Death Fugue

by Sheng Keyi

  ‘You know Yuyue, right?’ He knew this was rather roundabout.

  ‘Yes. She has very exotic genes. The government can’t find a match for her genetic data.’

  ‘Her mother went into the nursing home a few years ago, and she has never gone to visit her. She said her mother often writes…’ He frowned, remembering the white smoke from the chimney. ‘I wonder if she didn’t die long ago.’

  ‘Hm. There are all sorts of talented people there, so it’s entirely possible there are ghostwriters too. But from such attention to detail, you can see that the nursing home must be a warm, humane place.’

  He had no answer for that, given that her thinking and his on this issue were so much at odds. But he wanted to continue talking, and felt obliged to engage her, to clarify the situation for himself.

  ‘You remember the waste disposal site?’

  She finished the milk, her expression showing that she was satisfied now and ready for battle. ‘All the flawed, rejected babies are discarded there…’

  Though her words only confirmed what he already suspected, they made his heart thump. ‘I understand now, altering the quality of people by starting with the genes…I just don’t know what to say…’ He reached into his pocket. Perhaps it was time to talk to her about what was in the letter.

  ‘He will hold on.’ She patted her stomach optimistically.

  ‘I want to show you a letter,’ Mengliu said. ‘Maybe you will feel it is all nonsense…’

  ‘If you’ve got something to say, go ahead. Why did you have to write?’ Her tone indicated that she was thinking, There’s nothing new under the sun.

  ‘I didn’t write it. I don’t even know the person who did. He died recently.’

  ‘You think reading a letter from a dead person you didn’t know is good for the baby?’ She was a little harsh, as if she didn’t care about anything except what she carried in her belly.

  Hesitatingly, he took his hand out of his pocket. He thought she had a point. Sharing the contents of the letter, which had nothing to do with her child, with a pregnant woman, could be a bit dangerous and might be met with disdain. From his experience with Rania, he knew that pregnancy could make a woman a little slow, mentally, as if she had turned into a primitive female animal.

  ‘Well…okay,’ he said. ‘I will make an exception and read a poem for him instead…it was written in Round Square a long time ago by my friend Hei Chun.’

  The fire crackled busily. He reached out his hand, warming it for a moment in front of the fire. He noticed that her eyes had suddenly lit up.

  Standing by the fireside, he recited the poem.

  autumn has come

  I am in this wheat field

  and you are in that

  the poor children are looking for fruit

  the fields are covered with scars

  inflicted by their torturer

  I have brought a porcelain bowl

  to collect the blood that won’t sleep

  I believe only in the night

  the sins of darkness and its wounds

  unhealed, even after many years

  a child wanders on the outside

  waiting for the snow to melt

  from his mother’s forehead

  he drives his dagger into the salt

  you live at the bottom of a stagnant lake

  I have come to the end of my journey

  while you smile, guarding the fire

  in a time of confusion, let me die as I wish

  in a sweet embrace

  leaving a black seed behind

  18

  Mengliu went to see Yuyue to get her input on the question of soaking a child in alcohol and its surviving. As she skipped a piece of ice across the surface of the river, she answered him, saying that it was something no one could answer with any certainty. In short, she was not very optimistic. The ice danced on the surface of the water twice before disappearing. Yuyue said his question had compromised her level of effectiveness. He then asked for examples of survivors. Having already chosen a better-shaped piece of ice, she faced the river and arced her arm overhead. The ice hit the water with a dink dink dink dink, creating a row of ripples. She gave herself a thumbs up, in celebration of the joy of victory. She criticised him for sticking his nose in other people’s affairs, and asked what business it was of his whether other people’s children survived. When she finished, she glanced at him contemptuously and said, ‘You don’t have that kind of courage!’

  He heard the provocation in her words, surrounded by the desolate, snow-covered landscape. If he were just to casually press her down to the snow-covered ground, he could change her perspective, and convince her of his superiority. But he was in no hurry to prove anything. He locked eyes with her for a full minute, as if using infra-red rays to make her transparent. A jackal would rather eat carrion than starve, but for a fresh piece of meat he was patient enough to play with his prey.

  ‘Look at it from another perspective. Say you encounter the sort of thing Su Juli is facing…it would be hard enough to bear.’ His attitude was like that of an elder. ‘Of course I would be worried about you too, and I would help you think of a way to abort the problem.’ As he spoke, another thought flashed into his mind. ‘Yuyue, you are very clever. Tell me honestly, if this were happening to you, what would you do?’

  ‘Um, let me think…when the time came, I would make a civet cat take the place of the prince.’

  ‘No, that would be wicked. Moreover, every child is a national treasure. And where would you find a civet now that they’ve all been killed to save us from disease?’

  ‘Well, you could consider hiding, or go into the mountains and give birth there.’ She was a little proud. ‘The law does not mention this, so there’s a loophole.’

  He felt enlightened as he listened. You should engage in a game of hide-and-seek with the government. You should not have to witness them killing a child. When things had blown over, you could come back. It could be done, one step at a time.

  Having such frequent contact with Yuyue, Mengliu’s understanding of and trust in her had deepened. He felt she was the most clear-headed person in Swan Valley. She was calm, rebellious and spoke clearly and logically. Occasionally she relied on the uniqueness of her genetic disposition to act without restraint. When she gave a backward kick like a mule, nobody could resist her power. Even Michael, the head of the hospital, seemed a little afraid of her, and was always careful not to provoke her.

  Yuyue had both brains and beauty, she was a really stunning woman. Mengliu praised her. She was unceremonious in accepting his praise.

  ‘Do you believe every child we would have together would be a genius?’ she said, laughing. She put on her cashmere gloves. ‘But I don’t want to have a child. I don’t like children. You see the relationship between me and my mother is…so distant. Anyway, I don’t want to be a reproductive machine.’

  ‘But, Yuyue, there are some things no one can defy. One day that official red letter will come to you, then you’ll…’

  ‘I’ll jump off a ledge!’ she unzipped her down coat. ‘I take it off and put it on…When it comes to my body, I am likewise master of myself.’

  Mengliu snorted with a laugh, obviously indicating that he thought she was terribly naive. She did not understand that the ‘self’ was never free in Swan Valley. It didn’t even exist.

  She knew he didn’t believe her. Raising her trouser leg, she knocked her right shin a couple of times. It sounded like hard rubber. ‘My jumping skills were not very good. I survived, but my leg did not. Damn…’ She laughed cheerfully, into the wind, her face especially fair and clear. ‘I was only seventeen at the time, pure and noble…The next time they tried to force me into a marriage, I took poison…then I fell in love with a man, but he chose the fucking red letter, just like you. I understand you both. You see, I’m still intact, right? No one bothers me now. I used death to fight for my freedom. Don’t say I don’t understand it as well as you.’
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  She spoke happily. He was shocked. When he came to himself, he found that she was already in his arms, and his arms and her body were welded fast together. He was not quite sure how they came to embrace one another. He touched her neck, which had the fragrance and light glow of fresh snow. For the first time, his hands discovered the real feeling of hair that was smooth as silk. She was a young girl, as dazzling as sunlight on the snow. He felt that if he whispered in her ear, she would blow away, like a petal carried off by a running stream. His kiss would defile her, like a dirty streak across the whiteness of the snow. So he just held her, frozen in stillness. He just held her, like the wind brushing a cloud, as if he were holding the hidden secret of spring, a sprouting seed, a river through the mountains, like holding time, like holding his past and present self. He felt the heat of his body warming the surrounding cold air, like an unsullied flower blooming in the middle of a pond.

  After a while, as if she had been asleep on his bosom, Yuyue rubbed her eyes. Then she left him, as if she was getting up from a sofa, lifting her face slightly to see the river disappearing around a bend in the distance.

  ‘Tell me, will I ever meet the person who is willing to die with me?’ She turned to face him.

  ‘Why do you want to die for love? You should think about how to live happily with the person you love.’ He was especially good at reasoning out such things, he didn’t need to think about it at all. ‘Of course, it’s more difficult to figure out how to live than how to die, and much more valuable.’

  ‘Really? I think it depends on the way you live and the way you die. I mean…’ she paused and looked up at the snow on the tree, ‘death at the guillotine of freedom is valuable.’

  He very much agreed with what she said. But he had lost the ability to express such things, and he didn’t know how to respond to her. She shook the branches of the tree then quickly ran away, so that the snow dropped on him. She stood laughing on the side. This was how their serious conversation would end.

  ‘Have any more people died at the hospital these past few days?’ He changed the subject, suddenly recalling the matter of the infectious disease. ‘Was it “just the flu”?’

  ‘A dozen more have been admitted, one has died, and a couple are in a critical condition. Also, a nurse has been infected. She collapsed, and died a few hours later. It’s incurable. The hospital staff is running round in circles right now.’ Yuyue picked up a frozen leaf, and stripped the ice from it, leaving the leaf imprint on the ice. She shut one eye, and looked at him through the ice-leaf with the other. ‘We stopped short of wearing gas masks. Gowns, surgical masks, shoe covers, gloves…anyone who didn’t know better would think we were a biochemical team. Michael reported the situation to the higher-ups in Swan Valley. I heard that they are sending out their top medical experts.’

  He had become a weird shadow through the ice, moving oddly. ‘The most critical thing right now is to inform the people, instruct them to stay at home and take preventive measures. As much as possible, they should not go out, so that we can reduce the spread of the infection and prevent an epidemic. Otherwise, the situation will be even more difficult to control in the future.’ He spoke flatly. His heart wasn’t in what he said.

  ‘The higher-ups have already enacted provisions stating that we cannot broadcast these things. In fact, we aren’t allowed to say how many people have died, out of fear that this would cause a panic. To destroy the perfect image of the present, that will be hard to salvage.’ Yuyue threw the ice into the river. He noticed here was a flaw in the way her leg moved during the course of this activity. He felt guilty for noticing, as if he were responsible. ‘Michael, the deputy director, and the heads of the various departments were taken to a government building for a meeting. They came back and conveyed the spirit of the meeting to all of us “grassroots comrades”. What a joke! They had learned the art of spinning and bluffing. Damn!’ She looked as if she completely understood why things were this way. Her laughter flew to the sky like dandelion seeds, but the stem remained on the ground, standing gracefully.

  Her laughter almost sent him to the sky as well. She was more to his liking all the time. ‘Conceal the epidemic? Paper can’t contain a fire. This is probably the stupidest decision Swan Valley has ever made.’

  ‘Let them do what they want.’ She stepped on the snow, letting it crunch beneath her feet. ‘“The only regret I will have in dying is if it isn’t for love” – that’s from a novel, Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s Love in the Time of Cholera.’

  When he had read Marquez, those words hadn’t made any emotional impact on him, but now he felt as if a knife had pierced his heart. It was on account of Qizi.

  ‘Just don’t die because of the plague.’ He did not want to get entangled in the question of love and death. ‘Do you dare to go with me to the nursing home? If there really is an outbreak of some plague, that might be the safest place. Let’s at least go and familiarise ourselves with it.’ He was trying to rally her to his side.

  ‘I’m not going. I’m staying at the hospital. If I can’t die for love, I’ll die for altruistic reasons,’ she replied perfunctorily.

  Mengliu took the letter from his pocket. He had carried it with him constantly. ‘Do you want to read this?’

  ‘A love letter?’

  ‘Something like that,’ he joked.

  Yuyue took it, making as if she were viewing a piece of art.

  Mengliu had read it countless times. He even remembered the punctuation clearly, and could recite the whole thing by heart.

  ‘I’m sorry, but I have to tell you a harsh reality. The truth is, you are living in a sheltered society where the truth is hidden. Our happiness is a lie. Our fermented tea contains chemical substances that will slowly wash your mind clean of the memory of your past, your motherland and all your relatives. Then you will come to identify with everything here, and you will be at her mercy. The nursing home is an execution ground for the elderly. Living people are thrown into ovens, as if they were burning pieces of wood. Please break open the gate of the nursing home and have a look inside. You will find no one there, only ghosts.’

  ‘If this is true, I’m not the least bit surprised.’ Yuyue finished reading the letter very quickly, and her reaction was muted. ‘In Swan Valley, everything is possible. I have thought before that my mother must be dead. If not, she would have found a way to come out for a breath of air.’ He did not know whether this was what she really thought. Something in her tone made him think she didn’t believe it, and he wondered whether he should continue discussing the matter with her.

  ‘I’ll go with you to see her now, then at least we’ll know the situation clearly,’ he said.

  ‘It’s no use. I’ve been there many times. There’s only a cable car to the nursing home.’

  ‘It sounds like a military base,’ Mengliu said. Anyway, we have to find a way in…’

  ‘Only if you turn into a bird.’

  ‘You said that all things are possible…and we are highly intelligent.’

  ‘The analytical data of those stupid machines makes everyone think he or she is special. Even you are confused.’

  ‘But you really are special.’

  ‘Oh, I’ve got it…’ Yuyue suddenly grew excited. ‘Michael is retiring and next month he will go to the nursing home. On the eighth the cable car will come, and we…’ She stared at his bloodshot, sluggish eyes, as if she were ready to hold his shoulders and shake him awake.

  He marvelled secretly at her imagination, how her thought and his had coincided so perfectly.

  ‘But, what if we get in and then can’t get back out? We need to let someone know…’ As she went on, it was clear her mind was racing. ‘We need to find a couple more people.’ She was completely immersed in her own thoughts. He listened to her calm analysis, as if she were going through the stages of a game, overcoming difficulties along the way, and getting straight to the heart of the matter. In her narration, they were highly skilled martial arts warri
ors. They had become the Condor Heroes, and with the great rapport between them, they would settle every difficulty that lay before them.

  She was, after all, an experienced young woman. When she started to depart from reality in her imagination, a light flooded from her face. He wanted to touch her satin black hair and porcelain skin, to put her into a love cradle, and to hum a lullaby to soothe her into a sweet, deep sleep. He reminded her that the adventure could endanger their lives, but she brushed this off contemptuously.

  At that moment the sun extinguished itself like a burnt-out fire, and they grew a little colder.

  19

  The hospital now looked like an over-inflated balloon which was about to explode. It was so overcrowded that the patients and non-patients mingled together. There were even people sleeping in the entrances to the washrooms. There weren’t enough beds, the medication was stretched thin, and there was confusion everywhere. Some people resorted to unscrupulous methods to get a bed, pulling out the patients’ tubes or blocking their noses, helping those who needed it to go on their way to a speedier death, and those who had the chance, to meet death immediately. Some tried their seductive charms on Michael, and even the general practitioners had to put on a stern front, so as to deter anyone from getting too close. Then visits were prohibited. People were quarantined without knowing why. Yuyue described it as like being in a silent war. The doctors would not say a word more than was necessary. Some doctors who had a more aggressive nature protested in secret, which resulted first in a yellow warning, then in a black threat, then a red education, and then, dejected finally, they would shut up. Before the arrival of the expert medical team, no one was qualified to diagnose the infectious disease definitively or announce the deaths, but rumours spread like wildfire. People hoarded food and medication in their panic, hoping they were just rumours as they awaited the official announcement.