Time to Trust

by Rosemary Badger

  Gerard had walked her the short distance home, depositing her on the doorstep and looking down at her with a deep unhappiness still lingering in his eyes. She had longed to comfort him, to cast away his problems with a magic wand.

  'Kate,' he had whispered, taking her in his arms, and she clung to him the way she had when she had almost drowned.

  'You'll see,' she had whispered softly. 'Everything will be okay,' and he had drawn her closer into the harbour of his breast.

  He had left her then and Kate had watched as he slowly made his way back to his cold mansion. When she finally crawled into bed she thought of Ria, wondering what that woman was doing at that very moment, and if sleep came easily to her.

  The voices were getting louder now and Kate moaned, tossing the pillow she had put over her head to muffle the sounds, on to the floor. Suddenly she sat up, ears alert. A child's voice mingled with that of a man's. She sprang to her feet and put her head out the window.

  Gerard was standing by the old fence dressed in a pair of black shorts and a black singlet. Perspiration gleamed on his tanned muscular shoulders and in his hand was a spade. Beside him sat Matthew dressed similarly in blue shorts and white T-shirt. His knees were drawn up to his chin and his small arms were wrapped around his legs. Kate couldn't make out the expression on his face. He didn't look happy, but then he didn't look especially miserable. She had the feeling he was experiencing both emotions but couldn't decide which one he should nurture.

  'Hi, guys!' she sang out gaily.

  Both turned to look at her. A grin spread slowly across Gerard's face at the sight of her poking her head out the little window, while Matthew merely looked at her, his little face pinched and pale, his eyes slightly swollen from the crying he had done the night before.

  Gerard waved the spade at her. 'Hi, yourself. Don't tell me we woke you up?' he asked in feigned innocence.

  'Oh, no,' she drawled, taking her cue from Gerard and entering into the spirit of things. 'What are you two up to?' Her eyes rested on some rotten pieces of board lying by Gerard's feet. 'Hey, that's some of my fence!'

  'Matt and I decided you needed a new fence. Isn't that right, son?'

  Matthew nodded uninterestedly while he nibbled at a blade of grass. Kate caught the look of despair in Gerard's eyes as he watched his son.

  'What kind of new fence?' Kate asked enthusiastically while she felt her heart lurch painfully in her chest.

  'Tell her, Matt.'

  Matthew sighed. 'Same as the one you've already got.'

  Kate pretended to be horrified. 'Not the same as that rickety old thing!' she gasped.

  "Course not,' Matthew said in disgust. 'It's gonna be a new one and it's gonna be little and it's gonna be painted white.'

  'A little white picket fence!' exclaimed Kate. 'Why, that sounds wonderful!'

  'And that's not all it's gonna have,' Matthew continued importantly. 'Guess what else it's gonna have?'

  Kate wrinkled her brow as she tried to think. Finally she gave up. 'I can't,' she sighed.

  'It's gonna have a little gate for me so I can visit you whenever I like.' Suddenly he giggled. 'You look like Mopsy poking your head out of the window.' He looked up at his father. 'Doesn't Kate look like Mopsy, Daddy?'

  Gerard looked at Kate, his eyes holding hers while her smooth complexion burned a fiery red. She knew Matthew's description was fairly accurate. Her copper-coloured hair was always a mass of unruly curls first thing in the morning and after tossing and turning most of the night it was safe to assume it was even worse today. Her faded old pink nightie probably completed the picture, she thought, as Gerard continued to stare at her, a faint gleam in his eyes.

  'She does at that,' he drawled, eyes darkened in amusement.

  Kate poked her tongue out at them before drawing her curtains in a pretended rage. A grin spread slowly across her face as she heard Matthew's giggles mingling with Gerard's low rumbling chuckles. It didn't take her long to have a quick shower and slip into a pair of white shorts and matching white top before she was outside.

  Gerard came immediately over to her and took her hand. 'Thanks for going along with this,' he said quietly so Matthew couldn't hear, indicating the fence behind them with a nod of his dark head. 'I needed a project Matthew could help me with. The fence seemed ideal. It's on neutral ground and it's something we can share without complications. You'll be the buffer between us, Kate, so act naturally and put up whatever objections you can think of.'

  She grinned happily. 'So you and Matt can convince me, right?'

  Gerard smiled down at her, his eyes lingering on the exquisite beauty of her face. 'Right,' he agreed, giving her hand a conspiratorial squeeze before leading her over to join Matthew sitting by the fence.

  'The Three Musketeers, eh?' Kate grinned happily at them both. 'So you think I need a new fence.'

  Gerard nodded and grinned back. 'We agreed there wouldn't be a six-foot-high fence,' he stated calmly, blue eyes gleaming down at her upturned face. 'But this rickety old thing has to go.'

  'A little white picket fence,' Matthew repeated his earlier description, 'with a gate for me so's I can visit you without having to find a hole to get through.'

  'It will be the same as you had before,' Gerard continued where his son had left off. 'The same height and style.' His grin broadened. 'Well, what do you think?'

  Kite pretended to consider. She placed her hands on her hips and looked from Gerard to his son. 'I don't know,' she said. 'I sort of like this old one. My grandparents built it, you know.'

  Gerard put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her to him. 'And so it's high time it was replaced.'

  Kate looked at Matthew. 'Do you think we could do it?' she asked. 'Do you think the three of us could really build a brand-new fence?'

  Matthew bobbed his head up and down. "Course we can!' he said, thrusting out his little chest. 'I've even got my own tools,' and he held out a toy set for Kate to see.

  Kate took the tools and examined each one carefully while Matthew watched with unconcealed pride. 'I got them last Christmas,' he told her, 'but I've never had a chance to use them, not until now. Do you like them, Kate?' he asked anxiously. 'Do you think they'll do the job?'

  Kate handed them back to him. 'They're lovely tools,' she said, smilingly. 'But I think I'm jealous, Matt. All I've got is a rusty old hammer!'

  'You can use mine,' Matthew assured her quickly. He turned to his father. 'Did you hear that, Dad? Kate's only got a rusty old hammer, so I said she could use mine.'

  Gerard placed his hand on his son's head. 'That's very kind of you, son,' he declared solemnly, his eyes meeting and holding Kate's. 'Shall we get started?'

  'But won't it be expensive?' asked Kate, thinking of her rather meagre savings account. 'I think it's only fair to warn you guys, what you see standing before you is a very poor lady.'

  Gerard chuckled and placed a long finger over her lips. 'The fence isn't going to cost either of us a cent.'

  She took his finger away and held on to it. 'It isn't? But how?'

  'There's plenty of wood left over from the construction of my place along with nails and paint. The only thing it's going to cost us is sore backs.' He grinned down at her. 'Now, doesn't that sound like great fun?'

  Kate pretended to be horrified. 'Sore backs? Hard work? On my holiday?'

  'Well, I'll be giving you plenty of breaks; an hour off for lunch, ten minutes for morning and afternoon smokes.' His easy grin swept over her.

  Kate's eyes were radiant. It would be fun, the three of them working together. As Gerard's finger slowly traced the outline of her mouth with the finger she was still holding, she knew that if he had suggested it she would willingly have agreed to the cottage being torn down just to be with him as he built it up again.

  'Should we get started, Daddy?' asked Matthew, anxious to begin.

  Kate and Gerard laughed at his eagerness. 'I doubt if Kate has had breakfast,' Gerard said, ruffling Matthew's hair. 'And we can't
expect her to work on an empty stomach. Run over to our place and see if Mrs Abbott has got any of those blueberry muffins left over.'

  'She has, I saw her put them away. I counted six. Should I bring them all over?' he asked eagerly.

  'I think so, son, we've got to feed this lady if we expect any work from her. And ask Mrs Abbott if she would be kind enough to make up a jug of lemonade.' He looked up at the cloudless blue sky. 'It's going to be hot, we'll need plenty to drink.'

  Matthew scampered off, pleased with his mission, and Kate turned excited eyes to Gerard. 'What happened?' she asked breathlessly. 'Last night you spoke of miracles, and I believe I've seen one.'

  'I can't believe it myself,' Gerard admitted. 'After I got back from your place last night, I went upstairs to my bedroom. Matthew was sound asleep on my bed. I sat down beside him. He woke up and we found ourselves just looking at each other, neither of us saying a word. Suddenly he was in my lap and he cried his little heart out. I just held him, I didn't know what else to do. When he stopped crying he asked me all sorts of questions about the divorce and what it really meant, and most of all if it had been his fault.'

  'Poor kid,' Kate said softly, her eyes clouding.

  'Not any more,' Gerard disagreed. 'We had a lone talk, a talk which should have happened ages ago, only I thought he was too young to understand. I was wrong. He desperately needed reassurance that he was in no way responsible for what happened between Ria and me.' He looked down at her. 'He's quite a kid, my little Matt.'

  Kate readily agreed and snuggled closer into Gerard's arms, her head resting against his chest listening to the steady beats of his heart. 'He takes after his father,' she murmured, wondering why the mention of Ria's name should always distress her so.

  When Matthew came back with the muffins and lemonade, Kate was made to eat three and drink two glasses of lemonade before they pronounced her fit to begin work.

  An hour after they started Kate and Matthew were pulled from the workforce and made to sit on an old log while Gerard bandaged their bruised thumbs. He stood in front of them looking down at their hot faces, and shook his head mournfully. 'What a pair!' he drawled, while Kate and Matthew held up their bandaged thumbs with self-pity in their eyes.

  It took almost a month to pull up the old fence and build the new one. A month of fun, laughter, sweat and more than the occasional tear when hammers repeatedly hit the wrong nail! During that time, Kate learnt a lot about Gerard, and day by day her respect and admiration for him grew.

  His patience was remarkable. Not only with Matthew but with Kate herself. Several times Kate and Matthew crept off to hide behind the bushes, their hands muffling their laughter as Gerard worked on convinced they were toiling behind him. When it was discovered they were missing, he would make a great show of searching for them, looking everywhere except where they were, finding them at last while they held their sides and laughed helplessly. He would break a leafy branch from a tree and chase them back to work, while their squeals of laughter brought Mrs Abbott running out to see what was going on.

  They were having the time of their lives. Kate showed Matthew how to feed the rosellas and how to mix their special brew. Old Mr Kit-Kat came each day for his snack and Matthew would stretch out on his tummy and watch the cat lap his milk and nibble his food.

  During the worst heat of the day between eleven and two, Gerard would call a halt and the trio would race down to the ocean and frolic in the surf. Lunch was always under the sprawling poinciana tree in Kate's garden, and while Matthew snoozed afterwards under the shade of the brilliant scarlet blossoms, she and Gerard would talk, often finding themselves in each other's arms, their bodies clamouring for total fulfilment. She had never given herself to a man. and now she understood why. No one had ever come close to making her feel the way Gerard did. She loved him.

  She would have given herself gladly to him, but he was the one holding back. The evenings after Matthew was in bed would end with Gerard pulling away from her, leaving her feeling miserable and frustrated. While they talked openly and freely about every other subject under the sun, they never discussed this. Kate was afraid to. She was terrified Gerard might still be in love with his ex-wife. So frightened was she of this possibility that she didn't dare ask herself why this should matter.

  But Mrs Abbott knew what Kate was afraid to admit. Kate had fallen hopelessly in love with Gerard Hunter! Always pretty, Kate was now beautiful. She was, in fact, radiant. Her eyes lit up whenever he entered the room; and she clung to his every word, always wanting to be near him, touching him, doing things for him. In the evenings, Mrs Abbott would poke her head into the enormous lounge before she left for home, and the scene was always the same. Gerard would be reading aloud from a story book with Matthew on his lap and his arm around Kate. Kate's head would be nestled against his chest, her eyes half closed as though hypnotised by his rich deep baritone voice.

  While Gerard was responsible for the changes in Kate, Kate had been responsible for some changes too. The big house now had a charm it had lacked before. Pictures had been hung and scattered rugs now softened the effect of bare wooden floors. Matthew's bedroom had been completely redecorated with gaily printed wallpaper and bright new furniture. The teddy bear she had given him had pride of place on his bed.

  'My holiday will soon be over,' Kate told Gerard one evening as she watched him sort out papers on his desk in his workroom.

  He glanced up and smiled. She was wearing a thin cotton dress, the fabric hugging the slender curves of her body. Her rich copper-coloured hair was pulled back and fastened with a yellow ribbon the same colour as her dress. The smooth flawless skin was without make-up, giving her a gentle vulnerability which matched her wistful tone. Her soft hazel eyes were sad.

  'When?'

  She swallowed hard. 'I have to start work oh Monday.'

  He straightened slowly from his desk, his eyes darkening. 'So soon?'

  Kate nodded and sighed. 'I've had nearly six weeks.'

  A muscle jumped alongside his jaw. 'You can't ask for more time off?'

  She shook her head and this time the sigh was longer. 'No, I've taken all I could.' She attempted a laugh. 'I owe them time now.'

  Gerard dragged his hand through his hair and she smiled at the instant mess.

  'I. . . Matthew will miss you.' A crooked smile followed the words. 'He'll be lost. He won't know what to do with himself.'

  What about you? Kate pleaded silently.

  'I'll miss him too,' she answered quietly. 'But I'll keep in touch.'

  Gerard gave her a searching look. 'When will you be back?'

  She shrugged. 'I don't know. Not before Christmas.'

  'Kate, I . . .' His voice trailed off.

  'Yes?' She moved closer to him. 'What is it, Gerard?'

  'Nothing.' He stuffed his hands into his pockets.

  'Will you be here for Christmas?' she asked.

  'Yes.'

  'Gerard, I . . .' Her voice trailed away like his had done.

  He looked at her sharply, dark brows raised above clear, blue eyes, holding hers.

  'Yes, what is it, Kate?'

  Her glance fell. 'N-nothing.' To her horror she felt tears burning at the back of her eyes and she quickly blinked them away.

  He placed his hand under her chin and gently lifted it. 'You don't appear to be too happy about going back.'

  She forced a smile. 'It's leaving Bargara that does it,' she insisted. 'All this peace and beauty.' The tears were threatening her again and her eyes glistened. 'I'll be all right once I get back to work.'

  A scowl darkened his face. 'Why couldn't you have an ordinary job like a secretary or a teacher or a nurse? Why must you be a reporter?'

  They had discussed Kate's job many times and in the beginning she had made it sound far more exciting than it actually was, adding danger and drama to her accounts. Gerard had become so concerned for her safety that she had finally admitted the truth, sheepishly confessing that her assignments mainly
covered the social scenes—weddings, ballets and the occasional rock group. It had been mention of the rock groups which Gerard hadn't liked and still didn't. She gave him a tremulous smile.

  'It's what I'm trained to do,' she answered, smoothing the scowl from his face with feather-soft hands. 'I guess I'm too old to learn another trade and a girl's got to eat. Besides, I enjoy it.'

  He took her hands and pressed the palms to his lips, a brooding expression in his eyes.

  'I'll miss you, Kate.'

  She swallowed hard. 'I'll miss you, too,' she answered simply.

  Kate started missing Gerard and Matthew before she had even left Bargara. The last few days of her holiday were spent wondering how she was ever going to manage until she returned. Every moment spent with them was precious, and in the evenings when she and Gerard were alone she committed to memory every detail of his face.

  When at last the day came for her to leave, Gerard and Matthew were there to see her off.

  'You won't forget to come back, will you, Kate?' Matthew asked anxiously while he bravely fought back tears.

  Kate hugged him. 'I'll be here for Christmas, you can count on it.'

  'That's not so far away, is it, Kate? You're sure you'll be back then?'

  'I'm sure,' she promised solemnly, kneeling down and pulling him into her arms. Over the top of his head she caught the look in Gerard's eyes and her heart twisted painfully in her chest. She knew he was remembering another woman who had promised Matthew the very same thing!

  Kate rose shakily to her feet and held a trembling hand towards Gerard. His body had stiffened and there was dark censure in his eyes. I'm not Ria! Kate's eyes silently pleaded with him and gradually the harshness left his face and he took her. hand, gently pulling her to him, his arms tightening around her as if he was afraid to let her go. It was at that moment, with her ear against his chest listening to the frantic beat of his heart, that Kate realised just how much she loved him.