Light Her Fire

by Samanthe Beck

  She sighed and yanked her head out of the clouds. Time to grow up, wake up, and give up on the dream, but he’d asked her to come to his place for dinner tonight, and she couldn’t help hoping maybe he was planning something.

  The sound of high heels clacking down the sidewalk behind her caught her attention. She turned to find Ginny running after her. The redhead slowed and smoothed a hand over her bangs.

  “Oh, hey, Mel. Heading to work?”

  “As I do most mornings around this time.”

  Ginny drew closer and whispered, “Will the lab results be in by now?”

  “They should be.”

  “Thank God. The uncertainty is killing me.”

  She turned to Ginny. “I can only imagine.”

  Ginny stared straight ahead, unfazed by the sarcasm. “Looks like we’re not the only ones on pins and needles.”

  Roger sat on the granite steps leading to the medical office. He waved when he saw her and got to his feet. “Hi, Mel. I was in the neighborhood this morning, and I thought I’d swing by and see if you had any news—”

  “I don’t know yet. Come on up.” She led them up the stairs and to the office, frowning as she stuck her key in the lock and realized the main door to the suite was already unlocked.

  “Ellie?” she called as she stepped through the door.

  “Yes,” her boss called from the reception area. “I came in a little early, because I had to know if you were”—her voice broke off as she stuck her head through the reception window and saw Roger and Ginny—“going to help me with that…paperwork.” She eyed Melody uncertainly.

  “Apparently I forfeited my HIPAA rights somewhere around the time I sent Roger into Dalton’s to buy me a pregnancy test. It’s okay, Ellie, spill.”

  “This might be something you want to share with”—again she looked at their audience—“someone else first.”

  Melody dropped into a guest chair. “Holy smokes, I really am, aren’t I?”

  Ellie nodded, and then gave the barest hint of a smile. “Yes. Officially.”

  A baby. Goodness. She flattened her hand to her stomach, and to her utter surprise, burst into tears. Three concerned people instantly sprang to her sides, all talking at once.

  “It’s going to be okay, Mel,” Roger promised.

  “Don’t be afraid. You’ll be an amazing mom,” Ginny said.

  “Give her some air,” Ellie ordered. “Roger, could you please get her some water? We keep chilled bottles in the little fridge under the counter in the office area.”

  “I’m fine,” Melody said, even as he rushed away to fetch the water. She sniffed and swiped impatiently at her tears. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I’m excited, and petrified, and…nervous. It’s complicated.”

  “Get used to swift and powerful emotional reactions. You’re undergoing tremendous changes in hormone levels. Intensified feelings and mood swings come with the territory.”

  Roger ran back in, crouched beside her chair, and handed her a water. Then he turned his somewhat alarmed eyes to Ellie. “This is normal?”

  “You should back up, Roger,” Ginny interjected. “Mel told me Belinda punched her husband in the face when she was pregnant.”

  “She was in labor, and having a really bad contraction,” Melody explained. “I’m not going to punch anyone.”

  “Oh, God.” Roger paled. “Labor, contractions, birth…let’s not think about that right now.” He eased into the other chair.

  Ginny grinned and cocked a brow at Melody. “I think your list of possible labor coaches just got shorter. I’m available, and I know how to dodge a punch…what?” she added when Roger shot her an exasperated look. “Just sayin’.”

  “The role of labor coach actually is a matter I ought to discuss with someone else first.”

  “Would you like to do that now?” Ellie asked. “I can manage the morning patient load if you want to take some personal time.”

  Tempting, but she shook her head. “He’s at work. I’m seeing him tonight. That should give me enough time to figure out how I want to tell him he’s going to be a daddy.”

  “Okay. I’m sure you’ll want to find a good obstetrician, and I can definitely give you some referrals, but we have a few minutes before the first patient of the day arrives, and there are some basic pregnancy dos and don’ts I should go over with you.”

  Roger and Ginny stood. They obviously recognized a cue to leave when they heard one.

  Roger came over and hugged her. “Congratulations, honey. Give Josh my congratulations, too.”

  She returned the hug. “Will do.”

  “Tell him he’s a lucky man.”

  “I’m probably crazy, but I’m hoping he reaches the conclusion we’re both lucky.”

  Roger smiled and headed out. Ginny gave her a hug as well and rose. “He’s crazy if he doesn’t. Just…” She hesitated, as if debating whether to finish the thought.

  “Just what?”

  “I know you’ve got your ‘simple and easy’ rule, and I know why, but keep in mind what Coach Connie used to tell us when we were on the cheer squad.”

  “Stay flexible?”

  “Exactly. Call me later.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Josh stood at the counter of French’s Fine Jewelry and blinked at the mind-boggling selection of diamond rings. He shouldn’t have traded two hours of shift time—he should have taken the whole damn day. Who knew buying an engagement ring involved so many questions?

  True, he’d never bought one before, but he’d assumed—wrongly, it was now clear—he would stroll in, check the options, and buy one. But no. There were questions involved, and every time he gave the geezer behind the counter an answer, the response gave rise to a whole new batch of questions. Cut? Color? Setting? Baguettes or no baguettes? He was half a second from closing his eyes, pointing at the glass display case, and saying, “Give me that one,” when the clerk asked, “What’s her ring size?”

  Finally, a question he understood. Unfortunately, it completely stumped him. He turned and stared out the store’s large front windows, hoping for…what? A sign from God? A man passing by caught his eye. “One sec,” he muttered to the clerk and sprinted out the door.

  “Hey, Reynolds.”

  Roger turned, polite smile in place. It slipped a notch when he saw Josh. “Chief Bradley,” he said cautiously.

  “Josh,” he corrected. “I have a quick question.”

  “Um, sure.” He approached the store. “How can I help you?”

  “What size ring does Melody wear?”

  “Ah. She’s six and a half, if I remember correctly. I haven’t bought her jewelry in a while.”

  “Thanks.”

  The blond man nodded. “You’re welcome.” He started to turn away, then paused. “Are congratulations in order?”

  “I won’t know until later tonight…assuming I can pick a damn ring before sundown,” he added under his breath. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell Roger to get his ass in the store and help him, but the other man saved him the trouble.

  “Want a second opinion? I can at least show you what her first engagement ring looked like, so you avoid duplication.”

  Good point. “If you’ve got a minute.”

  “A minute?” He grinned and led the way back into French’s. “You’re ambitious. Hi, George,” he greeted the clerk, and then scanned the glass case. “Okay, let’s see what we’ve got. There. This one looks almost exactly like the one I bought her.”

  Josh stared at the ring. Shit, the thing had a fuckton of diamonds all over it. Two bands of bling holding a big center stone sandwiched between two slightly smaller ones.

  Roger laughed. “I was eighteen and overcompensating like crazy. I think Mel secretly found it gaudy—which it is—but she never said a word. Which one are you considering?”

  “I was going more in this direction.” He pointed to a ring with a single diamond band, and a round center stone surrounded by a small
perimeter of blue stones. “The blue reminds me of her eyes.”

  Roger nodded. “French-set halo diamond and sapphire band. She’ll love it.”

  Josh eyed the clerk. “Do you have this in six and a half?”

  George unlocked the case and retrieved the ring. He placed it on a black velvet mat and smiled approvingly. “This happens to be her size.”

  “Box it up.” He’d never felt so relieved to hand over his Visa.

  George disappeared into the back room with the ring and the credit card.

  “Any other shopping on the agenda this afternoon?”

  He hadn’t planned on any, but then again, he’d never done this before. Roger had the advantage of experience. “Should there be?”

  “Dinner?”

  “I figured on something quiet at my place. I put in a to-go order in at DeShay’s for chicken-fried chicken.”

  “Good call.”

  “And I’ll hit Boone’s Market beforehand for wine.” And condoms.

  “You can skip that.”

  “What?”

  George emerged from the back room at that moment with the ring boxed and bagged, and handed Josh his credit card and the receipt to sign.

  “Nothing. Never mind. What about candles and flowers? You have those covered?”

  He hadn’t given them any thought. As a rule, firefighters didn’t harbor the same fascination with wax-coated torches as the general public. He signed his name to the charge slip and handed it back to George. “Candles are responsible for an estimated 15,000 home fires every year in the United States.”

  Roger crossed his arms. “They’re romantic. They set a mood. Same with flowers.”

  Josh started to see the argumentative attorney under the nice-guy exterior. He glanced at his watch and dug in his heels. “I’m expecting Melody at my place in less than two hours.”

  “Then we shouldn’t waste any more time debating, should we?”

  Two hours later Josh moved the match to the tip of the second long white taper candle. When the wick lit, he flicked the match out and stepped back to take in the scene. Okay, points to Roger. The candles looked nice, and cast a warm glow over the table. The vase of red roses with a lot of tiny white flowers thrown in for who-the-fuck-knew didn’t hurt, either.

  The sound of a car door closing quickened his pulse. Pathetic. A man who walked into burning buildings for a living ought to be able to hold his shit together better. He waited for her knock, and then walked to the door. As soon as he opened it, his pulse took off again, but this time for a familiar reason.

  She looked beautiful—like a sexy angel with her shining blond waves tumbling over shoulders left bare by her body-hugging white dress. He might have spent an extra moment simply staring, because she smiled and tipped her head. “Am I too early?”

  He leaned in and kissed her, telling himself to keep it romantic even as his tongue said “fuck that” and laid claim to her mouth. By the time they broke apart, they were both panting, and talking threatened to slip several notches down on the night’s agenda. “Bluelick, from my perspective, you’re just in time.”

  The look on her face when she stepped inside shored up his priorities. She clearly hadn’t expected muted lights, soft music, candles, and whatnot. When her stunned eyes returned to him, he wanted to boot his own ass for not doing a night like this before. She deserved all the romance. Even if it wasn’t second nature to him. Moving forward, he needed to remember the small details, because the next time he planned a quiet evening for two, he didn’t want her looking at him as if she suspected the real Josh Bradley had been replaced with an alien imposter.

  “What’s all this?”

  “We’re celebrating. I have some big news.” He gestured for her to sit on the sofa.

  She settled herself on the leather. “Funny, I have some big news, too.”

  “I’m pretty sure mine’s bigger.” He took a seat beside her.

  Her brows arched. “I bet you’re wrong.”

  The corner of the ring box dug into his thigh. He shifted positions. “I wouldn’t bet against the house.”

  “You might say my bet’s already down. In fact, consider me all in. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

  “Fine. But no calling this thing before I’m finished talking. Hear me out completely.” He shifted onto one knee in front of her and reached into his pocket for the ring.

  “Oh my God. Josh—”

  “Shh. I haven’t even started yet, and you’re already interrupting.” A flip of his finger opened the box. Her eyes shifted from his face, to the ring, and then back to his face. Tears glittered now—bad sign? Her lips curved into a smile. Good sign.

  “The first night we got together, I warned you I don’t surprise easily, but the truth is, you constantly surprise me. I wasn’t expecting prim, proper Miss Bluelick to stroll over and proposition me in the middle of Boone’s. I wasn’t expecting any of what happened from that moment on, and I sure as hell wasn’t expecting to fall in love. But I did. Total surprise. And I want you to keep on surprising me for the rest of our lives.”

  Her watery laugh eased some of the tension lodged between his shoulders.

  “I love you, too,” she said, “but as for surprises, careful what you wish for, Chief, because I’ve got a doozy. I’m—”

  “I’m not done, Bluelick.” He feigned exasperation. “Do you want the ring or not?”

  “Yes!” She reached for it. He snapped the lid shut just before her fingers brushed the case. Her startled giggle made him want to throw her down on the sofa and seal the deal, but they had one more important item to discuss. “Not so fast. You have to sit quietly through the rest of what I have to say.”

  She made a motion of zipping her lips and then folded her hands in her lap. When she looked up at him, amusement, excitement, and something he couldn’t label were flickering in her eyes.

  He drew in a breath. Now for the tricky part. “I’ve accepted an offer to take over as chief in Cincinnati.” He watched her face as he spoke. Surprise, he’d expected, but not the wide-eyed panic, or the slow, unconscious shake of her head.

  “Tell them no.”

  “I’ve already told them yes. I want you to come with me.”

  She shook her head even harder. Her hands bunched into fists. “I can’t come with you to…to…” She raised an arm and extended it toward the door, and he noticed it shook. “I can’t move to Cincinnati, Josh. I’m pregnant.”

  Silence followed, and the words echoed around the room—or his mind—possibly both. All he could hear was, I’m pregnant, I’m pregnant, I’m pregnant. He shook his head to clear it. “You’re what?”

  “I’m pregnant. I found out for sure today.”

  Holy shit, you’re going to be a father. The realization left him slightly light-headed, until a detail from his conversation with Roger clicked through his mind. When he’d mentioned buying wine for tonight, the other man had said, “You won’t need that.” All the thoughts swirling inside him turned to iron shavings and flew toward the magnet of that recollection.

  He put the ring on the coffee table and stood. “You told Roger. You told Roger before you told me.”

  “You told your old boss you’d take a job in Cincinnati before you even asked me about it. But now you see why you can’t accept. Our support network is here—friends, my family…” She made an all-encompassing circle with her hands.

  Fuck. This wasn’t going the way he’d imagined. The whole “I’m pregnant” news represented a massive un-factored element. A minefield of emotions he didn’t have time to tiptoe through suddenly lay before him. Was he ready? Would he make a good father?

  Melody’s reaction, on the other hand, was pure emotion, and that’s where he needed to do the tiptoeing. Persuade her with logic. He paced a couple of steps, lined up his arguments, and paced back.

  “Cincinnati’s only two hours away, and my job is there. A job that just became more important because I have a child to support. I’m not asking
you to move to Timbuktu, for Christ’s sake. As chief of the CFD my hours will be much more regular. We can come down on weekends and visit. Your job—okay, granted, I don’t see how you can keep working for Ellie—but if you want to work, the good news is there are doctor’s offices in Ohio, too.” Nice and logical. She can’t argue with anything you said.

  He should have stopped there, but he didn’t. He pushed his luck because he wanted to convince her. “There’s a support network in Cincinnati, too. I have friends—”

  A humorless laugh cut him off. “Oh no. Don’t even go there. I met your friends last night, remember?” She shuddered. “I would never fit in with that crowd.”

  Okay, wrong tactic. As of right now, she had a better support network here. But she would make new friends, dammit. The Cinci FD stood by its own. He sat down on the sofa, close to her, but not touching her. “You would if you tried. Don’t judge the possibilities by one crappy night confronting my past.”

  “I’m not. I’m thinking about the future. Living in Cincinnati, raising a family there…? That’s not the future I want for us…for our child.”

  Debating what she wanted was a losing battle. The sinking sense of a stalemate made his voice rougher than he intended. “No, you want me to turn down the career opportunity of a lifetime because you’re afraid you’ll be homesick. That’s the wrong attitude. You should be looking at this as a chance to start a new phase of your life with the man who loves you, and the father of your child. Where’s the tragedy in that?”

  “Gosh, you’re smart. In addition to unilaterally deciding where we should raise our child, you’re qualified to tell me how I should feel.”

  Her expression grew resolute, and he could feel her walls going up. She picked up the ring box, looked at the diamond, and then at him. “Have you even considered staying here?”

  Honest seemed like the best policy. “No. Bluelick, I never intended to stay here long-term. I told you that going in.”

  She nodded, put the ring on the table, and stood. So much for honesty.

  “You did. I have to go.”

  He stood, too. “What’s that supposed to mean?”