Complete Plays, The

by William Shakespeare

Show me this piece. I am joyful of your sights.

  Enter Alcibiades, with the rest

  Most welcome, sir!

  Apemantus

  So, so, there!

  Aches contract and starve your supple joints!

  That there should be small love ’mongst these sweet knaves,

  And all this courtesy! The strain of man’s bred out

  Into baboon and monkey.

  Alcibiades

  Sir, you have saved my longing, and I feed

  Most hungerly on your sight.

  Timon

  Right welcome, sir!

  Ere we depart, we’ll share a bounteous time

  In different pleasures. Pray you, let us in.

  Exeunt all except Apemantus

  Enter two Lords

  First Lord

  What time o’ day is’t, Apemantus?

  Apemantus

  Time to be honest.

  First Lord

  That time serves still.

  Apemantus

  The more accursed thou, that still omitt’st it.

  Second Lord

  Thou art going to Lord Timon’s feast?

  Apemantus

  Ay, to see meat fill knaves and wine heat fools.

  Second Lord

  Fare thee well, fare thee well.

  Apemantus

  Thou art a fool to bid me farewell twice.

  Second Lord

  Why, Apemantus?

  Apemantus

  Shouldst have kept one to thyself, for I mean to give thee none.

  First Lord

  Hang thyself!

  Apemantus

  No, I will do nothing at thy bidding: make thy requests to thy friend.

  Second Lord

  Away, unpeaceable dog, or I’ll spurn thee hence!

  Apemantus

  I will fly, like a dog, the heels o’ the ass.

  Exit

  First Lord

  He’s opposite to humanity. Come, shall we in,

  And taste Lord Timon’s bounty? he outgoes

  The very heart of kindness.

  Second Lord

  He pours it out; Plutus, the god of gold,

  Is but his steward: no meed, but he repays

  Sevenfold above itself; no gift to him,

  But breeds the giver a return exceeding

  All use of quittance.

  First Lord

  The noblest mind he carries

  That ever govern’d man.

  Second Lord

  Long may he live in fortunes! Shall we in?

  First Lord

  I’ll keep you company.

  Exeunt

  SCENE II. A BANQUETING-ROOM IN TIMON’S HOUSE.

  Hautboys playing loud music. A great banquet served in; Flavius and others attending; then enter Timon, Alcibiades, Lords, Senators, and Ventidius. Then comes, dropping, after all, Apemantus, discontentedly, like himself

  Ventidius

  Most honour’d Timon,

  It hath pleased the gods to remember my father’s age,

  And call him to long peace.

  He is gone happy, and has left me rich:

  Then, as in grateful virtue I am bound

  To your free heart, I do return those talents,

  Doubled with thanks and service, from whose help

  I derived liberty.

  Timon

  O, by no means,

  Honest Ventidius; you mistake my love:

  I gave it freely ever; and there’s none

  Can truly say he gives, if he receives:

  If our betters play at that game, we must not dare

  To imitate them; faults that are rich are fair.

  Ventidius

  A noble spirit!

  Timon

  Nay, my lords,

  They all stand ceremoniously looking on Timon

  Ceremony was but devised at first

  To set a gloss on faint deeds, hollow welcomes,

  Recanting goodness, sorry ere ’tis shown;

  But where there is true friendship, there needs none.

  Pray, sit; more welcome are ye to my fortunes

  Than my fortunes to me.

  They sit

  First Lord

  My lord, we always have confess’d it.

  Apemantus

  Ho, ho, confess’d it! hang’d it, have you not?

  Timon

  O, Apemantus, you are welcome.

  Apemantus

  No;

  You shall not make me welcome:

  I come to have thee thrust me out of doors.

  Timon

  Fie, thou’rt a churl; ye’ve got a humour there

  Does not become a man: ’tis much to blame.

  They say, my lords, ‘ira furor brevis est;’ but yond man is ever angry. Go, let him have a table by himself, for he does neither affect company, nor is he fit for’t, indeed.

  Apemantus

  Let me stay at thine apperil, Timon: I come to observe; I give thee warning on’t.

  Timon

  I take no heed of thee; thou’rt an Athenian, therefore welcome: I myself would have no power; prithee, let my meat make thee silent.

  Apemantus

  I scorn thy meat; ’twould choke me, for I should ne’er flatter thee. O you gods, what a number of men eat Timon, and he sees ’em not! It grieves me to see so many dip their meat in one man’s blood; and all the madness is, he cheers them up too.

  I wonder men dare trust themselves with men:

  Methinks they should invite them without knives;

  Good for their meat, and safer for their lives.

  There’s much example for’t; the fellow that sits next him now, parts bread with him, pledges the breath of him in a divided draught, is the readiest man to kill him: ’t has been proved. If I were a huge man, I should fear to drink at meals;

  Lest they should spy my windpipe’s dangerous notes:

  Great men should drink with harness on their throats.

  Timon

  My lord, in heart; and let the health go round.

  Second Lord

  Let it flow this way, my good lord.

  Apemantus

  Flow this way! A brave fellow! he keeps his tides well. Those healths will make thee and thy state look ill, Timon. Here’s that which is too weak to be a sinner, honest water, which ne’er left man i’ the mire:

  This and my food are equals; there’s no odds:

  Feasts are too proud to give thanks to the gods.

  Apemantus’ grace.

  Immortal gods, I crave no pelf;

  I pray for no man but myself:

  Grant I may never prove so fond,

  To trust man on his oath or bond;

  Or a harlot, for her weeping;

  Or a dog, that seems a-sleeping:

  Or a keeper with my freedom;

  Or my friends, if I should need ’em.

  Amen. So fall to’t:

  Rich men sin, and I eat root.

  Eats and drinks

  Much good dich thy good heart, Apemantus!

  Timon

  Captain Alcibiades, your heart’s in the field now.

  Alcibiades

  My heart is ever at your service, my lord.

  Timon

  You had rather be at a breakfast of enemies than a dinner of friends.

  Alcibiades

  So the were bleeding-new, my lord, there’s no meat like ’em: I could wish my best friend at such a feast.

  Apemantus

  Would all those fatterers were thine enemies then, that then thou mightst kill ’em and bid me to ’em!

  First Lord

  Might we but have that happiness, my lord, that you would once use our hearts, whereby we might express some part of our zeals, we should think ourselves for ever perfect.

  Timon

  O, no doubt, my good friends, but the gods themselves have provided that I shall have much help from you: how had you been my friends else? why have you that charitable title
from thousands, did not you chiefly belong to my heart? I have told more of you to myself than you can with modesty speak in your own behalf; and thus far I confirm you. O you gods, think I, what need we have any friends, if we should ne’er have need of ’em? they were the most needless creatures living, should we ne’er have use for ’em, and would most resemble sweet instruments hung up in cases that keep their sounds to themselves. Why, I have often wished myself poorer, that I might come nearer to you. We are born to do benefits: and what better or properer can we can our own than the riches of our friends? O, what a precious comfort ’tis, to have so many, like brothers, commanding one another’s fortunes! O joy, e’en made away ere ’t can be born! Mine eyes cannot hold out water, methinks: to forget their faults, I drink to you.

  Apemantus

  Thou weepest to make them drink, Timon.

  Second Lord

  Joy had the like conception in our eyes

  And at that instant like a babe sprung up.

  Apemantus

  Ho, ho! I laugh to think that babe a bastard.

  Third Lord

  I promise you, my lord, you moved me much.

  Apemantus

  Much!

  Tucket, within

  Timon

  What means that trump?

  Enter a Servant

  How now?

  Servant

  Please you, my lord, there are certain ladies most desirous of admittance.

  Timon

  Ladies! what are their wills?

  Servant

  There comes with them a forerunner, my lord, which bears that office, to signify their pleasures.

  Timon

  I pray, let them be admitted.

  Enter Cupid

  Cupid

  Hail to thee, worthy Timon, and to all

  That of his bounties taste! The five best senses

  Acknowledge thee their patron; and come freely

  To gratulate thy plenteous bosom: th’ ear,

  Taste, touch and smell, pleased from thy tale rise;

  They only now come but to feast thine eyes.

  Timon

  They’re welcome all; let ’em have kind admittance:

  Music, make their welcome!

  Exit Cupid

  First Lord

  You see, my lord, how ample you’re beloved.

  Music. Re-enter Cupid with a mask of Ladies as Amazons, with lutes in their hands, dancing and playing

  Apemantus

  Hoy-day, what a sweep of vanity comes this way!

  They dance! they are mad women.

  Like madness is the glory of this life.

  As this pomp shows to a little oil and root.

  We make ourselves fools, to disport ourselves;

  And spend our flatteries, to drink those men

  Upon whose age we void it up again,

  With poisonous spite and envy.

  Who lives that’s not depraved or depraves?

  Who dies, that bears not one spurn to their graves

  Of their friends’ gift?

  I should fear those that dance before me now

  Would one day stamp upon me: ’t has been done;

  Men shut their doors against a setting sun.

  The Lords rise from table, with much adoring of Timon; and to show their loves, each singles out an Amazon, and all dance, men with women, a lofty strain or two to the hautboys, and cease

  Timon

  You have done our pleasures much grace, fair ladies,

  Set a fair fashion on our entertainment,

  Which was not half so beautiful and kind;

  You have added worth unto ’t and lustre,

  And entertain’d me with mine own device;

  I am to thank you for ’t.

  First Lady

  My lord, you take us even at the best.

  Apemantus

  ’Faith, for the worst is filthy; and would not hold taking, I doubt me.

  Timon

  Ladies, there is an idle banquet attends you:

  Please you to dispose yourselves.

  All Ladies

  Most thankfully, my lord.

  Exeunt Cupid and Ladies

  Timon

  Flavius.

  Flavius

  My lord?

  Timon

  The little casket bring me hither.

  Flavius

  Yes, my lord. More jewels yet!

  There is no crossing him in ’s humour;

  Aside

  Else I should tell him,— well, i’ faith I should,

  When all’s spent, he ’ld be cross’d then, an he could.

  ’Tis pity bounty had not eyes behind,

  That man might ne’er be wretched for his mind.

  Exit

  First Lord

  Where be our men?

  Servant

  Here, my lord, in readiness.

  Second Lord

  Our horses!

  Re-enter Flavius, with the casket

  Timon

  O my friends,

  I have one word to say to you: look you, my good lord,

  I must entreat you, honour me so much

  As to advance this jewel; accept it and wear it,

  Kind my lord.

  First Lord

  I am so far already in your gifts,—

  All

  So are we all.

  Enter a Servant

  Servant

  My lord, there are certain nobles of the senate

  Newly alighted, and come to visit you.

  Timon

  They are fairly welcome.

  Flavius

  I beseech your honour,

  Vouchsafe me a word; it does concern you near.

  Timon

  Near! why then, another time I’ll hear thee:

  I prithee, let’s be provided to show them entertainment.

  Flavius

  [Aside] I scarce know how.

  Enter a Second Servant

  Second Servant

  May it please your honour, Lord Lucius,

  Out of his free love, hath presented to you

  Four milk-white horses, trapp’d in silver.

  Timon

  I shall accept them fairly; let the presents

  Be worthily entertain’d.

  Enter a third Servant

  How now! what news?

  Third Servant

  Please you, my lord, that honourable gentleman, Lord Lucullus, entreats your company to-morrow to hunt with him, and has sent your honour two brace of greyhounds.

  Timon

  I’ll hunt with him; and let them be received,

  Not without fair reward.

  Flavius

  [Aside] What will this come to?

  He commands us to provide, and give great gifts,

  And all out of an empty coffer:

  Nor will he know his purse, or yield me this,

  To show him what a beggar his heart is,

  Being of no power to make his wishes good:

  His promises fly so beyond his state

  That what he speaks is all in debt; he owes

  For every word: he is so kind that he now

  Pays interest for ’t; his land’s put to their books.

  Well, would I were gently put out of office

  Before I were forced out!

  Happier is he that has no friend to feed

  Than such that do e’en enemies exceed.

  I bleed inwardly for my lord.

  Exit

  Timon

  You do yourselves

  Much wrong, you bate too much of your own merits:

  Here, my lord, a trifle of our love.

  Second Lord

  With more than common thanks I will receive it.

  Third Lord

  O, he’s the very soul of bounty!

  Timon

  And now I remember, my lord, you gave

  Good words the other day of a bay courser

  I rode on: it is yours, b
ecause you liked it.

  Second Lord

  O, I beseech you, pardon me, my lord, in that.

  Timon

  You may take my word, my lord; I know, no man

  Can justly praise but what he does affect:

  I weigh my friend’s affection with mine own;

  I’ll tell you true. I’ll call to you.

  All Lords

  O, none so welcome.

  Timon

  I take all and your several visitations

  So kind to heart, ’tis not enough to give;

  Methinks, I could deal kingdoms to my friends,

  And ne’er be weary. Alcibiades,

  Thou art a soldier, therefore seldom rich;

  It comes in charity to thee: for all thy living

  Is ’mongst the dead, and all the lands thou hast

  Lie in a pitch’d field.

  Alcibiades

  Ay, defiled land, my lord.

  First Lord

  We are so virtuously bound —

  Timon

  And so

  Am I to you.

  Second Lord

  So infinitely endear’d —

  Timon

  All to you. Lights, more lights!

  First Lord

  The best of happiness,

  Honour and fortunes, keep with you, Lord Timon!

  Timon

  Ready for his friends.

  Exeunt all but Apemantus and Timon

  Apemantus

  What a coil’s here!

  Serving of becks and jutting-out of bums!

  I doubt whether their legs be worth the sums

  That are given for ’em. Friendship’s full of dregs:

  Methinks, false hearts should never have sound legs,

  Thus honest fools lay out their wealth on court’sies.

  Timon

  Now, Apemantus, if thou wert not sullen, I would be good to thee.

  Apemantus

  No, I’ll nothing: for if I should be bribed too, there would be none left to rail upon thee, and then thou wouldst sin the faster. Thou givest so long, Timon, I fear me thou wilt give away thyself in paper shortly: what need these feasts, pomps and vain-glories?

  Timon

  Nay, an you begin to rail on society once, I am sworn not to give regard to you. Farewell; and come with better music.

  Exit

  Apemantus

  So:

  Thou wilt not hear me now; thou shalt not then:

  I’ll lock thy heaven from thee.

  O, that men’s ears should be

  To counsel deaf, but not to flattery!

  Exit

  ACT II

  SCENE I. A SENATOR’S HOUSE.

  Enter Senator, with papers in his hand

  Senator

  And late, five thousand: to Varro and to Isidore

  He owes nine thousand; besides my former sum,

  Which makes it five and twenty. Still in motion

  Of raging waste? It cannot hold; it will not.

  If I want gold, steal but a beggar’s dog,