by Ally Blue
“How do you know that, anyhow?” Jess plucked idly at her bass. Orange and white striped hair hung in her face.
Chad smirked. “I know lots of things. We’ve known each other since grade school, remember?”
The door opened before anyone could say anything else, and the man in question stumbled in. He looked like he’d been up all night. Which, Kier reflected, he probably had, if his recent pattern of behavior was any indication. His sweat-stained shirt hung open, revealing nicely ripped abs, and his button fly was half undone. The big, jade-green eyes that captivated boys and girls alike were bloodshot, and his skin was even whiter than usual. His black hair stuck up in random directions, and the electric blue highlights glinted in the glare of the studio lights.
“Where the hell have you been?” Chad exploded before Kier could even open his mouth. He looked Orion up and down and shook his head.
“Out,” Orion answered. He shuffled over to the little refrigerator in the corner, pulled out a bottle of water, and drank half of it in one breath.
“Guy or girl?” Jess asked, eyeing the perfect set of tooth marks on Orion’s bare chest. Orion was bisexual and disgustingly peaceful about it.
“Both.” Orion flashed the grin that made otherwise sane people grovel at his feet. “Twins. Young and pretty.”
Tom laughed. “You’re a slut.”
“What can I say? Everybody wants me.” Orion bounded over and kissed Tom firmly on the mouth. “You want me, don’t you Tommy? C’mon, admit it.”
“Not even if you had a sex change, dude.” Tom pushed Orion’s hand away from his buttons and grinned. “You’re not my type.”
“Helloooo!” Chad waved his drumsticks over his head. “Am I the only one who wants to get any recording done today? We have already lost an hour, thanks to Mr. Manwhore over there.”
“Don’t get your panties in a wad, Queenie,” Orion said. “We’re ready.”
Chad’s face flushed a pink nearly as bright as his hair. “I told you to quit calling me that.”
“I will,” Orion answered. “When you stop being such a fucking queen.”
“All right, that’s enough!” Kier shouted before Chad could do more than splutter. “God, you guys are worse than a bunch of fucking five-year-olds. Orion, we’re doing your final vocals for Midnight first, and Chad is absolutely correct that we’ve already lost an hour thanks to you, so you better get it right.”
Orion’s face turned serious. “Sorry, Kier, really. I’ll nail it first take.”
Kier looked into Orion’s deceptively sweet face and felt his anger melting away. Orion was the only person in the world who could do that to him with nothing but a look. Kier was thirty-five. He’d been producing for eleven years and had a reputation for being a tough son of a bitch. Then along came this boy—this smirking, self-satisfied youngster barely out of his teens—who twisted Kier around his little finger with his evil angel eyes and childlike smile and free-spirited ways. It was infuriating.
“Okay. Well, good.” Kier ran a hand through his unruly brown curls. “All right, let’s do this.”
*****
The session went much better than Kier had expected. Orion did indeed nail the Midnight vocals on the first take. Consequently, Midnight was finished early enough that they had time to do scratch vocals and basic instrument tracks for the next song on the list before their studio time was up for the day.
“Great job, guys,” Kier said as the band gathered jackets and keys. “You’ve got tomorrow off, but be back here same time Monday.”
“I’ll be here,” Chad said, giving Orion a pointed look. “See you, Kier.” He swayed out the door without a backward glance.
Tom and Jess followed, already discussing what to do with their day off. Orion started to trail behind them. Kier called to him before he could leave.
“Orion,” he said. “I need to talk to you for a minute.”
Orion glanced at Jess and Tom as they left the room, then sauntered over to Kier. “What’s up?”
Kier smiled at him. “You did great today. But listen, you’ve gotta stop being late for recording, okay? We can’t count on this good a session every time, and we’re gonna fall behind schedule if you keep doing this.”
Orion hung his head and gazed up at Kier through thick black lashes. “I’m sorry, Kier, I really am. I don’t mean to waste studio time, it’s just ... well, I’m having fun here. I can’t believe how many people want to get with me all of a sudden, since the last album hit so big.” He gave an oddly shy smile. “It’s kind of cool.”
“I’m not telling you to stop having fun. Go out and enjoy yourself. Do what you want. But you show up here on time and ready to record, or this album’s gonna be a fucking disaster. I do not want that to happen, Orion. I have a lot riding on you guys. I believe one hundred percent in your talent, but talent’s not enough. You have to prove to me that you can be professional too, and that means being where you’re supposed to be, when you’re supposed to be there, ready to work. Got that?”
Orion nodded. “Yeah, I got it. I’ll do better, I swear.”
“Good.” Kier slapped Orion’s back. “Now go on and have a good time. Just be careful, huh? Just because someone looks sweet and innocent doesn’t mean they can’t give you something you don’t want.”
“Don’t think I’ll go cruising tonight anyhow, I’m not in the mood. Think I’ll just go out for a few drinks or something. Hey, you wanna come with? I’m buying.”
Kier shook his head. “No thanks. I think I’ll stay here and get some mixing done.”
“Dude, work’s not everything. Take some time off, huh? Let the engineers do some of it.”
“You know I like to do the mixing myself. Anyhow, I’ll have time to get some work done and still go out tonight, if I want.”
“Bet you won’t. Bet you’ll still be here at midnight.”
“Bet you’re right.”
They both laughed. Orion tilted his head to the side and gave Kier a curious look. “What do you do for fun, Kier? I only ever see you here, but you can’t work all the time. You got a girl? Or maybe a boy?”
Kier arched an eyebrow. “No, not at the moment. I don’t have time.” He tried not to think of the screaming fight he’d had with Colin the day they’d broken up. It was nine months before, but he could still hear Colin’s accusations like it was yesterday: that he was cold, uncaring, a workaholic. The hell of it was, Colin was right. Kier had decided that day to stop trying to pretend he could sustain a relationship. He couldn’t do it without giving up the career he loved, and he wasn’t willing to give that up for anything.
“Kier?”
Orion’s voice brought Kier abruptly out of his thoughts. Kier cleared his throat. “Sorry, zoned out there for a sec.”
“What were you thinking of?”
“Old boyfriend. We were together for four years. He left me because I work too much.”
Orion stepped closer. Kier could smell the stale sweat on his skin. His groin twitched, and he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to push Orion away or pull him to the floor and have him.
“Wouldn’t have pegged you for queer,” Orion said.
Kier laughed. “We’re not all like Chad.”
Orion stared at him, and he stared back. He couldn’t look away. His head started to whirl. When Orion blinked and dropped his gaze to the floor, Kier felt oddly relieved. He’d been dangerously close to indulging his long-suppressed desire to bend the boy over and fuck him until he screamed for mercy.
“Um, okay. I’m gonna go now.” Orion glanced up at Kier, then turned away and left before Kier could think of a single thing to say.
Kier stood there for a while, staring at the door. He knew that Orion had seen the lust in his eyes—the look on the young man’s face left no doubt about that. All he could do now was hope that it didn’t affect the album. He could handle it if Orion hated him, but he wouldn’t tolerate personal feelings interfering with work. He sighed wearily.
“Kier, you fucking idiot, you know you can’t ever let ’em see you looking,” he said out loud to the empty studio. He turned on his heel, stomped into the booth, and slammed the door behind him.
*****
Time slipped by like it always did when Kier immersed himself in mixing. It was his favorite part of making an album. He loved to take the raw sounds and twist and pull and swirl them into something stunning. And that was ridiculously easy with this band.
Orion liked to play up his Slutty Party Boy image—God only knew why—but he had the soul of a poet. The songs he wrote had a fierce, untamed beauty that shone through like a supernova. To man like Kier, who had a natural talent for bringing out the best in any song, finding the right mix for one of Orion’s creations was a simple matter of letting the music guide him.
He jumped about a foot when the studio door banged open. Orion staggered inside. “Kier!” he shouted. “I know you’re still here. Where the fuck are you?”
Kier glanced up at the clock. 11:30—an early evening for Orion. He leaned forward and thumbed the studio speakers on.
“In the booth,” he said into the mike, trying not to laugh when Orion yelped and nearly tripped over his own feet trying to turn in every direction at once. “C’mon in. I’m just working on Midnight now.”
Orion nodded, grinned, and gave Kier a thumbs-up. Kier shook his head as Orion weaved his way over to the door into the booth.
“Heeey, man!” Orion slurred. “I figured you’d still be here, so I thought I’d come over and keep you company.” He flopped down onto the leather sofa and slung a denim-clad leg over the back.
“Thoughtful,” Kier said. “You’re drunk.”
“Only a lot. That bar around the corner mixes ’em strong. More Jack than Coke, you know?”
Kier swiveled his chair to face the young man lying on the couch. Orion grinned back at him. The singer wore a long-sleeved blue shirt made of some sheer material that clung to him like cellophane. Kier could see his flat pink nipples and dark treasure trail clear as day. The ears of the Bugs Bunny tattoo on his left hip peeked above his low-slung jeans.
“So what’s wrong, Orion?” Kier said after a long moment. “Why’re you really here?”
Orion widened his eyes. “I told you: I wanted to come keep you company! It’s Saturday night, for fuck’s sake—no one ought to be alone.”
“I’m fine alone. You, however, have usually lured some poor unsuspecting soul into your bed by now. So, what gives?”
Orion gave a wry laugh and sat up. “Yeah, okay. So I met this chick, right? Goth girl, the kind that looks like she might bite. Hotter than fuck. We went to her place.”
Orion fell silent. Kier leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What happened?”
“Nothing. Turns out she’s a lot more vanilla than she looks.”
“You wanted it kinky and she didn’t?”
“You could say that. I asked her to tie me up and spank me. She called me a perv and told me to get the hell out.” He shook his head. “Some groupie.”
Kier laughed, trying to ignore the way his crotch ached at the thought of Orion bound and naked, his ass striped with red. “You’ve got a long way to go before you’re famous enough to find groupies when you’re not on tour, kiddo. That girl took you home because you’re brutally hot, not because she had any idea who the fuck you are.”
Orion smiled in a way that threatened to scramble Kier’s brains. “You think I’m hot?”
Kier shook his head. “Don’t even go there. You know exactly how gorgeous you are. You use it all the fucking time.”
Orion’s smile faded. He looked young and fragile, and Kier felt like a heel for putting that look on his face. He reached out and took Orion’s hand.
“Look, of course I think you’re hot,” he said. “Everybody does, and you damn well know it.”
“I don’t try to get by on my looks. I’ve worked really hard to get this band off the ground. Me and Chad have dreamed about this since fifth grade. It’s all we’ve fucking wanted for most of our lives.”
“I know. I didn’t mean...”
“Yeah, you did.” Orion gave him a little half smile. “Guess I can’t blame you. Everybody thinks that.”
“Orion, look. It doesn’t matter what people think. I know how hard you’ve worked for your success. I know it didn’t just fall into your lap. But you’re gonna throw it all away if you’re not careful. I mean you’re out every night, getting drunk or high, picking up boys or girls or sometimes both, then showing up late and hung over for interviews and performances and recording sessions. Yeah, it’s rock and roll, you can get away with it for a while, but eventually it’ll wear you down. Then, one day, you’ll wake up and realize you can’t write any more, that you don’t have it in you to perform any more, and that’ll be the end. I’ve seen it happen more times than I can count. I don’t want to see it happen to you.”
“I know, Kier. I know. But I can’t seem to stop. I don’t know why, I just ... can’t stop.” Orion looked up at Kier with pure misery in his eyes.
Kier got up and sat on the sofa next to Orion. He wrapped an arm around the young man and pulled him close. Orion leaned his head on Kier’s shoulder.
“You’ll be okay,” Kier said. “You just need to get all the partying and sleeping around out of your system, that’s all. The trick is to not let it destroy you in the meantime.”
“I don’t wanna do it anymore. I’m tired, Kier. I want to stop. But I can’t.” He pressed closer. “Will you help me?”
“Of course I’ll help you. I’m here for you whenever you need me.”
“I need you now.” Orion turned his head and nuzzled Kier’s neck.
Kier licked his suddenly dry lips. “Orion, what are you doing?”
“I need you, Kier.” Orion kissed Kier’s throat. “I need you.” He slid a hand into Kier’s hair, licked his ear. “I fucking need you right now.”
“Orion ... God...” Kier swallowed. “This is ... this is just more of the same. Sleeping with me isn’t going to help you.”
Orion ran his tongue along Kier’s jaw, pulling a soft groan from his mouth. “You’re the only one who can give me what I need.”
Kier let out a breathless laugh. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. You fuck somebody different every night. You sure as hell don’t need to fuck me.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Orion pulled back. His eyes burned with an intensity Kier had never seen in them before.
“What, then? You know I’ll help you any way I can.” Kier stroked Orion’s cheek. Part of him was disappointed, but he clamped down hard on that part, and let his considerable relief wash over him.
It was short-lived. Orion slithered up onto Kier’s lap, straddling him. He wrapped both arms around Kier’s neck and stared down into his eyes.
“I need you to be firm with me, Kier. I need you to take me in hand and make me be good. Make me do what I can’t make myself do.” He leaned down and brushed his lips against Kier’s. “Please.”
Kier started to say something. Then Orion’s mouth was on his, wet and open, and he couldn’t think. He responded with a hunger he didn’t think he had in him anymore, crushing Orion’s slender body against his and kissing him deeply. He tasted whiskey on the slick tongue probing his mouth.
Several heated minutes passed before Kier could force himself to break the kiss. He pulled away with a tremendous effort and looked up into Orion’s eyes.
“Stop,” he gasped. “Orion, no, we can’t do this.”
Orion spread his legs wider and pushed his groin against Kier’s belly. His arousal was unmistakable. “I know you want me. Don’t pretend you don’t.”
“I do. That’s not the point.”
“What other point do you need?” Orion dipped his head and pulled on Kier’s bottom lip with his teeth. “You need a good fuck, and I need discipline. It’s mutually beneficial.”
Kier grabbed Orion’s face firmly in both hands. Orion
went still.
“I know everyone thinks I’m a cold-hearted bastard,” Kier said. “And I am, usually. But you do something to me, Orion. I can’t stay mad at you, and I don’t think I could ever raise a hand to you. If you think you need discipline, you’re gonna have to find it inside yourself, because I can’t give it to you.”
Kier was startled to see Orion’s eyes well with tears. “You have to. No one else will. No one else ever has.”
“Hey, it’s okay.” Kier brushed the tears from Orion’s cheeks. “You can do this, I’ll help you, we can...”
“No!” Orion shouted. He pushed away and stumbled to his feet. “Don’t you fucking get it? I have always gotten my way, Kier. I’ve always gotten whatever I want. And I’m fucking sick of it! I’m a weak person, Kier. I like drinking, I like taking drugs, I like to fuck. Maybe that was okay before. But now it’s too much. I’m sick of it all, I’m worn out. I can feel the music leaving me. And I can’t stop it. I want to stop it, but I can’t.”