A New Day
Page 29
“So what are we going to do, then?” he asked pointedly. “This fire is not going to burn out.”
Tasha turned cool eyes up to him. “What fire?”
It was Tim’s turn to roll his eyes. “Don’t do that.” he warned flatly.
“Do what?”
“Pretend. I know better, Tasha. What are you trying to do to me?”
“I’m trying to get you over your silly ideas about me.” she answered steadily.
“Right. Then why did you come here tonight?”
“Because I promised that I would attend the conference. Remember?”
He smiled tightly. “Yeah. I remember.” he acknowledged. “And I suppose you dress like this when you go to the grocery store, too.”
She gave him a hard glare. “Sometimes. I wouldn't hesitate to wear this anywhere. Is it wrong to look nice?” she asked coldly.
He sighed. “No. God forbid that I should criticize you for that. You’re breathtaking, you know.” he said quietly.
She blushed. He always managed to turn the tables on her.
Then, he was kissing her again, and Tasha knew for the first time that her heart was honestly in very deep waters. This man was going to win, if she didn’t watch herself. He wanted her, and he was coming after her, no holds barred.
“Tim. Timothy,” she objected gently. “Listen. Why don’t you … why don’t we just give this a little time?” she pleaded. “I’ll … I’ll need some time.”
He laughed at her, and it wasn’t nice. “Quit thinking, and take the risk.” he argued.
“No. No, not about this.” she denied.
Tim backed off. She was ready to panic, and he knew he didn’t want that to happen. If she cracked now, she’d run. He gathered his patience, and took a deep breath. “Okay.” he agreed reluctantly.
He kissed her one last time, and lingered over her mouth with a hunger that wasn’t easily harnessed. Then, he folded her in his arms and hugged her to him with a passion that sent fear to the depths of her heart. This was real. He was real.
Tasha was trembling from her soul outward, when he let her go. She was shaken to the core, and there was nothing she could do to hide it from him.
Timothy watched her with a mixture of satisfaction and curiosity as she nervously tried to brush a few strands of hair away from her face.
“Want to ski tomorrow?” he asked lightly.
“Um. No. No, I have things to do.” she answered uneasily.
Tim grinned. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow night, then.” he agreed. “Let me know if you have time for dinner.”
“Oh. No. No, I don’t think I will.” she answered quickly.
Tim closed his eyes, and took another deep breath. Then he just watched her, with a predatory smile and a twinkle in his eye. “Don’t run too far. Tomorrow night is the last night of the conference. Then your promise will be fulfilled, and I’ll be getting on a plane.”
She smiled nervously, and nodded.
Timothy caressed her chin carelessly, and smiled. “Then get in your car and make tracks for home, before I do something you might regret.” he suggested.
Tasha obeyed. Funny that she kept looking at his retreating figure in the rear view mirror.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Tasha did not sleep well that night. Too much had happened with Timothy; there was too much to handle, all at once. She kept re-playing the evening in her mind, and all of the prior events in their relationship.
She came to the conclusion that if God was truly in this, she would never escape. Timothy would surely win.
And, it certainly looked as though he was headed for the victory. She had never turned on the charm with any man that way, before. Not since she’d first tried to snare Gary.
It hadn’t worked with Gary, and it didn’t appear to be going the way she wanted it to with Tim, either. Although Timothy was taking the bait she’d offered, he was still clearly in control.
It was she who was sweating. She who was trembling. She who was on the point of breaking.
Tim was not begging. Tim was not breaking. Tim was in control, and that was completely unacceptable to her. She felt incredibly threatened, and vulnerable.
She couldn’t stop feeling his lips on her throat, the hair of his mustache grazing her lips as he came near, to kiss her. She was in torment. The man was driving her wild. And she didn’t want him to! She couldn’t afford to let him. It was that simple.
She finally got to sleep around five, and managed to stay in bed until about eleven. She got up feeling wretched and nervous, and decidedly jumpy. She took a long, hot bath but that didn’t help, either.
As she lay in the tub and looked down at her beautiful body, she could picture in her mind Tim walking through the bathroom door. She could see his face as he would look, feasting his eyes for the first time on her breasts, the length of her legs. Naked for him.
She closed her eyes. There was nothing to be gained by letting her imagination run there. It was frightening to realize that she could actually fantasize about having Timothy see her that way.
“No.” she denied, shaking her head vehemently. “No way. I’m not getting married again. I couldn’t possibly.”
Still, she was shaken by her intimate vision of him, standing in her bathroom doorway, his eyes blazing with passion as he devoured her loveliness. She could almost imagine that he’d really been there, looking at her.
But, that was silly. He had not been there, he’d not seen her. He wouldn’t have looked if he had been there. It wasn’t Timothy’s way. When she was his wife, he’d look. Not before.
She paled as she realized what she’d just thought … when she was his wife? When she was his wife!
Tasha sucked in a panicked breath, and looked wildly around her. Dear God! She cast her eyes up to heaven and shook her head.
“No, Lord. Please.” she begged. “I’m happy. I’m fine. I don’t need a man. I don’t even want a husband. I’ve got everything. Please don’t mess up my perfect life. Please?”
There was nothing but silence. It was the first prayer she’d uttered since the day Gary died. And today, God was silent.
It was only her promise to go, that made Tasha dress for the final night of the conference. She would have given anything to stay away, but she couldn’t. She was compelled, despite her fervent wish to be released from the promise. God was still silent.
She fretted over what to wear. She could never dress as she had the night before. That had been a nearly fatal mistake. Tim was stronger than she was. Tim had the upper hand. He had not been the foolish puppy she’d thought she could make him be. And she should have known it would be so. She was the fool.
She bit her long, beautiful nails as she perused her closet. What to wear? What to do? How to control the situation?
She realized that she didn’t want to disillusion Tim. She cared about him. That was dangerous – Very dangerous, but she couldn’t help it. It was far too late for that.
Timothy’s phone rang at four o’clock that afternoon. He was just coming in the door from a day of hard skiing. “Hello.” he answered it tersely.
There was a short silence; then a tentative, feminine voice ventured, “Tim?”
Timothy’s blood raced as he recognized Tasha's voice. His heart pounded with excitement. “Hey.” he said, in a much more friendly voice.
“Hey.” she answered shyly. “I um … I wondered if you still want to have dinner tonight?”
Tim’s eyebrows went up sharply. “Sure.” he answered, masking the shock he was feeling. This was the last thing he’d expected. But it was certainly not unwelcome.
“Are you sure?” she asked. “You seem a little preoccupied, or something.”
“No. No, not at all. I was just coming in, that’s all. I skied hard all day. Still catching my breath.”
“Oh. Well, where shall we eat? At the Cedars?” she asked uncertainly.
“Sure.” Tim agreed. “Unless there’s something as good nearby.”r />
“Oh, there are a few places.” Tasha said quickly. “There’s a really nice steak and ale house. They have good seafood, too.”
“Sounds fine.” Tim agreed. “Where shall I meet you?”
“How about at the restaurant, in an hour?”
“Okay. How do I find it?”
“Well, look out your window.” Tasha instructed.
Tim obeyed, and she went on. “See the keg in red neon lights across the parking lot?”
“Yes.”
“That’s the place. It’s called Caesar’s.”
“Okay. At five.” he confirmed.
“Great.” she said hesitantly. “I’ll see you there.”
Tim hung up with a puzzled look on his face. This almost seemed too unlikely to be real. Then, he chided himself. Where was his faith? Why hadn’t he expected God to turn her heart so quickly? Hadn’t he asked for it? Hadn’t he proclaimed in his prayers that it would be so?
He shook his head, and laughed at himself. This was a step in the right direction, but he had an immediate sense that the battle was not won yet. Not by a long shot.
Tim waited for Tasha outside the restaurant, in the clear, cold sunshine. It was a wonderful afternoon, and he loved the fresh, mountain air that was so crisp that time of day. Evening was just falling, and the sky was turning a deep, rich color like star sapphire. In fact, the stars were just beginning to appear, as he looked up.
The snow cats were heading up the slopes to groom the hills, their loud engines echoing off the hills all around him. He smiled and leaned back against the rustic, wooden porch pillar behind him, and sighed. What would this last night bring? What on earth would it bring?
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Tasha pulled into the parking lot, and killed the engine. She looked at Tim leaning against the porch pillar, and stared at him. She had the most insistent urge to turn and run, but of course that would not do. He'd already seen her.
It would be rude. It was not something she was accustomed to doing. She’d never run from any man … except Gary, of course. And that had been a very different thing.
She pushed thoughts of Gary out of her head, and forced herself to get out of the vehicle. She looked up at Tim, and was very impressed with the handsome package he presented.
The evening breeze lifted his jet black hair, and swept it out of his eyes, and back over the crown of his head. His eyes were deep and brooding, tonight. His lips were so shapely and expressive under the heavy mustache; his teeth were so even and bright.
He was wearing white jeans and a matching denim coat with very tailored, yet simple lines. Underneath, he wore just a collarless shirt in a blue that made his eyes look electric; and tooled, fancy, tan Western boots.
The lady walking toward him was one who would capture and hold the attention of anyone who happened to be in the area. She was exceptionally beautiful, and it was clear that she had the money to make the most of it. She wore it well, just the same. Elegance, grace. She screamed finesse and sophistication without being over done.
She wore a tunic of sheer fabric in a floral pattern, in the most beautiful blending of colors that Tim had ever seen. There were golden threads; deep burgundies; rich fuchsias; purples and blues; even some mossy greens. Under it, she wore a camisole in a color that blended perfectly with her skin. At first glance, one did not notice the undershirt at all, and one had the alluring and startling impression that there was simply nothing there.
Several layers of the sheer material were cunningly crafted into the ruffles that fell into the handkerchief tails of the garment, so that subtle but adequate coverage was provided to obscure the lady’s breasts, trunk and pelvis. The sleeves were long and slightly belled. The mandarin collar was simple and did not interfere with the lovely, flowing lines of the garment.
Her jeans had no heavy seams or lines, and obviously had a bit of spandex in them to achieve the incredible, shapely fit. They were the same buff color as the camisole, adding to the ‘naked’ appearance of the garments under the shirt. Bone colored Western boots that came to the knee were entirely sexy, and unexpected. Yet somehow, they fit, and added an earthy appeal to Tasha’s look.
Her hair was flowing over her shoulders, but her bangs were softly feathered over her forehead, hanging in the corner of her eye where they were longest. It gave her a shy, yet very provocative look. Tim certainly recognized that her make up was designed to be natural, yet smoky and alluring. She had a natural glow that defied his imagination. She looked like a fashion model, walking toward him with her sexy stride.
He laughed to himself as she walked toward him, her knee-length swing coat over her shoulder. She was good. Very good. The shocking jolt of desire and excitement he felt when she’d come around the end of her car had reverberated through his soul.
She looked almost naked – and it had certainly taken his mind and imagination into that sphere, and on from where the garments led him.
The lash of the imagination was deadly! He couldn’t seem to stop seeing the vision of her walking toward him with nothing on but that filmy, lovely shirt. His blood was rocketing through his veins, and it was only with the greatest effort that he was able to control his expression, and appear nonchalant as she came close.
She was lovelier than ever. Enough to make a male’s mouth water, as a matter of fact. Yet, she looked shy and uncertain as she crossed the street to join Tim.
He was shaken inside to his core by the reaction she’d aroused in him. Yet, she seemed to have no clue regarding her effect on him. Perhaps he hid it well.
He grinned at her and put an arm across her shoulders as they entered the restaurant. “So, how was your day?” he asked as he opened the door for her.
“Oh, fine, I guess.” she said lightly. She would never admit that she'd been bored to tears.
They were both a bit uncomfortable as they waited to be seated. Everything was different, and neither of them denied it.
Tasha slid into the booth they were shown to, pretending not to be alarmed when Tim joined her on the same side. He sighed and reminded himself that there was nothing revealing about the clothing she was wearing. It was just an illusion that cleverly planted devastating images in a man’s mind. It took a bit of discipline to clear them, just the same.
He met her eyes, and smiled. “You changed your mind.” he said lightly. He was surprised and curious, yet a bit distant, Tasha thought.
“Yes. I had nothing to do, and … it is your last night. As I was coming to the conference anyway, I thought it would be nice to … to see you, and buy you dinner.”
Tim raised a teasing eyebrow. “Buy me dinner?” he echoed warily.
“Is there a problem with that?” Tasha asked innocently. Tim’s eye was caught by the long earrings made of strands of needle thin sterling silver beads that caught the light most effectively.
He shrugged. “I have never in my life allowed a lady to buy me dinner.” he informed her dryly.
“Why is that?”
He gave her a long, contemplative look. “I just don't let women get that close, I suppose.” he admitted, watching to see her reaction. “To let down the banner of chivalry and all that.” he qualified.
She grinned. “Tired? You look as though you got a bit of sun and wind today.”
He nodded agreement. “I’m sure I did.” he agreed. “I’m glad you called.”
“Are you?” she asked.
“I am.”
She ventured a look at him and found him watching her carefully. She smiled, and blushed.
Timothy was undecided. Did she know how seductive she appeared at first glance, or had she just tried to coordinate her colors for a pleasing appearance? Was she really feeling shy of him, or was it all an act? Was she really turning her heart toward him tonight, or was this just a ploy to bring him to his knees?
He sighed, and rubbed a hand over his forehead as he tackled the second problem: that of taking her to the conference. The last thing that Tim wanted or needed,
was to take her among his peers and thousands of Christians from around the world – and have all of them see her and suffer the same shock at first sighting that he had suffered.
His concern was first, for her personally – and secondarily for his own reputation. As a single man in ministry, he had to watch his step. He knew that talk was already flying about the lady and his quite obvious interest in her. Speculation was high and Tim was fielding many questions daily about his very attractive companion. People like Pattie Danniels were simply drooling, watching the drama unfold.
“What’s wrong?” Tasha asked woodenly.
Tim looked at her with mingled confusion and admiration. He shook his head. “You just amaze me.” he admitted.
“I do? Why?”
He smiled. “You always find a way to turn me inside out. You have quite a knack for being seductive and totally disarming. Or didn’t you know?”
Tasha paled, and then pink spots appeared in her cheeks. As Tim continued to watch her steadily, the pink spots became a very deep blush. She looked away. “I don’t know what you mean.” she answered tightly. “I’ve done nothing.”
He chuckled. “Your taste in clothes is a big part of it.” he hinted.
She shot him a furtive look. “I wondered if the shirt was inappropriate. I did bring another along.” she advised. “Even though the camisole makes it pretty chaste, I know that the outer shirt is see-through, and might not be acceptable. I just bought it though, and I love it so much I thought I’d just see what you thought. I’ll change now, if you like. I know how people are about ministers, and I don’t want to cause you any embarrassment.”
He watched her with interest. She went on talking, and he was fascinated. She was nervous, but he could almost swear that she had no idea of the effect of her outfit, from a distance. One might not see it at all, he supposed, in the close view of a dressing room mirror.
He grinned at her. “I think it’s stunning, actually. But if you wouldn’t mind, it might be best if you changed before we go to the Cedars.”
Her blush deepened, and Tim was almost sure she hadn’t meant to create the illusion and its results on him.