Anarchy of the Heart (The Complete Erotic Novel)

by Max Sebastian

  This afternoon was more like a first date, with the assured, experienced European couple taking things easily, and the unversed American couple happy to take guidance from them.

  At times, though, it made Leo wonder if either Caitlyn had made up the whole thing about challenging their boundaries with these guys - or whether Marco and Sofia had quietly decided over lunch that they didn't want to be with Leo and Caitlyn.

  Perhaps Leo himself was not up to standards for this confident Spaniard and his glamorous French girlfriend.

  As the evening rolled in, Leo was beginning to wonder if he and Caitlyn had made the grade. He only had the friendly body language of Marco and Sofia to go by until, at last, the conversation started heading towards relationship issues.

  Chapter Five

  "So Leo, you two are getting married soon? Caitlyn's ring is very nice," Sofia was saying.

  Leo smiled at his fiancée, who stretched out her hand to show off her glittering diamond. He said: "Caitlyn's already planning it all, but it's not likely to happen for another six months or so."

  "Very exciting. You're looking forward to it?"

  "Absolutely. I think once it happens, it'll be a wonderful day."

  "I'm sure the bride will make sure of that," Marco said, raising a glass in silent toast to Caitlyn. Then he asked Leo: "You think when you're married, things will be different?"

  "I don't see why they should," he replied. "It's still just us - we already live together, we do everything together. Marriage is just telling everyone else this is how it is for the rest of our lives - and having everyone else recognize it."

  "I guess being married is more like a bureaucratic thing than anything these days," Caitlyn said, taking a sip of wine. "In the States, you get tax benefits, and so on. But it'd still just be us, as we always intended, doing what we're doing."

  Sofia laughed, "Marriage has changed for our generation, has it not? No longer so necessary when you want to be with someone long-term."

  Caitlyn asked her: "How about you and Marco - are you ever tempted to tie the knot?"

  Sofia smiled, "We're going to wait until we're thirty," she said, as though it were very much decided. "We're like you, I think. Not in a rush. I don't know if there's much benefit for us to be married at the moment."

  Marco said: "And, like you, we know we're together... how do you say? Until death do us part?"

  Sofia looked into Marco's eyes, and Leo could see a tenderness between them. The two of them had been together longer than even he and Caitlyn, which had seemed surprising to Leo at first as they discussed how the two had met while Sofia had attended university in Madrid.

  "You think you will be as happy to try new things when you are married?" Marco asked, and it was the closest Leo thought they had come to discussing the real subject at hand, since they'd started their lunch.

  "I'd hope so," Leo said, looking over to Caitlyn, who was blushing a little again.

  "Sure, we'll try new things," his fiancée said, sounding self-assured, despite her pink glow. "But some things are worth trying before marriage - you know?"

  "It's a good idea," Sofia agreed as Caitlyn glanced her way for female support.

  Looking at each of the pale Americans, Marco said calmly, reassuringly, "It's good to try things. Try, and not feel bad if it's not for you."

  Caitlyn took a huge sip of wine. Feeling the pressure and anxiety building inside him, Leo felt a little envious that they'd decided he would drive today. He could have done with a little alcoholic cushioning.

  He could see his fiancée trying to be calm as she said: "We're on vacation. If you can't try new things on vacation, when can you?"

  Truthfully, Leo was actually quite impressed with his fiancée. After their five years or so together, it was increasingly rare for her to genuinely surprise him, but this weekend he'd come to see a new side to her, and it was remarkable how bold she was being in exploring it.

  Marco asked Leo: "So, my friend, how are you feeling about trying new things on this vacation?"

  Leo quietly caught his breath, the Spaniard's question like a sharp dagger through the chest. It was crunch time, they could all see that. Leo did his utmost to seem cool and collected as he paused a moment or two.

  Was this it? Was he going to say the wrong thing?

  He could feel the little box of condoms in his back pocket, jabbing in to his rear. It brought to mind the idea of Caitlyn, with her own little box, slipping a rubber onto Marco's hard cock so that he could push it inside her. Could he handle that? Could he cope with that sudden violation of the monogamous assumptions upon which their relationship had always been based?

  Could Caitlyn cope if he slipped a condom over his own erect cock, and slipped it between the golden thighs of this blonde angel now sitting beside him?

  Leo looked over to his fiancée, who was breathing deeply, her pale face glowing lightly, and she gave him a little nod, visible only to him, signifying that she was sure.

  Leo took a gulp of water, and trying to be as self-assured as Caitlyn was being, he said: "I'm feeling pretty good about trying new things this vacation."

  *

  The four of them toasted to trying new things, and to a wonderful vacation for them all, and it was quite clear that a decision had been made.

  If anything, it seemed to cut some of the tension between them all after that. Making that particular decision was something they didn't have to do any more.

  Leo felt a little numb, though underneath he was fairly excited that Marco and Sofia, whom he really liked after a wonderful afternoon together, were going to help himself and Caitlyn explore this strange new frontier of their relationship.

  "Whatever happens," Marco said, slow and serious, "if anyone here at any time feels uncomfortable, feels bad, wants it to stop, do not hold your tongue."

  The Spaniard was looking each of them in the eyes, with utmost gravity. He said: "You tell us, we stop, or we slow down, or whatever is best." Then he added: "And no one will judge you for it. We do not think you are bad because you do not like what is happening."

  Leo looked to Caitlyn, and then to Sofia, and everyone around the table was nodding their agreement, their faces all serious as though they were planning to rob a bank.

  Marco said, "Leo, would you permit me a kiss from your beautiful fiancée?"

  Leo did well to hide the little gasp that now emerged. Well, if he couldn't handle a kiss, he couldn't handle anything. Caitlyn was looking at him, waiting for his approval, sitting there almost demurely. That was curious in itself: she'd never really been one to be told what to do, or who to do it with.

  He took a deep breath, and the excessive hit of oxygen was somewhat calming. "Of course," he said, smiling. "You don't need my permission, Marco. Caitlyn can speak for herself."

  The corners of Marco's mouth squeezed down and he nodded, in a kind of salute to Leo's courage. If he'd been wearing a hat, perhaps he might even have doffed it. Then he turned to Caitlyn, the same question in his eyes.

  Caitlyn looked so self-conscious, blanching and then flushing, looking across at Leo one last time with an expression that was no longer about whether her fiancé was sure about this, but seemingly asking him silently if he realized quite how bizarre this situation was.

  Leo just grinned back at her, and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. His heart was pounding again, even at this stage.

  Caitlyn turned back to Marco, both of them smiling as they looked at each other, their heads closing together, Caitlyn touching her forehead gently against the Spaniard's putting a tentative hand on his shoulder. And then the two of them were tilting their heads, and nudging their faces in together, lips applying to lips, with Caitlyn's other hand rising up to touch his cheek and encircle the back of his head.

  In that shady little corner of the restaurant, the kiss seemed to go on for an age.

  Leo found himself beaming brightly, thinking how adorable his fiancée was, how peculiar, but how exhilarating it was to watc
h her kissing this man, enjoying the touch of this stranger.

  As they kissed, Leo glanced at Sofia, who was looking at him almost with a note of concern, her face asking him silently how he was doing, whether he was coping, how he felt about this first transgression. He smiled at her, reassuring her he was okay, and she broke into a smile himself, her face so pretty it made him feel warm inside just to invoke such an expression.

  At last, Caitlyn and Marco broke apart, and Leo saw how breathless his fiancée was, the look of stunned surprise on her face.

  Leo felt fairly stunned himself, but the biggest surprise of all was just how much the sense of exhilaration superseded his underlying fear. He looked into Caitlyn's eyes now, and thought her so overwhelmingly sexy with that bashful flush across her face once again, making her seem so vulnerable and yet at the same time somehow courageous.

  The way she'd blushed like that before, when they'd been up at the villa in their little role play acts, Leo now wondered if kissing Marco in real life made her as wet as it had in her imagination. The belief that it had was quietly thrilling for Leo.

  "Leo."

  For a moment, he almost forgot there was another woman at their table, sitting next to him, in fact.

  Then he turned to find her, Sofia, looking at him with those big dreamy blue eyes, leaning in to actually kiss him.

  Wow.

  He didn't get a moment to look over to Caitlyn, to see if she was okay with this. His senses were suddenly saturated by this beautiful French girl, her soft lips touching against his, her exotic perfume saturating the air he breathed, her hand gently pulling him toward her as he tasted her sweet mouth, detecting the tang of the wine on her lips and her tongue.

  His whole body pulsed with energy as she kissed him, and he tried to respond to Sofia with the same tender passion. As he kissed her, he could see down her front to her firm breasts, and the sight just seemed to emphasize how stunning Sofia was - she was all sugary softness and golden curves.

  And yet somehow, what made it seem even more exciting with the knowledge that as the French girl kissed him, and he kissed her back, toying with her tongue and sucking on her lips, Caitlyn could see what was happening, and she now had to deal with all these powerful feelings as well, as her fiancé kissed another woman.

  At last, Sofia pulled away, and even in her experienced face, Leo thought he detected a slight flush.

  "Your fiancé is an incredible kisser, Caitlyn!" Sofia said, breathless.

  "I've always thought so."

  Leo turned to his fiancée to find that she was smiling apparently with pride, looking at him and Sofia as though loaning her man out to the French girl was merely confirming her own flawless taste in having him in the first place.

  Marco was laughing, and offering Leo a little silent applause, a "bravo" on his lips. The Spaniard said: "We are going to have a good vacation this year, Sofia, I can tell this already."

  Sofia was smiling as well, and then they all were - it was highly infectious.

  Marco looked at his watch. "How the time flies, huh?" he said, and suddenly launched himself up, signaling for the check. L'addition, s'il vous plait.

  "Okay," said the Spaniard to them, placing his hands on the table in front of them, fingers interlinking, almost as though he were about to say grace. "So, stop me if you have a better idea, but I think it would be good to take this slowly, and not blunder into anything."

  He looked at them, as though waiting for approval or perhaps an alternative idea.

  Feeling that Marco was craving some kind of mandate to tell them all what to do, Leo said to him: "You probably know best."

  Marco nodded gratefully Leo's way. He said: "I think it would be nice for us to get to know each other a little more, but if all of us are together, maybe we do not quite get to know each other individually as well as if we were apart."

  Caitlyn wrinkled her brow a little, and Marco saw that perhaps he wasn't finding quite the right words for what he meant.

  The Spaniard said: "I think it might be nice if Sofia took Leo to dinner, perhaps at another nice little place near here, while I will take the delightful Caitlyn for dinner in a separate location."

  Caitlyn was nodding, Leo too.

  "Then..." Marco said, his voice rising a little in pitch as he raised an index finger as though it was a wand, "then, if all goes well, Sofia will go home with you, Leo, while Caitlyn will return home with me."

  Leo strongly suspected he was blushing as profusely as Caitlyn was as they all looked at each other now, nodding consent to the plan.

  In a low voice now, as if conspiring against some kind of government forces, Marco said to them: "We will take things slowly, we will take things steadily, we will not rush. At any stage of the evening or the night, if anyone is feeling bad, feeling uncomfortable - perhaps with what is happening to them, perhaps at what they would know is happening with their partner - then you can call the others, and it will stop. No questions asked."

  Like four bandits preparing to rob a bank, they looked each other in the eyes, approving the plan.

  Marco said finally: "Good. We will get to know each other comfortably, we will get to know each other calmly, and tonight perhaps... we will get to know each other intimately."

  *

  It was almost seven thirty already as they stepped outside, leaving the restaurant as hungry as they'd entered it earlier that day.

  "Where are you going to take him?" Leo could hear Caitlyn asking Sofia as they strolled along.

  "Oh, I know this wonderful place near the port. We'll have to make sure Marco takes you there some time this week."

  Some time this week - Leo had been so focused on what was happening right now, in the moment, he hardly even considered the fact that if tonight went well, they could be spending time with Marco and Sofia for the rest of the vacation. It was going to be quite different from any vacation they'd ever taken.

  "I'm looking forward to seeing your villa," Sofia said, "from what you've said, it sounds lovely..."

  "You'll love it," Caitlyn smiled.

  Marco patted Leo on the back as they walked. "So, my friend," he said. "We will take things slowly, right?"

  "Right," Leo smiled, "No need to rush things, huh?"

  "And you know, those butterflies flying around in your stomach... if they get too bad, you start feeling the panic eating you up..."

  "I know, then I should call you."

  "Exactly," Marco said, patting him on the back again. "No one will feel angry or anything at all. And it would not spoil the vacation."

  "No."

  "Maybe it would just mean we need to take things even more slowly."

  "Of course."

  Sofia brought them to a halt as a street turned off towards the old port, indicating that she and Leo were going to head off in a different direction to Marco and Caitlyn.

  Those butterflies in Leo's stomach that Marco had been referring to were busy inside his belly, fluttering away. Caitlyn tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned to find himself ambushed by his fiancée, who launched herself at him, flinging her arms around his neck and kissing him forcefully.

  He opened up into her kiss, breathing in that same new citrus perfume she was wearing, holding her tightly around the waist as she embraced him.

  "You know how much I love you, don't you?" she said, as they finally broke apart.

  "Of course I do," he said. "And you..."

  "I know," she grinned.

  Sofia and Marco were talking in Spanish together, casual, giving their new friends ample opportunity to say their goodbyes in this potentially pivotal moment in their relationship.

  "Are you sure you're sure about all this?" Caitlyn said to Leo, earnest, understanding.

  Leo took a deep breath. Yes. He was certain in his head that he wanted to at least try this, and it wasn't just because Sofia was a beautiful girl.

  Something about the thought of Caitlyn going off with someone else, with Marco, appealed for some reason
. He wasn't sure whether it was the almost exquisite pinch of pain and excitement, or the thought of how exhilarated his beloved fiancée would be from it all. Or even the thought that while he was away with Sofia, his fiancée would be feeling that same powerful mix of emotions from the thought of what the French girl was doing with him.

  Perhaps it was a purely selfish thought that allowing Caitlyn freedom meant he himself could spend time with Sofia guilt-free.

  But oh, how Caitlyn would blush when the Spaniard was with her - that notion alone turned Leo on like nothing else. He had a fetish concerning his fiancée's blushes.

  "Yes," he said, making certain he sounded as confident as he could. "I'm sure. Are you sure?"

  She nodded. Her face was so bright, so full of energy, and yet underneath it all, looking into those big green eyes, he could see how nervous she was. She said: "It's just a vacation, right?"

  "We'll have fun," he said.

  "Yes, we will, won't we? And you'll enjoy being with Sofia, and you won't be afraid."

  He shook his head gently. "And you'll have a good time with Marco," he said, "And when you're ready, you'll get to know him... intimately."

  Caitlyn blushed furiously. It quite took Leo's breath away.

  She said, "You still have your... purchase... from the pharmacy?"

  He nodded, batting the little cardboard box in his back pocket. "You?"

  "Yes. And you'll call me, won't you? If you feel bad."

  "Of course I will, and you'll call me, likewise?"

  She nodded, swallowed. It was strange, it felt like some kind of airport parting, that they wouldn't be seeing each other for a long while. Leo took a deep breath, feeling the peculiar sensation that he was welling up, that if he didn't control himself, there might even be tears.

  Perhaps, in a way, this would be the last time he saw Caitlyn. This Caitlyn. They might be very different people the next time they were in each others' arms.

  This was the risk that they were taking. The pursuit of a genuine thrill rarely came without a price.