“Oh, my God.” Evan bent over laughing.
Ryan smiled. His laughter built slowly as Evan fell on the floor, rolling around. He finally lost it when Evan started coughing because he was laughing so hard. “Van.”
“I can’t believe this shit!”
Cameron stood by the door with Toby; they smiled at each other and Cameron motioned toward the staircase. “Breakfast?”
“Yup.”
Ryan stretched on the bed with Evan. They held hands and Ryan looked over at Evan. “So, asshole roommate?”
“It happened… we were fighting about the room and he threw me into the coffee table. I went to the hospital —”
“What!” Ryan sat up.
“I’m okay.” Evan smiled, pulling him back down. “But then, I don’t know. He was just so sweet, and I ended up kissing him in the shower.”
Ryan’s heart broke. He was in love with Evan — had always been. “And now?’
“I don’t know.” Evan glanced at Ryan. His eyes were searching Ryan’s beautiful gray eyes. “What about you?”
“We fool around… I mean, it’s not a relationship.” Ryan wanted to make that clear. He only wanted one guy, but that one guy was with someone else.
Evan let out a sigh of relief and quickly covered it with a cough. He rolled over onto his side, looking at Ryan. His Ryan. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” Ryan looked into his eyes. Their fingers threaded together and he closed his eyes. “This is hilarious. I flew all the way out here to tell you I was gay face-to-face only to find out you’re gay too.”
“God, I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you, Ryan. I really did. I guess I was going to wait until the summer to tell you, and then I thought, I mean, I know it sounds stupid. Everyone we know is gay, but then I thought it might change how you feel about me.”
“I get it.” Ryan looked at him. His thumb caressed Evan’s cheek. “Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you, Van.”
“Me, either.”
Ryan pulled Evan into him and held him. He had missed him so much and loved the whisper of Evan’s breath on his neck; this felt right. Evan in his arms.
Cameron looked at Toby. The guy was so hot, shit would melt around him. They had been talking about football and Toby’s change of schools, which Cameron had found amusing.
“I don’t mean to laugh. I just never had that problem. No one ever bullied me.”
“I can see why.” Toby looked at him. He was huge, at least six-foot-three, and muscular, but his eyes are what had him staring. He had the most beautiful gray eyes. “So was it just me?”
Cameron shook his head. “Nope. Sexual tension was so thick in there I almost came in my pants.”
“Wow… you just say whatever, don’t you?” Toby’s hands were sweating.
Cameron leaned forward. Toby had the most gorgeous eyes — sky-blue with hints of gold. “Does it bother you?”
Toby felt his mouth dry up. He swallowed hard. “No.”
“So, I think it’s safe to assume that Evan and Ryan are in love and in denial about it.” Cameron sat back, cracking his fingers.
“You put up a good front. You’re hurt.”
“Of course I am. I have feelings for Evan, but I think you’re like me. You won’t be with someone when you know they’re in love with someone else, that’s just…”
“Pathetic?” Toby offered.
“Nail on the head. So, what do we do about it?”
Toby grabbed a napkin and a pen from the girl next to him. She was more than happy to help him out when he flashed his smile at her. He jotted numbers down on a napkin and handed it to Cameron. “We need to work together.”
Cameron sat back looking at the phone number. “You hitting on me?”
“As soon as we fix Ryan and Evan, you bet your ass.” Toby sat forward. “I’ll give you time to get over Evan.”
“I’m not in love with him.”
“Well then, guess we have work to do.”
Evan was pressed close to Ryan. He wasn’t small, muscles or height wise, but Ryan towered over him now, and the muscles… holy shit, Ryan had bulked up. He smiled, breathing him in without being obvious about it. Being with Ryan only reinforced his feelings for him. He loved him. That had never changed.
“Are you staying?” Evan asked.
“Well, I’d feel a little weird staying in the same room with your boyfriend.” Ryan chuckled.
“He’s not — I mean, we’ve never said that.”
Ryan searched his eyes. “So, he’s not your boyfriend?”
“Not technically. I like him a lot, it’s just that —” Evan looked into his eyes. “I —”
“We’re back,” Cameron announced as they came through the door. Toby smiled when Cameron threw him a beer. “England, it has its perks.”
Ryan closed his eyes. He didn’t want to let go. Evan hugged him tighter and he hugged him back. “We’ll be right out.”
“Take your time!” Toby called out. “Are you okay?” he whispered.
“I will be.” Cameron smiled as Toby took his hand. “You work fast.”
“You’re fucking hot.” Toby got the reaction he wanted from Cameron. He let out a loud laugh.
“Slut,” Cameron whispered.
Ryan came out first, looking at Toby drinking a beer. “I guess I’m driving?”
“You’re not leaving already, are you? I thought we could all go out to a club.” Cameron asked Ryan.
“I don’t know. I think I’m jet-lagged.”
“I’m not in the mood to party.” Evan sat back on the couch and sighed.
“Oh, come on, guys!” Toby bounced. “I’ve never been to England. I want to see the sights.”
Ryan looked at Evan and shrugged. “I guess.”
“Good!” Cameron clapped his hands together. “Let’s go.”
Evan sighed. “Shit.”
They hit town and headed to one of their favorite bars. The music was loud and Ryan looked at all the kids, most from neighboring schools he assumed. Cameron was holding Evan’s hand, which was pissing him off. He wanted to be the one who held his hand, kissed him. Toby took his hand and tried to smile. Now that he had seen Evan again, he was all he could think about.
God, he knew he sounded like an asshole. He did care about Toby, but Evan… Evan was the one person he had loved from the day they had laid eyes on each other, or so he was told. He didn’t know about the baby part, but as he and Evan had started getting older, he knew he loved him, would always love him and only him. Ryan sighed and ordered a beer.
“How awesome is that?” Toby grabbed his beer. “I want to go to school here.”
“No, you don’t.” Evan laughed. “I did not want to come here.”
“Then why did you choose this school?” Ryan looked at him.
Evan almost choked on his beer. If he told the truth, then Ryan would know. He had chosen this school so he wouldn’t be pining over Ryan, and Ryan wouldn’t figure out he loved him. “I can drink here.”
“You can drink at home and in Ireland,” Ryan pointed out.
Cameron looked around. “Hey, this a good song, Evan. Come dance with me.”
Cameron dragged him out on the dance floor. He pulled him in his arms, resting his hand on Evan’s ass. He bent down and smiled, watching Ryan’s angry look from the bar out of the corner of his eye. The song was slow, and Evan put his arms around Cameron’s neck, resting his head on his chest. He couldn’t stop looking at Ryan.
Toby had taken Ryan out on the dance floor and held him close. He ran his hands into his hair and smiled at Cameron, winking. They danced close to each other and Evan’s eyes met Ryan’s. Toby’s hand was moving down his back and Evan closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see someone else touching Ryan.
The music went to another slow song and Cameron smiled. “Well, let me steal your partner for a bit, Ryan. Is that okay?”
“Sure…” Ryan looked at Cameron.
“You can dance w
ith Evan.” Toby pushed him into Evan.
They stood staring at each other, and then Ryan put his hand out to him. His hand went around his waist and he pulled him in, threading their fingers together. Evan closed his eyes and listened to Ryan’s heartbeat. It was racing, and he breathed him in. He had a hint of cologne on and his body tingled.
Ryan rested his cheek on Evan’s as they swayed to the music. He tightened his fingers around his as they swayed, his arm pulling him flush with his body. He could smell Evan’s shampoo and reveled in it, his cheek rubbing his.
“Oh yeah, they are in love,” Cameron whispered into Toby’s ear.
Toby’s body broke out in goosebumps. “You got that too? I thought Ryan was going to fly across the bar and beat the shit out of you when you put your hand on Evan’s ass,” Toby whispered back.
Cameron’s lower body was responding to Toby’s body against his. He pulled him in closer, feeling Toby flush against him. Not only was the guy seriously hot, he was funny. Toby’s fingers dug into his back.
“Are you trying to turn me on?” Cameron whispered.
“Aren’t you already?”
Cameron pulled away, looking into his eyes. “Yeah, I am.”
Toby licked his lips. He couldn’t help himself. This guy was not only gorgeous, but up front and honest. He loved it. “I love your eyes.”
“Cheesy, but I love yours too. Sky blue with a hint of gold.” Toby let out a small gasp and Cameron arched a brow. “What?”
“That’s what my mom calls them.”
“Well, they’re beautiful.” Cameron pulled him in hard.
Toby pulse raced as Cameron wrapped his arm around his waist holding him even closer. Any closer and he would be inside him. His breath hitched and he mentally kicked himself for being so obvious. “We’re supposed to be fondling Evan and Ryan, remember? Trying to make them admit —”
“I know.” Cameron leaned forward. “I can’t stop looking at you though. I want to fondle you.”
“Holy shit,” Toby whispered.
Evan and Ryan were a few feet away, and Evan smiled, watching Cameron and Toby dancing close to each other. “I think my non-boyfriend and your non-boyfriend have the hots for each other.”
“They look good together.” Ryan looked at Evan’s face. He had a huge smile. “What?”
“I was just thinking: now that you’re gay, I can make inappropriate comments.”
“You didn’t before?”
“Yes, but now I can say all kinds of shit. You have one hell of a nice ass. I want to bite it.”
“God, you sound just like your dad!” Ryan smiled, tugging Evan closer.
The feel of Ryan against him was making Evan sweat. He was so damned turned on; he wanted Ryan, wanted to kiss him and touch him. Their fingers linked on Ryan’s chest. His hand was at Evan’s lower back, running up and down slowly. His mind took him back to that morning when he had slept over with Ryan. He had woken up with his chest so close to Ryan’s. He had run his lips over Ryan’s neck. God, he had wanted him then.
Ryan had his eyes closed. Evan’s cheek was on his. Evan tightened his arms around him. Just having him in his arms, he wanted to kiss him, tell he loved him and only him, would always love him.
The song ended and they went back to the bar. Cameron challenged Evan to a game of pool and Ryan and Toby watched. He sipped his beer and caught Toby smiling at him. “What?”
“You’re in love with him.”
“What? No I’m not,” Ryan denied.
Toby took his hand. “It’s okay, Ryan. I could tell the minute you came out of that room. You looked like your heart was breaking. We aren’t serious and I’m not taking it personally.”
“You have the hots for Cameron.”
“What? No, I don’t.” Now it was Toby’s turn to deny.
“No? Then you won’t mind if I ask him out.”
“Fine.” Toby sighed. “Yes, I find him drop-dead gorgeous. He has a great sense of humor and he can’t help but say whatever’s on his mind. It’s refreshing.”
Ryan looked at Cameron, leaning over the table. “Damn, he’s got a nice ass.”
“Hey!” Toby smacked him.
Ryan smiled and watched Evan lining up his next shot. Their eyes met and Evan took the shot while watching Ryan. It sank in the corner pocket perfectly.
“Wow, he’s good.” Toby watched Evan make shot after shot.
“Yeah, don’t play him. You’ll just stand there twiddling your thumbs.” Ryan watched Evan leaning over the table, his perfect, tight, round ass calling his name. He could almost hear it.
Toby looked at his watch. “If we’re going to make it home, we need to leave soon. I know we can leave whenever, seeing as you have a jet at your disposal.”
“No, you’re right.” Ryan motioned them back over. “We need to get back. I’ll see Evan in Fort Worth.”
“You’re not going to tell him, are you?” Toby looked at Ryan.
“I will. Eventually.”
“I’ll tell you what: I’ll take Cameron with me, then you and Evan can say goodbye properly.” Toby watched Cameron walking toward him. The way his eyes roamed over his body was making Toby sweat.
“Oh, how noble of you,” Ryan deadpanned.
“I’ll meet you at the airport,” Toby said before turning to Evan. “It was nice to meet you, Evan.”
“You guys are leaving?” Evan looked at Ryan.
“Well it’s a long flight home.”
“You could take it in the morning.” Evan took Ryan’s hand. “Please stay.”
Ryan looked at Toby, and Toby nodded. Ryan stood and downed his beer. “Okay.”
Evan squeezed his hand. “Good. I missed you. We need to catch up.”
Cameron winked at Toby. “Well, let’s head out.”
They got back to the room and drank more. Ryan was feeling it. He was not only jet-lagged, but eight hours behind, and the beer was hitting him hard. Evan took his hand. He said goodnight to Cameron and Toby and guided Ryan to his room, putting him in bed. He went to the bathroom and found Cameron waiting for him.
“Hey.”
“It’s okay, you know,” Cameron told him.
“What?” Evan grabbed his toothbrush.
“You’re in love with Ryan. I can see it. The way you looked in my eyes, it was like you were seeing him.”
Evan put his toothbrush down and sighed. “God, I’m sorry. I do care about you, Cameron.”
“I know you do, and it’s okay.” Cameron cupped his face. “I just want you happy. Tell him, Evan. He loves you too.”
“You think?”
“Ryan Cannon is in love with you. That I know for sure.” Cameron kissed his cheek.
“You like Toby.”
“Long story behind that. Remind me to tell you about it.”
“ ’Night, Cameron, thank you… for everything.” Evan hugged him.
Evan stopped in the doorway to the bedroom, at the sight of Ryan shirtless in his bed. Damn, he was so beautiful. He slipped in the bed and nestled into Ryan, hearing his slow even breathing. This is where he belonged: with Ryan, in his arms. He had always known that. Now that he knew Ryan was gay, maybe they could talk. Maybe Evan could tell him how he felt.
“Van…” Ryan sighed.
“I’m here,” Evan whispered. Ryan’s strong arms came around him and he buried his face in his neck. “I love you, Ryan.”
“I love you too.”
He froze. He thought Ryan was asleep. He pulled away slightly to see Ryan’s gray eyes looking at him. “Ryan?”
Ryan cupped his face, his thumb caressing his cheek. He leaned in and touched his lips lightly to Evan’s. There was a small gasp and he pulled away, searching his face. Their eyes locked and Evan looked for a sign. It was there. Ryan loved him. And not kid love, adult love. He closed his eyes as Ryan’s fingertip traced his lips.
“I love you, Van,” Ryan whispered.
Evan felt Ryan’s lips on his. They flowed over his and
Ryan pulled him in, parting his lips with his tongue. Their tongues met and Evan moaned softly in his mouth. Ryan rolled him on his back, running his hand into his hair, and deepened the kiss. Kissing Evan — God. It was even better than he had imagined. Evan’s hands were in his hair and he was whimpering.
“I love you, Ryan.” Evan pulled him in further.
“I have loved you for so long.” Ryan caressed his face.
“You have?”
“Yes. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted to. There were so many times I wanted to tell you —”
“You didn’t know if I felt the same way.” Evan smiled as Ryan nodded. “I love you, Ryan. I have always loved you.”
“God, we are so stupid.” Ryan chuckled, pressing his forehead to Evan’s.
“Not anymore.”
“No not anymore.”
Evan wrapped his arms around him and opened his mouth taking all of him in. Their tongues moved naturally together. He let out a moan as Ryan ran his hand up his thigh. He spread his legs out, feeling him settle between them. Ryan tore his mouth away and kissed his neck. Evan’s hands were wrapped in his hair as he licked down his chest.
“Ryan.” He arched his back as Ryan’s tongue slid down his stomach. His fingers dug into his ass as he kissed his stomach and licked his hipbone, nibbling at his sides. His breaths were coming out ragged as Ryan came back up his stomach kissing and licking every inch of him. His erection was busting through his boxers as Ryan’s hand slid between his legs.
“I want to touch you,” Ryan whispered, licking his bottom lip.
Evan’s fingers dug into Ryan’s back when he circled his erection. He gave a loud groan as Ryan stroked him, his body throbbing against his. They moved together and Evan grasped him through his boxers. He fumbled with the small opening and, in the end, pulled them down to free Ryan’s cock. He was so turned on he couldn’t breathe, and Ryan was devouring his mouth as he slid over him.
They abandoned stroking each other as Ryan thrust into him, their erections sliding haphazardly over the other. Evan wrapped around him, hanging on as they moved, their lips never separating. Evan couldn’t keep his hands still. They were in his hair, on his back, his ass. He had never wanted anyone as much as he wanted Ryan.
Assassin's Angst: The Santorno Series Page 24