In Too Deep

by Stella Rhys

  “I’d love to but I don’t think my girlfriend would appreciate that,” he said.

  “Well, she ain’t here, so who cares?” Big Hair asked boisterously.

  “Ah, actually, she is here,” Sawyer cut in. His arm around Sloane, he pointed at me. Okay then. Realizing our game, my lips stretched into an awkward smile and I waved at the women.

  “Oh,” Big Hair said, eyes on me. “Look at her.”

  “She’s gorgeous,” her friend chimed in.

  “Beautiful couple,” Big Hair nodded approvingly. “But you better watch it,” she pointed a manicured finger at me. “The second you break his heart, I’m swoopin’ in!”

  Laughing, I nodded in understanding and held Jake into the seat next to mine. My cheeks burned hot as he looked at me with a crooked smile. “Hey, babe,” he said, draping an arm around my shoulder.

  “Hi,” I bit my lip. “How was your day – sweetie?”

  He grinned something irresistibly cute. “Oh, it was good. Productive. Got a lot of work done at the office. Ordered all the material we need for the remodeling.”

  “I see,” I nodded, trying to think of more lines for our game. “Well… the kids missed you while you were gone,” I blurted with a giggle. When Jake winced, I followed suit. “Sorry, was that too weird?”

  “No, just too close to home. I’m sure you know my mom. She’s been asking me to give her grandkids since I graduated college.”

  “Actually, she’s told me that she’s given up on you, which is why she’s turned to bothering me about them.”

  Jake’s eyes glimmered with amusement as he bought four beers, two of which went to Sawyer since Sloane was already getting too drunk. “Well, that’s a relief but I do apologize about transferring the burden to you.”

  “It’s fine. It’s not like I don’t want kids, I just can’t imagine having them anytime soon.”

  Jake watched with amusement as I sipped carefully at my spilling beer. “Why’s that?” he asked, mindlessly wiping a drop that had spilled onto my lap. In shorts, my bare thighs reveled in his touch. But I tried not to be obvious about it.

  “I don’t know. My parents had me and my sister too young so it makes me wary ‘cause – ” My sentence cut short just as our shortstop hit a line drive down the first base line. I held my breath as he ran, Sawyer’s cheers piercing my ears as our man on third slid home. Grinning, I peered over and watched him sit back down and carefully explain what just happened to Sloane. Jake watched them for a moment, laughing too before picking up where I’d left off.

  “It makes you wary because?”

  “Oh. Well, they were twenty-one and twenty when they had Riley, and it just took a long time for them to get on their feet and learn to be the parents they are now. They were better with me but when Riley was growing up, they were still too young and self-absorbed. They definitely made a lot of mistakes with her that kind of… stuck.”

  Jake frowned. “Is she doing okay now?”

  I tugged on the collar of my old Jeter shirt. “Um. I don’t know,” I said, my voice higher pitched than usual. “She kind of… ran away when she was thirteen. Had a big fight with my mom and then walked out the front door and never just came back. She didn’t even pack a bag,” I said, realizing that a decade-and-a-half later, I still found that bizarre. Peering over at Jake’s troubled look, I tried to lighten the mood. “She was like a more extreme version of you,” I joked. “I mean I never talk about her much with Jackson but whenever I do, he brings up you.”

  “Sorry about that.” Jake’s brow furrowed. “It’s not exactly comparable. You were a lot younger. It must’ve been harder to understand.”

  “It was. She might not have loved my parents but she definitely loved me.” A smile touched the corner of my lip as I let myself remember Riley. “I know she probably stole half that stuff but she used to come back from seeing her friends and bring me random little gifts. Candy, lip gloss, stickers, earrings. She was like a pretty blonde Santa.”

  Jake smiled. “When was the last time you saw her?”

  “Six years ago. No – seven. According to her email, she lives in Hawaii now. On the Big Island. I think she’s married.”

  “You’re not sure if she’s married or not?” Jake cocked his head.

  I laughed, realizing how ridiculous that sounded. “Well, she kind of talks in code when she emails us her little updates. I think it’s her way of keeping us informed but at a distance. By giving us the bare minimum of information,” I said. My lips formed into a pout when I caught Jake still frowning so handsomely. “Don’t look like that. It’s not this dark part of my life anymore. I mean if she hadn’t left, I might not have ever gotten so close to Sloane, and if I’d never gotten close to Sloane, I would’ve never moved to New York and met – ” My throat closed up, as if only just realizing the end of my sentence.

  “Jackson,” Jake murmured, finishing it for me. He squinted in the sun as he gazed out at the field. “Have you guys been okay?” he asked quietly.

  “Not really. You two?”

  “We haven’t talked that much,” Jake replied, lowering his voice. “I don’t think my coming back to New York was what he imagined it’d be. It’s different than him visiting me in Australia or Nicaragua. It’s not a vacation when we’re here. It’s always business, whether it has to do with work or family. There’s always some drama when we’re both in this city because this is where it all started.”

  “Why did you come back here at all?” I asked curiously.

  “Jackson. He called me back because he said he was going through some shit and he just needed me around to talk him down like I always used to. But it’s like he changed his mind when I got here. He hasn’t told me anything. I don’t know if he’s trying to build up his trust in me again but he hasn’t even mentioned…” Jake trailed off, his eyes flitting past my shoulder.

  “Gabrielle,” I whispered, grimacing at the sound of her name. I didn’t realize how disturbed I looked until I heard Sawyer’s voice.

  “What’s wrong with Lara?” he asked Jake before turning to me with a devilish grin. “Is Jake being a shitty boyfriend? Since, you know, he’s your boyfriend today?”

  I laughed and squeezed Jake’s knee. “He’s being the perfect boyfriend, Sawyer,” I answered, chewing the inside of my lip as I felt Jake’s muscled thigh twitch under his jeans.

  “He’s a better boyfriend than you are,” Sloane crossed her arms at Sawyer. “Since you won’t walk me to the bathroom.”

  “We have two on and none out, why can’t you go to the bathroom yourself?” he sputtered.

  “I don’t know where it is!” Sloane said. For a pampered girl, that was a perfectly logical reason. I grinned, watching them bicker like children.

  “Hey, Sawyer, don’t be a shitty boyfriend. Take her to the bathroom,” I broke it up, blowing kisses when he groaned and took Sloane’s hand, dragging her out of the aisle like a begrudging brother.

  When I turned back to Jake, I saw a wince twitching in his laugh. “What?” I asked, but I didn’t need an answer when I saw him spreading his legs to make more room for himself in his jeans. “Oh,” I breathed, realizing what was going on. “All I did was squeeze your knee,” I giggled quietly, letting myself lean into him. The second I nestled closer, he kissed the top of my head.

  “I know,” he murmured, a laugh in his voice. “But you can pretty much walk a straight line and get me hard as a rock.”

  I bit my lip as he pushed my hair back and kissed my neck. Heat radiating my skin, I closed my eyes. “Jake, we can’t…”

  “I have to.” He brought his mouth to mine, kissing me so gently that I instantly needed more. “This is the only time I’ll ever get to pretend that you’re mine.” He kissed me again, a tingle darting between my legs as he slid his tongue between my lips. I knew I should but I couldn’t stop it anymore. I kissed him back, cupping his jaw and starting over in my head. For those few seconds, I imagined that I’d met Jake after college, on some va
cation. Aside from the constant traveling, we lived a low-key life. No drama, no cheating, no getting back at each other in strange ways. We were just a normal couple and this was just a regular day. After the game, we’d go home, make dinner and spend too long picking out a movie to watch. And at night, a massage in bed would turn into sex.

  It was the simplest but naughtiest fantasy I’d ever had.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  I awoke next morning to see Sloane next to me in bed. It took a second for me to remember that she had slept over last night. After the game, we’d gone to a nearby bar with the boys, where Sawyer had proposed a game of pool, girls versus guys. Every time a shot was made, the other team drank. And every time I went up, I felt Jake’s eyes on my backside. If I needed confirmation of it, I looked up at Sawyer, who’d be laughing or shaking his head at Jake over my shoulder.

  “I know, brother. It’s painful,” he said during a shot that had me half seated on the table, angled in a way that pinched my waist and flared my hips. After sinking the ball, I glanced over my shoulder to throw a triumphant smirk at Jake, but before I could, I felt him yank me into his chest by my hips, pulling my ass against the zipper of his jeans. My eyes went wide as I felt his erection press against me, and I stared across the table at Sawyer and Sloane, who laughed drunkenly.

  “Damn, you guys are getting a little too convincing!” Sloane giggled. She was too drunk to notice anything off but as I rolled out of bed, letting her sleep, I recalled a moment that struck fear in my heart. It was something Sawyer had said to me while we both watched Jake shoot for the eight ball. It had been quiet but the air had been thick and I could tell that he was waiting for the right moment to speak.

  “Hey, if something were going on,” he finally started, his eyes glazed over from the whiskey, “I’d be behind you on it. ‘Cause I get it. I understand why,” he finished, his gaze sliding from Jake to me. As drunk as he was, I could hear something deliberate in the way he spoke. But by the time I asked what he was talking about, it was his turn to shoot. And in no time, the moment was lost amid all the shouting and drunken laughter.

  “Speak of the devil,” I murmured to myself when my phone lit with a text from him. I opened it hastily.

  You were probably too drunk to remember but the deal last night was that loser had to buy a massive hangover-curing lunch the next day. You lost. It’s noon. We’re hungry.

  ~

  Lunch was in SoHo because Jake had crashed at Sawyer’s penthouse on West Broadway. Since it was close by, we went to Broome Street Kitchen, the place where I had first realized that Max was in fact Jake. It had been a gut-wrenching realization then but today, I could vaguely laugh about it – but not without feeling guilty. As Sloane and I approached the boys’ table, I wiggled my lips, trying to suppress my amusement.

  “Morning, losers,” Sawyer greeted us jovially. “How we feeling?”

  “It’s not exactly morning anymore,” I laughed, glancing at my phone, “but I feel fine.”

  “Well, I feel like crap,” Sloane pouted. “And I’m so tired of this place. Don’t you boys ever go anywhere besides here and Buccieri?”

  Sawyer blinked. “Not really, no.”

  “Well, that’s stupid and I hate it here,” Sloane grumbled, ever the grouch when hung over. I glanced at Jake, exchanging a little laugh as she continued to lament over the menu. “This isn’t what I want. I don’t want any of this. I want a burger. Or a bagel. I don’t want a croustillant. What is that? Did I even say that right? Oh, who fuckin’ cares.”

  “Shit, she’s cursing,” Sawyer said seriously, knowing well that Sloane only swore when truly enraged. Heaving a sigh, he nodded out the door. “Well, if you’re really upset, go outside and get a bagel.”

  “By myself?” Sloane asked, aghast.

  “Yes, Princess. Or you know what – Jake will take you.”

  Jake lifted an eyebrow. “I will?” He turned to look at Sloane, whose tantrum had her tossing a menu on the floor with boredom. “Yeah, okay, I will,” he nodded, flashing me a quizzical look before sliding out of the booth. I watched him go, feeling a little wary myself as he left me alone with Sawyer. Somehow, I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say.

  “So, you remember anything from last night?” he asked after a beat of silence. He scanned the menu but I kept my eyes on him.

  “The important things,” I replied.

  He looked up, a serious look in his dark eyes. “Yeah. I saw you and Jake kissing at the game.”

  I had suspected as much but I swallowed hard, my eyes dropping into my lap.

  “I’m not saying this to shame you, Lara. I don’t know if you remember, but I said something to you last night at the bar – ”

  “That if something was going on, you were behind it.”

  “Yes.”

  I looked up at him, wrenching my hands under the table. “Why?” I asked, despite not really wanting the answer. I remembered what he’d drunkenly said on the yacht in Ibiza, right before Jackson proposed. “I know a lot of things. Things that you’d wanna know.” I always assumed he was talking about Gabrielle since he’d seen them that night, but suddenly, sitting alone with him, I feared that there was something more. After all, he had said that he knew “things,” which was plural. Or maybe you’re just being crazy, I told myself. “Listen, I know you know about Gabrielle,” I blurted, unable to take the suspense. “Dane told me you were there. But is there something else you know beyond that?” I asked, hating the desperate tone in my voice.

  Sawyer ran a heavy hand over his stubble. There was a long pause before he answered, “Yes.”

  I closed my eyes, shaking my head with mounting fury. Of course. Of course there was something else with Jackson. There always was and I’d simply found out too late. “What is it, Sawyer?” I asked, opening my eyes to find myself staring through tears.

  Sawyer took a deep breath, rubbing his face with both hands. “I wanted to tell you but I wasn’t sure if it was true and I had to make sure before I made any accusations that could ruin someone’s – ”

  “I know, Sawyer, it’s fine. Just tell me, please,” I said hastily, my heart beating faster as Sawyer’s lip began to curl with disgust. He pressed his fist against his mouth, as if needing to suppress his anger in order to speak. When he finally did, instant fear burned in my chest.

  “You know the man who broke into your apartment?”

  I stared. A cold sweat prickled my skin. “Yes,” I said, my voice dead, hollow. I waited for Sawyer to continue but he didn’t, once again choking back revulsion. “Sawyer, what about him? Who is he?” I pleaded for an answer but when he finally opened his mouth to speak, it snapped back shut, his fingers curling into a fist.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he muttered to himself as he stared past me.

  Turning around, I expected to see Jake and Sloane but instead, I saw a stunning brunette in an impossibly short dress – joined by him.

  Dane Fucking McNulty.

  “Holy shit!” he clapped, his volume startling the adjacent tables. “Look at you two. Like fuckin’ deer in headlights,” he laughed, his grey eyes twinkling with true excitement as he strolled to us. “Sawyer.” Dane slapped a heavy hand onto his shoulder. “I don’t know if I should congratulate you or punch you in the fuckin’ head, you fuckin’ dog.”

  “Get your hand off of me,” Sawyer flung him away. Dane held his hands up, feigning hurt.

  “Really, dude? I was actually going to say good job on growing some balls and doing what you said you’d do that night we saw Jackson and Gabby together.” He turned to me with mock sympathy. “Not to bring that up again. I’m sure it’s a sore subject. But I’m guessing it’s what made this happen, right?” he said, pointing back and forth between us.

  “This isn’t what you think it is, Dane,” I bit back. “There is such thing as a non-sexual encounter, even though I’m sure you’d love to believe otherwise.”

  A slow grin spread Dane’s lip
s. “Goddamn, I’ve heard about that sharp tongue,” he murmured, eyeing between my mouth. He turned to Sawyer. “How was it, brother? As good as Jackson says?”

  The table lurched forward as Sawyer rose to his feet, pressing a forearm into Dane’s chest. “Listen, don’t talk to me like that and don’t talk to her at all. This isn’t what you think it is but I don’t owe you an explanation so why don’t you walk the fuck away and go have lunch with that poor girl over there who doesn’t know what kind of disgusting fucking prick you are,” he muttered, walking forward and forcing Dane back. Dane only sneered.

  “Fuck, you guys are such a drag these days. You, Jackson, all of you,” he shook his head. “Don’t worry, I’ll make things exciting for you guys again. I have a feeling Jackson would love to hear about this.”

  Sawyer’s jaw twitched but he swallowed whatever words were on the tip of his tongue. Glaring, he watched Dane till he was seated across the restaurant. Then, he grabbed Jake and Sloane’s coat and nodded out the door. “Come on. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  That night, I sat violently shaking in the hot bath Jake had drawn for me in his soaking tub. It had taken some coaxing but I’d finally gotten Sawyer to finish what he had begun telling me at Broome Street Kitchen. He said it all quickly before Jake or Sloane could return, and what he revealed made me so instantly sick that my knees buckled. His arms had caught me before I hit the floor but a part of me wished that he’d just let go. I wanted to fall. I wanted to crash and shatter into a million pieces.

  It had been a suspicion of mine but now I knew – everything I ever had with Jackson had been a lie. I had no idea who he was. All I knew was that he was a master manipulator – someone who knew exactly how to get his way, no matter how much money or many connections it took. Some way, somehow, he found a way to bend life in is favor.