“Just the normal,” I said.
“Cutting off dogs balls and all that?”
I grinned. “Snip, snip.” I made my pointer and middle fingers cut like scissors.
“Christ, I wish someone would have done that to Dave.” Linda rolled her eyes.
“Don’t say that,” I said. “Then you wouldn’t have Paige right now.”
I played this game really well now. Because Linda knew nothing of who I was before I moved in next door. And she never would. Because this was my new life. This was my perfect life.
“That’s the hardest part,” she said. “Keeping a straight face when I hate that man so much because he gave me Paige.”
“So, you’re out here smoking, hating on Dave,” I said. “Something happen?”
“Long day,” Linda said. “Getting everything in order for another big case. Going through depositions. Paperwork. Phone records. You don’t want to hear about it.”
“Of course I do,” I said to her. “We’re neighbors. Friends. Complain to me.”
Linda shook her head. “The truth is… I’m getting tired of my job. I enjoy what I do, but there’s this urge to go back to law school and finish. So I could be the lawyer. I could make the money. I could give off the shit work to someone like me.”
“Then you should do it,” I said.
“With what time?”
“Make time, Linda. I can help. Maybe you should talk to your boss. What if the firm is willing to send you back? You could work where you are, but in a bigger role.”
Linda waved at me. “Stop making sense. This is where I’m supposed to complain, and you tell me I’m right. We complain about the world. Men. Bosses. Money.”
“Well, I can’t help you there, Linda,” I said. “I don’t mind the world right now. I love Ben. I have no boss. And money doesn’t bother me.”
“Yeah, yeah, rub it in,” she said. “Your perfect life next door.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, Linda,” I said.
I touched the flailing ends of my hair, tucking the loose strands behind my ear. No matter what I did with my hair, at the end of the day, it always ended up messy and curly. Ben loved when I straightened my hair and let it down. I liked it either way. Or I should say, it didn’t matter. I had to fight with it before finally just giving up and letting it do what it wanted.
Playing with my hair was a tell-tale sign that I was nervous.
“Of course you didn’t,” she said. “I’m busting on you. How about a drink? Glass of wine?”
“I can’t pass that up,” I said.
I was glad I hadn’t offended Linda by coming across as though I were bragging. I didn’t understand completely what she was going through in life, but I was happy to be there as a friend.
She opened the sliding door and I paused at the entrance.
“You know what?” I said. “Fuck it.”
Linda raised an eyebrow. “Fuck it?”
“The world is going to hell, isn’t it? And men? Don’t get me started. Ben tries to give off this squeaky-clean image, but it can get so annoying. He trims his nose hairs in traffic. He changes his shirt three times. I’m the one who’s ready, waiting for him. And you know what? Screw bosses and screw money. Let’s just drink wine.”
“Now you sound like a friend,” Linda said. “No, a best friend.”
“Best friend? That’s an upgrade.”
Linda bit her lip. “That’s maybe because I have a favor to ask.”
“Ah, a favor,” I said. “That’s why you’re offering wine. You want me drunk. Now you’re acting like Ben.”
“He gets you drunk and takes advantage of you?” she asked with a wink. “Wild play in the bedroom, huh?”
My cheeks blushed a little. “Yeah, right.”
Truth is… lately with Ben has been…
“Come on, let me get you tipsy,” she said.
She ushered me into the house and went right to the kitchen for two glasses and a bottle of wine.
I was sort of honored for Linda to think of me for a favor. We joked about being neighbors, but having her as a friend meant a lot more. I hated not fully telling her about myself when she had always been sort of an open book to me.
But at least I could make that up by helping her.
Whatever it was.
Even if it sent my life spiraling out of control.
“Fucking soccer.”
I burst into laughter as Linda rolled her eyes.
“What’s wrong with soccer?” I asked.
“Everything. The practices. The games. Traveling. Uniforms. This size ball, that size ball. Pictures. Fundraisers… it’s enough to make you want to scream. And I see people there who have more than one kid. They balance schedules like the President does. It’s madness.”
“But Paige likes it,” I said.
“She loves it. And she’s damn good at it. I don’t have an athletic bone in my body. She gets that from her father. There was a time when Dave wasn’t twenty-pounds overweight, balding, and a complete asshole. He was very athletic in high school and college.”
“Sorry he didn’t turn out the way you wanted.”
“Like you said, at least I got Paige out of the deal. Anyway, back to soccer. It ties into my favor. So drink up.”
I sipped the bitter red wine with a smile. “I don’t need to be drunk to help you. At least I hope not.”
“Well, for this favor, you can’t be drunk.”
“Right.”
“Paige’s coach talked to me a couple of weeks ago about her trying out for a travel team. I guess it’s for the kids who show the most promise. Or enjoy the game. He mentioned something to Paige first, which means she won’t let it go.”
“That’s good.”
“Well, it’s not. I have to work late all next week. Every night. No choice.”
“You need help with Paige,” I said. “I can do that. I can get her from school. Bring her to my house. If she gets bored, bring her over here.”
“That’s really nice of you, Kinsley,” Linda said. “I need something beyond that.”
“Name it.”
“I need you to take her to the tryout.”
“For soccer.”
“Yeah.” Linda frowned.
“Sure,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “I can do that.”
“Before you jump here,” she said. “It’s not exactly local. It’s over in Falcon Ridge.”
“Okay,” I said. “That’s, what, thirty minutes away?”
“I’ll pay you for gas and anything else…”
“Linda, stop it,” I said. “I would never expect that.”
“It’s a fair drive. And it’s a few hours.”
“So what?”
“I feel bad for even bringing it up.”
“Don’t,” I said. “Honestly. Don’t.”
Linda exhaled. “I asked Dave to do it. He refused.”
“Refused?”
“He said it was a waste of time and money. That he remembers watching Paige play and that she has no talent.”
“What?” I asked, my jaw almost hitting the counter. “He said that about his own daughter?”
Linda nodded. “That’s his way of getting back at me. Apparently, because he pays child support, that means I shouldn’t need extra money. So by me working, it implies that I’m bad with money and he shouldn’t be the one to clean up the slack.”
“Wow,” I said. “He’s something else.”
“He’s a moron. Among other things.”
“Linda, I’ve got your back on this. Give me the day and time and I’ll make it work. I can pick Paige up, feed her, take her to the tryout, and then drop her off back home. No big deal.”
“No big deal,” she said. “You’re so calm and collected. I’m jealous of that. You have everything neatly together.”
“Believe me, I don’t,” I said.
“Oh, you know you do. Your house, job, life, it’s all put together.”
“It appear
s that way,” I said. “I guess I can thank Ben for that though.”
Linda rolled her eyes and turned away.
She hated Ben.
Which caused some tension between all of us.
I looked down, hating that she hated the man I loved.
“Sorry,” she said. “You know my stance on that.”
“I know,” I said. I took a big gulp of wine, not wanting to go near any memories at all.
“Back on topic,” she said. “I’m going to email the guy who runs the tryouts and have him add your name to the list. Is that okay?”
“Sure.”
“So that way you’ll get the information as far as where, when, that whole thing. I should know this stuff, but I don’t.” She rolled her eyes again.
“What’s another email to the ten thousand I get per day, right?”
She laughed. “It’s insane, isn’t it?”
“What’s the guy’s name who runs it?”
“Steve,” she said. “I’ll forward you the first email he sent. Then I’ll make sure you’re added to the list.”
Linda finished her wine and her fingertips started to tap quickly on the counter.
“You want a cigarette, don’t you?” I asked.
“Desperately.”
“Then go have one. I’ll join you.”
“Having a smoke?”
“No,” I said. “I’ll stand with you.”
Back outside, Linda was fast to light up, taking a deep drag, closing her eyes as she did so.
“This is going to catch up to me,” she said. “Paige gets mad. They started talking to her about this stuff in school. She keeps telling me that my lungs are going to turn black and I’m going to die.”
“That’s blunt,” I said.
“You’ve met my daughter,” Linda said.
“True.”
“This case is pretty big. At work, I mean. I heard rumblings that if this goes well, there could be bonuses. Raises. Maybe I can talk to my boss about going back to law school. Online classes to start. Night classes.”
“Well, I’m glad I can help out,” I said. “Honestly. If you ever need help with Paige…”
My heart quickly twisted like a wet rag. I knew the date, time, place, and I knew how the calendar worked as it flipped months into years. The ghost of my memory was good at keeping quiet…
“Thank you, Kinsley,” Linda said. “I’d better get moving here to get Paige. She wanted to stay at the Y for a sports thing they were having. I’m so happy she enjoys that stuff. Keeps her busy and active.”
“Just send me the info about the soccer tryout and I’ll make it work.”
“You’re amazing,” she said. “You deserve the best life in the world, Kinsley.”
I forced a smile, knowing that Linda meant that with sort of a backhand because of her feelings toward Ben.
I walked down the stone path back to the gate and wrestled to get it open and then shut.
A second later, I watched a black car speed around the turn into the cul-de-sac and come flying up the road. The tires yelled as Ben pulled into the driveway. He was far from getting out of the car though. He was on his phone and would sit there for a little while, finishing up his work. He always did his best not to bring work into the house, even though he had an office at home.
I gave a quick wave and Ben winked at me.
He smiled.
I smiled back.
I knew why Linda didn’t like Ben, but that was just because of one situation a long time ago.
Happiness wasn’t something that just appeared and never let go. It was like a wave, building, crashing, pulling back to build again. And you could either stand and enjoy the water, or fear the wave hitting too hard or never coming back.
I was happy.
I loved Ben.
He loved me.
And we got to hide in our own little world together.
And I had no plans to ever change that.
“How was work?” I asked as I rinsed out my coffee mug.
Ben got close enough to kiss me but pulled back so fast, you would have sworn he just tried kissing the wrong person.
“You smell like smoke.”
“Oh,” I said. “Linda…”
“Ah, say no more then,” he said with a pissed off tone.
“I don’t smoke, Ben,” I said.
“I know that,” he said. “But you know my feelings on smoking.”
“I’m sorry the smell got on me,” I said. “I’ll go change. I need to get out of these work clothes anyway.”
“It’s in your hair, my dear,” Ben said.
He cringed when he looked at me.
I forced a smile. “Then I guess I’ll shower. Care to join me?”
I batted my eyes at him.
He let out a groan. “I have a conference call in ten.”
I inched toward him but paused.
You smell like smoke.
“Ten minutes? That’s plenty of time…”
“Give me more credit than that,” he said. “I can go longer than ten minutes.”
“I know,” I said, laughing. “But ten minutes is plenty for a shower quickie.”
“As tempting as that is, I can’t. I have to go through my notes. I’m this close to having this investor write a check.” Ben lifted his hand and kept a small distance between his thumb and pointer finger. “As soon as that happens, my dear, we’re out.”
“We’re out?” I asked.
“Vacation. You and me. Anywhere in the world.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. You pick.”
“Ben…”
“I’ve been working like crazy. For us. For you. We deserve it. Right?”
“Yes,” I said.
I moved toward him and he jumped back, showing his hands. “I can’t let my clothes smell like smoke. These can’t just be thrown into a washer like your clothes.”
“Right. Of course. Sorry. Thank you. I mean, I can’t wait…”
Ben put his hand out and wiggled his fingers so I’d give him my hand. We stood there a mile apart, our pointer fingers interlocked.
It was… weird.
“Go take that shower,” Ben said. “I’m going to jump on this conference call.”
“Dinner?” I asked.
“You pick. Get something delivered. I’ll leave cash on the table.”
He winked, let my hand go, and stuffed his hand into his pocket to get his phone. He was then head down, turning, already focused on his conference call.
“Love you,” I called out.
He gave a quick wave and disappeared from the kitchen.
I left the kitchen to go get that shower. I didn’t think I smelled like smoke, but I knew Ben had a terribly sensitive nose to that stuff. He was adamant about it because his father died of lung cancer due to smoking. So I completely understood and respected his hatred for cigarettes.
It was good that he didn’t know a thing about my past.
All those wasted nights, lying under the stars, smoking cigarettes because that’s what all the cool kids did. Not that I cared what the cool kids did… just the coolest one of all.
In the shower, I licked my lips and bit my bottom lip.
I had the sudden urge for a cigarette.
Which was dumb.
This was my life now. My new life. My happy life. Hidden away, enjoying my small town, living my dream as a veterinarian.
Everything was perfect.
And whatever wasn’t… the shower water could wash away.
4
Always Cold
Brice
The place was a dump. There was a fleeting moment when I thought that there was no way in hell that someone would be allowed to live there. But the sale went through and I was given the keys to a one bedroom cabin-like house in the woods that needed too much work for the price I paid. The work was a good thing for me. It not only passed the time, but it kept me distracted. That was important. Staying distracted was the
only way I’d survive the realities that lingered close enough that I could see, but luckily far enough away that they couldn’t touch me yet.
I had the world in my hand, meaning I could do anything I wanted, when I wanted, without a care. Arriving in town, after buying the cabin, the first thing I did was get a job. The thought of a real job with real responsibilities irked me, so I hit a few local bars until one allowed me to jump behind the bar and start serving drinks. That was the extent of my socializing. In some ways, the less people knew about me, the better. I had wedged this wall in my mind which cut off all thoughts and memories at a certain point.
Hell, even the stuff that was happening now in my life wasn’t exactly worth bragging about either. So I was best kept walking the length of a bar, pouring fresh beers, making goofy mixed drinks, keeping the small talk going with the regulars, and enjoying the attention from the women who insisted that I was a far better catch to look at over the other bartender. To be fair, Lucky was pushing seventy and had lived a long and wild life. Which showed on him, even though he had a big, perfectly white smile and bright blue eyes for his age.
When the last call came and went at two in the morning, the last handful of people worked their way out of the bar. There was one woman who stuck around for an extra few minutes. I approached her to settle up her tab and was asked about my plans for the night. The implications were very clear and very tempting. My common sense - which had found some kind of enjoyment in messing with me - kicked in and I had to gently let the woman know that there was a thing.
That’s what it had all been reduced to by now.
A thing.
Because explaining everything was just too time consuming and not worth the effort for a complete stranger who had red, pouty lips and wild thoughts burning in her eyes.
She walked away lonely and I stood behind the bar lonely, clenching my teeth, focusing on cleaning up the bar and closing up the place. Lucky me, I was given keys to the bar, which meant I handled everything when it was my shift to close up.
Arriving home around three, I planned on having a cold beer and a warm fire and crashing on the couch. I couldn’t remember the last time I actually slept in my bed.
I took a quick shower to wash away the smell of the bar. The mix of booze and grease that clung to my clothes and skin.
Somebody Else (Somebody, Nobody Duet Book 1) Page 2