Hawthornes Calm Manuscript

by DeOlmos, M. A.

  “You were bleeding because the docs say you have a low lying placenta’s and the…extra…extra-curricular activities we’ve been having lately caused you to bleed. We over did it baby. They said it’s really common though, particular after sex. Aunt Layla reassured me after the docs left. But with that said, we have to be more careful. Twins tend to complicate things. If you want me to call my Aunt to better explain it to you baby, I will.”

  I shook my head slowly at him, not wanting him to leave me to go anywhere as I processed what he just said. It made sense in a way. My late nights staying up watching the baby channels has really helped me to understand what my body and babies are going through, but how I could I have been so selfish?

  “Stop baby. It’s not your fault Liv. Please don’t start blaming yourself.” He leaned down slowly, his lips hovered over mine for a brief second before he kissed me.

  He kissed me softly running his tongue between my lips prying them open. I complied, opening up for him. Ocean kissed me long and slow, calming my hard-wired nerves with every stroke of his tongue.

  When he pulled away, his gentle hands stroked my face as his eyes smiled down at me. I was speechless because Ocean was so intense that when he let his softer side show, it was sensual and beautiful.

  “I said we have to be CAREFUL baby, not that we CAN’T have sex or that I can no longer make love to you. Baby, that’s one thing I know I can’t quit cold turkey. No more cave woman Zena sex though, okay?”

  His love finally allowed me to smile back at him now that I didn’t feel like a ticking time bomb of frantic emotions.

  “So they’re okay then? No restrictions other than no wild hardcore vampire sex?”

  His head flew back as his husky laughter ripped through him, causing my weak smile to widen with newfound energy.

  “I’m cutting HBO when we got back home. True Blood has your hormones and brain all kinds of fucked up.”

  I sucked my teeth at him. “You know you like it. But really Ocean, is that all that happened? I don’t want to risk the chance of miscarry—“

  “Shh…baby, don’t say that or think it anymore. I promise that’s all the doctors and my Aunt said. You’re okay to come home now. I have your discharge papers in the Range if you want to read them. As far as restrictions go, I think you’re asking the wrong person. If it were up to me, I’d lock you up in our bedroom until you go into labor.” He laughed at his words, but I could feel the wheels turning violently in his precious mind; he was actually considering doing exactly that.

  “Take us home Ocean.” I said, interrupting the inner struggle within his thoughts.

  As he helped me up, he pulled the string to undue the back of my gown and letting it fall off my shoulders and onto the floor. “I brought you clothes. You mind showering here? We’re sort of going on a trip after this.”

  His shyness had me giggling like a little girl inside and out. I let him lead me to the familiar small space of the hospital room’s bathroom. He closed the door behind him, grabbing my elbow and slowly turning me around to face him.

  He lowered himself in front of me squatting down, pulling me forward closer to him with his hands placed on the back of my knees. I placed my hands on his shoulders to balance myself as I shuffled forward. His lips found the slight but noticeable beginnings of my baby bump. He kissed my bare skin over my belly repeatedly.

  Between his sweet kisses on my flesh, he whispered how much he loved our babies; his little prince and princess as he called them. When he was finished loving up my belly, he stood with that dazzling smile of his.

  Running his fingers through my hair, he pulled my head back to kiss me again. This kiss was not the gentle kiss he gave me before. With this kiss, he was owning me all over again. Ocean was reminding me why I was his and he was mine.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck as I stood on my tiptoes, running my hands through his golden brown locks. I could tell he was playing it safe by keeping his hands above my waist because his monster was itching to come out and play.

  I had to remind myself what I’d just went through and removed all thoughts of having sex with him right here and now. When he finally broke for air with a dangerous grin on his face, he ordered me to turn around and take a shower.

  He leaned his body against the sink crossing his feet at his ankles and arms across his broad chest. “I’ll wait right here until you’re finished. Not going anywhere baby.”

  As I walked into the small stand up shower, I asked. “Where exactly is this trip we’re going on? Where are Dulce and Law?”

  “Dulce and Law are here. They bumped up their appointment with the fertility specialist because he had an opening today. So they’re in my Aunts office. I actually stopped by to check on them while I was gone. Sorry Liv, I didn’t mean to be gone for that long. You were out cold. I didn’t think you’d wake up so soon. And to answer the question you want to ask but didn’t, they are coming with us and to answer the question you did ask, I’m not telling. It’s a surprise from husband to wife. Hurry up so we can get going and enjoy our honeymoon…without sex.”

  “You’re kidding right? Not even a poke? How about oral, we can still do that right? Oh and you can still use your hands right? How about toys-nope don’t want to go there it’s not the same and it’s kind of gross now that I think about it. I mean, I am going to hate you for it if you don’t let my monster play with me, but it’s better than no action. Anal is disturbing, but I read on google that it feels really good. Shit. You are kidding right?”

  By the time I stopped ranting, Ocean was doubled over and laughing hysterically. I didn’t see the freaking humor in asking these questions. They were vital!

  “Just take a cold fucking shower Liv. Damn, you’re too much baby.”

  “Whatever!”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Lawrence

  I don’t know if it was the fact that I’d just seen my Sunshine rushed to the hospital passed out from the shock of bleeding as much as she was; or if the fact that I was sitting in my mom’s office waiting for Blue and the specialist to come back from her ultrasound and some other test I couldn’t even fucking pronounce that had me ready to combust.

  Okay, so it was a combination of both that had both my brain and heart about to explode. I was thankful that Ocean popped his head in here to check up on me because I was on the verge of climbing up the walls all exorcist style. I have no idea what to expect from this visit and I hate not having control...being in control.

  I begged Blue to let me go with her, but she insisted I stay here. I think she knew I’d go postal seeing another man touch her in places I only wanted my hands to touch. I know it's stupid, immature and selfish of me to think that way; but fuck the universe. Blue was mine and I wanted her for me. Me and only me.

  Already thirty-five minutes have passed. My palms were sweaty, my mouth was dry, my heart was racing, and I swear my vision was fading in and out. I was on the verge of having a massive heart attack.

  Okay Lawrence, focus on something else idiot!

  Sunshine. I was happy she was okay; I could not imagine the alternative scenario that we all thought was going to play out. I think Blue and I would have had to have both of them admitted for twenty-four seven suicide watch.

  It was sad to say, but I honestly don’t think they could handle such a blow; shit neither would I.

  I felt like ripping the clock on the wall off because each time the second hand moved, it was ringing in my ears and disturbing the dead silence of the room.

  Disturbing my goddamn panic attack!

  I stared at the clock as if it had devil’s horns on it.

  Blue, I need my Blue. FUCK! What’s taking so long?! That damn clock needed to stop!

  I grabbed the leather chair closest to me, dragged it under the clock, and jumped on the chair. As I reached up to yank the clock off the goddamn wall, the office door opened.

  Blue walked in first with a smile on her face, followed by doctor tight ass.

/>   I should not be so ungrateful for his help, but the prick was a fucking class-A tight ass. Blue continued to walk towards me with a smile playing on her sexy eyes and lips and wrinkled her nose at me, as if to ask what the hell was I doing.

  All of a sudden, the damn clock didn’t even matter to me anymore. I jumped off the chair, bringing my Blue into my arms and hugging her tight.

  There was a throat cleared in the distance…see doctor TIGHT ASS! “May we get continued Mr. and Mrs. Hawthorne?”

  Maybe I should have grabbed the clock so I could smash it over his extremely long and pointed nose.

  “Yes we may.” I responded, placing the chair back where it belonged as he took a seat behind my mother’s desk.

  Blue pulled my arm toward her seat and as she turned to take the seat. I beat her to it, pulling her down onto my lap. Her straight and serious face broke into an annoyed smile as she rolled her eyes at me and my heart melted.

  Tight ass shifted in his chair, blushing red. Fucker. He probably hasn’t gotten laid in years.

  I pulled Blue closer to my chest as I sat back in my leather chair, looking at Doctor Fitzgerald in the face. I decided to show the man a little more respect; he was going to break the new to us gently I’d imagine.

  “Well let’s begin then. As you know, Layla has provided me with Mrs. Hawthorne’s medical history and report of her incident’s prior to this meeting and that has made it extremely helpful in diagnosing your condition.”

  My heart broke free from my chest as my head spun around and around, and a-fucking-round again!

  I nodded my head in acknowledgement as I was on the verge of passing out from lack of blood flow to my heart, brain, or whatever organ was keeping me from passing out.

  "By the ultrasound that you had today compared to the one that was done during your admission when you were last here and the one from about seven months ago, there has been a great deal of improvement. Mrs. Hawthorne…”

  “Dulce. Please call me Dulce.” Her voice was sincere and sweet as she interrupted the doc.

  “Yes. Of course, Dulce. The reproductive condition which I believe you have is called Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. This condition is where at some point, bacteria makes its way up to the vagina, uterus, uterine tubes, and abdominal cavity. It can be a very painful and debilitating condition. I am extremely impressed with your strength Mrs. Hawthorne-Dulce.”

  Blue squeezed my hands in hers and I could feel her fingers trembling between mine as she played with mine nervously.

  “Dr. Fitzgerald, where does that leave us now? We would like to start a family in the near future. Is that still an option for us?” Her voice was low, but still confident with every word she spoke.

  I was at a loss for words, still trying not to run out of this office and hunt those sons-a-bitches down that did this to my Blue.

  “Well, it is safe to say that the bacteria that has caused you to have this condition is no longer present. Just to be on the safer side, I would like for you to start the recommended antibiotics for any bacteria that still may be in your system. I have read in your chart that you were extremely responsible with your check-ups at Shiloh’s facility and that has made a world of difference in your case. Mr. Hawthorne, you will also need to take these antibiotics to avoid the incident of reintroducing it back into her body when you have intercourse. Have you had any other sexual partners in between your relationship with your husband and the incident you had Dulce?”

  She squeezed my hand before answering. “Not willingly. When I was discharged from the hospital, my step father raped me again. After that, I was back here for my…” She released my hand, grabbing at her throat and tracing the scar that lined her neck.

  “Of course. I am sorry to have you bring up such unfavorable details. I’m sorry. I am happy to report however, you do not have any common or uncommon STD’s or current infections in your system, but again I’d like to take the precaution with the antibiotics. Mr. Hawthorne, I am aware you are married and assume you are currently sexually active. I am not going to request you have a blood test done as your wife does not show any signs of an infection. You are however more than welcome to have them done prior to leaving today.”

  “Thank you. What are our chances of getting pregnant if she no longer has the infection? Is there something that’s preventing her from becoming pregnant?”

  Damn. I sounded a lot more cognizant than I really felt.

  “Possibly. You see, with this type of infection-if left untreated-can cause severe damage to the female reproduction organs. Dulce was lucky to have responded to her doctor that prescribed the appropriate medication to kill the bacteria, but I am afraid the trauma that was done from her abuse is going to make it quite difficult. Today’s ultrasound revealed scar tissue lining her fallopian tubes as well as uterus. It is minor scarring, but any degree of scarring can hinder the implantation of a fertilized egg. There is a procedure to have that scar tissue removed available to you, but I do not want to recommend that just yet. Your case is acute and should not make becoming pregnant impossible. Difficult yes, but not impossible. There are various techniques you can use to aid in the chances of fertilizing an egg and helping it implant itself safely into the uterine wall. There are certain sexual positions that may help as well as monitoring your ovulation cycle. I do not recommend using hormones or any form of injections because I am confident that with some time, you will be able to conceive. You also have young age and very good health on your side.”

  That is all I needed to hear to clear the webs of defeat from my chest. My weight was finally lifted now that I knew exactly what was going on with Blue and her body. I didn’t understand shit right now, but give me twenty four hours and I’ll be the world’s greatest expert in vaginas, fallopian tubes, ovaries, uteri, and every other female reproductive organ that makes up my baby’s temple of sweetness I love so fucking much.

  We said our thank-you and good-byes to the doc as he left the room to his next appointment.

  Blue was quiet and I knew she was taking this good news and twisting it to stand for something bad; something that was going to make what she wanted to give us harder for her. Like I said, if we couldn’t have our own then we’d definitely have Scarlet. She was ours; Blue just didn’t know it yet.

  Even if she did get pregnant before we actually got Scarlet, she was still going to be ours. No way was I going to let my right hand man down. He entrusted me with raising his stepsister as my own daughter and that was exactly what we were going to do for him.

  Blue let go of my hand, making her way to the door to leave when I grabbed her hand spinning her around to face me. When I saw her face, I wanted to cry. She looked defeated and tortured. She received the best news in the world, well at least to me, and she was feeling like shit anyway.

  WOMEN!!!!!

  “Not so fast, Blue.” I said and pulling her close as I dropped my arms around her shoulders, holding her in place. “What’s the sour face for baby? Everything I heard from doctor tight ass today was great news. Why the sad face?”

  She ran her hand through her dark blond hair nervously as she looked up at me. “You know now Lawrence. You know the real pain I’m in now. I can’t hide it from you anymore. I’ve hurt you so much since we’ve met and you don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve to have to fight for a baby and to take medication or have blood tests for me. You deserve what a healthy woman can give you, not me.”

  “Ouch Blue, those words fucking hurt. Do you not get it by now that I don’t want any other woman? You are more than healthy and worth my fight because I want you. I married you and it wasn’t for the blow jobs you give ‘cause you use too much teeth if you ask me.”

  Her knee greeted my dick and I laughed in pain as she pouted.

  “Blue, yes I know now. I know that when you’re quiet and to yourself it’s not because you’re tired or moody, but because you’re in pain. I now know that when you throw dishes and random things at my face, it’s also because y
ou’re in pain and that’s fine baby. All it means is that now I get to take care of you and hopefully help to take away some of that pain. I will bring you chocolate, ginger ale, heating pads, chick flicks, and anything you want when you feel that way. I’m here for you; not for myself, but for you.”

  She smiled, resting her head onto my chest. “You’re too good to me papi. I love you.”

  “Naw baby. I was made for you, there’s a difference. Come on. Let’s go check on Sunshine and Ocean, but not before you get your meds and I get the sex positions we be should be trying.”

  Blue kissed my neck, turning her body around and wrapping my arms around her tiny frame as we walked down the hall laughing.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Ocean

  After Liv got out of the shower, I walked out into the hospital room to give her some space. That was, of course, after her warning that she would castrate me if she stepped out of the bathroom to find I was gone again.

  She couldn’t blame that one on her hormones because that attitude was all Livie. The Livie I fell in love with.

  I swore on my life that I wouldn’t leave and now, I’m sitting on the two-seater sofa along the wall and waiting patiently for my Zena to come out. I sat silently, crashing from everything that has happened within the past three hours.

  The calm and take charge feeling in order to be strong and stay positive for Liv was draining me. It wasn’t in my nature to react this way, but I had Liv now and she was my wife…pregnant wife. I had to change the way I reacted to a lot of things in order to keep Liv. I’m sure she’d eventually grow tired of my erratic behavior, so I was trying my hardest to change that within myself.

  Seeing her bleeding like she was scared me straight. The only thing that saved me from needing a straight-jacket was the ultrasound the doctors did to monitor my little prince and princess. I knew that in my heart they we were having a boy and girl…I just knew.

  I smiled to myself as I held on to that memory of seeing their tiny forming bodies and fluttering hearts on the monitor. Seeing them gave me the strength I needed to stay calm and be here for Liv. She needed me now more than ever and it hurt that she immediately assumed she had done something wrong.