Finding His Lone Star Love (Harlequin Special Edition)
Page 11
“No, Sam, don’t apologize. I’m the one who was wrong. You were just trying to help, and even though I don’t really want to admit it, you were actually right. I was projecting a lot of myself on Shiloh, when we’re not the same person.” Lucy looked down into her lap. “She is a lot stronger than me, and I know in my heart that if she doesn’t want to go to this dance, that won’t stop her from doing things in the future. I just got worried, and when you stepped in, it made me uncomfortable. It’s just been the two of us for so long that I’m not used to having anyone else’s input when it comes to being a parent to Shiloh.”
She looked up at Sam and once again found his eyes to be gentle and kind, not judgmental. It occurred to her not for the first time that she could spend hours just soaking in their warmth.
“I appreciate you saying that, but you are right to say that it wasn’t my place to step in.”
“Can we just agree to forget about that?”
Sam studied her for a long time, his expression unreadable. When he spoke again, his voice was hoarse, sexy and so thick that Lucy wanted to swim in it.
“Deal,” he said. “But I can’t agree to forget the whole day. It was one of the best I’ve had in a very long time.”
“Me, too, actually.”
“There’s something else I don’t want to forget,” he said, leaning over closer to her. “I don’t want to forget how beautiful you were in the afternoon sun, or how much I loved hearing you talk about...everything.”
His mouth moved closer and closer to hers, and Lucy’s temples pounded with her pulse. Suddenly, his lips were on hers in the softest, but also the most amazing kiss she had ever experienced. His mouth was gentle, demanding nothing—a lot like Sam himself. But somehow, in the middle of his gentleness, Lucy could feel a hunger, and it matched her own. She knew instantly that if they ever kissed again it would be more urgent, more heated, that she couldn’t wait for that to happen.
The kiss was over almost as suddenly as it had started, and immediately Lucy wanted to pull his face back toward hers and kiss him again. She would have, if only she could breathe. For a moment she was speechless, a thousand questions running through her mind. Finally she sucked in a breath and pushed them all away.
She would not ruin this by questioning his motives. She knew by now she could trust him, and he had kissed her, and it had felt better than anything she’d ever known before. That would have to be sufficient for now. She opened her eyes and sat back in her chair, trying to figure out what to do next despite the spinning room and the tingling sensation traveling up and down her spine in rapid spurts.
“What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?”
Sam chuckled, but he didn’t say anything about her obvious attempt to change the subject. “We just talked about it,” Sam said, his eyes crinkling around the corners.
“Oh,” Lucy said, embarrassed. “I thought maybe it was something to do with the café.”
“No,” Sam said, “this was much more important.”
Lucy let his words sink in beneath her skin, trying not to overanalyze them. She cleared her throat. “Actually, now that the subject of the café has come up, I do have something that I want to talk to you about,” Lucy said.
She was nervous to bring it up, afraid that Sam would say that his time in town was only temporary, and that he needed to get back to New York, but she brushed that aside and barreled on.
“Sure,” he said. “What is it?”
“Actually,” Lucy said, “a guy came by this morning and he wants to interview for your position, or at least the position you’re in temporarily. I know that when you got here the other day you weren’t expecting to step into the chef job, but you’re so fantastic at it that I’m reluctant to put anyone else in your place. Plus, the sales have been fantastic over the past week. It must be word of mouth because, as far as I know, no reviewers have come by recently, but people are raving about your food.”
Sam shifted in his seat, and Lucy’s pulse, which had just started to calm down, kicked up its pace. He sat still for a moment, his eyebrows knitting in concentration. “I know it’s a lot to ask, Lucy, especially since you have somebody interested, but I’d like to stay for another week or so, and think about it more.”
Lucy hesitated. Her answer was yes. Of course she would let Sam stay as long as he liked. She would tell the man who had approached her that she would call him back in a few weeks if she wanted to interview him. That wasn’t what bothered her. What bothered her was Sam’s continued reluctance to tell her what he was really doing in Peach Leaf, and, more than that, her unwillingness to force him. What could he possibly say that she was so afraid of?
“Sam,” Lucy said, pausing to choose her words, “you know the answer is yes.”
He nodded, but the look of concern in his expression told her that he knew it wasn’t that simple.
“Thank you, Lucy,” he said. “I’ll make arrangements to stay at the bed-and-breakfast for another week, and I’ll make some phone calls to my restaurants to let them know that I’ll be sticking around here a little longer.”
Lucy resisted the urge to breathe a sigh of relief. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear, but at least it meant that he would be in her life for another week. But she needed to know for certain that he wasn’t going to break Shiloh’s heart when he left. The fact that he would break her own was another matter, but she wasn’t going to let that happen to her niece.
“And, Sam—”
“Don’t worry, Lucy,” he said, as if reading her mind. “No matter what happens...with us...I won’t hurt Shiloh. That’s a promise.”
Lucy wasn’t a fan of promises, but for some reason she believed this one. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that Sam was telling the truth.
Sam reached over and pressed his fingers across the top of Lucy’s hand, setting off a new series of fireworks inside of her. She had to change the subject fast or she would be tempted to pull him close again and do things in her office that she would fire one of her employees for. She turned over her hand and Sam tickled her palm with his fingers, sending her nerves into a frenzy.
“There’s something else, Sam, that I wanted to ask you about.” Lucy reluctantly pulled her hand away so that she could regain some of the concentration she’d lost when he’d touched her. “There’s this...thing coming up. It’s a ball to raise money for the observatory, and I was just wondering if...if you’d—”
“Yes,” Sam said, “I’ll go with you.”
Lucy laughed and glared at him in mock annoyance. “How did you know that’s even what I was going ask you?”
“Isn’t it?” he asked.
“Well, yeah, but—”
“Then it’s settled. I’ll take you to the gala, and anywhere else you want me to.” His eyes glowed with glorious mischief, and a conga line of inappropriate thoughts started in her head. “There is one problem, though,” Sam said. “I didn’t exactly roll into town expecting to go to a black-tie function, so I’ll need to scrounge up a tuxedo somehow.”
Lucy beamed at him. “You mean you don’t do this often,” she said, “travel around to small towns, sweeping unsuspecting women off their feet and taking them to classy events?”
His face was suddenly serious.
A knock on the door interrupted them and a docent stepped in to inform Lucy that one of the tour guides had gone home ill. The staff needed Lucy to fill in for the afternoon, if she was able. Lucy said she could, so she and Sam got up to head back to work.
As they walked out of her office, he leaned in, his lips tickling the top of her ear. “No,” he whispered, “just you.”
Lucy finally let go of that breath she’d been holding.
Chapter Eight
“So,” Shiloh asked the following evening, “what are you going to wear?”
She and Lucy were standing in front of Lucy’s bedroom closet, as so many women had done in their own wardrobes before them, trying to figure out an answer to that age-o
ld question.
Lucy released a huge sigh, disappointed with every piece of fabric in her closet. She really needed to go shopping.
“I have absolutely no idea,” she said. Shiloh thumbed through a few pieces, pointing out the more promising ones, but even those were unacceptable. She tugged at one and Lucy pulled it out for her, handing the dress to her niece. Shiloh held out the navy blue cocktail dress, one of the least mediocre things in the bunch.
“How about this?” she asked, spreading it over her lap.
“Nope,” Lucy said. “I wore that one last year. Otherwise it wouldn’t be too bad.”
“You know what this means,” Shiloh said.
Lucy let out a huge groan.
“We have to go shopping.” Shiloh looked superexcited but there wasn’t much that Lucy would enjoy less. She loathed shopping, and often thought that the world would be a much happier place if everyone could just go around in their pajamas all the time. Shiloh didn’t share that sentiment though, and she had taken after her mother as far as her fashion sense. For some reason Jennifer and her daughter were able to pull almost anything out of the closet and make it unique, give it that flair of personality that Lucy never seemed able to pull off. Whenever she went shopping, she chose neutrals, preferring them to brighter garments, which came with the risk of making her stand out. She had always walked the path of the wallflower, and with someone like Jennifer in her family, it was a wise choice.
“Fine, fine,” Lucy said. “But if I’m going shopping, that means you have to come with me.” Lucy winked at her niece, knowing that her comments would cause an eruption of joy.
Besides, bringing Shiloh along would inject a little excitement into the trip, and maybe Lucy would be lucky enough to find something that was both elegant and simple. Shiloh seemed to have a different idea. “I’ll agree to that,” she said, “but only if you promise not to pick something boring.”
“I can’t believe you would even suggest such a thing,” Lucy said, her voice coated with sarcasm. “I can’t promise that, but, if you’re nice and don’t make fun of me, maybe, just maybe, I’ll try on something crazy. But I’m definitely not buying it.”
Shiloh seemed satisfied and she nodded.
Lucy gathered up the dresses that they had pulled out, stuffing them one by one back into the closet. While they had been looking for something for Lucy to wear, they had both ignored the elephant in the room, but they would have to talk about it at some point. Now was as good a time as any.
Lucy pulled in a deep breath through her nose, releasing it slowly through her mouth, trying to figure out the best way to phrase her question without upsetting Shiloh.
“You know,” she said, “if we’re going dress shopping, we might as well pick up something for you, as well.”
There. She’d said it.
She braced herself for whatever the consequences might be. She expected Shiloh to either lash out at her or shut down, so when neither of those things happened, she was more than a little surprised.
“I was thinking about what you said, Aunt Lu, and I might go.” Shiloh moved over to the side of Lucy’s bed and lifted herself up onto it. She met Lucy’s eyes, looking a little smug.
“Oh,” Lucy said, feigning nonchalance, “whatever you want to do is fine.” She stuffed the last dress in and shoved the closet doors closed before stealing a glance at her niece. Two could play at this game. But Shiloh wasn’t buying it.
“Oh, come on, Aunt Lu,” she said. “You’re not fooling anyone. I know you’re excited that I decided to go.”
Lucy rolled her eyes. “Oh, all right. You win.” She sat on the bed next to Shiloh and put her feet up. “Honestly though, Shiloh, I’m just glad that you decided not to let a guy ruin your day. You should be able to go to the dance by yourself or with someone—it doesn’t matter. You have every right to go and have a fabulous time, even without a guy.”
Shiloh looked so adorable sitting on the bed, and Lucy thought how much her niece still resembled her younger self, how much she still looked like that child that had come into Lucy’s life all those years ago. One of these days, she would be old enough to decide for herself what kind of woman she wanted to be. She would turn eighteen, and she’d be able to get the nose ring she’d always wanted, and all the tattoos she’d dreamed up and drawn into her notebooks.
And that was fine with Lucy. None of that bothered her. She wanted Shiloh to be her own person. What worried her wasn’t her niece, it was the world that she was going into. Lucy knew that people could be cruel sometimes. She knew her niece had a strong core and she was glad for that. It would get her through so many things. It was other people that Lucy worried about—other people who had the power to break Shiloh’s heart. And once Shiloh was out on her own, Lucy wouldn’t be around to protect her anymore. The thought terrified her.
But another scary thing weighed on Lucy’s mind, replacing some of the worry she felt for her niece.
The gala. It had caught up to her heels, and was coming up that weekend.
She’d been planning it for months, but with Sam’s arrival, she had lost track of some of the preparations. Luckily, Tessa had been taking care of things and it looked as if everything was under control. It was something she endured every year, but this time it would be different. This time she would not be alone. And the thought of going with Sam, a thought that earlier had made her want to kick up her heels and dance with joy, felt more like doom with each passing minute.
She hadn’t been on a date in so long, and the gala was always such a romantic affair. She didn’t know what Sam would expect. Would he want her to dance with him? She was a revolting dancer. To say that she had two left feet would be the understatement of the year. What if he wanted to kiss her again, especially in front of all of those people? What if—what if he wanted more at the end of the night?
The thought sent a rush through her body. The truth was that she wanted more, too. But not just physically. Every moment she spent with him, even the ones that had been difficult, made her realize that he was exactly the sort of man that she would choose to spend the rest of her life with. And what if he didn’t see that kind of a future with her? After all, he hadn’t even explained to her why he was in town. What if he had more of a life to return to than he’d been honest about?
Lucy’s chest tightened and her mouth went dry. Fear and apprehension exploded in her like the death of a star.
She looked over at Shiloh, who had been sitting a little too quietly.
“Can I tell you something?” Lucy asked.
Shiloh nodded.
“I asked Sam to go to the gala with me and he said yes, and I want to know what you think about that.”
Shiloh’s eyes widened and Lucy stared into their blue depths. “Oh my gosh, Aunt Lu. That’s so awesome!”
“You really think so?”
“Totally. He’s definitely into you—anyone can see that.” Lucy was filled with sudden embarrassment.
“It’s not a...date or anything. We’re just going together as friends.”
Shiloh rolled her eyes—her signature move. “That’s total BS, Aunt Lucy. It’s definitely a date and you know it.”
“Don’t say ‘BS,’” she warned. “Maybe I shouldn’t even go. Maybe it’s a stupid idea.”
Shiloh twisted on the bed until she was facing her aunt. Her expression contained wisdom far beyond her age. “No offense, Aunt Lu, but stop being such a hypocrite.” Shiloh crossed her arms over her chest.
Despite the warning, Lucy was offended. Shiloh had never said anything like that to her before.
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh, come on. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“Actually, I don’t. Would you care to enlighten me?”
“I can’t believe you’re being so dense. You always do this.”
“Do what?”
“This. What you’re doing right now.” When Lucy shook her head, she thought Shiloh would ex
plode with frustration.
“This. You tell me to do something—you tell me to be brave and get out there and conquer the world and all that stuff, but you’re too afraid to do what you’re telling me to do.”
Lucy placed a palm over her chest, stunned at her niece’s blatant honesty. They sat quietly for a moment, not saying anything. Tension buzzed between them as if they were two opposing magnets.
“That’s not true,” Lucy said, her voice filled with defeat.
“It is. It is true. And I’m not saying it to hurt your feelings. I’m saying it because you need to know.” Shiloh’s voice was soft now, all the frustration gone, replaced with tenderness. “You’re asking me to put myself out there, to take a risk by going to the dance, even after Zach asked someone else when he knew I wanted to go with him. It’s gonna be hard for me to go to that dance, Aunt Lucy, but I’m going anyway, mostly because of what you said. You were right to tell me that I shouldn’t let him get in the way of me having a good time with my friends. Zach doesn’t get to have a say in my life. And if I don’t go, then I’m just admitting defeat. Then Zach wins. So I’m going. But now you’re telling me that you don’t think you should go with Sam, just because it might be uncomfortable. Just because maybe...maybe something good will happen, and you’re so afraid of that.”
Shiloh was right, and her honesty floored Lucy.
“How do you know so much, kiddo? You’re too young to be so wise.”
Her niece shrugged her shoulders, flashing an adorable grin. “Guess I was just raised that way. But seriously, you have to go with Sam. I saw your other dates, Aunt Lu. I know how crappy they were, and I know you’re lonely. So you have to do this, even if you’re afraid.”
Lucy sank into her pillows, relishing the feeling of the soft plush against her back.
Shiloh continued. “So here’s the deal. I go to the dance, without Zach, and I have an amazing time, and maybe make him jealous that he made the stupid decision not to go with me. And you go with Sam and have a good time, too.”
“All right. Sounds like a plan,” Lucy said.