by Nancy Hopper
“Look who’s talking!” he lashed back at her. He grabbed her arms, and shook her soundly. “Can’t you ever stop? Do us both a favor, and just go back to the house if you don’t want to go with me. I’m sick of listening to your garbage. I love this part of the coast, that’s why I wanted to come here to recover. It was a terrible mistake! After this summer, every time I let my heart turn this way, to think about this beautiful place, I am quite certain I’ll hear in my mind your selfish snapping and caterwauling. It’s been such a constant, I’m sure I’ll have a permanent and horrible association.”
“You are so insufferable!” she accused angrily. “You’re the most difficult, headstrong, offensive man I’ve ever met in my life!”
“Why? Because I tell you the truth about yourself?”
“The truth? You’re deranged!”
“No, just too honest for you. I bet nobody else in your life ever cared enough to take you over their knee and spank your pants for you. I was the first one, wasn’t I?” he challenged.
Tasha swung her arm to slap him for his insolence, but found her wrists imprisoned in his steel fists, instead.
“You’re never going to get away with that again, Tasha. I told you once before; when you are with me, you’re going to behave. Without exception! I’ve let you get away with far too much, as it is. You’re done with your tantrums. I mean it!”
“Stop treating me like a child!” she wailed in frustration.
“Stop acting like one!” he laughed.
“How dare you laugh at me?” she sobbed. It cracked her heart wide open, to have him laugh in her face.
“I’m not trying to laugh at you, Tasha. Stop being so sensitive, and listen to your heart! Listen to what it’s saying to you.”
Gary’s words perplexed Tasha. “You’re crazy.” she cried, on the verge of losing her composure entirely.
“Maybe. Be quiet for a second. Calm down. Take a couple of deep breaths, and listen to me.”
Somehow, Tasha found herself trying to obey him. She was perplexed when he moved closer, and slipped his arms loosely around her back.
“Tasha, you have to learn to let go of the little things, and make the best of what you can’t change. Learn to appreciate the simple things in life that can be so comforting. Listen to the sea, Tasha, look up at the stars. Relax! Let go of all this useless hostility. It’s pointless! Can’t you see by now, that it doesn’t hurt anyone but you?” He waited for the words to sink in, before he continued.
“Honey, this family would like to draw you in, and love you. Why do you think they asked you here, this summer? Why are you so determined to be miserable, and make everyone else suffer along with you?”
Tasha knew she needed to push away from his arms immediately, but it was surprisingly so comforting to be there that she truly didn’t want to. She was mortified to find that tears were slipping down her petal-soft cheeks. She couldn’t check them, and they became a torrent, leaving a great, wet spot where her face rested against Gary’s shirt.
“Oh, no.” she whispered between sobs. This was simply bizarre. She just couldn't understand what was happening to her.
Gary’s chuckle rumbled against her ear. “You wage a very fierce battle, Tasha, but it’s time to let it go. Come on, now, let it all go. You don’t need to do this anymore. Tasha, let’s be friends. What do you say?”
The soft, deep purr of his voice released the flood gates of Tasha’s deep confusion and unhappiness. Her hidden grief came pouring out, so intense that it astounded and terrified her. But Gary wasn’t worried. He just held her close, and let her cry. It took a long, long time.
At last, she began to calm down, although she still clung to him shamelessly. A hand so unbelievably gentle stroked her hair.
“I don’t ... understand.” she sobbed.
“I know. It’s all right.” he soothed. “You’re going to be all right.”
“Will I? I just want to die.” she cried miserably.
“No, you don’t. No, you don’t.” Gary reassured her. “You just want to begin living. And you will, very soon.”
“I don’t follow.” she gulped.
Gary just smiled, and hugged her tighter. “I know. You will. But right now, I think I should take you back upstairs. You’re shivering.”
It was true. Tasha was grateful for, if uncharacteristically shy about, the arm around her shoulders.
“You’ve been very patient with me tonight. In fact, all along.” she admitted quietly. “I’m sorry that I’ve been so difficult and that I got your shirt all wet.”
“I’m glad I was here.” he said quietly. “I’d like to ask you to forgive me for my lack of patience with you, Tasha. I was wrong.”
“I thought you didn’t like me.” she said, with a hint of her old belligerence.
“I never said that.” he corrected her. “I have certainly reacted to your behavior at times, and I’m sorry. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. Maybe we can make a new start, and do things right, this time. What do you say?” he asked lightly. “I know you can be delightful when you want to, and I’m not usually too hard to get along with. I’ll bet we can do it. We can make it our new challenge. Something to stave off boredom and bad manners.”
He hugged her shoulders congenially as they topped the stairs. He stopped, and took her hand in his. “Goodnight, Tasha.” he said gently, and kissed the back of her hand. He smiled at her kindly, and went inside.
Tasha stared after him, astounded by the gesture. The man was simply impossible to fathom.
Saturday found Tasha and Deb sprawled on the beach, soaking in the sunshine. They both started when a shadow fell on them. Gary sat down between them, and made himself comfortable. It was a very narrow space, indeed. His hip was almost touching Tasha’s. It made her feel exceedingly uncomfortable, but she didn’t want to appear rude by moving away.
“Well, hello there! You’re actually not working?” Deb teased him.
“Hope you don’t mind me crashing, but you two look too good to be left alone out here.” he teased. “Two tempting, pretty ladies alone on a beach!”
“Sure, we do.” Deb agreed facetiously. “And I play quarterback for the Cowboys.”
“And what position do you play?” Gary asked Tasha seriously.
Tasha deliberated, her eyes assessing him critically. “I just make sure I’m on the team who scores the winning point.”
Gary grinned. “I can well believe it.”
“Gary, I forgot to tell you.” Deb said suddenly. “Diana called to remind you that tonight is the young adult night out.”
“I hadn’t forgotten, for once. I even got it on my schedule before I double-booked it.” he said, and turned to Tasha. “We’re going for pizza tonight, and then sometimes we do something else after. It’s mostly teens and young couples. You’ll go, won’t you?” he asked.
“No, thank you.” she was quick to deny.
Gary looked disappointed. “Why not? Come on, Tasha, everyone has been complaining that they can’t seem to get to know you. You’re becoming something of a mystery.”
“Good!” she said emphatically.
“Tasha, Jim will probably go.” Deb urged hopefully.
“I couldn’t care less. I haven’t seen that sap for ages.” she pouted.
“He does work six days a week.” Gary defended. “Listen, what could it hurt? You need to get out more.”
“I have no interest in going and sitting there, trying to be polite to people I don’t know. I hate that!”
“You know Deb and me.” he pointed out.
“Yes, but I know I’d feel out of place. You are both bound to be busy. This is your chance to mix with your crowd. Go, and don’t worry about it.” she urged. “I’m just not comfortable. In my crowd, we girls always have an escort. I know it’s not that way here, but I just can’t be comfortable.”
Gary looked at her with concern. “So why not go with me? I’ll be your escort tonight. I’ll stick with you and I promis
e you, we’ll have a great time.”
“What?” she drawled, and scowled suspiciously. She struggled to steady her heartbeat.
“You heard me the first time. You won’t humiliate me by refusing to go with me, will you?”
“Gary, don’t make fun of me.” she pleaded anxiously.
“I’m not! I want to take you out tonight. You’re supposed to say yes.” he coached her teasingly.
“But, why are you...?”
“Say yes, Tasha.” he prodded insistently.
He was like a steel fist in a velvet glove. He was smiling, and his voice was gentle, but his eyes were boring holes in her, challenging her, coaxing her. It was more than she could do, to refuse him. What if he really meant it? What if he wasn’t just being nice? Oh, God, but what if he was?
“Well,” she sighed to herself, “I guess that’s a chance I'll have to take. I’d rather be made a fool of, than to make him feel foolish.”
Now, that feeling came as a surprise to her. But, she truly didn’t want to hurt his feelings! He’d been so very nice to her, all things considered. She was sure it was no big deal to him, he was just being nice again.
“Okay, Gary.” she sighed. “You win. But I feel like a spoiled child trying to monopolize the guest of honor at his birthday party.”
He laughed. “Why is that? Come on, now, I’m just one of the crowd at these gatherings.”
“Naw.” Tasha disagreed. “You may think so, but I’m quite certain people enjoy it because they get to spend time with you, and talk to you, without someone else in line behind them.”
He looked at her with a new appreciation. “You know a lot more about people than you let on, don’t you?” he accused.
She shrugged. “Sometimes. Maybe.”
Tasha regretted her decision a hundred times that day, as they chatted and swam together. She knew she couldn’t back out, and that made her very panicky. How in the world could she go out on a date – no matter how informal – with Gary Taylor?
Gary alarmed her, up close. He became so … well, human, now that he was more approachable. He seemed sweet, and gentle, and easy to get along with, and relaxed. So different from the threatening, uptight task master she’d once perceived him to be!
And yet, she knew that the other, stern Gary was still in there, lurking. It’s just that now she could see that he had a real, decent, human side. But he was also dreadfully masculine, and too discerning. He was much safer from a distance.
Still, she felt an excitement that she couldn’t deny, as she made her way downstairs behind Deb, that evening. She felt herself blush when her eyes met Gary’s, and felt his warm approval and appreciation for her appearance. She had worked hard at it – darn hard, as a matter of fact -- and it irked her that she cared so much. Why was she so eager to please him, and why did she feel so anxious and shy? It was like she’d magically become thirteen years old, again. It was absurd!
She had her hair pulled up into a pretty chignon, with light tendrils free to show off her features, and soften her face. The clasp in her hair was studded with genuine Emeralds, Peridot and Pearls. Her white twill jeans hugged her hips perfectly, and the emerald green blouse had a v-neck edged in a deep, flouncing double ruffle.
Tasha knew that the color green did something magical to her eyes. They seemed to grow smokier and deeper, yet aflame with a sparkling light that remained hidden, until she looked into someone's eyes. She'd worn a huge bib necklace of Peridot and Pearls, to be sure he couldn't miss how green her eyes were.
She took Gary's arm hesitantly. For some odd reason, she couldn’t meet those eyes as they went out the door. It was so strange to think of going on a date with a preacher! Most of all, with Gary Taylor. Yet instinctively, she knew that none of her girlfriends would snicker; not at Gary Taylor. Addled as he might be, he was a terrifically handsome and intelligent man, in his own way.
He talked more to Deb, and kept it low key as he drove them to the restaurant. He was amazed to see that Tasha was nervous. He was beginning to get a picture regarding her, that he had not had before. Miss Tasha Charles was perhaps not totally immune to him! It would explain why she had reacted so violently when he had taken her to task. “Interesting,” he mused. “I wonder.”
Panic struck Tasha’s heart as they walked toward the door of the pizza parlor. What would everyone think, seeing her with their preacher? She wasn’t an acceptable date for him! She wasn’t even a Christian! It was absurd, she didn’t belong!
Sensing that something was amiss, Gary squeezed her shoulders and whispered in her ear. “Whatever you are thinking, forget it. It’s making you uptight.” he suggested.
“Gary, this just doesn’t feel right. You have standards they expect you to uphold. I’m not a suitable date for you. No matter how informal.”
“You let me worry about that.” he warned, growling in her ear.
She squared her shoulders and tried to keep her poise as she faced two long, crowded tables of vaguely familiar faces. Everyone was talking all at once. Gary seated Tasha, and then Deb, leaving room between them for himself.
Too many pairs of eyes were assessing Tasha, so Gary got the introductions out of the way as quickly as possible.
“Oh; is she a relative of your family’s, Deb?” Tasha heard a woman ask.
“No, just a good friend.” Deb replied cheerfully. Tasha felt like a doll on display, but she endured it serenely for Gary and Deb’s sake.
Tasha finally conjured up the fortitude to look around, and saw Jim staring at her with brooding eyes. She smiled at him politely, and waved.
Jim indicated the empty chair beside him expectantly, but Tasha shook her head. She wasn’t about to play that game with Gary. She well remembered his spanking and his clear expectations of her. She’d come with him, and she’d stick with him.
And, Gary was being was very attentive. Ordering her favorite pizza, and making sure her glass stayed full. He didn’t talk an awful lot to her, but the comments he did make were witty and well-timed. He was really very funny when he wanted to be. Tasha found herself laughing hysterically at one of his jokes. After that, she just relaxed and enjoyed herself.
She began to feel ridiculous and stuffy for not wanting to come. These people were okay. It was a very friendly group. She was glad that Gary had made her come. She’d been so unspeakably bored and lonely, lately.
The girl on Tasha’s right began a hesitant conversation with her. Tasha answered enthusiastically, and soon Tammy was completely at ease with the glamorous brunette stranger. They discovered they shared an interest in interior decorating and floral arranging. Tammy was twenty-six, and had two children.
Tasha noticed Gary listening to their conversation, and changed the subject immediately.
As they finally stood to leave, Gary leaned close to Tasha. “Don’t you ever give a definite opinion on anything? You ought to be a politician.” he teased.
“I’d be happy to share some of my opinions regarding you.” she answered testily, but the words for once held no sting.
“Yeah, I’ll just bet you would.” He grumbled. But his grin lingered all the way to the door.
Jim got between Tasha and Gary, and grabbed her arm. “Let’s go somewhere, Tasha. What do you say?” he mumbled in her ear.
“Hello. No, thanks. I can’t, tonight.” she answered coolly.
“Why not?” he grumbled, looking surprised.
“I have made other plans. I cannot discuss it with you now.” she answered with a greater chill in her voice.
“Huh? Oh – sorry.” Jim mumbled, shocked and well aware that she was not pleased. He stepped back with a squelched expression.
Gary held the door open patiently, pretending not to notice Jim’s embarrassment. They joined the group in the parking lot, who were just deciding that it was a good night for a bonfire and sing-along at the beach. Jim mumbled that he needed to get going, and slunk away with his shoulders hunched.
Tasha gritted her teeth, and said not
hing. If only she hadn’t insisted on coming with Gary, she could have done something fun with Jim!
It turned out to be a perfect night at the beach; breezy, yet warm enough for comfort. And the sunset was awesome when they arrived, blazing red-orange on the horizon.
They made a circle around the fire that the boys already had heartily blazing. Tasha almost liked the songs they were singing. They were joyful, and light. As the voices accompanied by guitar went on, she could almost feel bonds growing all around her, among the people who had chosen to come.
She felt Gary’s arm slip around her waist, and noticed that he was holding Deb with his other arm. She felt very secure and content, nestled against him. She could feel the deep rhythm of his voice against her ribs, and was amazed at the beautiful sounds the voices were making.
When the singing hushed to a low hum, Gary picked up his Bible and began to thumb through it. Everybody visibly stilled as he began to read. Tasha found herself listening intently. The words began to paint a terribly graphic picture, gripping her heart with it’s intensity.
“Blow a trumpet in Zion, and sound an alarm in my holy mountain; let all the inhabitants of the land tremble, for the day of the Lord is coming.”
Tasha felt a shiver run up her spine as she looked into the faces around the campfire. He read on, painting a graphic picture of the Army of God.
Were these people -- sitting around this campfire – the Army of God? Would they be willing to die for their beliefs? These were the words Gary was speaking.
She thought that they would be willing to die, if necessary. These were no Sunday morning bulletin readers. These people were doers -- prophets and warriors. She knew it in her heart.
The revelation stabbed into Tasha’s mind and heart, like nothing she had ever experienced before. She felt torn asunder, just by knowing this truth.
She knew that God had just touched her. She didn’t completely understand it; but He became real to her as He told her about these, His people through the words that Gary spoke. She knew He was alive, and that what was happening to her was mighty. Very mighty.