Queen of the City

by Tamicka Higgins

  “Big Mama, I’ma be back, ok? I’ll be back but… just trust me. I need to get away and clear my mind. That’s it. I’m going to come back and be the Lyric I was before all this stuff happened. I just need this time.”

  She sighed, “I know baby, I know. You gotta do what you gotta do. I understand, I just… I know I almost lost you once, and I don’t want to go through that again, hear?”

  “Yes ma’am, I understand and you know I can take care of myself. You raised a tough woman. I mean, look at you? Don't you remember all the times you used to tell me how you fought dudes when you were my age because they were talkin’ smack to you? All the situations you been in and fought your way out?”

  “I remember. I remember, baby. But just because I got through it, don’t mean I want you to have to experience the same things.”

  “I don’t either, Big Mama, but just know that if I come to something, I’ll be ok. I’ll make it out. I always do, and you know that.”

  I put my hands on her cheeks and squeezed them together, causing her lips to pucker up. I kissed her on them, the same way she did when I was little. She laughed.

  “Ok baby. I trust you. Just, hold tight one second, ok?”

  “Ok.”

  She left the room as I continued packing. I slid a few thongs and some sexy lingerie that Junie bought for me into my suitcase. Big Mama was in my room the whole time I was packing so I couldn’t put any of those things in there yet. It would have brought a whole line of questioning that I wasn’t prepared to answer. She came back in the room with two books—a bible and a devotional for young women.

  “Now, you take these, hear? Keep The Lord close to your heart. He is the only one that can protect you at all times.”

  Where was he when Junie died? I thought to myself as I took the books out of her hand. Big Mama’s faith was unwavering. No matter what happened, it was always in the Lord’s hands to her. I would be lying if I didn’t say that Junie’s death brought some uneasiness with God in my life. Something that wasn’t there before everything happened. How could he let somebody that I loved so much just die like that? In that way? I didn’t understand it, but I tossed the books in my bag out of respect for her.

  “Ok, Big Mama. Thank you.”

  I looked at the clock on my phone: 9:15 am. Quandra was going to be here any minute. She was driving to Chicago and wanted to beat traffic, so she wanted to leave as early as possible. She pulled up to our house right on schedule. She got out the car and walked to the porch just as I was stepping down with my luggage. Big Mama stood in the door as Quandra reached out to help me and greet Big Mama,

  “Oh. Oh, hey Miss Sutton. How are you doing today?”

  “Hello, LaQuandra. I’m well, how about yourself?” Big Mama peered back at her, a look that lacked any form of trust.

  “I’m good, Ma’am. Thanks for asking.”

  She turned and walked back to her car with me. “What in the entire fuck is wrong with yo’ grandma? What did I do to her?”

  “She just remembers you from high school.”

  “Oh.”

  She paused, then turned it into laughter, “Well, I get it now. I was wild as fuck in high school, shit, no wonder. How about I just stay down here while you say yo’ goodbyes to her?”

  I loaded my things into the back seat.

  “Good idea.”

  I walked back to the house as she stood there, worry dripping from her eyes like honey.

  I shook my head. “Big Mama, I’m going to be fine.”

  “You call me when you get there and get settled, hear?”

  “Yes, Ma’am.”

  “I’ll be praying for you.”

  She reached her arms around me and held on tight like it was going to be the last time I saw her. I didn’t like it, but I understood it. She said my mama left her the same way. She said she needed a break and next thing she knew, she was getting a phone call from the police talking about they need her to come make a positive ID because of her death. I understood her fear, but she didn’t understand one thing—I was not my mother.

  The car ride to Chicago went fast. We reminisced about old times all the way there, listening to old rap songs on her Pandora station and singing everything off key. I didn’t have many female friends but for some reason, LaQuandra was the one that clicked back with me. The scenery from Milwaukee to Chicago was completely different. The traffic was heavier. Downtown had more life to it and overall, the city was just much bigger. More to get into. She drove to the club that we would be working at.

  “Come on girl. I told him you were coming, and he wanted to meet you.”

  We got out of the car and walked into the building. It looked like it was vacant from the outside, but when we walked in it was an entirely different story. The carpet that led to the main floor was a plush, blue material. It felt like my feet were sinking into it with each step I took. There were mirrors on every wall in the hallway with bright vanity lights that lined the top of them. We headed to the back room to his office. Quandra knocked twice.

  “Who the fuck is it?” The voice yelled from the other side.

  Quandra shook her head as she collected herself, “It’s LaQuandra.”

  I heard movement from inside the room before he finally unlocked the door and let us into the large office. He had mirrors all around on every wall, including the ceiling. Pictures of him with half-naked women were plastered just about everywhere in there. On his desk, on tables, hanging on walls. He smiled at me as we walked in. He wasn’t much taller than me, but he was stocky. His hair was permed like an old-school pimp and a toothpick dangled out the corner of his mouth,

  “Yes, yes Lawd,” he said as we walked in. Quandra sat down in a chair in front of his desk as his wicked smile never left his face. He walked around to his side of the desk, licking his lips at us as I sat down next to Quandra.

  “So this… this the girl you was tellin’ me ‘bout now, huh?”

  She smiled at me. “Yup. This is her.”

  “Ok, ok. Well, stand up. Let me see that ass.”

  I looked at him with a side-eye. Quandra whispered to me, “Girl, just get up and let him see you.”

  I stood up and spun around. I saw myself in the mirror. I wore jeans that showed the round shape of my ass perfectly. My shirt was cut low, exposing the top of my titties.

  “Yes, yes, yes, Lawd!”

  He said as he clapped his hands at me. He walked from around his desk and stood right in front of me. I could feel his breath on my neck as he spoke.

  “Damn girl, you fine as shit. Umm-hmmm, I think you’re gonna do well up here. That’s for damn sure. You are gonna do well. These thirsty ass niggas love a fat ass!”

  He said as he smacked my cheeks. I quickly turned around as Quandra stood between us.

  “Shit, and you feisty, too!?”

  He looked towards Quandra, “Bitch, what took you so fuckin’ long to bring her ass up here? That’s all I wanna know. What in the fuck took you so long?”

  “She just said she wanted to dance.”

  “Is that right?”

  He licked his lips, “Well, dance you will. Dance you fuckin’ will.”

  He walked back to his side of the desk. I didn’t take my seat again until he sat down and began pulling papers from his drawer. He set them on the desk in front of him as he folded his hands and looked directly at us.

  “Now, Quandra here knows the rules. If you get here before 7 pm, there is no fee to dance. Each hour after 7 pm, the fee goes up. That is, of course, unless you get listed as the club dime. Now, the club dimes do pretty much whatever the fuck they want and the reason they get to do that is because they are the club’s biggest draw. Whenever they touch the stage, the niggas flock to them like flies to shit. They make me more money.”

  He leaned across the table and said, “And you… Miss Lyric Sutton, certainly have the potential to be one of the club dimes.” He sat back in his seat before continuing, “Now, your audition will be tonight.
On stage. It’s Thursday, so it’s going to be a busy night for us. If they like you, you stay. If not then… clearly, you don't.”

  He reached his hand over to his radio and pressed play on the CD. Some house music came on as he smiled, “Now, let me see a sample.”

  I looked at Quandra as she nodded in my direction for me to go ahead. I turned back towards the club owner, stood up and turned around. With my hands on the chair for support, I made my ass clap right in front of him, even while I had on jeans. I saw his reaction in the mirror. His mouth dropped open as he looked at me without mercy. I saw his hand reaching up to smack it, but I turned around before he could.

  “You got-damned, tease!”

  He said, laughing, “But that’s it. That’s it right there. You tease them. Tease the fuck out of them and make them drop more of that money on the stage for you. That’s it. You’ll be a club dime in no time.”

  He looked towards LaQuandra, “Now if you ladies will please excuse me, I have some work I need to attend to. I will see you two fine, fine ass women back here tonight.”

  Quandra smiled and rose from her seat as she headed out of the room. I followed her close behind, and before I knew it, we were out of the strip club.

  “Bitch, what I tell you? This is going to be the easiest money you’ve seen in forever. This shit should be illegal.”

  We got in the car, and she drove us to the liquor store. She said she always got drinks before she danced. It helped her loosen up, but me? I was more of a weed smoker to relax. Two blunts and I’m ready to go. Any butterflies that I had before then were just as high as me, and everything was fine. She grabbed her liquor, and we headed to the Hilton in downtown Chicago. She got us a room on the 17th floor that overlooked downtown. I could only imagine what it looked like at night. I stood, looking out the window as she came up behind me.

  “This shit is beautiful, ain’t it?” she asked, as she took a drink of Patron before continuing, “I always come here. This same room. I believe it has the best view of the city. I actually just stand there looking out the window like you doin’ right now. I forget about shit, you know, shit I’m going through. It’s peaceful, ain’t it?”

  I nodded my head as she took another drink and walked away. I couldn’t help but think about Junie. How we always said we would tour the world and stay in expensive hotels. He had dreams for both of us to do big things, but it was all cut short. I thought getting away would get my mind completely off the tragedy and maybe it would. Maybe I just needed a little more time to be out here. I mean, I just got here, so I couldn’t expect things to change magically right when I stepped foot in Chicago. Some of it would take time but time is all I had. I looked over at my suitcase and began pulling things out that I was going to wear for the night. If I was going to embrace my new life, I was going to start now. The only way I would turn back is if I felt that I had to wrap up some unfinished business. I slid a thong on as it seemingly disappeared into thin air around my waist. Suzie Rock was dying, and the woman she was becoming was unrecognizable to me.

  Chapter 6

  I got onto the stage. The light shined down on my face as I looked around the audience like a panoramic view. The audience glared back at me, waiting for me to do something. Say something. They had their hands in the air, cell phones up taking pictures of me and recording. I looked to my right as time seemed to slow down. Junie stood there smiling, his head nodding up and down, urging me to start. He was there. I was just happy to know that he was with me up here. I reached for the microphone, but my hand gripped the pole instead. I turned back to the audience as full grown men stood closer to the stage. The cell phones that were once in everyone’s hand were now dollar bills. Their eyes undressed me even more than I already was. I looked to the right to feel the calm from Junie. He was gone. The DJ licked his lips at me and shook his head like he wanted his piece of me like every other thirsty ass nigga in the club. The high was beginning to fade, and as the house music started, I turned around, my ass facing the audience. I closed my eyes and made it clap. My audition finally began.

  “Hell yeah! Bend that ass over!”

  “Got-damn! Look at that shit! Let me taste it!”

  I heard the same thing every night for the next week. Thirsty ass niggas coming into the club with money and lust-filled hearts just to see us shake our asses for them, hoping for something more. I wasn’t complaining, though; the money was too good for me to say anything about it and I was either drunk or high as shit when I got on stage so I could numb myself to all the men and women grabbing at me. I hated that part of the job, but Quandra told me I couldn’t snap back at niggas when they tried to talk to me or pull me over for a dance. I wasn’t used to it because it just wasn’t in my persona but, “In order to get the bees you gotta have some sweet honey to draw them in.” That’s what Quandra would say, so I softened my approach after the first night.

  I came home with about $800 every day I went in and even though it wasn’t a life I wanted, it was the life that I preferred over going back to Milwaukee. I thought about Junie from time to time. I thought about how he would feel knowing his woman is out here stripping for a living. The thing is, I don’t think he would care too much about my stripping. He would be more concerned about the fact that I quit rap to do it.

  “Hey, bitches, y’all need to get ya shit together and hit the stage,” Don said as he walked into the back room. I paid no attention to him as he walked around as if he owned the world. I sat down and pulled singles out of my bra and G-string as naked and half-dressed women around me scattered out, leaving me alone with Don. He smiled at me, sliding his hands into his pockets as he strolled right up to me.

  “This muthafucka,” I mumbled under my breath as he approached.

  “How is my little money maker doin’?” he asked, brushing his hand through my long, black hair.

  I moved my head away from his hand and stood up.

  “Shit, I would be doin’ much better if you kept yo’ fuckin’ hands to yo’self. I get enough of that shit on the floor.”

  Rejection seemed to have increased his aggression. I looked into the mirror to make sure my make-up was still on point.

  He walked up behind me, brushing his erect penis across my ass. A look of annoyance spread across my face, “Don, back the fuck up, damn! I’m trying to get ready.”

  “Oh, baby, don’t be like that,” he said, smiling as he smacked my ass. It jiggled on its own for a few seconds as he sat and watched in admiration. “You know, I treat you better than all these other hoes up in here. And you only been here a few days.”

  “Shit, is that supposed to make me feel better?”

  “Nah,” he said, scooting closer to me, “but I got somethin’ that can.”

  “Shit, I hope you are talkin’ ‘bout yo’ tongue cuz that lil piece of shit you got in yo’ pants ain’t doin' nothin’ for me.”

  I walked away from him as Quandra walked into the room. She stood against the wall with her arms folded. I wasn’t sure how much of our interaction she caught but the way she looked at me said she had seen enough of it. I walked past her and made my way to the floor.

  “Look at that ass!”

  I heard Don yell out the room as I walked down the hallway. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could put up with him. The moment a nigga crossed the line when I was in Milwaukee, he quickly found out that I was the wrong chick to fuck with like that. Here, I had to practice a restraint that I never had to begin with. I was two different people, and one of them had to die for the other to live. I added a couple hundred dollars more to my total and waited for Quandra to get done with her dance so we could go back to the hotel.

  ***

  “Damn, bitch! I see you rollin’ in that bread now.”

  I sat on my bed, counting the money I made from dancing last night. Quandra stood next to me looking down at the bills I separated in piles.

  “Shit, it takes me a couple days to pull that kind of loot. Them muthafuckas love you up t
here.”

  “I guess. I’m just trying to get this money; that’s it.”

  I saw the smile she had on her face slowly fade away out of the corner of my eye when I turned to count the money. Her lip curled up as she peered at me. I quickly turned towards her as her smile reappeared.

  “Well, shit. You are getting’ it. Ain’t no question about that shit.”

  She walked over to the dresser, “Has Don talked to you?”

  “20…40…60,” I paused and turned towards her, “about what?”

  She combed her hair in the mirror. “The word is that he wants you to be a club dime and shit.”

  “Girl, I ain’t thinkin’ ‘bout that bullshit. I’m just tryin' to get this money; that’s it. He can have that club dime shit.”

  “I don’t know. It wouldn't be any harm just to accept it. I mean, some perks come with it.”

  “290…300…330… Like what?”

  “Shit, I don’t know. I ain’t no dime but from what I heard, it’s just extra shit. Like guaranteed pay for slow nights, come in whenever the fuck you want. You don’t have to pay him extra if you come in after 7. You know, shit like that.”

  She turned towards me, leaning back on the dresser. “I’ll talk to him for you and set it up.”

  “500…510, 530, 550…”

  I looked up at her just in time to see her eyeballing the money that I counted on my bed. She quickly turned back to me.

  “Aight, whatever. Shit, just make sure that nigga know I ain’t promising nothing,” I said.