All Things Beautiful

by Cathy Maxwell

  Brader went still. Finally, he admitted it. “Yes. Fuller felt you might be involved, especially when we realized your brother James spent most of the afternoon in the house.”

  The lump formed again in her throat; a weight pressed against her chest. “And that’s why I must leave.”

  Brader opened his mouth to protest, but Julia reached up quickly and covered his lips with her fingers. “I’m not angry or hurt. I understand Fuller’s reasons and agree with him. For those same reasons and”—she paused before putting all the emotion welling up inside of her into her next words—“and because I love you, I’m begging you to put me aside. Distance yourself from the scandal and disgrace.”

  “No one will know what happened this afternoon.”

  “Everyone will know. My family plotted to murder you. Geoffrey bragged that Peter, with Geoff’s encouragement, told everyone I was unhappy in our marriage and he was going to take me away from you. You’re not so naïve as to believe that just because a matter is not bandied about in the morning post, it will not be fodder for gossip. Not something this lurid.”

  She couldn’t keep the bitterness from her voice and no longer tried.

  “Whether I am guilty or innocent, I will be judged and convicted because it makes the gossip more titillating. Worse, our children would suffer for the imagined sins of their mother. Society is a small unforgiving circle, Brader. Even your merchant friends would not accept you with me at your side. In some ways, they are more narrow-minded than the ton. I will be branded a murderess and adulteress regardless of what we know to be true.”

  Arms with the strength of steel banded around her waist, pulling her back to him before he tilted his head back and laughed.

  Blinking back the threatening tears, Julia saw nothing funny. In a pique, she slapped his arm, attempting to free herself. “Brader, this is not a joke. I’m serious. Before the week’s out, not one soul in London will believe Geoffrey and Jamie had a carriage accident or whatever story you and Fuller agree to put out. And don’t be surprised if I’m accused of their deaths also.”

  His eyes danced with laughter when he gained control of himself and looked down at her. “Julia, I love you, and if you’ll have me, I will be by your side for the rest of our mortal lives—regardless of the number of brothers you are accused of murdering.”

  Shocked, she exclaimed, “Brader, listen to reason!”

  He responded by gathering her closer. “No, you listen to me. More than likely, their deaths will be laid at my door. Certainly Harry and Lionel will never talk, even if they do return from where I’m planning to ship them. However, most people will agree that it is good riddance to a bad lot. You’re not like your family, Julia. And over time people, good people who haven’t built their lives on spite and malice, will realize it.”

  Julia wanted to believe him. His hand stroked her back. Soothing. How easy it would be to relax against him, to trust what he said. She denied his words with a small shake of her head. “I wish I could believe you. All my brothers turned out bad. What if it is in the blood? This is not a legacy I want to pass on to our children.”

  “Believe me,” he commanded. “I’ve lived it. I’ve had to fight my father’s reputation, and I discovered there are people in this world who judge a man for what he is and not by some claptrap about family and bad blood.”

  “Your father?”

  “Aye. They hanged him at Old Bailey for murder and highway robbery.” He grinned, a wicked, teasing grin. “Mayhap we were destined for each other.”

  Julia’s eyes popped open. “Your father? Nan…” Her voice trailed off, words failing her.

  Brader finished the sentence for her. “Yes. My mother fell in love with gallows meat. They called him Gentleman Thomas Wolf, and he had a way with the ladies. Rumor has it women lined up to touch his body one last time before he was carted off to the Surgeon’s College.”

  Julia couldn’t suppress the shudder that ran through her. “How did Nan meet him?”

  “In prison. She caught his eye when she was thrown into debtor’s prison. I like to think he didn’t force himself on her, but with two small children to feed, Mother was in no position to bargain.”

  “When she spoke of him, he sounded like a saint. I can’t believe what you are saying.”

  “My father was a thief and murderer, the kind of man who wouldn’t hesitate to force his attentions on a defenseless widow. Aye,” he said to Julia, accurately interpreting her next question. “It bothers me. I’ve fought my whole life against the image, working to prove that I was a better man than he.”

  “But Nan loved him!”

  The features of Brader’s face softened, and he shook his head in amazement. “Yes. Whatever magic touch my father had with women, he worked it on my mother. I believe she loved him more than her first husband.”

  With his words, the lamplight glinted on the old metal of the wedding band she still wore. She hadn’t been able to bear the thought of parting with this reminder of his love. A chill ran up her spine as she remembered Nan’s words as clearly as if she whispered in her ear: “Yes, we loved.”

  Julia turned her gaze up to Brader’s face. His features looked bleak in the lamplight. Before she could speak, he said, “John and Mary were never strong. I felt guilty that I, the son of a thief and a murderer, had the benefit of strong muscles and robust health. I should have been the one to suffer, yet they, parson’s children from her first and only marriage, could never live life to its fullest.”

  Julia lifted her fingertips to soothe the hard, flat lines of Brader’s mouth. “I know what you are saying,” she whispered. “I understand how it feels to be unworthy. That’s how I feel now. I don’t deserve you.”

  She no longer fought the tears that flowed freely from her eyes. What had Nan said? Tears cleansed and helped her cope? Julia swiped them away in a vain attempt to gather her composure.

  “Brader, you are too good for me. There is some other woman out there with descent family connections, without the scandal and the pain. She’ll make you a better wife.” But she’ll never love you as much as I do, she added silently.

  “Julia, do you love me?”

  Yes! she wanted to cry. Instead, she answered, “This is so hard.”

  “Then give it up, Julia, because I don’t want another woman. I want you. Infuriating, challenging, maddening Julia Markham Wolf. Together we make a whole person.” Leaning his cheek against the top of her head, he whispered, “Don’t leave me. Don’t ever leave me.” He paused, and then, taking in a deep shuddering breath, finished, “I need you.”

  He needed her. And she needed him. Julia answered by throwing her arms around his waist, hugging him with all her heart, and vowing to do so for the rest of her life.

  Epilogue

  Kimberwood

  Christmas 1836

  “No, I will not speak to your father for you.”

  “You have to,” Nan wailed. “If he believes you support David and me, he’ll have a more open mind.”

  Julia looked at her daughter with pride and exasperation. At twenty, Nan Wolf had her father’s intelligence and her mother’s beauty. “You involve yourself with a man you know your parents will find unacceptable, and you want me to present him to your father?”

  “I love him,” Nan reaffirmed. “We want your blessing and I know you’ll give it, once you’ve met him.”

  “But an actor, Nan? Running around in the sort of circles where you would risk meeting an actor was not what we had in mind when we sent you to Miss Agatha’s!”

  “Mother, you are so old-fashioned. Actually, he is a playwright as well as an actor. He could be another Shakespeare.”

  Julia delivered a pointed glare at her daughter for her audacity. “Old-fashioned I may be, but I can promise you this, young lady, your father will never agree to your marrying anyone connected with the theater.”

  “Can’t you withhold judgment until after you’ve met him?”

  Julia ignored the stifled
giggles of the younger children, Anthony, Emma, and Victoria, gathered around the table for the holiday meal. Suddenly suspicious, she ventured a shrewd guess. “He’s here.”

  A guilty blush stole up Nan’s cheeks before she confessed. “In the stable.”

  Julia choked. “The stable? You’ve stashed your young man away in the stable?”

  Nan nodded in wide-eyed muteness.

  “And he’s standing there docilely?”

  The look in Nan’s eyes grew guilty. She nodded.

  Julia didn’t have to say a word. Sixteen-year-old Anthony gave a hoot. “Lor’, Nan, I can’t imagine you married to any man who’d let you play the tune.” The youngest two laughed with him.

  “Be quiet, brats,” their sister snapped, completely forgetting the air of sophistication she’d honed during her year of teaching at Miss Agatha’s Scientific Academy for Young Women.

  Julia frowned. To think she and Brader had deliberately chosen a school dedicated to the enlightened education of young women, not just the polishing of French verbs and manners advocated by so many other schools for young ladies. And they had been pleased when Miss Agatha had asked Nan to teach! Now Julia wished they’d sent their oldest daughter to a nunnery.

  The beginning of a headache threatened. Furious with Nan for upsetting her favorite holiday, Julia decided to cut through the laughter and bantering of the children and regain control of the situation. But before she could speak a word, Fisher interrupted her with a conspiratorial clearing of his throat, the sign Brader was on his way to join them.

  Shooting him a grateful look, Julia motioned for the suddenly silent children to stand behind their chairs at the table to await their father. She had no idea how she was going to present Nan’s declaration of love to Brader.

  A second later, he filled the doorway with his dynamic presence. After all these years, he could still take her breath away.

  Very little about him had changed. His dark hair, now streaked with silver, remained as thick and in need of the barber’s touch as ever. Julia teased him that he went in and out of fashion with regularity. He countered that he wasn’t a slave to anyone’s whims but hers.

  His shoulders were still broad and strong, and he moved with the quiet ease of a man sure of his place in the world.

  He’d received his knighthood. Granted it had been delayed, those years long ago after the scandal had broken. However, Napoleon had made his move to conquer the Continent, and Britons had something more to occupy their minds than the Markhams.

  Julia had gratefully slipped into the obscurity of being the wife of the man Britain depended upon to negotiate with the world’s money suppliers to finance the war against a tyrant. She loved motherhood. Their oldest, John, had been born the second year of their marriage. Thomas had followed two years later, and then Nan…

  Julia sighed, bringing her thoughts to the present. Discretion had never been a part of Nan’s character. She was headstrong and resilient. Brader teased that they had created another Julia. Catching a glimpse of the defiant tilt of Nan’s jaw, Julia feared he was right.

  She cleared her voice, gave him her most dazzling smile, and prayed the right words would come to her mind. Brader doted on all his children, but Nan held a special place in his heart.

  Before Julia could speak, Nan rose regally to her feet. “Father, I wish to discuss an important matter with you.” Anthony rudely guffawed.

  “I imagine you do,” Brader replied dryly, silencing his son with a look before stepping aside to reveal a slender young man standing in the doorway behind him.

  “David!” Nan cried, crossing over to him.

  Handsome and blond, David blushed and took her hand in his while placing a protective arm around her waist—in front of her parents, Julia noticed in mild surprise. She was even more surprised when Brader accepted David’s action with bemused indulgence.

  Together the young couple turned and faced her.

  Her mother-in-law’s words of twenty-five years earlier, “You’ll be a magnificent couple,” echoed through Julia’s mind. Not for the first time did Julia wish her mother-in-law could be with them.

  Her husband stretched his long frame out in the chair beside her in the place at the table where Nan usually sat. He gave her a conspirator’s wink through his gold-rimmed lenses, which he now wore all the time. “I can’t believe you would order your betrothed to stand in the stables,” he chastised Nan mildly.

  David blushed an even brighter red. He lifted his chin, a sign of pride that was not lost on Julia.

  “Nan, I wasn’t about to stand waiting,” David was explaining. “I came into the house, begged an audience, and introduced myself to your father.”

  Julia caught a suspicious twitch at the corner of Brader’s mouth. She leaned closer to him. “Don’t tell me you’ve known of this?”

  Brader raised a brow. “Fuller.”

  Over the years, Herbert Fuller had continued to keep his watchful eye over all his employer’s loved ones. It gave Julia immeasurable relief to know that her two eldest sons, John and Thomas, were even now under the watchful but unobtrusive eye of Mr. Fuller’s crack private police force while they worked for Brader’s interests in the Orient.

  “And why didn’t you tell me?”

  Brader’s teeth flashed white and strong in his smile. “Because I wanted to know if the puppy could stand up for himself.”

  “Is he from a good family?” Julia couldn’t stop herself from asking the question, knowing full well Brader anticipated it.

  His eyes crinkled at the corners. “Yes, David Penrose is the youngest son of a prosperous cotton trader, educated at Oxford, and a more than passable playwright. He’s already earned himself a comfortable living and started his own troupe of players.”

  “Still, an actor,” Julia stated flatly. “I had no idea you’d countenance an actor in the family.”

  “You’re the snob,” he teased.

  Julia accepted the teasing but felt the ache of tears. She confessed, “I was counting on you to say nay to the match. I have no quarrel with this young David, but I’m not ready to lose one of our children to marriage. Not yet.”

  “But there will be grandchildren,” he reminded her, the brown of his eyes darkening to deep sherry. He lifted a hand to stroke the curve of her cheek, his touch reminding her of all they’d shared over the years. His hands had held her while she sobbed her heart out when her first pregnancy had ended in miscarriage…and it had been her hands that had held and comforted him when they’d lost their four-year-old Mary to smallpox fifteen years ago.

  Through the years they’d loved, comforted, and protected each other. Life was fuller than Julia had ever imagined. No taint of scandal had ever touched their children. She and Brader had ensured their well-being and safety.

  Brader interrupted her thoughts, leaning toward her. “Besides, I think he might be the right man for our Nan.”

  Julia cast a doubtful look at the couple. “They look so young.” Even as she spoke, she notice that David had managed with a look to quell Nan’s ever-impetuous tongue. Apparently, he was a stronger man than his youth and blushing good looks credited.

  “They are young,” Brader agreed. “But David convinced me to give my blessing to the match.”

  “You’ve already agreed!”

  “Yes, Julia. I like him very much and you will too, once you hear the reason he wants our daughter’s hand.”

  Julia gave a small yet still ladylike snort. She’d counted on Brader’s turning down the offer. Nan married? The idea was alien to her.

  “Penrose,” Brader ordered, “tell Mrs. Wolf what you told me about why you want to marry Nan.”

  David flushed an even more vivid red, making Julia feel sorry for him, especially when she could feel the smiles of the younger children at his discomfort. How in the world did this man keep his composure on the stage? Well, he’d better get used to his share of attention if he planned on being a member of the family. All members of the Wol
f family had to face their share of teasing. Teasing came with the joy and laughter of loving.

  David gave Nan’s hand a reassuring squeeze. Nan looked at him with such obvious clear-eyed affection, Julia knew her daughter was in love.

  He turned his attention to Julia. “I told Mr. Wolf that when I look in Nan’s eyes, I see all things beautiful in the world. I want her with me all my living days.”

  All things beautiful…. Julia knew Brader was right. Nan had chosen well.

  She turned to her husband, not surprised to find his lips close to hers. They kissed then, heedless of the giggling children, the stoic servants, or the red-faced young man who would wed their daughter with both their blessings.

  The circle would start again, renewed. Brader was right about something else too, Julia decided suddenly. Grandchildren would be very nice. She smiled with happy anticipation and leaned back into her husband’s arm. Life was good.

  Life was complete.

  Life was beautiful.

  About the Author

  Cathy Maxwell spends hours in front of her computer pondering the question “Why do people fall in love?” The question remains for her the great mystery of life and the secret to happiness.

  She lives in beautiful Virginia with children, horses, dogs and cats.

  Fans can contact Cathy at www.cathymaxwell.com or PO Box 1532, Midlothian, VA 23113.

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