I snagged a beer from the fridge just as the screen on my phone lit up.
I looked, and I shut my eyes.
Two words on the screen.
Need you.
I could have easily flipped the phone over and taken my beer to the couch.
But I had a promise to keep.
I had to make up for the one promise that got messed up.
I moved my right leg off the bed, then my left. I looked like a table or some kind of fucked up yoga position as I did everything I could to get out of the damn bed without waking up the kid.
Milo was famous for having nightmares. Not that I could fault him for it. He’d been through enough in his young life that most grown adults would know nothing about. But here, he was safe. He had a home. A real home. And he had family. Even if it messed up everything I wanted to do in my life, it was worth seeing him in his own bedroom, with his own bed, covers, toys… and even the occasional night when he needed me to drive over and read him a bedtime story.
It took me ten minutes to creep out of the bedroom because the floors were noisy. But I managed to do it. I shut the door, it clicked, and I let out a long sigh of relief.
A hand touched my back and I almost let out a damn scream, which would have set the entire night back even more. By then though, it was closer to sunrise than being nighttime.
“Is he asleep?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“Come down to the kitchen for a second.”
I gave a nod as I caught my breath.
April shuffled away toward the stairs and I stared at the closed door. There was a tiny street sign with Milo’s name on it. That was certainly custom ordered because finding signs, keychains, or cups with the name Milo on it at a souvenir shop was next to impossible. I never understood the name, and if I asked, it would only raise hell.
Downstairs, April had two cups of tea poured.
She was seated.
I chose to stand behind the chair.
We didn’t exactly get along, but our history had to stay buried for Milo’s sake.
“How bad was it?” I asked.
“Bad,” April said. “He was screaming and thrashing. He said someone with a needle was chasing him.”
“Shit.” I swallowed hard. “You don’t think… I mean, if there was a chance that…”
She put her hands out. “I can’t think like that right now. Okay?”
“Right. It doesn’t matter, I guess. As long as he’s sleeping now.”
“Wish I was sleeping.”
“You should be,” I said. “You don’t need to stay up when I’m here. I’m not going to steal anything from you.”
“I can’t sleep unless he is.”
“He is sleeping, April. Go to bed. I can sleep on the couch if you don’t mind. In case he wakes up again.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. He would be confused if you’re here in the morning. Bad enough with everything else…”
“Good point,” I said. I rubbed my jaw. “I just wish we had a better answer for him.”
“It just shows you care,” April said. She sipped her tea.
I didn’t need anyone to talk to me about caring. That was damn sure. Rushing over to read Milo a bedtime story. Moving my life to make sure he was comfortable and safe. And not alone. Believe me, I fucking cared. And believe me, it wasn’t my job to care.
“What do we do now?” I asked.
“Should we talk about schedules for a minute?”
“I’m all ears.”
“He’s got his soccer practice tomorrow night. Can you take him?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I can help out with that.”
“You have the coach’s email?”
I nodded. “I get all the emails, April.”
“Good. I have to work a little late tomorrow so I’m not sure I’ll make it.”
“Why don’t you just come straight home? Get some time to yourself?”
“Because it’s his soccer practice,” she said and quickly stood up. “I don’t want to miss anything. I don’t want him to get confused.”
“He’s not going to get confused. It’s a practice anyway.”
“Don’t tell me what’s what, Brice.”
April smacked the table and started to walk away.
I moved fast to block the way, not wanting to touch her unless I really had to.
“Whoa,” I said. “You’re entitled to a break, April. That’s why I’m here. You know that, right?”
She let out a sigh. “Just make sure he has everything for soccer. Better yet, I’ll pack everything up in a bag and leave it outside the door. You can swing by here and grab that before you pick him up.”
“I know what I’m doing,” I said.
“I’m not saying you don’t. I just can’t take any chances right now.”
“I know you have your guard up. I know you don’t like me. I know you blame me for what happened to your sister. I know you blame me for what’s going on with Milo. But I’m here.”
“That’s why I’m talking to you right now,” April said. “Other than that, I have no reason to talk to you.”
That was that.
We said a quick goodbye to each other and I showed myself to the door.
I exited the house and exhaled a deep breath. It was damn cold outside. And it smelled like snow. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities that it could snow this early in the season.
But what the hell did the weather matter?
April could see right through me. In a way, she had every right to do that. Milo wasn’t my son, yet I had rearranged my life for him. Because of a promise I made to his mother.
More than that… I was trying to make up for what I lost years ago.
Milo had curly, moppy hair that bounced when he ran. He didn’t look much like his mother, or me, but that was for good reason. Which only meant that it stood true that he looked like his father. The father he’d never met. The father he’d probably never meet because knowing his mother’s track record…
“Nice kick, Milo Man!” a voice boomed as Milo fell to the ground in a heap of hair and scuffed knees and elbows.
His neon green soccer ball rested in the back of the net.
Coach Brian was a round guy, but could move faster than you’d think. His voice was loud, obnoxious, and commanding to the young kids, which was good.
Milo got to his feet, his small legs moving faster than the rest of his body. He looked over at me and gave a thumbs up.
I gave one back, smiling.
He was a good kid. Smart. Brave as hell. There wasn’t a doubt in my heart that he wouldn’t be able to face anything in life that waited for him. No matter how fucked up.
Even still, there were moments when I looked around and couldn’t believe what the hell I was doing. A new place to live. A new town. Dealing with April’s attitude, all for the sake of a kid that wasn’t mine. Not that I could blame April completely. She had plenty of reasons to hate me, but there was one thing she couldn’t deny and one thing she refused to face.
I always tried.
No matter the hell her sister threw herself into, I was there to try and help.
And I always kept Milo safe.
When the flames of her sister’s hell raged with fury, I’d turn my back and keep Milo in front of me so he didn’t get burned. And anyone who didn’t believe me could look at the scars on my back to see it.
I stood there in jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt, sleeves rolled up a little, tattoos showing. I didn’t exactly fit in there. The rest of the parents were either in folding camping chairs or on blankets. Most of them had their eyes down to the screen of their phone. Which worked for me. I just wanted to watch Milo be Milo. Forget about everything in the world.
The soccer fields were extra busy too. It seemed like every single one was being used. From kids younger than Milo to older kids, maybe middle school aged. It was a beautiful fall evening. The first hint of sunset on the way. Leaves
changing and starting to let go. Funny to think that it would only be weeks until the fields would be empty and covered in a soft blanket of snow.
My eyes went to Milo again as he charged down the field to Coach Brian. I scanned the entire field. Through a sea of parents and kids, my eyes locked onto something. Someone. It was like time decided to pause for a fraction of a second. All I saw was dirty blonde hair dancing to the right in a quick breeze. Pulling across a woman’s face, hiding her, yet I couldn’t look away. The woman reached up and moved the hair out of her face.
All sound suddenly seemed to be stripped away.
She was a good distance away. Too far to yell. Even farther to start running toward her. Even if I did, I’d have to navigate through four soccer fields, a hundred kids, dozens of parents. And then what?
My mouth slowly opened in complete awe.
It was really her.
Her.
It was Kinsley.
Standing at the complete opposite end of the soccer field. With beautiful long hair. Last time I saw her, her hair was down to her chin. She always flirted with the notion of letting her hair grow out, but then at the last minute always got it cut. She was famous for getting it cut what she felt was too short, and then hating herself for it until it grew back.
But this version of Kinsley stood there with long hair. Well past her shoulders. She had to keep fighting with it as the cool autumn breeze did something in that moment that I was unable to do. Which was touch her.
Years…
I swallowed hard. The murmur of the kids’ happy yelling faded back in. Parents walking around would one second break my view of her, and then bring her back into focus. I felt like the loneliest man in the world in a mix of a lot of people. Staring like a creep across the field at the woman I once loved. At the woman who changed everything about me. At the woman I lost.
It felt like a lifetime since I’d last seen her, yet staring at her then was as though nothing had changed. Like those moments where I’d be walking toward her at a distance and pause just to look at her. To take a moment and breathe with the realization that she was all mine. That the curves of her body and parts hidden by clothes were for me to explore, with her given permission and beautiful want and need. The explosion of wildness that overtook both of us, living as though the world was burning and we were forever on the run staying a few steps ahead, but never getting too far ahead because we always had the need to stop and kiss each other.
I licked my lips as I stood there, dreaming of the way she used to taste. Our first kiss, her thin lips had been caked with cherry chapstick. She never wore lipstick either. Just that cherry chapstick. I’d cut off my own foot with a rusted saw right then to taste that cherry chapstick one more time.
A familiar ache hit my heart, which I knew would be coming, but it was totally worth it.
The people kept moving and stealing my vision of her again and again, but those seconds here and there made me feel things I hadn’t felt in a long time. I always wondered if we’d ever have the chance to meet up again and talk. Just simply talk. Come to terms with everything that happened.
She looked around the field, a soft smile on her perfect face. I knew that smile and I knew what it meant to her. What she was trying to tell everyone around her.
For a fraction of a second, she looked right at me as her eyes kept moving.
She didn’t stop though, which meant she hadn’t seen me.
I touched my face, my fingers scratching at the scruff on my jaw. I had been clean-cut at one point in our lives together, but she had seen me with scruffy facial hair before. When I gave up on everything. My life. Us. Her. Which I would forever live with a wretched regret.
An urge suddenly overtook me and I stepped forward.
That was followed by another step. And another.
I was going to get to her. I was going to finish the dream I started all those years ago, when it was so easy to dream. I was going to end this fucking nightmare that I forced myself to call a life.
That’s when a hand touched my arm, followed by a stern warning. “You’d better be careful.”
I turned and saw a woman standing next to me with a freckle-faced smile.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“You’re about to walk onto the field,” she said. “It can get dangerous out there.” A second later she laughed. “Kids, right?”
I looked down and saw the tip of my right shoe on the white line.
A second later, a soccer ball hit my foot and bounced back inbounds. Then came a swarm of kids all wanting their turn with the ball. Coach Brian yelled for everyone to spread out, but nobody listened.
“Thanks,” I said to the concerned parent who I had no idea who she was.
“I’m Laura,” she said. “Kristen’s mom.”
“Oh, right,” I said. “I’m Brice…”
“Milo is yours, right?”
“Uh, yeah. He’s mine.”
“Can I just tell you how much I love his hair?” Laura said. She touched her cheek. “We all were talking about it. It’s such neat hair.”
“Yeah, right. He gets that from his mother.”
The lies were smooth pouring from my lips. Anything to avoid the truth and a conversation that would end with this woman running away with fresh gossip, and Milo being the subject of ridicule for the choices his mother made.
“I was going to say, that’s obvious,” Laura said. “Your hair is different.”
Great. Small town chatter. About fucking hair?
My eyes darted to the right, staring down the entire soccer field.
Kinsley was still standing there. Wearing a long black coat, her hands tucked into the pockets. She was forever cold. She could stand on the beach on an island at the equator with the brightest and hottest sun possible, and she’d still find a way to shiver and be cold.
“I’m sorry to bother you.”
My eyes moved to Laura again. “No worries. We’re all here watching the kids play.”
“I’m going around talking to all the parents…”
I did the best I could to sneakily look for Kinsley while pretending to keep my attention on Laura.
That’s when I realized she was on the move.
I turned my head and watched Kinsley walking along the field toward the parking lot.
Shit. No. Don’t leave…
“I know it probably sounds strange to ask,” Laura said.
“Wait, what?” I sort of snapped at her.
She stepped back. “Um, money. But Brian’s been such a great coach to the kids. And even with his wife feeling ill… he never missed a practice or a game.”
“His wife?”
“Oh, you didn’t know? She had a cancer scare. Luckily everything came back fine.” She clutched at my arm. “Can you imagine though? A father of three with that looming over you?”
“That’s terrible,” I said.
My eyes moved right. Kinsley was still walking.
“It’s his birthday next Monday and we wanted to get him something.”
“Oh,” I said. “Right. Yeah. Sure.” I reached into my pocket and took out a twenty dollar bill. “Here.”
Laura’s eyes lit up. “This is much more…”
I painted a smile on my face and locked eyes with her. “It’s my pleasure. I hope he has a great birthday and I hope his wife feels better soon. I’m sorry to cut you short, but I have to go take care of something.”
I broke away from Laura and started to run.
Led by my heart and memories that managed to break through that secret wall I put up, I could only focus on getting to Kinsley. And yet I had no fucking clue what to say. Maybe I’d just spout off the word Hey to her and see her reaction.
As I passed by the soccer net Milo had scored a goal in, I saw that Kinsley paused. She was at the top of a small hill. She crouched down and reached for a black bag. Her hair fell into her face and hung down. I stopped dead in my tracks and made fists. I watched her take out a bottle
of water and stand back up. She turned and looked down, staring at a young girl.
The sight took me aback.
That was supposed to be… ours…
Kinsley handed the young girl the water. She struggled to open the top and handed it back to Kinsley. Kinsley opened it and gave it back, touching the young girl’s hair.
It hadn’t hit me just yet… but of course, the only reason Kinsley was here was because… she had a kid. She had a daughter. A beautiful daughter.
My mind started to guess the young girl’s age. Which meant going back an assumed amount of years. Which meant…
I shook my head.
I couldn’t think like that. Not right now. Because if what I was thinking was right, then that meant that right after we were through, she…
“Way to go, Milo!” Coach Brian yelled.
I turned and saw Milo on the ground yet again, his right foot in the air, his neon green soccer ball in the back of the net again. I stuck my fingers into my mouth and whistled for him.
He got up and started to cheer.
When I turned my head, I watched as Kinsley and the young girl (her fucking daughter… just say it, Brice) walked to the black bag and started to pack up.
Practice was over.
There was no way I was going to talk to her with her daughter there. But if I didn’t do something then, I was screwed. I may have to wait years and years…
“Did you see it?”
I looked down and Milo was at my feet, tugging at my shirt.
“What’s up, buddy?”
“Did you see that goal?”
“I saw it,” I said. “You look like a pro out there. Swinging your leg like a ninja.”
“It’s called a bicycle kick, Brice,” Milo said.
“Oh, right, right. A bicycle kick.”
Milo rolled his eyes. “Practice is over. Can we go?”
“Yeah, let’s get out of here.”
I looked one last time and Kinsley was gone.
In my truck, I buried my face into my hands for a second to catch my breath. I promised myself I wouldn’t go looking for Kinsley’s car.
But I did.
She was already gone though.
“Why are you driving so slow?” Milo asked me.
Somebody Else (Somebody, Nobody Duet Book 1) Page 3