Every Breath

by Tasha Ivey

  Wow. I couldn’t have said that better myself. We may have different roads that brought us to this point, but it’s nice to know that, for the first time, someone gets it. Someone understands what it’s like to wonder if life ever gets any better. “Hope is a new concept for me, too, and I think I like it.”

  Sawyer smiles down at me sweetly just as the sky opens up and frigid rain starts soaking my jacket. “We better get inside.” He starts to turn, but I grab his hand and pull him back to me, using my free hand to touch his cheek.

  I look up at him and watch tiny droplets of water drip from his hair and stream down his perfect face. His smile fades away when I release his hand to reach into his jacket to wrap my arm around his back, effectively pressing my body against his. I can feel every breath he takes, but I’m not sure who is breathing faster. This is it. This is the moment that I’ve been waiting for.

  I wipe the back of my hand across his cheek just as a solitary drop trails from the bridge of his nose and onto his mouth. Without even thinking about it, I graze my thumb across his lips to wipe it away. Glancing up at his eyes, I know there’s no turning back now, nor do I want to.

  Moving my hand around the back of his neck, I simultaneously stretch up as I pull him down to me. Knowing this is something I need to do on my own, he doesn’t take control; he merely follows my cues. I brush my lips against his once, and my mouth involuntarily opens on a gasp. I take his bottom lip between mine and sweep my tongue across it, and before I know it, I have both of my hands at each side of his head and crushing his mouth to mine. He ever-so-gently dips his tongue between my parted lips and groans softly as he tangles his fingers into my hair. I can feel his other hand pressed to the small of my back and his fingertips skimming the narrow strip of flesh exposed under the hem of my shirt, sending goose bumps up my spine.

  The sweet taste of his mouth, the feel of his warm body pressed against mine . . . it’s intoxicating, and I don’t want this moment to ever end. But it does, far too quickly.

  He pulls back suddenly and looks at me intently. “We should go inside.” It’s almost like a slap in the face.

  “Did I do something wrong?” I mean, I know I’m out of practice with this sort of thing, but I thought it was nothing short of amazing. Perfect.

  “Are you serious?” He chuckles and kisses me softly. “I could kiss you every second of my life and it wouldn’t be enough.” Shane’s exact words to me on the night he died. It should bother me, but for some reason, it makes me smile. “It’s just . . . if I don’t stop now, this could get interesting. A little more interesting than the people in that coffee shop have bargained for.”

  I crane my neck around to follow his gaze to see at least six people watching us from the window. One of which, is Drew. “Shit.”

  “Problem?”

  I look back up at him and sigh. “Drew.”

  “Oh yeah?” Sawyer squints, trying to pick him out of the crowd. “Tall, goofy bastard?”

  “Yep.” I hope Drew doesn’t come out here and start something. I know firsthand that he’s perfectly capable of crazy. Not that I don’t think Sawyer could handle him, because he could, I just don’t want any drama. I don’t want anything to ruin the euphoria from that kiss. I’m going to be thinking about that for days.

  Sawyer waves at the crowd, but I know exactly whom he’s really waving at. “Let’s go check on Darcy.”

  I look down at my soaked clothes and frown. “When did it stop raining anyway?”

  “I have no idea,” he snickers. “Come here.” He takes my hand, walks me to his car, and opens the back door. Then, he pulls out that buttery soft leather jacket that he was wearing the night he came to my house on his motorcycle. I unzip my hoodie, which is heavy with rain, and toss it into the floorboard of the car. Unfortunately, I’m not the only one who notices that my pale pink t-shirt is also wet. Thank God I didn’t just throw on an old sports bra this morning. Sawyer is a gentleman, though, and he tries his hardest to pretend he didn’t notice. But he does help me into his jacket and zips it all the way up to my neck. I’m not sure if that’s to keep other people from seeing or him from staring at me. Either way, it’s pretty damn hilarious.

  We go back inside just when they’re hooking Darcy up to an I.V., and Dr. Luciano finishes reviewing her tests. She is still waiting on her blood tests to come back, but she said her x-rays looked great, which is a huge relief. Her main concern is just what she said earlier: dehydration. So, she wants to keep her overnight, for sure, if not a little longer.

  Darcy is certainly not enjoying the tubes and wires stuck all over her, so the doctor gives her something to make her sleepy. After I peek outside to make sure that Drew’s truck is gone from the coffee shop, Sawyer decides to go ahead and go because he has to meet an electrician at my house, but I stay at her side for a bit, rubbing her tummy and scratching her favorite spot behind her ears, until she’s sleeping soundly. Dr. Luciano promises to give me a call when all of the tests come back, so I reluctantly leave Darcy in her capable hands for the night. As much as I don’t want to leave her, I know they’ll take excellent care of her, and she’ll be getting pumped full of medicine to make her feel better.

  After I make sure Kate has my cell phone number, I walk out to my car and find Drew leaning against the driver’s side door. He must’ve been watching all along and knew that Sawyer had already left.

  “You know,” he says as I approach him cautiously, “I find it pretty interesting that, for months, anytime I came near you, you’d practically hyperventilate. And now this guy comes along, and a couple days later, I catch you sucking face with him in an alley. After that show you put on out there in front of everybody, I’d be willing to bet that’s not all you’re sucking. Actually, I’d love to talk to him and find out how good that sweet ass is since I’m the one that worked for it for so long. He should thank me. I did all the work, and he’s getting all the benefits.”

  I stop on the other side of my car, wanting to have some kind of barricade from him. “Drew, this has nothing to do with you. I said all I needed to say to you the other night, and I’m not going to discuss it any further. You need to just stay away from me.”

  “Oooh, and you didn’t deny the fact that you’re screwing him either, so I guess I’m right about that. If I had to guess, I’d say you probably gave it up that night you left me. You sure didn’t waste any time going to his house.”

  “How do you know I was there? Are you following me now?”

  He cackles like a hyena. “Seriously? He lives on the same highway as I do. Do you really think I wouldn’t notice your car there?”

  “He lives miles outside of town. You shouldn’t have any reason to go by there.”

  “Well,” he drawls out. “I did that night. I was upset and wanted to go for a drive.”

  I don’t believe a word that’s coming out of his mouth. “Let me give you some advice. Stay away from me, Drew. I mean it. Don’t call, don’t follow me, and if you see me at school or on the street, you better act like you don’t even know me. We’re over. End of story.”

  A sly grin spreads his lips, and he starts walking around the car toward me. “Oh? Well, what are you going to do about it if I don’t take your advice?”

  With every step he takes, I take another one in retreat. Backing away from him slowly, I try to calculate how quickly I can get back inside the vet’s office if he comes at me. “I’ll file a restraining order. Think of what that will do to your new coaching job, or even your job here.”

  “So,” he shrugs. “I didn’t have that job anyway. I put in for it, but I didn’t get it. I just wanted to get you away from here, so I’d have you all to myself. I knew that I could get a job with the team eventually. And after a meeting with the school board and superintendent earlier this week, I was asked to resign. Effective immediately. They accused me of abusing prescription pain killers, and the damn drug test they did was rigged, I know it. Don’t you see how everything is falling apart without you
in my life?”

  An opiate addiction would explain a lot of his behaviors lately, actually. But it doesn’t explain everything. “The weekend you flew to Indianapolis for the interview?” I’m afraid I’m not ever going to get out of here without an intervention, so I slip my hand into my pocket and hit the call button twice, knowing it will redial the most recent call. Sawyer. My house is not far from here, so it shouldn’t take him long to get to me.

  “It was a necessary lie. I went up there, but they shot me down. I ended up meeting up with some old friends and getting so drunk that I missed my flight back. I had to wait until the next day.”

  I’m not sure why I didn’t see it before. He’s completely freaking insane. I hear Sawyer’s muffled answer, so I try to let him know what’s going on without Drew knowing. “Just stay away from me, Drew.” I raise my voice a little higher than normal, hoping he can hear me. “I’ve been here at the vet’s office all morning, so I’d really like to go home.”

  “Oh, but don’t you mean soldier boy’s house? Or are you calling that ‘home’ now?”

  He’s really pissing me off. I just thought the reason that I couldn’t have a relationship with him was all me, but clearly, it’s him. “That’s not any of your business. You need to let it go.”

  “Not a chance. I let go once before . . . with Amy. That’s not going to happen this time. I told you that you’d come back to me, and I still believe that. I’m not giving up on us. That guy is like a new toy. You’re gonna get sick of playing with him eventually, and then maybe you’ll realize how good you had it with me. I’m not just a toy. You can’t drop me that easily.”

  I hear tires squealing nearby right before the punch of a powerful engine. Sawyer pulls up behind my car, slamming on his brakes and jumping out of the car almost simultaneously. Drew looks over at me, his smug appearance is dripping with vile humor.

  “Makenna, get in my car, darlin’.” Sawyer says sweetly as he approaches me. His body says something completely different, though. His fists are clenched tightly at his sides, and I can see tight cords of muscle bulging from his neck. He’s eyeing Drew with almost inhuman intensity.

  “Okay.” I shuffle backwards to his car, so I can watch Drew to make sure he’s not following me. As soon as I bump into it, I yank the door open and fling myself inside, locking the door. Cracking the window slightly, I strain to listen to what they are saying to each other.

  “Good. I was hoping to get to meet you face-to-face,” Drew confesses, now sounding completely normal. He can turn it off like a disturbing little switch.

  Sawyer stands tall and clasps his hands behind his back, looking very much like a soldier. “Well, here I am. Looks like your wish came true.”

  “It did. So tell me, is she good? I got her all warmed up for you, so I’m just curious if it was worth my efforts.”

  Sawyer doesn’t flinch. He’s not at all affected by Drew’s inappropriate prodding. “Well, I guess that’s something you’ll never have the privilege of finding out.”

  He snorts. “Privilege? That’s hilarious. She’s nothing but a tease, pretending to be a weak, broken woman just so she can get what she wants from a man. Looks like she’s fooled you, but I figured her out a long time ago.”

  “Well, she can take all she wants from me, but since you figured her out, I guess that means you won’t have any trouble leaving her alone from now on.”

  “I’m not going to have to leave her alone. She’s going to wise up before long and come running back to me. But until then, I’m calling a truce, okay?” Drew walks around my car, offering his hand to Sawyer, but I’m a little more than suspicious of his actions.

  I haven’t ever seen them standing near each other before, so this is the first time I’ve been able to compare the size difference between them. Sawyer told me once that he’s 6’3”, and Drew is easily four inches taller, and also a little broader. But after seeing his dad, I think Drew is just naturally a big guy, not necessarily all that strong, because I never really saw him doing much to stay fit. Sawyer, though, is very athletic and takes good care of himself, running and lifting every day. I’m not all that worried about him being able to handle himself.

  Sawyer takes one hand from behind his back to shake Drew’s hand, but like me, he’s braced for a fight. Their right hands meet in a firm handshake, and as expected, Drew swings his left fist right at Sawyer’s face. Sawyer ducks away just in time and is able to catch his wrist. In one fluid motion, he twists Drew’s arm behind his back until it looks like it could snap any second. Drew is in agony.

  “Tell me you’re going to leave her alone, and I’ll let you go.”

  “Yes! Fine! I’ll stay away from her!” Drew’s face is contorted in pain.

  Sawyer releases him and steps back, ready in case he attacks again. Which he does.

  Just as Drew lunges for him, Sawyer pops him right in the jaw, causing him to slump to the ground, stunned. “Are you done? I can do this all day if you’re up to it.”

  Drew rubs his jaw and shakes his head. “I’m done. I’m done.”

  “Good. I highly suggest you stay that way because if you so much as look in her direction again, I promise you I won’t be done for a long time.”

  Sawyer stalks away, leaving him on the ground, and immediately looks me over when he gets in the car. “Did he touch you?”

  “No. I’m okay. I was just scared that he would.”

  He pulls me close, and his mouth claims mine, devouring me in a way that I forgot was even possible. It’s sweet and scorching hot, and since Drew’s still watching, maybe even a tad territorial.

  But I love it.

  “So you’re not seeing that coach anymore, and you already have another boyfriend that you like enough to bring to Christmas? My, my . . . I’m proud of you, Scout. It’s nice to hear you’re playing the field again.” I hear my dad’s muffled chuckling through the phone. Since today is Christmas Eve, I thought it was probably about time I mentioned Sawyer to them.

  “You won’t mind if he comes tomorrow?”

  “Are you kidding? Your momma is jumping up and down and clapping like a seal as we speak. We’d love to have him.” He mumbles something unrecognizable to my mom. “Hey, talk to your mom.”

  She snatches the phone from him before I can respond. “Hi, honey. What’s his name? What does he do? How long have you known him? I’ll bet he’s smokin’ hot.”

  “Whoa, wait . . . did you just say ‘smokin’ hot?’”

  “Yeah, why? Isn’t that what you kids say these days?”

  “Uh, I guess.” My mom . . . there are no boundaries with her.

  “Well . . . is he? Hot?”

  I sigh. Oh, jeez. “Very much so.”

  “You’ve always had good taste like me. Tell me all about him.”

  I end up talking on the phone with my mom for over an hour, which is nice since I haven’t talked to her much lately. I don’t tell her any details about Sawyer’s past, but I do tell her that he had a rough childhood and she shouldn’t mention anything about his family. I tell her how we met and all about the last few days we’ve spent together, failing to mention, of course, that I’m practically living with him right now. And also leaving out all the bits about Drew.

  By the time I hang up the phone, she’s masterminded these grand plans for tomorrow, and I almost feel sorry for Sawyer, knowing she’s going to be doting on him every second. I know they’re going to love him, though, and I’m pretty sure he’ll like them. That is, if they don’t scare him off.

  I peek at the clock on the microwave and decide it’s time to get showered and changed. Sawyer is planning a big reveal of my house tonight, and he’s been all giddy about it. This morning, we dropped by to check on Darcy, who was just really dehydrated, and afterward, he took me shopping to replace most of what was destroyed. He’s having all of it delivered this afternoon and setting it up.

  There was something so domestic about shopping for couches with him, and it kind of felt like w
e were playing ‘house’ like I did when I was a little girl. Except when I was a little girl, I didn’t imagine being pulled onto a couch in the back of a furniture store and being thoroughly kissed until my toes curled. And, yeah, that’s the couch I bought.

  He said he’d pick me up here at six o’clock, so that gives me just over an hour to get ready. Normally I don’t need anywhere near that long, but he told me to dress up, so I don’t know what he has up his sleeve. He even went as far as picking up several dresses and pairs of shoes from my house and bringing them over. I’m almost scared to see which ones he brought. I know a lady would understand when I say this, but I know a man’s idea of fashion and mine are two incredibly different things. I’m not going to be surprised at all if there is a crotch-length spandex dress and hooker heels in there.

  After I exfoliate every inch of my body, wash and condition my hair, and practically shave my entire body, I put on some light makeup, paying more attention to my eyes than anything, and I style my soft dark chocolate hair into long, loose curls. Once I’ve decided there’s nothing more that can be done, I walk into Sawyer’s closet. I love the smell in here. It smells like fabric softener, leather, and . . . just . . . man. And it’s doing some crazy things to my body right now. I swear my hormones are on Ecstasy.

  Sliding each hanger across the pole, I survey each dress that Sawyer brought, and I’m shocked that he didn’t do half bad. He even managed to get a few of my favorites. After I move the next to the last one over, I realize the last one is in a garment bag. I can’t remember anything in my closet being in a bag. Oh, unless you count the hideous dress I wore to prom in the tenth grade, but that bag is white. This one is black.

  I pull the zipper down halfway to find a little note pinned inside.

  Once I slip the bag all the way off, a stunning, slinky black dress is revealed. In the front, it looks like your average little black dress, a form-fitting, knee-length, sleeveless number. But when I turn it around, I notice that the back dips way down, draping beautifully about halfway down the back. It’s a simple style, but also so incredibly sexy, it’s almost intimidating. I’m not so sure I can live up to the sexiness that is this dress.