Katharina
I’faith, sir, you shall never need to fear:
I wis it is not half way to her heart;
But if it were, doubt not her care should be
To comb your noddle with a three-legg’d stool
And paint your face and use you like a fool.
Hortensio
From all such devils, good Lord deliver us!
Gremio
And me too, good Lord!
Tranio
Hush, master! here’s some good pastime toward:
That wench is stark mad or wonderful froward.
Lucentio
But in the other’s silence do I see
Maid’s mild behavior and sobriety.
Peace, Tranio!
Tranio
Well said, master; mum! and gaze your fill.
Baptista
Gentlemen, that I may soon make good
What I have said, Bianca, get you in:
And let it not displease thee, good Bianca,
For I will love thee ne’er the less, my girl.
Katharina
A pretty peat! it is best
Put finger in the eye, an she knew why.
Bianca
Sister, content you in my discontent.
Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe:
My books and instruments shall be my company,
On them to took and practise by myself.
Lucentio
Hark, Tranio! thou may’st hear Minerva speak.
Hortensio
Signior Baptista, will you be so strange?
Sorry am I that our good will effects
Bianca’s grief.
Gremio
Why will you mew her up,
Signior Baptista, for this fiend of hell,
And make her bear the penance of her tongue?
Baptista
Gentlemen, content ye; I am resolved:
Go in, Bianca:
Exit Bianca
And for I know she taketh most delight
In music, instruments and poetry,
Schoolmasters will I keep within my house,
Fit to instruct her youth. If you, Hortensio,
Or Signior Gremio, you, know any such,
Prefer them hither; for to cunning men
I will be very kind, and liberal
To mine own children in good bringing up:
And so farewell. Katharina, you may stay;
For I have more to commune with Bianca.
Exit
Katharina
Why, and I trust I may go too, may I not? What, shall I be appointed hours; as though, belike, I knew not what to take and what to leave, ha?
Exit
Gremio
You may go to the devil’s dam: your gifts are so good, here’s none will hold you. Their love is not so great, Hortensio, but we may blow our nails together, and fast it fairly out: our cakes dough on both sides. Farewell: yet for the love I bear my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a fit man to teach her that wherein she delights, I will wish him to her father.
Hortensio
So will I, Signior Gremio: but a word, I pray. Though the nature of our quarrel yet never brooked parle, know now, upon advice, it toucheth us both, that we may yet again have access to our fair mistress and be happy rivals in Bianco’s love, to labour and effect one thing specially.
Gremio
What’s that, I pray?
Hortensio
Marry, sir, to get a husband for her sister.
Gremio
A husband! a devil.
Hortensio
I say, a husband.
Gremio
I say, a devil. Thinkest thou, Hortensio, though her father be very rich, any man is so very a fool to be married to hell?
Hortensio
Tush, Gremio, though it pass your patience and mine to endure her loud alarums, why, man, there be good fellows in the world, an a man could light on them, would take her with all faults, and money enough.
Gremio
I cannot tell; but I had as lief take her dowry with this condition, to be whipped at the high cross every morning.
Hortensio
Faith, as you say, there’s small choice in rotten apples. But come; since this bar in law makes us friends, it shall be so far forth friendly maintained all by helping Baptista’s eldest daughter to a husband we set his youngest free for a husband, and then have to’t a fresh. Sweet Bianca! Happy man be his dole! He that runs fastest gets the ring. How say you, Signior Gremio?
Gremio
I am agreed; and would I had given him the best horse in Padua to begin his wooing that would thoroughly woo her, wed her and bed her and rid the house of her! Come on.
Exeunt Gremio and Hortensio
Tranio
I pray, sir, tell me, is it possible
That love should of a sudden take such hold?
Lucentio
O Tranio, till I found it to be true,
I never thought it possible or likely;
But see, while idly I stood looking on,
I found the effect of love in idleness:
And now in plainness do confess to thee,
That art to me as secret and as dear
As Anna to the queen of Carthage was,
Tranio, I burn, I pine, I perish, Tranio,
If I achieve not this young modest girl.
Counsel me, Tranio, for I know thou canst;
Assist me, Tranio, for I know thou wilt.
Tranio
Master, it is no time to chide you now;
Affection is not rated from the heart:
If love have touch’d you, nought remains but so,
‘Redime te captum quam queas minimo.’
Lucentio
Gramercies, lad, go forward; this contents:
The rest will comfort, for thy counsel’s sound.
Tranio
Master, you look’d so longly on the maid,
Perhaps you mark’d not what’s the pith of all.
Lucentio
O yes, I saw sweet beauty in her face,
Such as the daughter of Agenor had,
That made great Jove to humble him to her hand.
When with his knees he kiss’d the Cretan strand.
Tranio
Saw you no more? mark’d you not how her sister
Began to scold and raise up such a storm
That mortal ears might hardly endure the din?
Lucentio
Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move
And with her breath she did perfume the air:
Sacred and sweet was all I saw in her.
Tranio
Nay, then, ’tis time to stir him from his trance.
I pray, awake, sir: if you love the maid,
Bend thoughts and wits to achieve her. Thus it stands:
Her eldest sister is so curst and shrewd
That till the father rid his hands of her,
Master, your love must live a maid at home;
And therefore has he closely mew’d her up,
Because she will not be annoy’d with suitors.
Lucentio
Ah, Tranio, what a cruel father’s he!
But art thou not advised, he took some care
To get her cunning schoolmasters to instruct her?
Tranio
Ay, marry, am I, sir; and now ’tis plotted.
Lucentio
I have it, Tranio.
Tranio
Master, for my hand,
Both our inventions meet and jump in one.
Lucentio
Tell me thine first.
Tranio
You will be schoolmaster
And undertake the teaching of the maid:
That’s your device.
Lucentio
It is: may it be done?
Tranio
Not possible; for who shall bear your part,
And be in Padua here Vincentio’s s
on,
Keep house and ply his book, welcome his friends,
Visit his countrymen and banquet them?
Lucentio
Basta; content thee, for I have it full.
We have not yet been seen in any house,
Nor can we lie distinguish’d by our faces
For man or master; then it follows thus;
Thou shalt be master, Tranio, in my stead,
Keep house and port and servants as I should:
I will some other be, some Florentine,
Some Neapolitan, or meaner man of Pisa.
’Tis hatch’d and shall be so: Tranio, at once
Uncase thee; take my colour’d hat and cloak:
When Biondello comes, he waits on thee;
But I will charm him first to keep his tongue.
Tranio
So had you need.
In brief, sir, sith it your pleasure is,
And I am tied to be obedient;
For so your father charged me at our parting,
‘Be serviceable to my son,’ quoth he,
Although I think ’twas in another sense;
I am content to be Lucentio,
Because so well I love Lucentio.
Lucentio
Tranio, be so, because Lucentio loves:
And let me be a slave, to achieve that maid
Whose sudden sight hath thrall’d my wounded eye.
Here comes the rogue.
Enter Biondello
Sirrah, where have you been?
Biondello
Where have I been! Nay, how now! where are you? Master, has my fellow Tranio stolen your clothes? Or you stolen his? or both? pray, what’s the news?
Lucentio
Sirrah, come hither: ’tis no time to jest,
And therefore frame your manners to the time.
Your fellow Tranio here, to save my life,
Puts my apparel and my countenance on,
And I for my escape have put on his;
For in a quarrel since I came ashore
I kill’d a man and fear I was descried:
Wait you on him, I charge you, as becomes,
While I make way from hence to save my life:
You understand me?
Biondello
I, sir! ne’er a whit.
Lucentio
And not a jot of Tranio in your mouth:
Tranio is changed into Lucentio.
Biondello
The better for him: would I were so too!
Tranio
So could I, faith, boy, to have the next wish after,
That Lucentio indeed had Baptista’s youngest daughter.
But, sirrah, not for my sake, but your master’s, I advise
You use your manners discreetly in all kind of companies:
When I am alone, why, then I am Tranio;
But in all places else your master Lucentio.
Lucentio
Tranio, let’s go: one thing more rests, that thyself execute, to make one among these wooers: if thou ask me why, sufficeth, my reasons are both good and weighty.
Exeunt
The presenters above speak
First Servant
My lord, you nod; you do not mind the play.
Sly
Yes, by Saint Anne, do I. A good matter, surely: comes there any more of it?
Page
My lord, ’tis but begun.
Sly
’Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam lady: would ’twere done!
They sit and mark
SCENE II. PADUA. BEFORE HORTENSIO’S HOUSE.
Enter Petruchio and his man Grumio
Petruchio
Verona, for a while I take my leave,
To see my friends in Padua, but of all
My best beloved and approved friend,
Hortensio; and I trow this is his house.
Here, sirrah Grumio; knock, I say.
Grumio
Knock, sir! whom should I knock? is there man has rebused your worship?
Petruchio
Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.
Grumio
Knock you here, sir! why, sir, what am I, sir, that
I should knock you here, sir?
Petruchio
Villain, I say, knock me at this gate
And rap me well, or I’ll knock your knave’s pate.
Grumio
My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock you first, And then I know after who comes by the worst.
Petruchio
Will it not be?
Faith, sirrah, an you’ll not knock, I’ll ring it;
I’ll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.
He wrings him by the ears
Grumio
Help, masters, help! my master is mad.
Petruchio
Now, knock when I bid you, sirrah villain!
Enter Hortensio
Hortensio
How now! what’s the matter? My old friend Grumio! and my good friend Petruchio! How do you all at Verona?
Petruchio
Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray?
‘Con tutto il cuore, ben trovato,’ may I say.
Hortensio
‘Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorato signor mio Petruchio.’ Rise, Grumio, rise: we will compound this quarrel.
Grumio
Nay, ’tis no matter, sir, what he ’leges in Latin. if this be not a lawful case for me to leave his service, look you, sir, he bid me knock him and rap him soundly, sir: well, was it fit for a servant to use his master so, being perhaps, for aught I see, two and thirty, a pip out? Whom would to God I had well knock’d at first, Then had not Grumio come by the worst.
Petruchio
A senseless villain! Good Hortensio,
I bade the rascal knock upon your gate
And could not get him for my heart to do it.
Grumio
Knock at the gate! O heavens! Spake you not these words plain, ‘sirrah, knock me here, rap me here, knock me well, and knock me soundly’? And come you now with, ‘knocking at the gate’?
Petruchio
Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you.
Hortensio
Petruchio, patience; I am Grumio’s pledge:
Why, this’s a heavy chance ’twixt him and you,
Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.
And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale
Blows you to Padua here from old Verona?
Petruchio
Such wind as scatters young men through the world,
To seek their fortunes farther than at home
Where small experience grows. But in a few,
Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me:
Antonio, my father, is deceased;
And I have thrust myself into this maze,
Haply to wive and thrive as best I may:
Crowns in my purse I have and goods at home,
And so am come abroad to see the world.
Hortensio
Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee
And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favour’d wife?
Thou’ldst thank me but a little for my counsel:
And yet I’ll promise thee she shall be rich
And very rich: but thou’rt too much my friend,
And I’ll not wish thee to her.
Petruchio
Signior Hortensio, ’twixt such friends as we
Few words suffice; and therefore, if thou know
One rich enough to be Petruchio’s wife,
As wealth is burden of my wooing dance,
Be she as foul as was Florentius’ love,
As old as Sibyl and as curst and shrewd
As Socrates’ Xanthippe, or a worse,
She moves me not, or not removes, at least,
Affection’s edge in me, were she as rough
As are the swelling Adriatic seas:
I come to wi
ve it wealthily in Padua;
If wealthily, then happily in Padua.
Grumio
Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is: Why give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or an aglet-baby; or an old trot with ne’er a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two and fifty horses: why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.
Hortensio
Petruchio, since we are stepp’d thus far in,
I will continue that I broach’d in jest.
I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife
With wealth enough and young and beauteous,
Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman:
Her only fault, and that is faults enough,
Is that she is intolerable curst
And shrewd and froward, so beyond all measure
That, were my state far worser than it is,
I would not wed her for a mine of gold.
Petruchio
Hortensio, peace! thou know’st not gold’s effect:
Tell me her father’s name and ’tis enough;
For I will board her, though she chide as loud
As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.
Hortensio
Her father is Baptista Minola,
An affable and courteous gentleman:
Her name is Katharina Minola,
Renown’d in Padua for her scolding tongue.
Petruchio
I know her father, though I know not her;
And he knew my deceased father well.
I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her;
And therefore let me be thus bold with you
To give you over at this first encounter,
Unless you will accompany me thither.
Grumio
I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts. O’ my word, an she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him: she may perhaps call him half a score knaves or so: why, that’s nothing; an he begin once, he’ll rail in his rope-tricks. I’ll tell you what sir, an she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face and so disfigure her with it that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat. You know him not, sir.
Hortensio
Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee,
For in Baptista’s keep my treasure is:
He hath the jewel of my life in hold,
His youngest daughter, beautiful Binaca,
And her withholds from me and other more,
Suitors to her and rivals in my love,
Supposing it a thing impossible,
For those defects I have before rehearsed,
That ever Katharina will be woo’d;
Therefore this order hath Baptista ta’en,
That none shall have access unto Bianca
Till Katharina the curst have got a husband.
Grumio
Katharina the curst!
A title for a maid of all titles the worst.
Complete Plays, The Page 324