Chardonnay: A Novel

by Jacquilynn Martine

  “It’s not the same...some of the dialect, and mixtures of cultures blinded can create a whole different language all its own. I’m sorry babe.”

  I shook my head,

  “Its okay, I’ve just been looking at these weird words and shapes and I can’t seem to,” I held my breath.

  “Understand what my Pal pal is trying to tell me.” Jase held me. A flood of emotion poured out of me and into his warm arms. Jase rubbed my back hard with a detoxifying force so much that more tears started to release.

  “I can have it translated for you, if you’d like. It will be a couple weeks before it’s done but—”

  “Yes! It don’t matter please—that would mean so much to me.”

  He took the letter and folded it back up neatly, placing it in the envelope I had received it in. I wiped my eyes and decided this thing between Jase and I was all or nothing. I still felt like he was holding back.

  “So why didn’t you turn the other cheek when I left you the way I did?” I asked.

  “Because, I knew you were going through something much deeper than me. I want to tell you the truth about me. I don’t want to hold anything back.”

  “Why do you feel like you can’t tell everything? I mean look at you! I don’t know you Jase—I don’t even recognize your voice.” I said as tears started at the corner of my eyes. He moved closer to me.

  “I don’t tell anybody about my past usually...remember when I asked you what if I was married?” I chuckled and tried not to take in his scent as he touched my face and caressed it. Everything is always too good to be true. I was learning that was true.

  “Who is she Jase?”

  “Who was she...she died, four months ago.”

  “Thought you said you hadn’t had sex in a year before me?”

  “Right.” he said staring at me.

  I looked up at him. He paused before saying,

  “She was the only woman that ever loved me for me.” he stated.

  “How long had you been married?”

  “Not very long. Chardonnay, she died running from me after...I—I...told her about an affair I had.” Jase stood from me clutching his head in his hands. I sat there not sure of what to do, yet moved by his revelation.

  “You alright?”

  He shook his head no. I went to him to rub his back. He turned to face me and said,

  “It’s messed me up—it still does.”

  Myron, I thought. Jase gave me a different light about everything. He seemed so perfect that I had forgotten he was a man. And in a sense I thought, him cheating and being a man didn’t make him a bad person, just a person that had made a mistake. I backed away from Jase.

  “That’s why it’s been difficult for me to say to you what I am...” he said walking towards me. Myron...was all I could think about. His mistakes he made weren’t that bad. Jase locked his eyes into mine and said,

  “I’m in love with you.”

  I shook my head no, only because in the mist of him confessing his passion for me, I made the discernment I was truly in love with two men at the same time. Jase gently picked me up as if he were going to carry me over a threshold—which he was—to the guest house ten feet away he was staying in. He kissed my shaking lips as he walked along the stoned walk that snowed with tea rose petals. When he pushed the door open he let me down and closed it behind us. Without a word Jase unbuttoned my jeans and with no effort at all slipped them over my diamond shaped hips to reveal my black lace and satin boy shorts. He pulled me over to the chaise lounge in the den by the top of my shorts and pulled me down on top of him.

  “You ever wonder what it feels like to get high off love? I have—’cause I’ve never been this high, Chardonnay.”

  I leaned over him and began to take his clothes off as tears fell down his eyes.

  “It’s okay,” I whispered in his ear, kissing his lobe.

  “I’m here, baby.”

  Jase pulled my boy shorts down and then unclipped my bra to release my over buxom titties. Jase stared at my breast in awe.

  “So bountiful...your nipples are so tender and glazed. I wanna milk them in my mouth.” he said with a longing and impatience. I held my breast up and Jase latched on like a baby receiving its first meal.

  When I thought he was about to inject himself—he surprised me in a way I had never been before. He palmed my full bottom with his hands and pushed my flushed with juices pussy in his salivating mouth. Jase made my back arch like a freshly plucked eye brow by a certified makeup artist. I had never been loved in this way, him devouring me like a Thanksgiving fest after an eve of smelling it bake. His pout lips kissed my clit gently and then sucked it...I lost all sanity. My body fell weaker and Jase pulled my ear to his glossed lips,

  “You high yet?”

  I couldn’t even respond,

  “Yeah,” he whispered flipping me over and then slipped all of his ten inches in me—only for me to come right then and there. I shook for about two minutes when he began to come right behind me. I pulled him out half way through his nut and let some of it squirt in my mouth, slurping it like a drinking water fountain. I wanted to taste him as he’d done me, he was greedy with it and I wanted some after watching him eat. He looked over at his clock and said,”It’s six thirty...you eat good?”

  22

  Model Revealed

  I looked at the red ribbon that blew with the wind in my hand Myron had given me before my flight had taken off. I wasn’t sure what to think of it as I looked on at the production team around me for my shoot. We were on Tokey beach with lights, camera, action soon to flow. They were shooting me at dusk with a sunset to follow. Maybe it would have been good for Myron to be superstitious, I thought as I kissed it. In my mind I was okay with having both—but one would have to be let go. And Jase said it himself that men tend to fuck up because that’s human nature. Josh and Micah pranced on to the set in their beach wear looking as if they were on vacation; they ran over in my direction.

  “Girl, why aren’t you dressed?” Micah said pulling me up from the beach chair.

  “I have a robe on,” I moved the top of it back and he saw the golden string bikini I had on.

  “Well that don’t excuse why makeup isn’t done—where’s the nearest shade?” he looked around and Josh pointed over to an umbrella that was occupied by some male crew members ready to get their gawk on.

  “Right there hon—let’s go move them. And oh, Chardonnay this is what’s called a test shoot today.”

  “What that mean?” I said as we walked on to the table. Micah asked the gentlemen if we could use the table.

  “It means everyone is putting in time for free to see what the invested shoot might look like.”

  “So these pictures might not be used.”

  “They won’t be used at all.” she said putting her shades over her eyes and then looking to the side of her. Micah had begun to put my primer on and smooth it out on my face. I couldn’t see who she was looking at, all I heard was Josh saying,

  “Hey there handsome—who are you?”

  Micah looked up and looked back at me, “Um—this might be of concern to you—look over to your left, honey.”

  I looked over and my heart jumped. Myron was standing two feet away with Casablanca lilies in his arms looking so sexy all in a white Adidas sweat suit jumper.

  “Wh—what are you doing here?” I said jumping up.

  “I wanted to surprise you.” he said handing me my flowers and leaning over to kiss me on the cheek.

  “I thought you were in New England.”

  “I was...and then I decided that I needed to be here with you. I got what you mean about me supporting you—I haven’t been there for you in the past like I should have been.” he said with inclination in his tone. Myron’s light brown eyes gazed into mine, his curly hair gently moving with the wind, and his ear dilated for a response. I was just in wonderment. For numerous reasons as well.

  “Don’t need too much more of a support system no
w...any way or you’ll die of over dose.” Micah mumbled under his mouth as he chuckled with Josh. I was glad they found this little situation humorous because I found it terrifying. The directors on the set all began to congregate, along with wardrobe stylist, assistants, lighting crew, and well of course Jase. He was walking down the sandy white beach with his personal assistant Nina Vonseigneur, his cousin as well. I didn’t have to guess what his reaction would be to seeing “flashy jock”. Although he wouldn’t show it on the outside—I knew he was feeling animosity on the inside, which was deadly for Jase.

  I hung my head low as Myron pulled it back up and kissed my lips. Of all the times I’ve ever needed him, why now would he understand the significance. Myron saw my distant body language—but before he could ask what was the matter I was snatched away by an onsite director. Micah finished my makeup swiftly on set and then they moved him so the huge camera could begin to capture my beauty. Myron watched on in the back ground as Jase directed me, telling me which angle was nice as he looked through the monitor himself. Twenty minutes into the shoot Jase got frustrated and yelled a distressed,

  “CUT!”

  Everyone took five. He marched over to me, as Myron looked on, and asked,

  “Is he distracting you being here? Because your face is off.” I turned my head sideways. It struck me as odd that he wasn’t bitching about him being here at all.

  “N-no...well yes I guess—Jase I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was coming and—”

  “Save it. Just make sure you don’t focus on bullshit and forget everything else.”

  “You not mad?” I asked.

  He looked off and looked back at Myron—why did Jase do that! Myron began to walk over.

  “Just make the lens and me love you—think passion—think sex—think me.” He said walking off and harnessed everyone back into action. Myron and Jase walked past each other, Myron mugging him—Jase not acknowledging him and being a business man.

  “The fuck that was about?” Myron asked.

  I shook my head, his approach compared to Jase’s—night and day.

  “We’ll talk later.” I said and posed for the camera.

  * * * *

  After the shoot was over Jase looked happy as he looked back at the over one thousand shots we did with the photographer. I did two wardrobe changes after the gold bikini I had on to a lime green full body with cut out sides. I posed in the sand with that one. The last change in wardrobe, hair and makeup was the best series.

  They put me in a hot pink crow shaded cotton swimsuit that was full body but totally see through. I knew Myron was losing his mind for good and bad reasons. My crotch area was knitted tight so there was nothing to be seen there. My hair stylist Knitasha (Natasha), put mousse in my hair and combed her fingers through it—making my straight hair go curly. Micah played up my eyes with a shiny hot pink shadow and purple lips. A gold sprayed mist was placed on my full body to give a bronzed skin look. It came out hot! I looked through the pictures with Jase and he gave me a hug to symbolize a job well done.

  “You took some great shoots after you concentrated.”

  “Thanks Jase. Look, I have to handle something.” I said looking at him.

  He looked as if he understood and nodded his head walking off.

  I met Myron back at his hotel he was staying in. I didn’t know how I would tell him to go back home and I didn’t need him now, but it had to be done. How ironic he would be there for me when I had begun to find my own way. I knocked on his door and waited for an answer. A few seconds later I heard it unlock and as he opened it Myron stood there with an anguished look on his face. I pushed him back and walked in.

  “Myron, plain and simple, I can’t do us anymore.”

  “I knew it!” he said as he slammed the door.

  “I knew when you came down here this shit was wrong! What he do, huh! Bye you a million islands—huh! What—give you a mansion?”

  “No! He showed me what a real man is!”

  “With his money! I can do this shit for you and you know it!”

  “Yeah but it won’t be legal! Plus this is business, Myron—it’s not just about him.”

  “Man whatever. And I have my own shit now—a million dollar contract, so don’t throw that shit in my face.”

  “I won’t throw it in your face anyway, because the matter of the fact is it isn’t about the money. Jase showed me what a real man is. Hell I was in love with him before I knew he had money!”

  Myron got quiet. He sighed and then said,

  “So, you’re in love with this dude?”

  I hesitantly answered,

  “Yeah, I am. But he doesn’t know that.”

  “Look, Chardonnay. Whether you realize it or not, I’m a changed man. I’m ready to turn a new leaf with you. Please...” Myron got down on his knees putting his hands in prayer position.

  “Please baby.”

  I closed my eyes as he gripped my thighs breaking down crying. This man...I had known my whole life...he was all I knew. I raised Myron face and bended down with him.

  “You gotta do right this time Myron, or else.”

  I kissed his face as he wept like a child. That little boy I meet in the high weeds of their back yard who had found me...lost in a world I didn’t know, much like he had found me now. For the rest of that night I stayed there with him, just lying in the bed in the dark.

  * * * *

  Once morning seeped into the blinds I could feel Myron move from the bed. I lay there watching him walk to the rest room and pulling his manhood out his sweat pants, urinating into the stool. My heart wept as I turned over interrogating the thought of being broken hearted over one guy while being in love with another at the same time. Our room phone rung and Myron looked over as he was now brushing his teeth.

  “I’ll get it,” I said leaning over.

  “Hello?”

  “Miss Chardonnay Houston?”

  “Yes,” I said sitting up.

  “Mr. Vonseigneur sends for you. He says it’s very important you meet him at his parent’s home immediately.”

  “With whom am I speaking with?”

  Myron began to slowly walk in the room with a nonchalant swagger as he let his tooth brush hang from his foaming mouth. I looked up at him as I hung the phone up.

  “What’s that all about?”

  “Nothing. I have to go to a meeting their having.”

  “Don’t lie to me, man.”

  “Alright well, Jase wants to see me.”

  “Yeah, obviously. Look, I told you how I feel. I can’t keep you from going to see that man.”

  I nearly choked.

  “What? No, holding me physically back? No telling me what I am going to do?”

  Myron shook his head no.

  “I already told you, I love you and if you love some—”

  “Thing you’ll let it go.” I said smiling.

  “Yeah,” He said smiling and holding his arms out. I hugged him and kissed his supple lips.

  Getting to Jase’s parents home was a hop and a skip from where Myron’s hotel was. There was a small path that leads to the drifting sands and a wide passage that I could see the home with lighted candles in each window. When I got half way across the board walk Jase walked out the front doors. He met me half way. Once again his hands were in his cargo pants as he galloped in a steady pace towards me. I watched him as I stopped and wondered to myself, why he had to be so fine. If this decision was made on looks alone, albeit Myron was cold, Jase would win hands down. He stopped when he got a foot away from me and looked into my face.

  “I take it your leaving with him.” he said first.

  My mouth parted, caught in its defense, seemingly because he had put words in my mouth. I hadn’t thought of it that way, leaving with him.

  “I have a history with him...I just can’t let it go like that.”

  “Yeah...like you have a history with me.”

  Silence.

  We stared at each other befor
e he gave out a misplaced laughed.

  “I should of known...your young—why should I of expected something more with you?’

  “Jase,” I said holding on to his arm as he turned away,

  “I meant well, some things get complicated.”

  “No—what’s complicated is that you think I’m stupid.”

  “I never said that—”

  “You really don’t remember me do you?”

  I looked in his hazed eyes trying to understand him and his rambled emotions.

  “Jase, What? What are you talking about?”

  “Just go Chardonnay...please for the both of us.” he said trying to walk away.

  “Jase! Please! Tell me what you mean?”

  “I never told you that my mother and father ever married...I went to Kansas City this past May to do business and stop in and see family...a part of my family I haven’t seen since I was...seven. My father left us here to run his business, and my mother eventually took us to the states shorty after to run after him. He made a settlement with her that if he gave her the business he started and put it in her maiden name—that we’d never have to worry about a damn thing—or him ever coming home,” Jase looked at me with full tears in his eyes,

  “I thought Jean—”

  “He is my father, the only one I’ve ever known. My grandfather.”

  “Jase I’m sorry...”

  His head tilted as he glanced at my hand.

  “Not as sorry as I am...that’s a nice ring on your finger.” I looked at my right hand with the five carat past, present, future diamonds Myron had given me as a promise ring.

  “Yeah, so?”

  “How’d it get on your finger?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean like who gave it to you? Who put it on your finger—do you recall?”

  “Myron.”

  Jase swallowed hard and shook his head making his greased locks sparkle in the dwelling sun light.

  “Jase, why are you asking me this?”

  “Because nobody else seems to want to ask you anything. No one seems to care about you the way I do.”

  “You have a lot of nerve—hiding shit from me like I’m a gold digger! How do you think I felt?!”