Proteus
Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wreck,
Which cannot perish having thee aboard,
Being destined to a drier death on shore.
Exit Speed
I must go send some better messenger:
I fear my Julia would not deign my lines,
Receiving them from such a worthless post.
Exit
SCENE II. THE SAME. GARDEN OF JULIA’S HOUSE.
Enter JullA and Lucetta
Julia
But say, Lucetta, now we are alone,
Wouldst thou then counsel me to fall in love?
Lucetta
Ay, madam, so you stumble not unheedfully.
Julia
Of all the fair resort of gentlemen
That every day with parle encounter me,
In thy opinion which is worthiest love?
Lucetta
Please you repeat their names, I’ll show my mind
According to my shallow simple skill.
Julia
What think’st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour?
Lucetta
As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine;
But, were I you, he never should be mine.
Julia
What think’st thou of the rich Mercatio?
Lucetta
Well of his wealth; but of himself, so so.
Julia
What think’st thou of the gentle Proteus?
Lucetta
Lord, Lord! to see what folly reigns in us!
Julia
How now! what means this passion at his name?
Lucetta
Pardon, dear madam: ’tis a passing shame
That I, unworthy body as I am,
Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen.
Julia
Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest?
Lucetta
Then thus: of many good I think him best.
Julia
Your reason?
Lucetta
I have no other, but a woman’s reason;
I think him so because I think him so.
Julia
And wouldst thou have me cast my love on him?
Lucetta
Ay, if you thought your love not cast away.
Julia
Why he, of all the rest, hath never moved me.
Lucetta
Yet he, of all the rest, I think, best loves ye.
Julia
His little speaking shows his love but small.
Lucetta
Fire that’s closest kept burns most of all.
Julia
They do not love that do not show their love.
Lucetta
O, they love least that let men know their love.
Julia
I would I knew his mind.
Lucetta
Peruse this paper, madam.
Julia
‘To Julia.’ Say, from whom?
Lucetta
That the contents will show.
Julia
Say, say, who gave it thee?
Lucetta
Valentine’s page; and sent, I think, from Proteus.
He would have given it you; but I, being in the way,
Did in your name receive it: pardon the fault I pray.
Julia
Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker!
Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines?
To whisper and conspire against my youth?
Now, trust me, ’tis an office of great worth
And you an officer fit for the place.
Or else return no more into my sight.
Lucetta
To plead for love deserves more fee than hate.
Julia
Will ye be gone?
Lucetta
That you may ruminate.
Exit
Julia
And yet I would I had o’erlooked the letter:
It were a shame to call her back again
And pray her to a fault for which I chid her.
What a fool is she, that knows I am a maid,
And would not force the letter to my view!
Since maids, in modesty, say ‘no’ to that
Which they would have the profferer construe ‘ay.’
Fie, fie, how wayward is this foolish love
That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse
And presently all humbled kiss the rod!
How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence,
When willingly I would have had her here!
How angerly I taught my brow to frown,
When inward joy enforced my heart to smile!
My penance is to call Lucetta back
And ask remission for my folly past.
What ho! Lucetta!
Re-enter Lucetta
Lucetta
What would your ladyship?
Julia
Is’t near dinner-time?
Lucetta
I would it were,
That you might kill your stomach on your meat
And not upon your maid.
Julia
What is’t that you took up so gingerly?
Lucetta
Nothing.
Julia
Why didst thou stoop, then?
Lucetta
To take a paper up that I let fall.
Julia
And is that paper nothing?
Lucetta
Nothing concerning me.
Julia
Then let it lie for those that it concerns.
Lucetta
Madam, it will not lie where it concerns
Unless it have a false interpeter.
Julia
Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme.
Lucetta
That I might sing it, madam, to a tune.
Give me a note: your ladyship can set.
Julia
As little by such toys as may be possible.
Best sing it to the tune of ‘Light o’ love.’
Lucetta
It is too heavy for so light a tune.
Julia
Heavy! belike it hath some burden then?
Lucetta
Ay, and melodious were it, would you sing it.
Julia
And why not you?
Lucetta
I cannot reach so high.
Julia
Let’s see your song. How now, minion!
Lucetta
Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out:
And yet methinks I do not like this tune.
Julia
You do not?
Lucetta
No, madam; it is too sharp.
Julia
You, minion, are too saucy.
Lucetta
Nay, now you are too flat
And mar the concord with too harsh a descant:
There wanteth but a mean to fill your song.
Julia
The mean is drown’d with your unruly bass.
Lucetta
Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus.
Julia
This babble shall not henceforth trouble me.
Here is a coil with protestation!
Tears the letter
Go get you gone, and let the papers lie:
You would be fingering them, to anger me.
Lucetta
She makes it strange; but she would be best pleased
To be so anger’d with another letter.
Exit
Julia
Nay, would I were so anger’d with the same!
O hateful hands, to tear such loving words!
Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey
And kill the bees that yield it with your stings!
I’ll kiss each several paper for amends.
Look, here is writ ‘kind Julia.’ Unkind Julia!
As in revenge of thy ingratitude,
I t
hrow thy name against the bruising stones,
Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.
And here is writ ‘love-wounded Proteus.’
Poor wounded name! my bosom as a bed
Shall lodge thee till thy wound be thoroughly heal’d;
And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss.
But twice or thrice was ‘Proteus’ written down.
Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away
Till I have found each letter in the letter,
Except mine own name: that some whirlwind bear
Unto a ragged fearful-hanging rock
And throw it thence into the raging sea!
Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ,
‘Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,
To the sweet Julia:’ that I’ll tear away.
And yet I will not, sith so prettily
He couples it to his complaining names.
Thus will I fold them one on another:
Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.
Re-enter Lucetta
Lucetta
Madam,
Dinner is ready, and your father stays.
Julia
Well, let us go.
Lucetta
What, shall these papers lie like tell-tales here?
Julia
If you respect them, best to take them up.
Lucetta
Nay, I was taken up for laying them down:
Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold.
Julia
I see you have a month’s mind to them.
Lucetta
Ay, madam, you may say what sights you see;
I see things too, although you judge I wink.
Julia
Come, come; will’t please you go?
Exeunt
SCENE III. THE SAME. ANTONIO’S HOUSE.
Enter Antonio and Panthino
Antonio
Tell me, Panthino, what sad talk was that
Wherewith my brother held you in the cloister?
Panthino
’Twas of his nephew Proteus, your son.
Antonio
Why, what of him?
Panthino
He wonder’d that your lordship
Would suffer him to spend his youth at home,
While other men, of slender reputation,
Put forth their sons to seek preferment out:
Some to the wars, to try their fortune there;
Some to discover islands far away;
Some to the studious universities.
For any or for all these exercises,
He said that Proteus your son was meet,
And did request me to importune you
To let him spend his time no more at home,
Which would be great impeachment to his age,
In having known no travel in his youth.
Antonio
Nor need’st thou much importune me to that
Whereon this month I have been hammering.
I have consider’d well his loss of time
And how he cannot be a perfect man,
Not being tried and tutor’d in the world:
Experience is by industry achieved
And perfected by the swift course of time.
Then tell me, whither were I best to send him?
Panthino
I think your lordship is not ignorant
How his companion, youthful Valentine,
Attends the emperor in his royal court.
Antonio
I know it well.
Panthino
’Twere good, I think, your lordship sent him thither:
There shall he practise tilts and tournaments,
Hear sweet discourse, converse with noblemen.
And be in eye of every exercise
Worthy his youth and nobleness of birth.
Antonio
I like thy counsel; well hast thou advised:
And that thou mayst perceive how well I like it,
The execution of it shall make known.
Even with the speediest expedition
I will dispatch him to the emperor’s court.
Panthino
To-morrow, may it please you, Don Alphonso,
With other gentlemen of good esteem,
Are journeying to salute the emperor
And to commend their service to his will.
Antonio
Good company; with them shall Proteus go:
And, in good time! now will we break with him.
Enter Proteus
Proteus
Sweet love! sweet lines! sweet life!
Here is her hand, the agent of her heart;
Here is her oath for love, her honour’s pawn.
O, that our fathers would applaud our loves,
To seal our happiness with their consents!
O heavenly Julia!
Antonio
How now! what letter are you reading there?
Proteus
May’t please your lordship, ’tis a word or two
Of commendations sent from Valentine,
Deliver’d by a friend that came from him.
Antonio
Lend me the letter; let me see what news.
Proteus
There is no news, my lord, but that he writes
How happily he lives, how well beloved
And daily graced by the emperor;
Wishing me with him, partner of his fortune.
Antonio
And how stand you affected to his wish?
Proteus
As one relying on your lordship’s will
And not depending on his friendly wish.
Antonio
My will is something sorted with his wish.
Muse not that I thus suddenly proceed;
For what I will, I will, and there an end.
I am resolved that thou shalt spend some time
With Valentinus in the emperor’s court:
What maintenance he from his friends receives,
Like exhibition thou shalt have from me.
To-morrow be in readiness to go:
Excuse it not, for I am peremptory.
Proteus
My lord, I cannot be so soon provided:
Please you, deliberate a day or two.
Antonio
Look, what thou want’st shall be sent after thee:
No more of stay! to-morrow thou must go.
Come on, Panthino: you shall be employ’d
To hasten on his expedition.
Exeunt Antonio and Panthino
Proteus
Thus have I shunn’d the fire for fear of burning,
And drench’d me in the sea, where I am drown’d.
I fear’d to show my father Julia’s letter,
Lest he should take exceptions to my love;
And with the vantage of mine own excuse
Hath he excepted most against my love.
O, how this spring of love resembleth
The uncertain glory of an April day,
Which now shows all the beauty of the sun,
And by and by a cloud takes all away!
Re-enter Panthino
Panthino
Sir Proteus, your father calls for you:
He is in haste; therefore, I pray you to go.
Proteus
Why, this it is: my heart accords thereto,
And yet a thousand times it answers ‘no.’
Exeunt
ACT II
SCENE I. MILAN. THE DUKE’S PALACE.
Enter Valentine and Speed
Speed
Sir, your glove.
Valentine
Not mine; my gloves are on.
Speed
Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
Valentine
Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it’s mine:
Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
Ah, Silvia, Silvia!
Speed
Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!
Valentine
How now, sirrah?
Speed
She is not within hearing, sir.
Valentine
Why, sir, who bade you call her?
Speed
Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.
Valentine
Well, you’ll still be too forward.
Speed
And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
Valentine
Go to, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?
Speed
She that your worship loves?
Valentine
Why, how know you that I am in love?
Speed
Marry, by these special marks: first, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms, like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.
Valentine
Are all these things perceived in me?
Speed
They are all perceived without ye.
Valentine
Without me? they cannot.
Speed
Without you? nay, that’s certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would: but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you and shine through you like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.
Valentine
But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?
Speed
She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
Valentine
Hast thou observed that? even she, I mean.
Speed
Why, sir, I know her not.
Valentine
Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet knowest her not?
Speed
Is she not hard-favoured, sir?
Valentine
Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.
Speed
Sir, I know that well enough.
Valentine
What dost thou know?
Speed
That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.
Valentine
I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.
Speed
That’s because the one is painted and the other out of all count.
Valentine
How painted? and how out of count?
Speed
Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.
Valentine
How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty.
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