Complete Plays, The

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Complete Plays, The Page 84

by William Shakespeare


  Menelaus

  I’ll have my kiss, sir. Lady, by your leave.

  Cressida

  In kissing, do you render or receive?

  Patroclus

  Both take and give.

  Cressida

  I’ll make my match to live,

  The kiss you take is better than you give;

  Therefore no kiss.

  Menelaus

  I’ll give you boot, I’ll give you three for one.

  Cressida

  You’re an odd man; give even or give none.

  Menelaus

  An odd man, lady! every man is odd.

  Cressida

  No, Paris is not; for you know ’tis true,

  That you are odd, and he is even with you.

  Menelaus

  You fillip me o’ the head.

  Cressida

  No, I’ll be sworn.

  Ulysses

  It were no match, your nail against his horn.

  May I, sweet lady, beg a kiss of you?

  Cressida

  You may.

  Ulysses

  I do desire it.

  Cressida

  Why, beg, then.

  Ulysses

  Why then for Venus’ sake, give me a kiss,

  When Helen is a maid again, and his.

  Cressida

  I am your debtor, claim it when ’tis due.

  Ulysses

  Never’s my day, and then a kiss of you.

  Diomedes

  Lady, a word: I’ll bring you to your father.

  Exit with Cressida

  Nestor

  A woman of quick sense.

  Ulysses

  Fie, fie upon her!

  There’s language in her eye, her cheek, her lip,

  Nay, her foot speaks; her wanton spirits look out

  At every joint and motive of her body.

  O, these encounterers, so glib of tongue,

  That give accosting welcome ere it comes,

  And wide unclasp the tables of their thoughts

  To every ticklish reader! set them down

  For sluttish spoils of opportunity

  And daughters of the game.

  Trumpet within

  All

  The Trojans’ trumpet.

  Agamemnon

  Yonder comes the troop.

  Enter Hector, armed; Aeneas, Troilus, and other Trojans, with Attendants

  Aeneas

  Hail, all you state of Greece! what shall be done

  To him that victory commands? or do you purpose

  A victor shall be known? will you the knights

  Shall to the edge of all extremity

  Pursue each other, or shall be divided

  By any voice or order of the field?

  Hector bade ask.

  Agamemnon

  Which way would Hector have it?

  Aeneas

  He cares not; he’ll obey conditions.

  Achilles

  ’Tis done like Hector; but securely done,

  A little proudly, and great deal misprizing

  The knight opposed.

  Aeneas

  If not Achilles, sir,

  What is your name?

  Achilles

  If not Achilles, nothing.

  Aeneas

  Therefore Achilles: but, whate’er, know this:

  In the extremity of great and little,

  Valour and pride excel themselves in Hector;

  The one almost as infinite as all,

  The other blank as nothing. Weigh him well,

  And that which looks like pride is courtesy.

  This Ajax is half made of Hector’s blood:

  In love whereof, half Hector stays at home;

  Half heart, half hand, half Hector comes to seek

  This blended knight, half Trojan and half Greek.

  Achilles

  A maiden battle, then? O, I perceive you.

  Re-enter Diomedes

  Agamemnon

  Here is Sir Diomed. Go, gentle knight,

  Stand by our Ajax: as you and Lord Aeneas

  Consent upon the order of their fight,

  So be it; either to the uttermost,

  Or else a breath: the combatants being kin

  Half stints their strife before their strokes begin.

  Ajax and Hector enter the lists

  Ulysses

  They are opposed already.

  Agamemnon

  What Trojan is that same that looks so heavy?

  Ulysses

  The youngest son of Priam, a true knight,

  Not yet mature, yet matchless, firm of word,

  Speaking in deeds and deedless in his tongue;

  Not soon provoked nor being provoked soon calm’d:

  His heart and hand both open and both free;

  For what he has he gives, what thinks he shows;

  Yet gives he not till judgment guide his bounty,

  Nor dignifies an impure thought with breath;

  Manly as Hector, but more dangerous;

  For Hector in his blaze of wrath subscribes

  To tender objects, but he in heat of action

  Is more vindicative than jealous love:

  They call him Troilus, and on him erect

  A second hope, as fairly built as Hector.

  Thus says Aeneas; one that knows the youth

  Even to his inches, and with private soul

  Did in great Ilion thus translate him to me.

  Alarum. Hector and Ajax fight

  Agamemnon

  They are in action.

  Nestor

  Now, Ajax, hold thine own!

  Troilus

  Hector, thou sleep’st;

  Awake thee!

  Agamemnon

  His blows are well disposed: there, Ajax!

  Diomedes

  You must no more.

  Trumpets cease

  Aeneas

  Princes, enough, so please you.

  Ajax

  I am not warm yet; let us fight again.

  Diomedes

  As Hector pleases.

  Hector

  Why, then will I no more:

  Thou art, great lord, my father’s sister’s son,

  A cousin-german to great Priam’s seed;

  The obligation of our blood forbids

  A gory emulation ’twixt us twain:

  Were thy commixtion Greek and Trojan so

  That thou couldst say ‘This hand is Grecian all,

  And this is Trojan; the sinews of this leg

  All Greek, and this all Troy; my mother’s blood

  Runs on the dexter cheek, and this sinister

  Bounds in my father’s;’ by Jove multipotent,

  Thou shouldst not bear from me a Greekish member

  Wherein my sword had not impressure made

  Of our rank feud: but the just gods gainsay

  That any drop thou borrow’dst from thy mother,

  My sacred aunt, should by my mortal sword

  Be drain’d! Let me embrace thee, Ajax:

  By him that thunders, thou hast lusty arms;

  Hector would have them fall upon him thus:

  Cousin, all honour to thee!

  Ajax

  I thank thee, Hector

  Thou art too gentle and too free a man:

  I came to kill thee, cousin, and bear hence

  A great addition earned in thy death.

  Hector

  Not Neoptolemus so mirable,

  On whose bright crest Fame with her loud’st Oyes

  Cries ‘This is he,’ could promise to himself

  A thought of added honour torn from Hector.

  Aeneas

  There is expectance here from both the sides,

  What further you will do.

  Hector

  We’ll answer it;

  The issue is embracement: Ajax, farewell.

  Ajax

  If I might in entreaties find success


  As seld I have the chance — I would desire

  My famous cousin to our Grecian tents.

  Diomedes

  ’Tis Agamemnon’s wish, and great Achilles

  Doth long to see unarm’d the valiant Hector.

  Hector

  Aeneas, call my brother Troilus to me,

  And signify this loving interview

  To the expecters of our Trojan part;

  Desire them home. Give me thy hand, my cousin;

  I will go eat with thee and see your knights.

  Ajax

  Great Agamemnon comes to meet us here.

  Hector

  The worthiest of them tell me name by name;

  But for Achilles, mine own searching eyes

  Shall find him by his large and portly size.

  Agamemnon

  Worthy of arms! as welcome as to one

  That would be rid of such an enemy;

  But that’s no welcome: understand more clear,

  What’s past and what’s to come is strew’d with husks

  And formless ruin of oblivion;

  But in this extant moment, faith and troth,

  Strain’d purely from all hollow bias-drawing,

  Bids thee, with most divine integrity,

  From heart of very heart, great Hector, welcome.

  Hector

  I thank thee, most imperious Agamemnon.

  Agamemnon

  [To Troilus] My well-famed lord of Troy, no less to you.

  Menelaus

  Let me confirm my princely brother’s greeting:

  You brace of warlike brothers, welcome hither.

  Hector

  Who must we answer?

  Aeneas

  The noble Menelaus.

  Hector

  O, you, my lord? by Mars his gauntlet, thanks!

  Mock not, that I affect the untraded oath;

  Your quondam wife swears still by Venus’ glove:

  She’s well, but bade me not commend her to you.

  Menelaus

  Name her not now, sir; she’s a deadly theme.

  Hector

  O, pardon; I offend.

  Nestor

  I have, thou gallant Trojan, seen thee oft

  Labouring for destiny make cruel way

  Through ranks of Greekish youth, and I have seen thee,

  As hot as Perseus, spur thy Phrygian steed,

  Despising many forfeits and subduements,

  When thou hast hung thy advanced sword i’ the air,

  Not letting it decline on the declined,

  That I have said to some my standers by

  ‘Lo, Jupiter is yonder, dealing life!’

  And I have seen thee pause and take thy breath,

  When that a ring of Greeks have hemm’d thee in,

  Like an Olympian wrestling: this have I seen;

  But this thy countenance, still lock’d in steel,

  I never saw till now. I knew thy grandsire,

  And once fought with him: he was a soldier good;

  But, by great Mars, the captain of us all,

  Never saw like thee. Let an old man embrace thee;

  And, worthy warrior, welcome to our tents.

  Aeneas

  ’Tis the old Nestor.

  Hector

  Let me embrace thee, good old chronicle,

  That hast so long walk’d hand in hand with time:

  Most reverend Nestor, I am glad to clasp thee.

  Nestor

  I would my arms could match thee in contention,

  As they contend with thee in courtesy.

  Hector

  I would they could.

  Nestor

  Ha!

  By this white beard, I’ld fight with thee to-morrow.

  Well, welcome, welcome! I have seen the time.

  Ulysses

  I wonder now how yonder city stands

  When we have here her base and pillar by us.

  Hector

  I know your favour, Lord Ulysses, well.

  Ah, sir, there’s many a Greek and Trojan dead,

  Since first I saw yourself and Diomed

  In Ilion, on your Greekish embassy.

  Ulysses

  Sir, I foretold you then what would ensue:

  My prophecy is but half his journey yet;

  For yonder walls, that pertly front your town,

  Yond towers, whose wanton tops do buss the clouds,

  Must kiss their own feet.

  Hector

  I must not believe you:

  There they stand yet, and modestly I think,

  The fall of every Phrygian stone will cost

  A drop of Grecian blood: the end crowns all,

  And that old common arbitrator, Time,

  Will one day end it.

  Ulysses

  So to him we leave it.

  Most gentle and most valiant Hector, welcome:

  After the general, I beseech you next

  To feast with me and see me at my tent.

  Achilles

  I shall forestall thee, Lord Ulysses, thou!

  Now, Hector, I have fed mine eyes on thee;

  I have with exact view perused thee, Hector,

  And quoted joint by joint.

  Hector

  Is this Achilles?

  Achilles

  I am Achilles.

  Hector

  Stand fair, I pray thee: let me look on thee.

  Achilles

  Behold thy fill.

  Hector

  Nay, I have done already.

  Achilles

  Thou art too brief: I will the second time,

  As I would buy thee, view thee limb by limb.

  Hector

  O, like a book of sport thou’lt read me o’er;

  But there’s more in me than thou understand’st.

  Why dost thou so oppress me with thine eye?

  Achilles

  Tell me, you heavens, in which part of his body

  Shall I destroy him? whether there, or there, or there?

  That I may give the local wound a name

  And make distinct the very breach whereout

  Hector’s great spirit flew: answer me, heavens!

  Hector

  It would discredit the blest gods, proud man,

  To answer such a question: stand again:

  Think’st thou to catch my life so pleasantly

  As to prenominate in nice conjecture

  Where thou wilt hit me dead?

  Achilles

  I tell thee, yea.

  Hector

  Wert thou an oracle to tell me so,

  I’d not believe thee. Henceforth guard thee well;

  For I’ll not kill thee there, nor there, nor there;

  But, by the forge that stithied Mars his helm,

  I’ll kill thee every where, yea, o’er and o’er.

  You wisest Grecians, pardon me this brag;

  His insolence draws folly from my lips;

  But I’ll endeavour deeds to match these words,

  Or may I never —

  Ajax

  Do not chafe thee, cousin:

  And you, Achilles, let these threats alone,

  Till accident or purpose bring you to’t:

  You may have every day enough of Hector

  If you have stomach; the general state, I fear,

  Can scarce entreat you to be odd with him.

  Hector

  I pray you, let us see you in the field:

  We have had pelting wars, since you refused

  The Grecians’ cause.

  Achilles

  Dost thou entreat me, Hector?

  To-morrow do I meet thee, fell as death;

  To-night all friends.

  Hector

  Thy hand upon that match.

  Agamemnon

  First, all you peers of Greece, go to my tent;

  There in the full convive we: afterwards,

  As Hector’s
leisure and your bounties shall

  Concur together, severally entreat him.

  Beat loud the tabourines, let the trumpets blow,

  That this great soldier may his welcome know.

  Exeunt all except Troilus and Ulysses

  Troilus

  My Lord Ulysses, tell me, I beseech you,

  In what place of the field doth Calchas keep?

  Ulysses

  At Menelaus’ tent, most princely Troilus:

  There Diomed doth feast with him to-night;

  Who neither looks upon the heaven nor earth,

  But gives all gaze and bent of amorous view

  On the fair Cressid.

  Troilus

  Shall sweet lord, be bound to you so much,

  After we part from Agamemnon’s tent,

  To bring me thither?

  Ulysses

  You shall command me, sir.

  As gentle tell me, of what honour was

  This Cressida in Troy? Had she no lover there

  That wails her absence?

  Troilus

  O, sir, to such as boasting show their scars

  A mock is due. Will you walk on, my lord?

  She was beloved, she loved; she is, and doth:

  But still sweet love is food for fortune’s tooth.

  Exeunt

  ACT V

  SCENE I. THE GRECIAN CAMP. BEFORE ACHILLES’ TENT.

  Enter Achilles and Patroclus

  Achilles

  I’ll heat his blood with Greekish wine to-night,

  Which with my scimitar I’ll cool to-morrow.

  Patroclus, let us feast him to the height.

  Patroclus

  Here comes Thersites.

  Enter Thersites

  Achilles

  How now, thou core of envy!

  Thou crusty batch of nature, what’s the news?

  Thersites

  Why, thou picture of what thou seemest, and idol of idiot worshippers, here’s a letter for thee.

  Achilles

  From whence, fragment?

  Thersites

  Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy.

  Patroclus

  Who keeps the tent now?

  Thersites

  The surgeon’s box, or the patient’s wound.

  Patroclus

  Well said, adversity! and what need these tricks?

  Thersites

  Prithee, be silent, boy; I profit not by thy talk: thou art thought to be Achilles’ male varlet.

  Patroclus

  Male varlet, you rogue! what’s that?

  Thersites

  Why, his masculine whore. Now, the rotten diseases of the south, the guts-griping, ruptures, catarrhs, loads o’ gravel i’ the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas, limekilns i’ the palm, incurable bone-ache, and the rivelled fee-simple of the tetter, take and take again such preposterous discoveries!

  Patroclus

  Why thou damnable box of envy, thou, what meanest thou to curse thus?

  Thersites

  Do I curse thee?

  Patroclus

  Why no, you ruinous butt, you whoreson indistinguishable cur, no.

 

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