shoulders. “How did you do it? Have you been planning this the whole time to surprise me?”

  “No, dammit! I barely know them!”

  Torio hugged tighter. “You’ve found the magic touch! I’m so proud of you!”

  “You’re getting your cologne stench all over me! Knock it off!”

  After more attempts by Eiichi to
wrench himself away, Torio released his brother.

  “Phew, forgive me, it’s just that we haven’t had visitors for a long time,” he said, smoothing his lengthy hair, which was light brown with an orange tinge. “I’m Kozuka Torio, Eiichi’s older brother.”

  Each of the four introduced themselves with kind affection. Eiichi noticed that as soon as Torio had straightened himself out, some of whatever ridiculous charm he had been gifted with was beginning to have its effect on the girls.

  “Your brother is very exceptional, Kozuka,” Ryoko smirked.

  “So you like everything about me, but me...”

  “Exactly!” She raised a thumb.

  “It is a pleasure to meet all of you, but I have to ask, why is your wonderful group paying such an uncanny visit to our humble abode. I didn't even have time to clean,” said Torio.

  “Ah, Kozuka had something to give to Morita here,” Ryoko motioned apathetically.

  “Ohhh~” Torio placed a hand on his chin. “It wouldn’t happen to be a trinket to express your affections of adoration?”

  Eiichi groaned out the corner of his mouth, “Shut the hell up, Torio...”

  Especially in front of women, Torio knew all the right buttons to push with his brother.

  “Well since you’re all here, why don’t you stay for a while. I can make tea while Eiichi and Morita take care of their business together,” he said with a wink to his brother.

  “Yeah...that sounds good...” Eiichi grumbled.

  Torio led the girls into the living room, and Reiko stayed behind with Eiichi.

  “So, what is it you wanted to give to me?” Reiko muttered.

  Eiichi headed for the stairs and waved her over. “C’mon.”

  She followed him up and through a tiny lounge area at the top, and through the hall to his bedroom door.

  He opened it, and stepped in. Surprisingly enough, Reiko followed him inside.

  Her eyes moved over his cluttered desk, the posters on his walls, and his bed. She hadn’t been sure of what to expect, considering she had never been in a boy’s room before, and was careful about her surroundings. It might have looked messy to her, but she noticed how clean the floor remained. Eiichi kept to an order he liked to call ‘organized chaos’.

  “Sorry it’s not very tidy, my brother rarely comes in here, and I don’t really have company often.”

  Eiichi motioned her over to his dresser, which had a few trinkets and scrap papers with a light coating of dust on them. Among the items were four knives.

  “I only bought one of these, a long time ago. The others I took off of jerks that I ran into here and there. Most were using them to scare people, nothing serious.”

  Reiko gazed at them with confusion and curiosity, wondering just what he was showing her these for, and getting a gradual understanding of why.

  Two were basic folding blades, one was an automatic, and one was a butterfly.

  “I’m not going to force you to do anything, and I understand all this is a bit beyond what you’re accustomed to, but I wanted to offer you a chance to take hold of your own protection. I know it’s not a taser or a can of mace, but it’s something.”

  With fingers curved to her lips, she looked from him and back to the knives.

  “Pick one.”

  Reiko looked up at him, astonished.

  “Well, maybe not this one.”

  He picked up the butterfly and let it unfold, the blade rocking up and down before them. He had wrapped it in electrical tape.

  “I’ve practiced with it a little, but I’m not all that good.”

  “How do you use it?”

  “Like any other knife, but...”

  Eiichi flicked his wrist and the black handles of the strange weapon were suddenly off in a blur before their eyes. The blade appeared and disappeared in milliseconds. For a few moments, he actually looked good, until the electrical tape smacked down hard on his knuckle.

  “Ah!” he took away the knife and shook out his hand.

  “Are you okay?” Reiko fretted.

  He smiled up at her, “Yeah. See, that wouldn’t have been pretty.”

  With another twirl, the blade was concealed between its handles, and he placed it back on the dresser.

  “The best thing for you would be something simple and concealable.” He picked up the automatic folding blade. Its handle was an olive green and contoured into a grip on one side, with a belt clip attached. “There’s a button right here. It acts as a safety and activation. You press down on it and push forward.”

  CLICK!

  The blade swung out and locked into place. It was black and serrated near the base. The light from his window reflected off its edge as it moved straight up, where it angled into a point, instead of curving. To Eiichi, it had always reminded him of one of those tactical katanas.

  “And when you want to retract it, just do the same thing,” he said, shutting the blade and handing it to her.

  Reiko wasn’t sure what to do with it, and her hand inched toward it like the blade would jump out at her any moment. She took it from his hand and smoothed over the grip.

  “Just watch your other hand when you open it.”

  She pressed and the blade flicked out, her hand white-knuckling the handle. He could tell she had used kitchen knives before, and knew how to check a blade’s sharpness without hurting herself. She turned it over and touched the blade, her soft finger scraping its tissue lightly against the edge.

  “I don’t know if I can accept this...”

  “You don’t have to, but in my opinion, you’re better off with it than without it.”

  Reiko was silent for a very long time, still poking over the blade and thinking.

  “There is a group of people sitting downstairs that are devoted to seeing you through this, but there may come a time when they’re not around, and that is just the opportunity this guy is looking for. We’re going to catch him, Morita, but it would be best to be ready, in case something goes wrong.”

  She understood that accepting this would be like admitting her own vulnerability. It took courage for someone in her position to admit they were not completely in control, and that there were forces outside their control they would have to be ready for. He wasn’t even convinced she would say yes to this, he was just relieved that Noda and he had made it this far with her.

  “Thank you very much, Kozuka-san...” Reiko stepped back and bowed, the knife clasped in her hands.

  She realized now, the care he had taken for her, with everything he had done thus far.

  “Uh!” he flustered and rubbed the back of his head. “Y-You’re welcome...Morita.”

  Reiko straightened out, “I will take good care of it.”

  “G-Good, and if you’re not sure you wanna’ keep it, you can return it. I won’t be offended.”

  “Okay.”

  “But for now, keep it on you at all times. I’m not kidding, even at school. I’m going to be carrying one too. Remember, he’s after me as well. Always have it somewhere you can get to easily.”

  Reiko’s lips curved up, and she smiled at him. It was light, full of endearment and understanding. She was no longer afraid of him.

  “Ahem! Now, uh, you should probably know a few things. I don’t know a lot, but my dad did teach me some basics. Taking your height into consideration, if you find yourself in a situation where your opponent is standing in front of you, you don’t want to attempt striking the chest. It would take a considerable amount of force to break through the breast bone and ribs. Also, that strike would be too high for you and would give them enough time to counter. Here, hold the knife upside down.”

  “Like this?”

  “Yeah, now raise it up and act like you’re going to stab me in the chest.”

  Very awkwardly, she raised the blade high, a little higher than he meant, but a good example of what not to do.

  He reached up, using his arm to block, “See? It would take you too much time to draw back and come dow
n. Even if you aimed straight ahead, you would still have to draw back. So your best bet is to keep it low, like this.”

  He tightened a fist and let it hang around his thigh.

  Reiko imitated him with the blade in hand. “Like this?”

  “Yes, if you keep the blade low, he’s less likely to see it, especially from up close. If he’s following you or standing in front of you, he’s gonna’ be looking around your head and shoulder region. He could be standing just three feet in front of you, and he wouldn’t see you taking it from your pocket. If at all possible, you do not want him to see it before you use it. So, from right here, you have your pick of many spots to strike. Even from this position, if he came up and grabbed you, it would likely be at your forearms and chest level, because he’s going to want control of the upper body. But even if he gets that far, you still have an advantage...May I?”

  “It’s okay...”

  Eiichi placed his hands lightly on her upper arms and he could feel her output lighting up a little. Just a special blend of awkwardness and tension, with a dash of ardor. He hoped to God someone didn’t walk in and get the wrong idea.

  “I have you up here, but you can still move your forearms and pivot your elbows. Plus, my arms are up here, so you have free reign over all of my lower organs. You can go for a gut shot.” He brought her knife hand up and touched the tip to his abs.

  ‘Linea alba…’ Eiichi heard her output whisper.

  Her eyes were focused intently on where the blade was pointed.

  “You could get me in the thigh…”

  ‘Rectus femoris, Sartorius…’

  “Or even here…”

  ‘Iliac artery, Cremaster muscle, brevis, longus, magnus…’

  Eiichi smiled, “If you stabbed me there, I would bleed out in seconds. If I got really close...”

  He brought her knife hand around to his lower back. Her output lit up with more color than he had seen from her since day one. His face was feeling pretty warm as well.

  Several hours ago, today, he had been listening to this girl talk about how she never thought of herself as attractive, and now he was alone with her in his room, teaching her how to stab someone in the kidneys, and he couldn’t get over how soft her lips looked in comparison to the calming gray of her eyes, like fog on a moor.

  Her output wasn’t saying anything now.

  “Mm...Mhm...” she nodded.

  “Yeah...” he let go and stepped away. “Sorry, I got a little carried away there...”

  “N-No, you did fine. I learned a lot...”

  Eiichi tried to shrug it off and looked up at her, “Even if he grabbed you from behind, if you hold it reversed like before, with the blade down, you can swing your arm back and get him in the thigh. Just make sure it’s still in your hand when you pull away. You don’t even need to strike hard, just make sure it’s hard enough to get through fabric.”

  Reiko was feeling a bit more confident. “Got it.”

  Eiichi placed a hand on his chin. “I would teach you more of the fatal ways that I learned from my dad, but we’re not really aiming for that. Your objective is to maim him. Aim low, that’s really all you need to remember. If you feel you need to, stab him as many times as possible, but once should be enough to put him down.”

  Reiko nodded at him, adrenaline making her frame a little jittery again, and she began allowing herself to cool off. This was a world she was unfamiliar with, but he could tell she was willing to take any necessary measures to make sure she came out alive and as mentally intact as possible. She folded the blade back into place, and put the knife in her skirt pocket.

  He wasn’t really in any pain due to her mix of neuroses and attraction, but it was a troublesome mix, nonetheless.

  Eiichi touched his sensitive forehead. “I understand it’s all kinda’ scary, but this is just precaution. There’s no guarantee you’ll have to use it.”

  “Understood,” Reiko said, and offered him a wary smirk.

  He could feel the presence of curious minds approaching from up the hall.

  Ryoko’s dull voice met their ears. “Yep, this is exactly what I thought your room would look like.”

  Ryoko had been the first to enter, Noda and Sumi following after. Reiko became rather cautious all of a sudden, considering the incidental bonding scenario she had just experience with him.

  “No, please, just barge in why dontcha’,” Eiichi droned.

  Ryoko eyed the posters of his favorite metal groups. “Interesting tastes you have, Kozuka. You’re really one for doom n’ gloom.”

  “Ironically, that’s all I ever get from you...”

  He was praying Ryoko wouldn’t notice the spare packs of Sparrows that just happened to be sitting on his nightstand.

  “Your brother was very hospitable, and he makes amazing pastries,” Sumi said.

  “Yeah, he’s always been the culinary type.”

  “He’s a real charmer,” Ryoko admitted.

  “I think he’s hot,” Sumi blushed.

  “Good, you go tell him that.”

  “Oh gosh!” Sumi giggled wildly, realizing she had already said too much. “I couldn’t, he’s what, thirty?”

  “Twenty-one.”

  “Wow!” Noda and Ryoko started.

  “And he’s taking care of your sorry ass?” Ryoko continued. “Suddenly he’s a lot more appealing. What kind of job does a twenty-one-year-old have to work to keep a place like this?”

  He could tell that, even for as small as the house was, it was amazing to them that he and Torio were even living here if Torio had been the only available income to keep things running. He would admit, it would be easier for them to live in an apartment, but Torio just had to have a front and backyard of some kind.

  “Well...” Eiichi feigned aloofness. “It’s not exactly something I can talk about openly.”

  “What, what is it?”

  Suddenly all four of them were leaning in, wide eyes glimmering at him and all kinds of wild suspicions of amour running through their outputs. Eiichi decided to have some fun with these, but would have to make this quick if he wanted to remain standing.

  “He has a lot of clients. I don’t really see them.”

  “Mhm!” “Yes?” the group leaned closer.

  “And he definitely sees a lot of women.”

  The room was thick with steamy tension.

  “Oh no...” “Please don’t tell us it’s...”

  Eiichi shook his head. “But he always comes home complaining about paperwork…”

  “Paperwork!?” the group burst.

  “Yep!” Eiichi smiled. “He’s a pencil pusher.”

  They heaved out a simultaneous sigh of relief, the tension fled, and Eiichi felt like he could breathe again.

  “He’s been shooting for a big promotion, and his boss is having a hard enough time finding room for him.”

  Noda hunched forward, “Sheesh, I thought you were gonna’ say he’s some kind of male escort...”

  “Yeah...” Sumi patted her thumping chest.

  “Nah, Torio may be flirty, but he’s got a good conscience. Plus, he’d be terrified of getting an STD.”

  “Ugh, thanks for getting our suspicions running, Kozuka...” Ryoko fanned herself.

  He had managed to get something else running.

  “Glad I could help.” He counted that as getting back at her.

  “I’m ready to go, before Kozuka feeds me any more of his pervy thoughts.” Ryoko made for the door.

  ‘What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.’

  “Torio and I will see you out.”