by Lily Ryan
I run my hand through my hair, hoping I didn’t mess it up, as I let out a loud sigh of frustration. I’ve never seen this side of Lucas.
“Why can’t you blow the party off?” he asks.
“Because I said I was going. I can’t just not show.” I pause. “And the Christmas party is where the bonuses are given out.”
“I’m sure you’ll get your bonus whether you show up or not,” he scoffs.
“I’m going. That’s all you need to know.”
“Fine.” Lucas does nothing to try and hide his irritation.
“Fine.”
I look out the window at the passing trees. My nostrils flare while I attempt to recompose myself. They do that when I’m angry and I have no idea how to control it.
I like Lucas. Like him a lot. Too much. I know my feelings for him border on something much stronger, something that terrifies me. But nothing is written in stone. I could change the direction of the night and our relationship.
“You know what? If you drop me off I’ll be fine by myself.”
Lucas snickers, as if he has me on a rope. “How would you get home?”
“I could hitch a ride with someone. If I’m stranded I’ll just ask Dr. Stillwell to drive me home after the party.”
I notice his grip on the steering wheel tighten. I stare at his white knuckles, wondering where this reaction is coming from. What’s wrong with him? And why did his whole body tense? Even the hair on his head seems to stiffen as he sits there and seethes.
Chapter 16
Lucas
She hit me where it hurts. Like she dropped a sledgehammer down right between my legs. How does she know where my vulnerability lies? Anger I’m not sure I can control swells up like a rock in my throat. I want to punch someone in the face.
Actually I’m all too aware of whom I want to punch in the face, but then I’ll embarrass Olivia and probably lose her. Maybe that’s for the best. Already she has me doing things that go against my grain.
I play the scene in my head. I envision the old man in his Porsche humming softly to the romantic music playing over the radio, glancing at Olivia every now and then.
My Olivia. I suddenly understand the animalistic need to mark territory.
I can see her leaning back against the soft leather seat, giddy and tipsy from the party, her large brown eyes innocent and inviting. The doctor’s gaze falls from her face, taking in every inch of her. He notices her black velvet skirt riding up on her thigh, much like I’m noticing now.
And just like I feel a pulsing desire for her, so will he. His hand glides from the shift stick onto her leg caressing it. Moving up her thigh. Even if she tries to stop him. He’s used to women giving him what he wants.
And what if she welcomes his advances? I want to throw up.
No. There’s no way in hell I’ll allow Olivia to stay there without me. I take a deep breath clearing my head of the sickening image. I can’t let her know what the thought of his hands on her does to me. How I’m losing my mind and self-control thinking about it.
My voice cracks as I speak. “You’re stuck with me.”
“Then lighten up.” she orders.
If only it can be that simple. I take my eyes off the road to look at her. Her golden brown eyes hold me captive. I can’t refuse her anything when I look past those long dark lashes into her huge brown eyes. If I could, I certainly wouldn’t be teetering on the verge of disaster. The disaster she’s leading me into, I remind myself.
I wonder how she’ll react when she learns the truth. I never meant to lie. Technically I didn’t. I just omitted a few facts.
By the time I realized the physician Olivia works for was Dr. Steven Stillwell we’d already been dating for three weeks. In light of the last few years, three weeks is like an eternity.
More than that, she already broke through the Teflon coating around my heart. I’ll just have to explain when I found out who she worked for she already knew I had a deep seeded hate for doctors. I didn’t think she needed to know more than that.
At the time I told myself it wouldn’t matter. I knew I’d never come face to face with him. I’d never allow that to happen. Only now it is happening. And I’m doing it voluntarily. Sort of.
I knew from the beginning, continuing to see her meant digging my own grave. The longer we date, the deeper I dig. For some reason I can’t understand I keep allowing her to stir up a frenzy of need in me, when I know deep down I need to end it. I tried to say the words. I just can’t let go of her.
No matter how much I want to deny it, as I drive I have to face the facts. Olivia shattered the world I’ve been living in for the past five years. She invaded my life and overruns my thoughts.
I broke my dating rules for her, the very rules I implemented to keep me safe. I never call a girl two days in a row and never go out with the same woman more than three times.
Three dates buys me enough time to use my charm, get what I want, and get out. It’s a short enough time that doesn’t connote commitment, love, or any of the things long term relationships bring with them while at the same time being long enough to have some fun.
Three dates is long term enough for me. Except with Olivia those three dates expired in the first week.
Three dates weren’t nearly enough time with her. I looked forward to speaking to her on the phone, not just texting here and there. I wanted to spend every free minute with her and managed to see her almost every night over the past two months.
When Olivia mentioned the Christmas party, and invited me as her guest, I automatically said ‘Yes.’ I assumed it was a friend’s party since she neglected to mention the host or location until I picked her up. I know inevitably once we arrive at her boss’s house everything will change.
It has to.
“What if we …” I give one last attempt to sway her because I’m still not ready for it to end. Olivia doesn’t need to say a word, the stern look she gives me says it all. “Okay, okay.”
I sit silent in the driver’s seat trying to make sense of what I’m doing. I can’t. The whole situation is outrageous. I chide myself for becoming so smitten with her I can’t take a firm stance.
Or perhaps she roiled up something inside me?
Maybe enough time has gone by for me to want to face my past with Olivia at my side. I continue on, lost in my world of turmoil and uncertainty.
While we both sit stirring in our own juices, neither of us realize Olivia hasn’t given me the address or directions to the house. I know instinctively which dark and winding roads lead to our destination.
I turn onto the cul-de-sac and slow the car feeling time slip away from me. I owe her an explanation. That much I know for certain. Try as I might to search for words to enlighten and explain I turn up short. My mind can’t focus on anything but the tension between us.
Olivia gasps as we approach the large house. “Wow,” she says, softly.
I can see how impressed she is by the glamour and glitz of the house; it makes me nervous. I don’t want her to be one of those girls. Ready to sell her soul for a sugar daddy, and right now I’m fearing the worst.
Still I try to regain her attention.
“Olivia …” I clear my throat, “I need to … I mean I want to …”
She sits still, open-mouthed. Awed, taking in the sight before her. She doesn’t hear me at all. It’s like I don’t exist.
“It’s beautiful!”
The house does look beautiful, especially at night lit up the way it is. Landscape lights highlight the unusual trees and art pieces in the gardens around the walkway of pavers. As the foreground to the night sky abundant with stars, the large brick house looks magnificent.
The house looks like a Christmas showcase, straight from a magazine. We can see the double spiral staircase through the large foyer window. The banisters are donned in illuminated garland and red bows. Two three foot trees are lighted on either side of the double door entrance. Mechanical carolers stand sentry waiting fo
r an audience to sing to.
I know I have to try once more. If Olivia is going to find out, and I have any chance of forgiveness, it has to come from me. I have to tell her now.
I take her hand, hoping she’ll look at me. “Olivia, there’s something …”
“Not now,” she pulls away.
Fuck!
Frustrated, I drum my fingers on the steering wheel before moving. By the time I get around to her door she’s already out. Ordinarily she waits for me to open her door. I enjoy holding doors for her. She likes when I’m chivlerous.
Not tonight. Tonight all bets are off.
“I can’t imagine living in a house this big,” she says, heading toward the front door. “So much to clean and decorate. So many rooms.”
I grab her elbow and turn her to face me. “Wait. Please,” I plead.
Knowing I’m weak, that I need her, Olivia steps close to me. Her eyes no longer hold the icy, stubborn look they had in the car. They’re soft and playful as they twinkle in the moonlight.
“We’ll have a good time. I promise,” she steps up on her tiptoes and brushes her lips against mine, leaving me bewitched once again.
I want to stay out here in the moonlight and avoid everything that’s about to happen, I just want more time before I have to face my demons. More time with Olivia. But it isn’t to be had. Olivia turns and heads for the front door.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I mutter under my breath.
Her lips curl up into a smile, “Who says I can’t.”
Olivia holds an element of magic that for a moment convinces me everything is going to be okay. I swallow hard and run my fingers through my hair as Olivia presses the doorbell. The front door opens and in an instant the magic is gone.
Chapter 17
Olivia
I take in the stunning young woman in the black cocktail dress that opened the door. I wonder if Lucas, too, noticed the plunging V-neck of her dress. She’s beautiful. I have to give her that. Even if a bit showy.
The woman’s large, round eyes take their time soaking us in. The vibrant blue color deepens as they spark with recognition. At first I think she must remember me from the office. But I haven’t seen her high cheek bones and blonde silk hair before. And her eyes aren’t on me at all. They are focused solely on Lucas.
I watch the woman’s full pouty lips turn up ever so slightly in the corners. I glance at Lucas rubbing his hands nervously on his trousers. Things are beginning to make sense. Lucas obviously had a relationship with the doctor’s lovely, young daughter. That’s what he’s been trying to tell me.
“Look what the cat dragged in.” Leaning seductively against the side of the door, she holds the knob in one hand, the other arm rising up along the door’s edge, exposing her very large diamond engagement ring.
Lucas clears his throat, “Hi, Stacy.”
“You know each other?” I ask, angry with myself for asking such a stupid question. Obviously they know each other. I’d never seen so much nonverbal communication take place between two people.
“Yep.” Lucas answers, his voice cracking. “Stacy and I go way back.”
“Stacy, is it? Hi. I’m Olivia.”
I extend my hand eager to break the awkward tension, hoping I’ll be able to make the best of an uncomfortable situation.
“Oh, you mean you don’t know Mrs. Stillwell?” Lucas asks incredulously.
I try to keep emotion off my face. I remain as calm and composed as I possibly can with this new fact coming to light. I feel the room swoosh around me as I understand Lucas has been involved with Dr. Stillwell’s wife.
Pieces are coming together. He hates doctors. He didn’t want to come here. She must have hurt him.
“No. We haven’t met.” Stacy offers me a smile, all the while keeping Lucas in her sights.
I can’t say I’m jealous of the looks between them, but if I could scratch her eyes out without any consequence I definitely would.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I answer hoping to keep my voice steady, wishing I could find a crack in the wall large enough to hide in.
Laughter rings into the foyer from somewhere beyond the grand entrance. I can’t help feeling like the laughter is somehow directed at me and the complexity of the situation. The universe is laughing at me.
I dismiss the notion, recognizing paranoia as it pokes its head out of my subconscious. Feeling sick to my stomach, I wish I’d taken Lucas up on one of his earlier suggestions instead of attending the party.
“Come in. Make yourself comfortable,” Stacy suggests. “The other guests are in the back. Lucas can show you the way.” She motions to a hall on her left side.
“Thank you.”
I take a step forward. We’re here. We’ve already been detected. It’s too late to turn back and retreat to the car. It’s a matter of saving face at this point and I won’t let Stacy think she got the better of me. I have to salvage this evening somehow.
Lucas stays put. He doesn’t move an inch. With my eyes, I beseeched him to step inside. Angry that he blindsided me, I remind myself he came to be with me, not to catch a glimpse of Stacy.
We’ll get into that later, but for now, we have to keep moving forward. I reach out for Lucas’s hand since he appears unable to move, hoping I could urge him forward.
From the corner of my eye I notice Stacy smiling. A frightening chill runs through my body as I realize the smile isn’t a gesture of kindness but a show of Stacy’s malicious intent.
“I’m sure your father will be happy to see you,” Stacy says, walking away.
The words hit me like a bomb in a crowded mall. The room spins as I swallow hard focusing my thoughts on what I just heard. “Your father!”
“Olivia,” Lucas says, sheepishly. “I can explain …”
“No. You can’t.” How was Lucas Wells Dr. Stillwell’s son? “Besides, it’s a little late for explanations, don’t you think?!?” I shout, in a loud whisper.
“I tried to warn you …”
“Warn me? You told me your father was dead.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it!” I run my hand through my hair. “I’m working for the man and you never bothered to mention he’s your father!”
Lucas opens his mouth to say something, but closes it before any sound comes out. His eyes look remorseful, but at the moment, I could care less about his remorse.
Chapter 18
Lucas
Unable to speak or move, I shove my hands in my pockets. If no one could see my hands, they won’t know they’re trembling. I have to pull myself together. I try to keep my breath steady and rhythmic as I look around the house I once lived in.
It looks different from the last time I was here. It’s adorned in expensive artwork and gaudy decorations. My mother’s taste was classy, unlike Stacy’s flamboyant style.
“Where is he?” I hear my father’s voice before I see him. He rushes into the foyer, Stacy draped on his arm.
“Lucas?”
His eyes are happy and bright. He looks over the moon. The feeling isn’t mutual. Brushing Stacy away, my father throws his arms around me.
I don’t budge. I can’t. My hands remain deep in my pockets. I barely look at him. I’m afraid all the anger and hate I have stored away for the man will shine through. I don’t care if the old man sees it, but I don’t want to give Olivia any more reason to run from me than I already have. Because the only way I’m walking out of here in one piece is with her by my side.
“Good to see you, son,” he pats my back.
I can’t find words. Some sort of grunt escapes me.
My father releases me and rests his hands on my shoulders. It takes all my self-control to not shove him off.
“It’s good to see you,” he repeats.
I glance off to the side and peek at Olivia. Seeing her grounds me. Reminds me of what’s important. I know she’ll never forgive me if I lose control. What’s worse is s
he looks as uncomfortable as I feel.
“Tell me son, what brings you here? We’re having the office Christmas party, but of course you’re welcome to stay. You know that.”
I haven’t said a word since my father approached. There’s nothing to say.
Saving me from my stupor, Olivia speaks up. “Lucas is my guest, Doctor.”
My father turns his attention to Olivia, noticing her for the first time. “Oh,” he says, as if he’s trying to place her. “I see.” The excitement seeps out of him like steam from a geyser. I recognize the forced smile he wears as he strokes his chin pensively staring at Olivia.
My Olivia.
There it is again, that feeling of possession. It’s all I can do not to whip out my dick and piss all over her.
I still haven’t said a word but instead, puffed my chest out like a proud rooster before a cock fight. He won’t get his grimy hands on her. Just as I lose any hope of making it through the night, I hear Olivia suck in her breath.
She holds her hand over her mouth, “I feel like such an idiot. I’m certain I left my oven on. I’m so sorry Dr. Stillwell,” she links her arm through mine. I can breathe. “But we have to go.”
I look at her, relieved by the effort to make a quick getaway.
“That’s a shame,” my father doesn’t try to hide his disappointment. “Perhaps I could have someone else drive you,” he suggests. “I’m certain one of the other guests wouldn’t mind.”
“No!” She snaps, “I mean, thank you. But, no. I’d prefer Lucas take me home.”
My father nods, fully aware of what she’s doing. “It really is good to see you, Lucas.”
Preferring not to say another word, I hold my hand up in response. I take Olivia’s arm and lead her out the double doors, into the cool winter air. Neither of us notice the chill of the night as we walk to the car in silence, with my father and Stacy watching.
Chapter 19
Olivia
That selfish, self-centered son-of-a-bitch! How could he do this to me? He only went to see her! To see that evil witch. And she loved every minute of it.