“I ran into my room and took my phone, prepared to tell my dad what was going on, but she burst in and stopped me. She begged me to reconsider, saying she’d do anything if I didn’t tell. I was just a stupid boy. She’s standing in my room naked, what the hell was I supposed to do?”
“That night she kissed me, and not the way a mother should kiss her son. After that I kept her secret.”
“It wasn’t until I turned seventeen that things got out of hand. For my birthday she took me over to one of her friends house. They got me drunk and seduced me. I’d just turned seventeen and was sleeping with three women at the same time. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to. After that I was at her beck and call. She had me by the balls. I knew if I told anyone she’d cut me off. It went on for years, Macy. I’ve probably fucked that woman more than my father has.”
Macy backs away and sits on my bed. She’s rendered speechless by my confession and I’m not even at the worst part yet. “Jesus, that’s disgusting.”
I kneel in front of her and take her hands. “That’s not all.”
“Tell me he divorced her.”
“Not exactly. He filed. They were separated for ten years, but when he got sick he took her back. That’s when I decided to blackmail her.”
“You blackmailed her? For what? Why not just tell your father?”
I have to turn away as I say it. “Because I wanted something else more.”
“Ben, what was it?”
My throat is burning. This is the moment I’m going to lose her, but I can’t live with knowing she could find out from someone else. “You.”
Macy is backing away from me. “What? That’s ridiculous.”
I’m following her. “From the moment you walked into the firm I knew I had to have you. Dad didn’t want to hire someone right out of college on account of me still being new, but I pushed him to give you a chance.”
“I’m still not following you.”
“Well, having you work at the firm wasn’t enough. When I discovered you were married I made it my mission to convince you to sleep with me. At first you were adamant that it would never happen, but when you were having marriage troubles and you needed someone to talk to I made sure you saw the right doctor.”
This is where her eyes light up. “No.”
I hold up a picture of my step-mother. “I only asked her to plant the seed. I didn’t know you were already struggling with feelings for me. Once I learned that it only fueled me to push harder.”
“What else?” She’s demanding. “What else don’t I know?”
“I’ve seen your medical records.”
“What?” She runs her hands over her face. “This isn’t happening.”
“Macy,” I say as I reach for her.
She jerks out of my hold. “Don’t you dare touch me.” She pauses. “Is that it?”
I sigh. I can’t keep anything from her, not now. “I’m able to read your emails, but I can see every everyone’s at the firm if I need to.”
She bends over like she can’t steady herself.
“I’m sorry. Back then you were just a conquest. I didn’t know you like I do now.”
She’s rushing into the bathroom, and as I follow I see she’s gathering her clothing and dressing. “I can’t look at you, Ben.”
“Please, don’t go.”
“If you think I’m going to stay here with you you’re crazy. I can’t begin to know what to say to you.”
I throw up my hands as she ambles by. I knew this was how it would end. I feared this outcome, but as it unfolds I know nothing can take back what I’ve stolen from her.
Right before she’s out of sight she spins around. “So let me get this straight. You’ve been fucking your stepmother since you were a teenager, and not just that, but you blackmailed her into giving you my medical files, my personal files, and then to persuade me to screw you? You went through my emails and spied on me. Is there anything else?”
I shake my head. “But now the bitch is screwing me over. She said my dad is leaving the firm to her. I know you don’t care. I asked her to stop seeing you. I told her to tell you she couldn’t have you as a patient any longer.”
Her nostrils are flaring. I’ve never seen her this angry.
She storms out, slamming the front door as she goes.
When I reach the top of the stairs James comes over and hands me a glass full of bourbon while lifting another up to his lips. “She’s a spitfire.”
“That she is, my friend, and I’m pretty sure I just fucked up any chance of keeping her around.”
He pats me on the shoulder. “You still have me.”
“You’re not a good consolation prize.”
“Should I call some of the girls? It’s still early.”
The thought almost makes me cringe. “No. This ache can’t be soothed with sex.”
“Damn. Tell me I’m not seeing it. Tell me the elusive Bennington Winthrop hasn’t thrown in the towel for a straight life.”
I clench my jaw and stare out the front window, praying she’ll come back down the driveway, though it doesn’t happen. “She’s worth it.”
Chapter 27
Macy
My toes are in the sand as the next wave comes up and teases them. The beach is where I ended up driving to the day after I walked out of Ben’s life. My heart is broken, but at the same time I feel a sense of relief. A part of my life is over. I’m finally able to let go of the regret I feel for Frank. Last night he and I finally had a normal conversation. He admitted we weren’t ever right for each other, and that he was sorry for blaming me for everything that went wrong. He even gave me the name of a doctor in California who might be able to help me in the future.
I’ve been submitting my resume to several different firms in the area, but I’m not sure Ben will provide me with a recommendation. He’s tried to call a couple times. His name shows up on my caller screen, but he hangs up without giving me the chance to decide if I’ll be able to hear his voice.
Even though he wedged himself into my life I don’t regret where we ended up. I didn’t fall in love with Ben because he made me, or due to the fact that my doctor planted some seed. I already felt something for Ben when I went to her. All that happened between us was because I wanted it to. I knew from the beginning that he would bend the law for what he wanted. He may have invaded my privacy, but it was only to know me. He was searching for a sliver of hope that he could break down my walls.
I’ve spent the past few days imagining my life without him. I think about how I’ve changed in the past few months, and how he’s been a big part of it of the last half. He may not have succeeded with making me feel like I was invincible, but he certainly showed me how to be independent. My life is mine. I’m in control of everything that happens, and knowing that puts me ahead of the game.
During this time away I’ve also thought about the last encounter. James was gentle with me, while Ben was protective. He couldn’t begin to know what I was thinking when another man was giving me satisfaction. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it. I may have enjoyed it too much. Most of all the best part was knowing I was able to be everything Ben needed. I meant it when I mouthed the words to him. I love Ben. It’s not going to change because I’m hurt and angry. I’m a fool if I think it will go away with distance or time. He’s everything I never knew I wanted. He may want to change for me, but I’ve done the same for him.
I just don’t know if the betrayal can be forgiven.
I wipe off my hands and stand up. The wind is strong and a light mist is coming off of each wave as it crashes to shore. I pick up my shoes and tap the loose sand away before walking toward the beach house.
When I’m back indoors I open my laptop and stare at the copy of the non-disclosure agreement Ben had me sign. I’d promised to keep our affairs a secret, but it doesn’t seem right. This document is only written to secure my job remains at the firm.
He mentioned Dr. Madison might be taking the firm
from him. That’s his birthright. He’s followed in his father’s footsteps only to lose everything because of a conniving bitch that used her power to control a boy and turn him into a monster. Even if Ben never knows the truth, I have to do something to help him.
My ride back to town isn’t without tears. I miss him. It’s hard to picture a life without him in it, because for so long it’s all I ever imagined. When I pull up at the hospital I search for Ben’s vehicle, and then Dr. Madison’s. I need to know she’s not going to be there and cause a fuss. She doesn’t know I’m aware of her part in all of this.
After signing into the visitor log, and double-checking her name isn’t there, I take the elevator to the floor he’s being kept on. The smell of bleach and alcohol fills my nose as the doors open. I’m guided in the right direction by one of the attending nurses and finally come to the last door on the left. Behind these doors is a man I once admired. I’d always assumed he’d given me the opportunity to work at the firm, but now I know it was Ben’s push that made it happen. I take in a deep breath and walk in.
He’s hooked up to a lot of monitors, but watching television and awake as I enter. “Mr. Winthrop. Just the man I came to see.” I flash him a cheerful smile, even though this meeting won’t be a happy one.
“Macy Stone. What brings you in to see me? Is something wrong at the firm?”
“No, sir. Ben is doing a fine job running things.”
“Good. I didn’t doubt his capabilities.”
I hold onto the bed rails as I speak. “That’s actually why I’m here. Some information has been brought to my attention and I’m afraid I might be the only person who can make a difference.”
“I don’t know how much help I’ll be. They’re giving me a couple days at that.” He begins coughing until he gets himself winded. A nurse comes in and turns up his oxygen. I’m not real sure what’s killing the man, and I’m too nice to ask. It’s none of my business.
“Sir, I.” I have to stop. I don’t know how to come out with the truth. “I’m in love with your son.”
He manages an attempt at a laugh. “I’m sure that makes him happy. He’s had his eyes on you for a long time.”
“Yeah, so I hear. That’s not the reason I’ve come to see you today. There’s something I need to tell you, but I’m not sure you’ll be strong enough to hear it.”
Just as I’m about to spill the beans I see Dr. Madison walking in the room with a bag of food in her hand. Her eyes light up when she sees me and I can tell she’s freaking out inside. It makes me smile, because I know I have the upper hand.
She tries to play it off. “Can I help you?”
“No. I only stopped by the see Mr. Winthrop.” Pretending we don’t know each other is easier on me. I lean down into the old man’s ear and deliver the truth that Ben refuses to reveal. As soon as I’m finished I kiss him on the cheek and start to bolt from the room, up until I feel his fragile hand grabbing mine. I turn to see his eyes full of tears. He nods and I manage the best smile under the circumstances. “I’ll take care of Ben. I promise.”
Dr. Madison follows me into the hallway. “Macy, I should explain.”
“No need. Ben told me everything, you sick bitch.”
“Everything.”
“Yeah,” I’m speaking loud so nurses passing by can hear me. She deserves this. “I know you slept with your seventeen year old step-son and involved him in actions he was too young to comprehend. You’re a monster. I just hope that when that man takes his last breath you’re nowhere near him.”
I storm out of the hospital and head to my car, where it takes me a good thirty minutes to stop shaking. I’m not one for confrontations, but that bitch had it coming.
My next stop is somewhere I should have gone first. I know he’s there, and I’m praying he’s alone. My greatest fear would be to pull up and discover he’s with someone else, though I know it’s in his nature to do so.
Only Ben’s car sits in the driveway. I walk up the front sidewalk expecting him to come to the door to greet me, but he doesn’t. I knock a few times and finally hear the click of the lock. The person who answers the door is unrecognizable. “Macy?”
“Ben, you look like shit.”
“Yeah, well I haven’t much felt like getting out of bed lately. I only do it to go to the hospital with my father.”
“What about work? Have you been home since I left?” I follow him into the kitchen where he leans over the counter to face me. He’s almost growing a full beard. His hair needs to be trimmed, and his eyes look like he’s been at Woodstock for week. He takes a bite of a sandwich I hope isn’t days old. “Why are you here?”
“It’s time we talked.”
“I know you hate me. I hate myself. You didn’t have to come here to say it. I’ll be back in the office on Monday. I just wanted some personal time to sort things out. My dad has a couple days left.”
“So you’ve been to see him?”
He shrugs. “A few times. I usually go at night when she’s not there.”
I don’t tell him I’ve been there. He seems too fragile to accept it as anything but an intrusion. In a lot of ways it makes us even, except I let the cat of the bag because I love him.
“I’m sorry for leaving the way I did.”
“You had every right to.”
I reach my hand across the counter and place it over his. “I miss you.” I finally see hope in his eyes. “I’m still mad. What you did was beyond wrong, but it didn’t get you anywhere with me. My decision to be with you wasn’t because my doctor told me to. I came to you because it’s what I wanted. Everything that got us to this point is because I made the effort.”
“I don’t want to be a man you can’t trust.”
“Then prove it to me. Be with me. Love me. Let me teach you what it feels like to be loved by someone completely. Let me show you how happy we could be together. Trust in me.”
He nods. “What if I fuck up?”
“Be honest about it beforehand. If it comes to that we’ll figure it out, but it has to be as a couple. When you hurt I want to pick up the pieces. When I’m sad I need you to hold me until the pain goes away. We have to be a team. I want to be the person you confide in.”
He walks around the counter and puts his hands in the pockets of his shorts. “Love hurts.”
I pull him into my arms and hold him tight. “I know it does.”
He’s sobbing, and I’m sure it’s not all because of me. He’s losing his father, and before I walked in the door he was doing his best to cope with knowing they had no relationship left. It’s up to me to change that.
“I don’t deserve you.”
I wipe away the tears like he did for me. “I won’t tell anyone I saw you cry. That’s my first promise.”
A half-smile forms on his face. “Yeah, they all think I can’t be broken.”
“You’re human.”
“I’m weak. Everything happened at once.”
“That’s how it works,” I tell him. “Now, this is what’s going to happen next. You’re going to shave that face and change into something presentable. First we’ll stop by the hospital and you’ll spend some one and one time with your father. Then we’ll head to the office where you’ll make a company wide announcement of our involvement so we no longer have to hide our relationship.”
“Do I have a say in this?”
I shake my head. “No. I think its time someone else takes charge.”
“And you think you’re the right person for the job?”
“I know I am. Someone has to keep you in line to run the firm.”
“You’re forgetting one thing. The minute my dad stops breathing it’s not my firm.”
“I have a feeling you’re wrong. Just wait it out. No matter what I’ll be by your side. If we have to start our own firm we will do it together.”
He picks me up before I can continue. His lips find mine and he devours me with a ravenous kiss. When we pull apart I’m staring into his beauti
ful hazel eyes. “This is all I want – to be wherever you are,” he confesses.
Epilogue
Ben
My father passed away the week after Macy came back to me. She was a blessing, holding my hand through the whole process. He’d prearranged his burial, so all we had to do was make some calls.
The next few days were a blur. I had a ton of regrets. I’d never be able to tell him the truth. He’d never know why I couldn’t be around.
I can’t remember ever crying, not even when my mother died. I held in my feelings and did things to occupy my time until the pain subsided.
Macy changed that for me. There was no choice in the matter. Once she had my heart I was a goner.
Four days after my father’s death Macy started moving some of her things into my place. Since we had two sets of everything we filled the downstairs guest room ceiling high with her extra furniture. I wouldn’t be needing the room as long as she was there.
It wasn’t until the reading of the will when I finally felt the depths of her love. We were sitting at the table across from my stepmother. Macy’s hand is intertwined with mine. We listen as the company lawyer reads off the list of my father’s assets and then delivers the news.
The property located in Pensacola Florida goes to my wife. The rest of the estate, including the firm and all the finances are to be left to my only son, Bennington.
When I turn to celebrate with Macy I can tell she doesn’t seem surprised. It isn’t until we’re in the car when I ask why. “How did you know?”
She smiles and brings my hand up to her lips. “You couldn’t tell him, but I refused to let him die thinking you didn’t love and respect him. I did what you couldn’t, Ben. I did what should have been done a long time ago.”
This catches me off guard. I pull away from her and face out the window to think about what this involves. “When?”
“About an hour before I came back to you.”
“What did he say?”
Bound (Seven Year Itch) Page 17