Hortensio
Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace,
And offer me disguised in sober robes
To old Baptista as a schoolmaster
Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca;
That so I may, by this device, at least
Have leave and leisure to make love to her
And unsuspected court her by herself.
Grumio
Here’s no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together!
Enter Gremio, and Lucentio disguised
Master, master, look about you: who goes there, ha?
Hortensio
Peace, Grumio! it is the rival of my love.
Petruchio, stand by a while.
Grumio
A proper stripling and an amorous!
Gremio
O, very well; I have perused the note.
Hark you, sir: I’ll have them very fairly bound:
All books of love, see that at any hand;
And see you read no other lectures to her:
You understand me: over and beside
Signior Baptista’s liberality,
I’ll mend it with a largess. Take your paper too,
And let me have them very well perfumed
For she is sweeter than perfume itself
To whom they go to. What will you read to her?
Lucentio
Whate’er I read to her, I’ll plead for you
As for my patron, stand you so assured,
As firmly as yourself were still in place:
Yea, and perhaps with more successful words
Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.
Gremio
O this learning, what a thing it is!
Grumio
O this woodcock, what an ass it is!
Petruchio
Peace, sirrah!
Hortensio
Grumio, mum! God save you, Signior Gremio.
Gremio
And you are well met, Signior Hortensio.
Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.
I promised to inquire carefully
About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca:
And by good fortune I have lighted well
On this young man, for learning and behavior
Fit for her turn, well read in poetry
And other books, good ones, I warrant ye.
Hortensio
’Tis well; and I have met a gentleman
Hath promised me to help me to another,
A fine musician to instruct our mistress;
So shall I no whit be behind in duty
To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.
Gremio
Beloved of me; and that my deeds shall prove.
Grumio
And that his bags shall prove.
Hortensio
Gremio, ’tis now no time to vent our love:
Listen to me, and if you speak me fair,
I’ll tell you news indifferent good for either.
Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met,
Upon agreement from us to his liking,
Will undertake to woo curst Katharina,
Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.
Gremio
So said, so done, is well.
Hortensio, have you told him all her faults?
Petruchio
I know she is an irksome brawling scold:
If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.
Gremio
No, say’st me so, friend? What countryman?
Petruchio
Born in Verona, old Antonio’s son:
My father dead, my fortune lives for me;
And I do hope good days and long to see.
Gremio
O sir, such a life, with such a wife, were strange!
But if you have a stomach, to’t i’ God’s name:
You shall have me assisting you in all.
But will you woo this wild-cat?
Petruchio
Will I live?
Grumio
Will he woo her? ay, or I’ll hang her.
Petruchio
Why came I hither but to that intent?
Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?
Have I not in my time heard lions roar?
Have I not heard the sea puff’d up with winds
Rage like an angry boar chafed with sweat?
Have I not heard great ordnance in the field,
And heaven’s artillery thunder in the skies?
Have I not in a pitched battle heard
Loud ’larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets’ clang?
And do you tell me of a woman’s tongue,
That gives not half so great a blow to hear
As will a chestnut in a farmer’s fire?
Tush, tush! fear boys with bugs.
Grumio
For he fears none.
Gremio
Hortensio, hark:
This gentleman is happily arrived,
My mind presumes, for his own good and ours.
Hortensio
I promised we would be contributors
And bear his charging of wooing, whatsoe’er.
Gremio
And so we will, provided that he win her.
Grumio
I would I were as sure of a good dinner.
Enter Tranio brave, and Biondello
Tranio
Gentlemen, God save you. If I may be bold,
Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way
To the house of Signior Baptista Minola?
Biondello
He that has the two fair daughters: is’t he you mean?
Tranio
Even he, Biondello.
Gremio
Hark you, sir; you mean not her to —
Tranio
Perhaps, him and her, sir: what have you to do?
Petruchio
Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.
Tranio
I love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let’s away.
Lucentio
Well begun, Tranio.
Hortensio
Sir, a word ere you go;
Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no?
Tranio
And if I be, sir, is it any offence?
Gremio
No; if without more words you will get you hence.
Tranio
Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free
For me as for you?
Gremio
But so is not she.
Tranio
For what reason, I beseech you?
Gremio
For this reason, if you’ll know,
That she’s the choice love of Signior Gremio.
Hortensio
That she’s the chosen of Signior Hortensio.
Tranio
Softly, my masters! if you be gentlemen,
Do me this right; hear me with patience.
Baptista is a noble gentleman,
To whom my father is not all unknown;
And were his daughter fairer than she is,
She may more suitors have and me for one.
Fair Leda’s daughter had a thousand wooers;
Then well one more may fair Bianca have:
And so she shall; Lucentio shall make one,
Though Paris came in hope to speed alone.
Gremio
What! this gentleman will out-talk us all.
Lucentio
Sir, give him head: I know he’ll prove a jade.
Petruchio
Hortensio, to what end are all these words?
Hortensio
Sir, let me be so bold as ask you,
Did you yet ever see Baptista’s daughter?
Tranio
No, sir; but hear I do that he hath two,
The one as famous for a scolding tongue
As is th
e other for beauteous modesty.
Petruchio
Sir, sir, the first’s for me; let her go by.
Gremio
Yea, leave that labour to great Hercules;
And let it be more than Alcides’ twelve.
Petruchio
Sir, understand you this of me in sooth:
The younges t daughter whom you hearken for
Her father keeps from all access of suitors,
And will not promise her to any man
Until the elder sister first be wed:
The younger then is free and not before.
Tranio
If it be so, sir, that you are the man
Must stead us all and me amongst the rest,
And if you break the ice and do this feat,
Achieve the elder, set the younger free
For our access, whose hap shall be to have her
Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.
Hortensio
Sir, you say well and well you do conceive;
And since you do profess to be a suitor,
You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman,
To whom we all rest generally beholding.
Tranio
Sir, I shall not be slack: in sign whereof,
Please ye we may contrive this afternoon,
And quaff carouses to our mistress’ health,
And do as adversaries do in law,
Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.
Grumio
Biondello
O excellent motion! Fellows, let’s be gone.
Hortensio
The motion’s good indeed and be it so,
Petruchio, I shall be your ben venuto.
Exeunt
ACT II
SCENE I. PADUA. A ROOM IN BAPTISTA’S HOUSE.
Enter Katharina and Bianca
Bianca
Good sister, wrong me not, nor wrong yourself,
To make a bondmaid and a slave of me;
That I disdain: but for these other gawds,
Unbind my hands, I’ll pull them off myself,
Yea, all my raiment, to my petticoat;
Or what you will command me will I do,
So well I know my duty to my elders.
Katharina
Of all thy suitors, here I charge thee, tell
Whom thou lovest best: see thou dissemble not.
Bianca
Believe me, sister, of all the men alive
I never yet beheld that special face
Which I could fancy more than any other.
Katharina
Minion, thou liest. Is’t not Hortensio?
Bianca
If you affect him, sister, here I swear I’ll plead for you myself, but you shall have him.
Katharina
O then, belike, you fancy riches more:
You will have Gremio to keep you fair.
Bianca
Is it for him you do envy me so?
Nay then you jest, and now I well perceive
You have but jested with me all this while:
I prithee, sister Kate, untie my hands.
Katharina
If that be jest, then all the rest was so.
Strikes her
Enter Baptista
Baptista
Why, how now, dame! whence grows this insolence?
Bianca, stand aside. Poor girl! she weeps.
Go ply thy needle; meddle not with her.
For shame, thou helding of a devilish spirit,
Why dost thou wrong her that did ne’er wrong thee?
When did she cross thee with a bitter word?
Katharina
Her silence flouts me, and I’ll be revenged.
Flies after Bianca
Baptista
What, in my sight? Bianca, get thee in.
Exit Bianca
Katharina
What, will you not suffer me? Nay, now I see
She is your treasure, she must have a husband;
I must dance bare-foot on her wedding day
And for your love to her lead apes in hell.
Talk not to me: I will go sit and weep
Till I can find occasion of revenge.
Exit
Baptista
Was ever gentleman thus grieved as I?
But who comes here?
Enter Gremio, Lucentio in the habit of a mean man; Petruchio, with Hortensio as a musician; and Tranio, with Biondello bearing a lute and books
Gremio
Good morrow, neighbour Baptista.
Baptista
Good morrow, neighbour Gremio.
God save you, gentlemen!
Petruchio
And you, good sir! Pray, have you not a daughter
Call’d Katharina, fair and virtuous?
Baptista
I have a daughter, sir, called Katharina.
Gremio
You are too blunt: go to it orderly.
Petruchio
You wrong me, Signior Gremio: give me leave.
I am a gentleman of Verona, sir,
That, hearing of her beauty and her wit,
Her affability and bashful modesty,
Her wondrous qualities and mild behavior,
Am bold to show myself a forward guest
Within your house, to make mine eye the witness
Of that report which I so oft have heard.
And, for an entrance to my entertainment,
I do present you with a man of mine,
Presenting Hortensio
Cunning in music and the mathematics,
To instruct her fully in those sciences,
Whereof I know she is not ignorant:
Accept of him, or else you do me wrong:
His name is Licio, born in Mantua.
Baptista
You’re welcome, sir; and he, for your good sake.
But for my daughter Katharina, this I know,
She is not for your turn, the more my grief.
Petruchio
I see you do not mean to part with her,
Or else you like not of my company.
Baptista
Mistake me not; I speak but as I find.
Whence are you, sir? what may I call your name?
Petruchio
Petruchio is my name; Antonio’s son,
A man well known throughout all Italy.
Baptista
I know him well: you are welcome for his sake.
Gremio
Saving your tale, Petruchio, I pray,
Let us, that are poor petitioners, speak too:
Baccare! you are marvellous forward.
Petruchio
O, pardon me, Signior Gremio; I would fain be doing.
Gremio
I doubt it not, sir; but you will curse your wooing. Neighbour, this is a gift very grateful, I am sure of it. To express the like kindness, myself, that have been more kindly beholding to you than any, freely give unto you this young scholar,
Presenting Lucentio
that hath been long studying at Rheims; as cunning in Greek, Latin, and other languages, as the other in music and mathematics: his name is Cambio; pray, accept his service.
Baptista
A thousand thanks, Signior Gremio.
Welcome, good Cambio.
To Tranio
But, gentle sir, methinks you walk like a stranger: may I be so bold to know the cause of your coming?
Tranio
Pardon me, sir, the boldness is mine own,
That, being a stranger in this city here,
Do make myself a suitor to your daughter,
Unto Bianca, fair and virtuous.
Nor is your firm resolve unknown to me,
In the preferment of the eldest sister.
This liberty is all that I request,
That, upon knowledge of my parentage,
I may have welcome ’mongst the rest that woo
And free access and favo
ur as the rest:
And, toward the education of your daughters,
I here bestow a simple instrument,
And this small packet of Greek and Latin books:
If you accept them, then their worth is great.
Baptista
Lucentio is your name; of whence, I pray?
Tranio
Of Pisa, sir; son to Vincentio.
Baptista
A mighty man of Pisa; by report
I know him well: you are very welcome, sir,
Take you the lute, and you the set of books;
You shall go see your pupils presently.
Holla, within!
Enter a Servant
Sirrah, lead these gentlemen
To my daughters; and tell them both,
These are their tutors: bid them use them well.
Exit Servant, with Lucentio and Hortensio, Biondello following
We will go walk a little in the orchard,
And then to dinner. You are passing welcome,
And so I pray you all to think yourselves.
Petruchio
Signior Baptista, my business asketh haste,
And every day I cannot come to woo.
You knew my father well, and in him me,
Left solely heir to all his lands and goods,
Which I have better’d rather than decreased:
Then tell me, if I get your daughter’s love,
What dowry shall I have with her to wife?
Baptista
After my death the one half of my lands,
And in possession twenty thousand crowns.
Petruchio
And, for that dowry, I’ll assure her of
Her widowhood, be it that she survive me,
In all my lands and leases whatsoever:
Let specialties be therefore drawn between us,
That covenants may be kept on either hand.
Baptista
Ay, when the special thing is well obtain’d,
That is, her love; for that is all in all.
Petruchio
Why, that is nothing: for I tell you, father,
I am as peremptory as she proud-minded;
And where two raging fires meet together
They do consume the thing that feeds their fury:
Though little fire grows great with little wind,
Yet extreme gusts will blow out fire and all:
So I to her and so she yields to me;
For I am rough and woo not like a babe.
Baptista
Well mayst thou woo, and happy be thy speed!
But be thou arm’d for some unhappy words.
Petruchio
Ay, to the proof; as mountains are for winds,
That shake not, though they blow perpetually.
Re-enter Hortensio, with his head broke
Baptista
How now, my friend! why dost thou look so pale?
Hortensio
For fear, I promise you, if I look pale.
Baptista
What, will my daughter prove a good musician?
Hortensio
I think she’ll sooner prove a soldier
Complete Plays, The Page 325