Somebody Else (Somebody, Nobody Duet Book 1)

by Jaxson Kidman

  And if that happened and you looked away from me at someone else, then I’d understand. It would hurt but I would understand. Your heart is the most important thing in the world to me. And I hope it’s the same for him. I don’t know anything about him. Maybe I should care about that, but I don’t. I know the real you. I know the true Kinsley. I don’t think anyone else in the world knows her but me.

  As far as pictures go, I have them all. You want to see them? Stop over. I’m not that far away, Kins. I’m never far away. Ever.

  Brice

  I could have added a lot more to that email. But there were certain things I wanted to save for when we were face to face. If that time ever came again, the way I had been wanting it to for so long.

  I drank more water in the next hour than I did for an entire year. I had this vision of Kinsley emailing me back telling me she was going to stop over tonight. We were going to look at pictures. Laugh. Talk. Dip our toes into the past but keep our eyes set on the future. Because the present didn’t matter… only because we could change it. Together.

  For that entire hour, I waited for an email to pop up on my phone.

  There was no response from Kinsley.

  Which meant that she went back to her life.

  And I had to go back to mine.

  Saying goodbye to everyone took another thirty minutes. Drunk hugs. Sloppy kisses to my cheek. Suzie insisting I take a plate of food home with me.

  Driving away from that bar left me with a horrible sinking feeling.

  I went home and heated up the plate of food from Suzie. It was probably the best damn turkey dinner I’d ever had in my life. I sat on the couch alone, in silence, the only light the glow from the fireplace. I gave up checking my phone by then.

  Kinsley was probably home. With Ben. It was something I couldn’t stand the thought of.

  I chased the thought away with a drink.

  But the sight of Kinsley’s eyes and the taste of her lips on mine lingered all night long.

  15

  That Time at the River

  Kinsley

  Deb spent the entire day decorating the office. It was a little over the top, but I couldn’t tell her not to do it. I kept myself busy with a full schedule of visits, checkups, and a couple of emergency calls. The hours ticked right by until it was time to go home.

  I looked at my phone way too much without touching it. I never responded to Brice’s last email from Thanksgiving night. My brother Kyle came out onto the deck to have a cigarette. He teased me about not smoking anymore, calling me the quitter of the family. Even though he lived in the basement still and had two random jobs that were barely enough to keep him afloat. He then picked on Ben for a good twenty minutes, calling him a cardboard cutout dork. Apparently, Ben had been talking my father’s ear off about real estate and interest rates and where the market was going to be headed in the next three to five years.

  My father was a retired electrical engineer who decided to take up investing in the last year. But there was only so much a person could take, and that moment came when my father came outside and chased Kyle back in. Kyle made a comment about having to go entertain the nerd, rolling his eyes as he did so.

  It was just a lot of stupid comments, but they all wore heavily on me.

  My brother worshipped Brice when we were together. Kyle thought Brice was the coolest guy ever. I never saw Kyle get flustered in my life except when he was around Brice. It was like some man switch would go off and Kyle would do anything to impress him.

  My father left me lingering with a hug, a kiss to the head, and he wished me happiness. He always got mushy during the holidays, but it had a strange feel to it.

  I didn’t answer Brice because of that and because of what Brice wanted me to do. To go look at pictures at his place? That was the kind of invite any good person would completely avoid altogether.

  Which I had done with a heavy yet strong heart.

  I left a single strand of lights turned on inside the office and the lights on the bushes too.

  It was dark when I got home, which was another wonderful reminder that winter was just a breath away and the days were going to be super short. Funny how it seemed like it was just yesterday I was outside until after eight in the evening with the sun still up. And during that time, there was no Brice to think or worry about. No emails. No pictures. No racing thoughts. No burning memories. No flashing images of his lips pressing to mine for that kiss.

  Ben was already home, standing at the kitchen table with papers on it, his fingers pressing away at his screen.

  The deal that he lost had been a big one. There was some personal money involved in it that he had to take a loss for. Which didn’t bother me at all. That was part of business and life. Sometimes you did okay and sometimes you lost money. To me, the point of us being together was to help offset the bad with good. Except with Ben, any loss sent him spiraling into this black hole where he’d live until he recouped the loss and then some.

  “Hey there,” I said as I dropped my bag to the floor.

  “Are you leaving that there?” Ben asked without looking away from his phone.

  “I just put it down, Ben. Relax.”

  He turned his head. “Someone can trip over it.”

  “There are two people that live here.”

  “You should use the gift card I got you for some stand or something.”

  “Or maybe Santa will bring me one for Christmas,” I said.

  I inched toward him, not sure what version of Ben I was going to get.

  “Hey, are you okay?” I asked.

  I touched his arm and he quickly dropped his phone.

  “Fine,” he said.

  A second later he had gone to the sink. I watched him get a glass out of the cabinet and slam it against the fridge to get water.

  “Anything good happen today?” I asked.

  “Nothing worth talking about,” he said.

  “Deb decorated the office. Looks like Christmas threw up. I told her if she puts them up, she has to take them all down.”

  He nodded and chugged the glass of water. “Well, that’s the simple office life, huh?”

  “What?”

  “Nothing. Sorry.”

  I let out a sigh. “Hey, I have an idea.”

  “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

  Ben put the water glass down and leaned against the kitchen sink. He always looked the best when he had his sleeves unbuttoned and rolled up once. With the top button of his shirt undone too. Like the devilish businessman with smoldering eyes who could take me to bed and buy me something expensive.

  That’s not who you are at all, Kinsley.

  I smiled and chased the thought away. “Let’s decorate. Tonight. Right now.”

  “Right now?” he asked.

  “Yeah. Come on. We always used to get our tree the day after Thanksgiving. The last two years you had to work.”

  “I had no choice, Kinsley,” Ben said.

  “I’m not saying you did anything wrong. Work is work. I worked too. But right now. Screw it. Let’s go.”

  “Go where?”

  “To get a tree,” I said. “We can put it up and decorate it and listen to music. I can make some hot cocoa… oh, better yet, we can have an adult beverage or two. Forget everything outside of this house.”

  Ben smiled. “You’re all excited about this, huh?”

  “Totally,” I said. “Come on.”

  He pushed from the counter and closed in on me. My body stiffened. All I could picture was me moving to my toes and Brice taking control of that kiss. My face felt hot with guilt as I wrestled to stop picturing it.

  I was with Ben. I loved Ben.

  His hands gently touched my face. “I love when you get excited like this.”

  “Me too. And it’s the time of the year to get excited. Look, it hasn’t exactly been easy around here lately. I know that deal fell through and you’ve been distant. Maybe I should have done more for you, I don’t know. But l
et’s forget about everything. Just for tonight. Turn our phones off. Well, not off, we need the music…”

  Ben lowered his lips to mine.

  That shut me up.

  We could definitely forget about decorating a tree if this is on the table.

  The kiss lasted a quick second.

  “Thank you for trying to make me feel better,” he whispered. “It wasn’t just some deal though, Kinsley. It was a really big one. And when something like this happens, you don’t just run away and cut down a tree for fun.”

  “I didn’t say to run away, Ben.”

  “I know. But I have plenty to do here. I get that it’s important it’s Christmas time. Believe me. But reality is more important, Kinsley. I need to figure out a new plan for a second here.”

  “Just one night,” I whispered. “One night. I feel like we’re too distant.”

  “I’m three inches from you,” Ben said as he laughed.

  “That’s not what I mean, Ben. I’m being serious.”

  “Serious about what? Us?”

  “Yes. I know everyone is busy, but we need time for each other. You said I could pick a vacation…”

  “That was before this mess happened,” he said.

  “Are we in trouble here? I mean, financially?”

  “What? No.”

  “So, what’s the problem? How much money do you need?”

  “All of it,” Ben said with a wink. “I want it all.”

  “That’s not a good look on you,” I said.

  He backed away. “Not a good look? I’m sorry.”

  “That’s greedy…”

  “It’s not greed. If I don’t do it, someone else will. I’m not stealing from anyone.”

  “I never said you were. All I wanted to do was get a fucking Christmas tree, Ben.”

  The words were hot lava as they shot out of my mouth.

  Ben’s eyes went wide. “Yeah, you’re really in the spirit, huh?”

  “Yeah, and look at you. All I’m asking for is one night.”

  “No, Kinsley. You’re assuming the night. Without even talking to me about it first.”

  “That’s right. You can’t do anything spontaneous. It has to be in your planner.”

  “If you take a second and look behind you, you’ll see why I can’t do anything tonight.”

  I turned and saw the papers spread out. “What is this?”

  “I have to go to Philly. Right now.”

  “Right now…”

  Ben stepped up behind me and touched my shoulder. “I can’t avoid this stuff. We have plenty of Christmases coming our way.”

  I shook my head. “I just wanted tonight.”

  “I know,” Ben said.

  I walked away from the table. “You know, someday it would be nice to see you forget about work for me for a change.”

  “Where is this coming from?”

  “It doesn’t matter. I know where I rank in your schedule, Ben. Sorry for messing that up.”

  “This is for us,” he said.

  “No, it’s not. It’s for you. I’m just here to watch it happen.”

  “You’re the one putting distance between us here now, Kinsley,” he said. “By the way you’re acting.”

  “Drive safe, Ben.”

  “Fuck this,” he said. He scooped up the papers. “Next time, just stay at your office. Play with more Christmas lights or something. Have a good night. I don’t know if I’ll be home until the morning. Maybe I should just stay down there. Give us some space.”

  “Yeah, just what we need, more time apart.”

  “I'm not doing this with you, Kinsley. I’m sorry. I’m going to be the better person here and just walk away.”

  I let Ben leave without another word. Simply standing there, nodding to myself, again looking around the house I lived in that didn’t feel like mine. Everything picked out and planned perfectly. Which was the way I wanted it when we moved in. I wanted nothing to do with big decisions. I was happy with what I was doing in my life.

  Right up until that fucking email from Brice showed up.

  I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.

  Ben drove quickly out of the driveway, his tires squealing as he sped away.

  Now I had the oversized house to myself.

  And I had no true intention of staying there.

  I felt the devil and angel on each shoulder as the tires of my SUV crunched over the rocks on the back road that was supposed to lead to Brice’s place. That was all I had. The name of a desolate road. And the hope that I would find Brice.

  The angel was sweet, kind, with a hint of cinnamon in her scent, reminding me ever so softly that couples have fights. That Ben and I weren’t meant to agree on everything. That would be boring. He was stressed with his job and maybe he was right. Distance was a good thing. He could do whatever he had to do for himself while I…

  That’s when the devil on the other side of me started cackling. She was an evil bitch, sitting there with a cigarette in one hand, a bottle of whiskey in the other. She was smiling, fun, exciting, and all she needed to do was simply nod. There were no words needed from her.

  Because it was obvious what I was doing right now.

  The pit of guilt was growing by the second and I was doing nothing to stop it.

  A white light shined ahead, and I followed it to a cabin that made me gasp.

  It was beautiful. It looked as cozy as anything with a bay window on the left side of the front door and two small windows on the right side. The roof had a cute single window dormer sticking out of it. It screamed nothing but quiet and comfort.

  It was exactly where I needed to be.

  The front door opened and out stepped Brice.

  He took up the entire doorway with his height and width. A looming figure, but I could see the scruff on his face and a look in his eyes that made me lick my lips. The angel on my shoulder begged me to sit for a few more seconds and really think things out. The devil simply laughed because she knew what I was already going to do.

  I got out of the SUV and hugged myself. The air felt colder in the woods, if that were possible. There was this intense crispness to the air, almost as though it were about to snow.

  “I can’t believe you’re really here, Kins,” Brice said as he met me at the top step to the porch.

  “You offered,” I said.

  “Yeah, I did. Come on in. It’s fucking cold out here.”

  “Smells like snow.”

  “Did you bring your sleeping bag in case you get snowed in?” he asked with a grin.

  “I’ve got a four-wheel-drive, Brice. Nothing can keep me here.”

  He held the door for me and raised an eyebrow. “That sounds like a challenge.”

  My face burned hot as I realized what I’d said and what it could have meant.

  Brice shut the door and rubbed his hands together. “Go warm up by the fire.”

  My eyes looked around the cabin and it was as cozy as it looked from the outside. There was a long couch in front of the fireplace with an ugly mismatched blanket thrown across the back. The floor had a circular rug on it that looked as old as the trees outside. The floors were creaky and a natural wood color. The fireplace of course caught my attention. Made of brick with a stone mantel, I stood there and let the fire wrap its arms around me to warm me up.

  Although I could think of someone who could wrap their arms around me to warm me up.

  I shut my eyes and demanded control of my thoughts. I didn’t want to think about the fight with Ben. Or the fact that he was pulling away from me. Or the fact that I was stepping away from him because of…

  “Drink?”

  I jumped and gasped.

  Brice stood next to me, the light of the fire dancing off his face, his eyes gleaming at me with a look of surprise.

  He had two bottles of beer.

  “Sure,” I said.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah. I had my eyes shut. I was just warming up.”
<
br />   “It’s comfy,” Brice said. “I didn’t even want to see this place. My realtor begged me to check it out. I’m glad he did.”

  “It’s not really a home though. It’s like a place to go to after a long week.”

  “True.”

  “Which means you don’t plan on living here for long?”

  “You should have been a lawyer,” Brice said. “All these questions.”

  “I’m just trying to figure out your situation. To be fair, you keep talking about it. But you never say what it is.”

  “In time, love,” he said. “First, a toast to you and me.”

  “Brice…”

  “Not like that,” he said. He put his hands up, balancing the neck of the beer bottle between the pointer and middle fingers of his right hand.

  He looked fucking sexy.

  He was heart-stoppingly good-looking. Standing in a black t-shirt that looked custom made to hug the places of his body I was once able to touch as freely as I wanted. I could have probably still touched if I wanted… but the implications… hearts breaking…

  “Fine,” I said. “A toast.”

  “To us,” Brice said. “Living through thick and thin. Being able to talk all these years later. It’s pretty awesome, Kins. I never thought this moment would happen. You standing here with me. Oh, and another thing. You did it.”

  “Did what?” I asked.

  “You went to school and have your dream job,” Brice said. “Cheers to that alone. That's fucking amazing what you’ve done.”

  “Yeah, sure,” I said.

  Brice hit his beer bottle to mine but paused when the bottle touched his lips. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “You’re lying to me, Kins. What’s wrong?”