by Nancy Hopper
They stopped for something to eat on the way home. There was a little roadside cafe, that Tasha thought looked tacky. However, she didn't mention it. Things were a little strained after the mention of money.
Gary was guarded and quiet, and everything Tasha said seemed to irritate him. She finally decided that if he was going to be so terribly grouchy, she’d indulge herself by venting her spleen. She would gladly do her best to torment him.
When he opened the van door to help her down, she pretended to slip, and fell against his body. He caught her efficiently and set her on the ground, well away from him.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” she giggled.
Gary ignored her comment, and gestured for her to go ahead of him. “After you.” he insisted stiffly.
“Why, thank you.” she said primly.
It was nicer inside than she thought it would be, with a Calypso atmosphere. Before they’d finished eating, a three piece band began to play. Tasha felt the pull of the music, as several couples got up to dance.
“Gary, please let’s dance. I can’t stand it, it’s divine!” she begged, eyes shining. “Who'd guess that such a little dump would have music like this?”
“Tasha, I really don’t think it's a good idea...”
“Pa--lease! Just one, I promise!”
“You do, huh?” he asked doubtfully.
“Cross my heart.” she said urgently. Her green eyes were wistful and shining.
He chuckled, and shook his head uncertainly. “I think I’m going to regret this, but from you, that’s a challenge I can’t refuse.”
She nearly squealed with delight.
He nearly caught her off guard when he swung her into a very fast Cha Cha; but being extremely proficient at it, she managed to flow in step, and hide her amazement.
“I thought preachers didn’t dance!” she charged tauntingly.
“And just what do you know of preachers?” he asked smoothly.
She shrugged and didn’t answer.
The song ended all too soon, and they turned to applaud.
“Thanks. I think I’d have died if I couldn’t dance to that song.” she sighed happily.
Gary looked at her with a twinkle in his eyes. “Are you going to die if you don’t dance to this one?” he asked teasingly.
“No. I promised you I’d settle for one, and that’s all. I always keep my word.” she said stiffly.
“Would you like to dance again?” he asked gently.
“Absolutely.” she confirmed in a husky purr. Oh, the ecstasy of having a man just where you wanted him! It was positively intoxicating! Especially when it was a big, self-satisfied jerk like Gary Taylor! She was going to fix his wagon for him. She owed it to herself.
Tasha warmed to the slow rhythm, and did her best to warm Gary up to her. She managed to press against him subtly several times. About the third time she connected with him, Gary jerked her off the dance floor and dragged her back to the table.
“You creep, let go of me! What is your problem?” she hissed. “Where are you taking me?”
“Home.” he snapped in a low voice. “If you can’t behave like a lady in public, you don’t deserve to stay.”
“So don’t make me go places with you!” she suggested acidly.
“That won’t be a problem in the future.” he assured her.
Tasha steamed while he paid the bill. People were staring at them, and whispering. She turned on her heel, and stormed out the door while Gary’s back was turned. She went out to the road, and started walking.
Gary wandered out to his van, and started it. He thought maybe Tasha had stopped in the restroom, or something. Until he saw her, stomping along the side of the road, towards home. He shook his head wearily. He drove out to the road, and turned onto the highway as if nothing was amiss. He passed her without looking at her; without even slowing down.
Tasha extended her thumb after he drove by, a lump of alarm in her throat. She refused to look after the retreating van. Suddenly, the edge of the highway seemed awfully dirty and forsaken. The prospect of hitching a ride became quite unpleasant. What if she got raped, or killed? What if she had to walk all the way? She was still wearing her white sandals. Though the heels weren’t too high, they were far from being walking shoes. And, the tender spots on her feet were definitely developing blisters.
Afraid to the tips of her toes, she turned and uncertainly began walking. She wasn’t even sure she could find Ruth and Nolan’s cabin if she ever got there. And, it was downright hot outside!
As a matter of fact, she'd never walked anywhere, before. She'd always ridden in limos or fancy sports cars. And now, she was out in the middle of nowhere, completely alone and defenseless. It suddenly occurred to her that she probably couldn't even walk the twenty or so miles back to the Walden's cabin.
She let a tiny sob escape as she saw the van returning. Gary pulled a U-turn, and opened the passenger door disgustedly when he reached Tasha. “Get in.” he ordered darkly.
“I wouldn’t ride with you if...”
“Get in!” he snapped.
“Why should I?” she demanded haughtily.
“Because my Aunt Ruth expects me to take care of you.”
“Stick it up your holier than thou...”
“Last chance.” he warned harshly.
Tasha stood there, seething. Her eyes were like brilliant daggers, and her lips were tight. She petulantly climbed up into the van.
Gary drove until he saw the first pull out. Then he got off the road, hit the power locks, and turned off the van. He put the keys in his pocket. Then, he grabbed Tasha’s arm, and yanked her into the back of the van.
“What are you doing?” she shrieked. “Are you going to rape me?” she cried, eying the couch in the rear of the van with horror.
The look he gave her made her feel foolish and undesirable.
“You’ve got to be kidding.” he said dryly. He gave her such a scathing look that she just stared at him, with an ashen face.
Disbelief immobilized Tasha as Gary slung her onto her stomach over his knee, and threw her skirts up over her hips. He then delivered a great many stinging slaps to her tiny, round buttocks.
She screamed brilliantly and struggled, but she was no match for the brute. When he finally quit, the throbbing pain went on, and on! He pulled her skirts back down, contemptuously. He made no comments about her white lace bikinis – or anything they contained.
“When you go anywhere with me, when you are living in my house, when you are in my church … you will do exactly as you are asked. You will help Aunt Ruth; and you will behave like a perfect lady at all times. The next time you behave like a spoiled, pampered brat, I’ll do this to you again, wherever we may be.”
“I don’t know why you think every man you come on to will melt into putty, or be immediately overcome with desire ... but I have had enough of it! I find your behavior degrading and disgusting. If you want to behave like a whore, find somewhere else to do it! And don’t let me even hear about it, if you want to stay ‘til summer is over.”
“Just so you'll understand, I’ll explain to you that I asked you to dance the second time because you so obviously enjoyed it, and because you kept your word, for once. I was starting to enjoy your company – until you ruined it with your pathetic, disgusting act. You were like a dog in heat, and it’s not at all attractive.”
He pushed her unceremoniously off his knee into a heap at his feet, and went back to the driver’s seat. Tasha just sat where he'd left her, choking with rage and humiliation.
“Whore? Whore!” she muttered in confusion and horror. “Dog in heat?” How dare he call her those names and strike her person?
A steely resolve settled in her stomach. No, no, no! She wouldn‘t be leaving. She was going to make Gary Taylor pay – in Spades!
CHAPTER THREE
Gary’s fist fell heavily against the typewriter. He just couldn’t seem to find the flow! He couldn’t break through, and tap into what he knew
God had for him. It was so frustrating to be at an impasse spiritually, just when he had so much to contend with! Namely, Tasha.
Deep inside, he knew that his attitude toward her was a good part of the reason for his desert season. He hadn’t known he was capable of being so harsh and unyielding. It certainly hadn’t done any good, it had just made her that much more contentious and prickly. Rebellion was boiling just under the surface, all the time.
“God, how can I put up with her all summer? “ he wondered tiredly. “She’s absolutely impossible. What are you asking me to do, Lord? What am I missing here? There’s something very wrong, and I can't figure out what to do about it.” he admitted.
He went into his bedroom, and put in a tape of the sweetest music he knew – worship. He flopped onto his bed, and let the headphones pour the healing sounds into his ears. Immediately, he began to relax and unwind, and shake off his frustrations.
Thinking of Tasha, he began to chuckle. That girl could cause more trouble than any ten people he knew put together, and she was spoiled absolutely rotten. But Gary enjoyed bringing out the battle lights in her eyes. Most of the time.
That day in the van, when they’d driven up the coast, she’d pushed him too far. But for the most part, she just amused him.
Deb needed her here. It was going to be a lonely summer for her, without Doug. If for no other reason, he had to try to get along with Tasha for Deb’s sake. Their warfare had both Deb and Ruth a little on edge, and he regretted that. He knew Tasha could care less how much their animosity upset the household, but he did. Something was going to have to change. It obviously was going to have to be him.
He sighed, got up, and went back to his typewriter. The flow of words began, and he typed as fast as he could, sketching an outline. He knew now that the flow would come, just looking at Tasha on Sunday morning. He was going to talk about the death that comes with self-inflicted isolation, the defenses people erect to keep others from coming too close, touching too deeply.
Carefully examining his own heart, Gary had a new revelation that these defenses are very real and potent, indeed.
Tasha listened obediently to Gary preach, with a bored, sullen expression on her face. She wasn’t giving him one iota of satisfaction. She knew he was preaching specifically to her and about her, and it just wasn’t going to do him a lick of good!
She glanced down at her long, burgundy nails and yawned, admiring the way they matched her lovely velvet suit of the same color. She was glad she’d worn her hair down and curled it extravagantly; Jim looked as if he’d love to run his hands through it then and there.
Tasha smile coquettishly at him, and was gratified to see him blush. Soft, sweet butter, he was, just waiting for her to melt him with her eyes. He’d be good for a few thrills through the summer, but she’d have to be a little careful. He was awfully possessive, she suspected. She’d probably have to lie about her departure date, and leave without saying goodbye to him, when the time came.
Deb nudged her arm, and stood up. Coming back to the present, Tasha followed her friend. “What are you doing?” Tasha grumbled, evading Jim’s hand, that was reaching for her elbow.
“Weren’t you listening? It’s time for communion.” Deb chastised.
“Oh, brother. What do I have to do?” Tasha grumbled.
“Just follow me up there, take the wine and bread, and then kneel on the bench. Gary or Pastor Sherman will come and bless you.”
“No way am I letting either one touch me! Who’s this Sherman guy?”
“He’s the assistant pastor here. It’s all right, Tasha. There’s nothing to be worried about.”
“Easy for you to say! Why are they putting their hands on everyone’s heads?”
“It’s just a way to offer a blessing, Tasha. They’re ministering to the people. Gary can ...”
“No, thanks! Looks like Hypnosis or Brainwashing or something, to me.” Tasha snapped suspiciously.
“Oh, stop! Just relax, Tasha, it won’t hurt you a bit. Besides, if you don’t want it, they’ll leave you alone. But you have to at least go to the altar now, you’re already up here.” Deb hissed, feeling irritated by Tasha's persistent muttering.
Tasha glared suspiciously as Deb took a crumb of whole grain bread and ate it, then sipped from a silver goblet. She shook off Jim’s hand irritably, and moved forward. It was too late to do anything else, now.
She found the bread sweet, the wine mild. She walked over and knelt on the bench with a stony expression on her pretty features.
In a moment, Gary came close, and leaned over to whisper in her ear. “Well, Tasha,” he marveled, “I’m pleased to see you up here on bended knee, before God and the church. And of your own free will! Could it be you’re softening just a bit?” he teased gently. “Cracking a mite, are we?”
“Don’t count on it. I was tricked!” she hissed. She was afraid. She didn’t want him to touch her. “If it wouldn’t disgrace the Waldens, I’d be out of here! Believe me!”
“Is that right?” he chuckled quietly. “I thought you were too smart to be so neatly trapped at the altar, for all to see and marvel at. Bless Deb’s little heart.”
“Lay one hand on me, and I will bite you with all my might.” she vowed, glaring up at him with pure venom in her eyes. She reached out to grab at his approaching wrist, but found her hand somehow swallowed helplessly in the grasp of his. She began to panic as she felt a charged warmth flowing from him into her, where they were touching.
“All right, Tasha. Then I’ll just give you a lick and a promise.” he agreed quietly. “Just be certain that you remember this moment of mercy.” he chuckled.
She felt his other hand slip around to the back of her neck. He bent over, and drew her head against his shoulder in a harmless hug. Held snugly there, Tasha felt a deep, quiet sureness in him, and amazingly ... there was acceptance and affection! For her? It was not possible! She hated him, and he obviously hated her!
When he finally released her from the hug, she stared up at him suspiciously. Try as she might, she just could not figure Gary Taylor out.
His serious, probing eyes followed her soberly as she retreated quickly to her seat. She was sure everyone was staring at them.
She watched him minister to the rest of the people surreptitiously, seeing the flow of love from him, to all of them. And they all obviously adored him.
Especially that pretty Marietta creature and her little girl, that had been clinging all over him last Sunday. She was just like Maple syrup now, when he went to put his hand on her head and pray for her. It was disgusting! They had a closeness that was evident to all.
And yet, as suspicious as Tasha was of Marietta's motives, it was a global thing. For all the people there seemed to fit in a place that was exclusively theirs -- to be loved and cherished by their pastors.
Tasha inexplicably began to know a hunger for that special kind of acceptance and love, so freely given here. It was unique. She’d never seen anything like it! It became a dull ache, somewhere deep inside her.
It wasn’t fair that everyone else here should have something so vital and precious – yes, precious! – that she, herself was without. She, with her extreme beauty and wealth, should be better loved than the rest of them!
“It is because of your need that you should be loved at this time.” a voice said inside her. “Not for anything that you are in yourself, or anything you have done.”
Tasha was astounded. That had not been her thought! And she needed nothing! She needed no one! She lacked nothing! The very thought was ludicrous and insulting!
It made her angry, and unbearable to live with. Everyone had to bite their tongue to keep from reacting to her tirades that afternoon. Everyone except Gary, that is. He alone seemed to be completely unaffected.
Tasha continued to lash out at Gary every chance she had, with greater and greater determination. What really made her angry is that he never seemed to be perturbed by it; and often had that patient, peaceful look on
his face that made her feel foolish and tacky for her behavior. More often than not, she found her foot securely stuck in her mouth these days whenever she tried to needle him.
Tasha found herself becoming very lonely. Her behavior was creating gaping chasms between herself and the others in the household. She’d always been something of a loner, but she’d never had this awful, empty, ache inside! She could hardly stand to be in the cabin with any of them anymore.
She’d nearly made up her mind to leave. It’s just that there was really nowhere she cared to go. Her daddy was on the East Coast tied up with boring business, and all her friends were on cruises, or vacationing somewhere. She was high and dry.
She found herself on the deck one evening, in sheer desperation for some company. Jim had been gone on a job out of town ever since that awful communion Sunday, and she was afraid her loneliness was about to overcome her.
She was staring at her nails with dissatisfaction, when a voice behind her shoulder startled her. “Care to take a walk?”
She whirled. Gary stared mildly at her soft hands clenched with tension, her eyes sparking with hatred. “You’ve got to be kidding! Take a walk with you, you pompous bleeding heart ineffectual, sniveling preacher?” she spat.
Gary let his eyes flick over her briefly in disappointment, and descended the stairs without response.
“Oh, what the hell.” she muttered and followed him. “I suppose you think you’re being so gallant, asking me to go with you!”
He sighed. “Why would I think that? I just thought it would be nice to have some companionship for a change. Forgive the mistake.”
“You? What do you need with companionship? You have God.” she mocked.
“That’s right. But I still enjoy a lady’s company every now and then. Guess I chose wrong tonight, didn’t I? Forgive the mistake.”
Indignation rose in Tasha’s breast, welling into a blinding rage. “How dare you? You big jerk!”