Harley Quinn at Super Hero High

by Lisa Yee

  Copyright © 2018 DC Comics.

  DC SUPER HERO GIRLS and all related characters and elements © & TM DC Comics and Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

  WB SHIELD: TM & © WBEI. (s18)

  RHUS 39186

  All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Random House Children’s Books, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York, and in Canada by Penguin Random House Canada Limited, Toronto. Random House and the colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.

  Visit us on the Web!

  rhcbooks.com

  dcsuperherogirls.com

  dckids.com

  Hardcover ISBN 9781524769239 — Ebook ISBN 9781524769253

  v5.1

  a

  For Rob, who makes me laugh

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  That the teenaged sword-wielding hero Katana had just been named Super Hero of the Month was no surprise. After all, she had solved the mystery surrounding the death of her grandmother, Onna-bugeisha Yamashiro—the first female super hero samurai. Plus, she had set things right for the mysterious Ghost Crabs that had invaded Super Hero High and saved the world from the evil villain Dragon King and his army of mutated reptilian warriors.

  So what did all that mean for the students at Super Hero High?

  It was time for cake!

  There was always a celebration when Super Hero of the Month was announced, and Bumblebee had planned a little surprise for Katana.

  “How did you know it would be me?” Katana asked. Her straight black hair glistened and her big brown eyes were bright. There was a rosy flush to her pale complexion from all the attention.

  Other students, like the irrepressible jokester Harley Quinn, loved being in the spotlight, and even sought it out. But not Katana. To her it was just something to get used to, like fighting interplanetary villains or getting her homework in on time.

  “Oh, I had a hunch,” a tiny voice said from beneath the lemon butter cake that was flying across the room. The cake boasted a citrus sugar glaze and the words Congrats, Katana! written in royal red icing.

  From underneath the cake, Bumblebee grew from bee-sized to girl-sized as she set it down. Thick honey-colored streaks accentuated her rich brown curly hair, and even though her yellow insect wings may have looked delicate, they were anything but. Having delivered the cake, she treated herself to a small taste of the icing with her finger. She looked around the room as the party took shape.

  Supergirl had snuck in and decorated Katana’s dorm room with colorful balloons and streamers, and Poison Ivy had filled it with Katana’s favorite Japanese snowball flowers.

  “Achoo! Achooo! Achooooo!”

  Near Katana’s display of swords someone was sneezing loudly. “Achooooosie woozie!” the girl in the blue shorts and mismatched tights said with gusto.

  “Is the word subtle in her vocabulary?” Cheetah asked as she waited impatiently for the cake to be cut.

  “Isn’t anyone going to say gesundheit?” the girl in the blue shorts asked.

  “Gesundheit,” said several voices around the room.

  The black mask over her eyes could not hide her look of mischief. “YOWZERS! Those are some mighty flowers,” she continued. “They’re killing my allergies. Killing ’em, I tell you.” The girl was Harley Quinn. She might have seemed unfocused, but she was looking at one person in particular.

  “Hey, over here! Katana, am I going to score this interview or am I going to score this interview?” Harley quipped. She somersaulted through the partygoers. Her blond pigtails, streaked with red and blue, kept bouncing even when she stood still.

  “I need to do this first,” Katana said. She picked up the cake and threw it. Before it smashed into the ceiling, Katana unsheathed her sword, leapt, and in midair, expertly cut it into three dozen pieces. Each identically sized slice landed on one of the plates lined up in rows on the table.

  “I love cake!” Big Barda announced as she took the first piece. She removed her heavy gold-and-black helmet and set it aside. Cake was serious business.

  Harley gave Katana a big impatient smile. The young samurai knew that there was no stopping Harley when she wanted something. And right now Harley wanted one of her famous “exclusively exclusive Harley Quinn’s Harley’s Quinntessentials scoops”!

  “Your fave hostess with the mostest, Harley Quinn, here,” the Web star said, beaming into the camera.

  Harley took a large bite of cake, leaving some frosting on her nose. When Katana pointed this out, Harley thanked her, added more frosting, and waggled her eyebrows at her digital audience.

  “Just clowning around,” she told her viewers. “But this is serious stuff now. Seriously awesome! I’ve got Katana in person to tell us how she felt when she heard she was Super Hero High’s Super Hero of the Month.”

  Katana blinked into the camera. Not everyone was as comfortable as Harley was at being broadcast to thousands of viewers. Harley’s Web channel had been a hit since its debut. There was no telling how many viewers she could get.

  “It feels pretty great,” Katana said. “But it was a team effort—”

  “Aww, she’s too modest!” Harley interrupted, turning the camera on herself and reenacting Katana’s martial arts moves. “Boom! Boom! Blam! Blam! Slice and dice! You shoulda seen this girl wielding her sword. It was like she was holding a bolt of lightning! Speaking of lightning, let’s chat with everyone’s fav-o-rite weather-themed super hero sisters, Thunder and Lightning.”

  Before Thunder could answer, Harley dashed off into the crowd. Thunder stood confused, and tugged on the V-neck collar of her sleek black-and-electric-yellow costume. The yellow barrettes that held her bangs in place matched her boots. Her sister, Lightning, crouched down to tie her high-top sneakers. Her sporty clothes made her look like she was always ready for action.

  “That was weird,” Lightning said. “Harley was just talking to us and now she’s gone…again.”

  “She’s weird,” Thunder said, quickly adding, “But I mean that in the best way!”

  Just then, everyone heard a familiar voice. Only it didn’t sound normal.

  “Help!” Harley was crying. “Someone help me!”

  “Harley’s such a crack-up,” Cheetah said, rolling her eyes. “Class clowns are like that.” Supergirl, hovering nearby, was carrying all the empty plates in two five-foot stacks. She frowned at her feline classmate.

  “We should check this out,” Wonder Woman announced, always attuned to possible trouble. She tossed her plate so it landed on Supergirl’s stack, then adjusted the golden cuffs on her wrists. She motioned the others to follow her as she tracked the sound of Harley’s voice.

  “Help!”

  Everyone could hear Harley
still yelling. But as they turned the corner, Harley was nowhere to be seen. Instead, her ever-present video camera was on the floor.

  Bumblebee ran to pick it up. She looked at the video screen. On it was Harley yelling “Help! Someone help me!” Then the screen went dark.

  “This doesn’t look good,” Bumblebee said.

  Batgirl watched over Bumblebee’s shoulder as Bumblebee replayed the video. “Harley’s in trouble!” Batgirl said. “She would never be without her camera.”

  Wonder Woman looked perplexed. “I don’t see anything,” she said, staring at the blackness on the screen.

  “Exactly,” said Batgirl. “But when I hit ‘Playback,’ you can hear her. Listen.”

  Sure enough, it was the first sound of Harley crying for help that they had all heard.

  Instantly, the Supers snapped into action.

  “I’ll check the school…,” The Flash said, racing away at super-speed before he had even finished his sentence.

  “I’ll search the underground caverns,” Katana volunteered.

  “I’ll inform Principal Waller,” Hawkgirl announced.

  “Wait!” Batgirl called out.

  Those who remained crammed around the small video screen. They gasped when Harley’s face appeared. She was laughing. “Gotcha!” Harley said. “I’m okay, it was all just a joke! I’m fine. I…”

  Just then, a menacing shadow came up behind her, and suddenly the screen went dark and silent.

  As Supers fanned out over the school and across Metropolis to save their friend, Harley wasn’t far from where she had disappeared. The truth was, she wasn’t even in danger. Instead, Harley was laughing from the top of the school’s iconic Crystal Tower.

  “This is gonna make great entertainment!” Harley said. She had a habit of talking to herself. That way, it always seemed like someone was with her. Having planned ahead, Harley had placed remote cameras around campus. “Everyone’s going to tune in!” she told herself. “And then when I reveal my hiding—”

  “You are in so much trouble!” a familiar voice growled. Harley looked up, surprised to find Cheetah glaring down at her with her hands on her hips. Cheetah’s long brown hair whipped behind her.

  “Harley, you forgot I have super-vision,” Supergirl said, landing from above and making sure not to step on Cheetah’s tail with her red high-top sneakers. “I spotted you as soon as I flew above campus and looked back.”

  Supergirl yelled down to Beast Boy, who was slithering around in the form of a green snake, checking out low, hard-to-get-to areas. “Alert the Supers on the ground that Harley has been found and she’s safe! I’ll tell the ones in the sky,” she said, leaping off the tower and flying away.

  Beast Boy turned back into his scruffy green teen self for a moment before changing into a small coqui frog. Despite his now-minuscule size, his voice could generate sounds as high as one hundred decibels—as loud as a jackhammer. He croaked, “Harley Quinn has been found. Harley Quinn is safe. Harley Quinn has been found. Harley Quinn is safe. Harley Quinn has been found….”

  Except for her light blue eyes narrowing with disapproval, Cheetah hadn’t moved.

  “What?” Harley asked, feigning innocence. “Would you like to say a few words to our Harley’s Quinntessentials viewers?”

  “Put the camera down,” Cheetah said. “Everyone’s looking for you. They think you’re in danger.”

  “I was,” Harley said, laughing. She loved to laugh. She laughed at everything really. “I was in danger of not having enough viewers. But now, everyone will tune in to my new ‘Find Harley’ segment! I was secretly videoing your reactions, and they were priceless. Score one for Harley!”

  “Score zero,” Cheetah said. “I’m going to tell Principal Waller that it was all just a joke from our resident class clown. Then we’ll see who’s laughing.”

  “No one is laughing,” Principal Waller was saying, her back to Harley Quinn. Harley could see in the reflection in the office window that the principal’s normally stern face looked even more serious. Harley didn’t even think that was possible. The Wall, as Principal Amanda Waller was often called—though never to her face—had a look that would make Ares, the god of war and Wonder Woman’s half-brother, cry.

  Harley squirmed on the wooden chair across from Waller’s desk. “Put the ice blaster back,” the principal ordered, without looking. “I’ve asked you before not to touch things on my desk.”

  “Yes, Principal Waller,” Harley said, quickly placing it back on top of the pile of confiscated weapons.

  All weapons were supposed to be checked in and assigned tracking numbers, but students were always forgetting this formality. Well-meaning parents sent swords, chemicals, lasers, and other items that they thought their kids might find useful at school. And some students, like Poison Ivy and Cyborg, were always coming up with new ways to weaponize everyday objects for Lucius Fox’s Weaponomics class. That was fine for class, but it wasn’t something Waller could allow in the common areas.

  “That little stunt you pulled, about going missing. What do you have to say for yourself?” Principal Waller demanded.

  “It was just for giggles…and a twenty-three percent increase in viewership,” Harley answered innocently. “And math! I’m using what I learned in class and applying it to my channel.” She aimed her infectious grin at the principal. When Waller didn’t respond, Harley ramped up her smile. After years heading up Super Hero High, the principal was immune to the charms of her students, even ones as lovable as Harley Quinn.

  “I see,” said Waller. “How about this, then: zero new Harley’s Quinntessentials videos plus detention. For two weeks.” The Wall’s eyes stayed locked with Harley’s as she smiled warmly and added, “Math.”

  That afternoon in the dining hall, no one would look at Harley. “What did I do?” she implored. “What did I do?”

  “If you don’t know, then maybe you should think about it,” Wonder Woman said to be helpful.

  Harley set her tray down between Katana and Bumblebee. Both scooted over to give her room—more room than usual.

  “What did I do?” she asked as Star Sapphire strolled past, giving her a chilly look.

  “Think about it,” Wonder Woman reminded Harley.

  “Psst,” Harley whispered to Bumblebee. “Give me a hint.”

  Bumblebee was busy pouring honey over her spaghetti. She really liked honey. On everything.

  “Harley,” Katana said. “People are mad at you for making them think you were in danger. That’s not funny.”

  “You were worried,” Harley said, slumping in her chair so her head barely appeared above the table. “I’m worried! Waller banned any new Harley’s Quinntessentials videos for two weeks! I’m in reruns. For seven days times two! She even confiscated my video cameras. I won’t have any viewers left when I return with fresh stuff.”

  Katana frowned. “Is that what you’re worried about?” she said. “How many viewers you have?”

  “Well, yes!” Harley said. “You got that right!”

  Katana let go of a heavy sigh. “There’s more to life than viewers,” she said.

  Harley topped her mountain of garlic mashed potatoes with a cherry. “Not if you’re Harley Quinn,” she declared.

  “Hiya, fellow detainees!” Harley said as she cartwheeled into the after-school detention room. She waved to Frost and Lady Shiva. Both looked bored.

  “Everyone take a seat, and no talking!” Vice Principal Grodd grumbled. His red bow tie matched the hankie in his suit coat pocket. Grodd was very dapper for a gorilla.

  Harley let out an audible sigh and sat next to Poison Ivy. The flowers in her long red hair were wilting.

  “Whatcha in for?” Harley asked brightly. She wasn’t about to let anyone know she was bummed. Even though Harley could make almost anything fun, there were dozens of places she’d rather be than detention.

  Poison Ivy shook her head. “Chompy got out of hand again,” she said.

  Harley nod
ded. Everyone knew Ivy’s large and overactive pet plant. Whenever Chompy overgrew his latest pot and went wild, it took Parasite, the janitor, a full day to clean up the mess.

  On Harley’s other side, The Flash was leaning so far back in his chair that three of its legs were off the ground. Harley passed him a note. It read,

  What are you in for?

  He waited until Grodd was fully engrossed in his 101 Banana Recipes book.

  The Flash wrote back.

  Breaking the sound barrier-twice.

  Sounds awesome!

  Harley wrote in her loopy scrawl. She drew a sad face.

  Poison Ivy cleared her throat. She pointed to Grodd, who had fallen asleep and was now snoring gruffly. “Don’t wake him,” she whispered. “We have to stay out of trouble!”

  Harley attempted to look serious, but failed. “Me, stay out of trouble?” she said. “Not possible!”

  Without Harley’s Quinntessentials to keep her busy, Harley had a lot of free time—not when she was in detention, of course, but all the hours she normally spent on her Web channel were now open.

  “Two weeks! She might as well have said forever!” Harley said, moaning in her booth at the Capes & Cowls Café.

  “One extra-large sweet potato fries with four sides of ketchup!” Steve Trevor announced, placing the order in front of her. He had just gotten a trim, and now his blond hair was a tad too short. “Hey, Harley, with your channel in reruns, I don’t know what’s happening at Super Hero High. Um…how’s Wonder Woman?” He blushed. “I’m asking for a friend.”

  Steve’s dad owned Capes & Cowls Café, and though he wasn’t a super hero, Steve worked as hard as one. The restaurant was a mishmash of homey and trendy that the Super Hero High students loved.