“I whispered it to him. He never responded, but when I looked into his eyes I knew he appreciated it.”
It takes me a few minutes to relax. “Why?”
“I couldn’t let you lose everything to her. She took enough from you.”
My eyes stare helplessly into hers. “Thank you.”
She’s smiling, eating up the idea of us building a future together. This is what it feels like. This is what she was fighting to show me. At times it may hurt, but I wouldn’t give it up. “I’d do anything for you. Anything.”
I let out a chuckle. “Yeah, I have a good idea of the lengths you’re willing to go. Just so you know, I’d do the same for you. I’ve spent my whole life getting what I want, but now it’s going to be about you. Whatever you want I’ll get it for you. There are no limits.”
“I just want this, with you, Ben. I want your heart.”
“I love you. That’s free.”
“The best things in life are. Don’t worry. I’ll show you.”
“I bet you will.”
Three years later…
Ben
“How much longer?”
“Mr. Winthrop your wife will be out momentarily,” a nurse says to me before going back into the room.
I’m pacing the floor, waiting to see Macy. This is stressful, but not as hard as going through the treatments and the failures. We went to two different fertility clinics before we found one who could work with Macy’s medical condition. We’ve been traveling to California for the past few months to prepare for this. We know it might not work, but neither of us want to give up. This is the next step. If it doesn’t happen we’ll find a surrogate or adopt. I’ll do anything to give her a child, even if we can’t make one together.
I hear the heavy door opening and see her smiling face. The doctor walks out with her. He’s handing her a bottle of medication and going over some details. They both come to stand in front of me. “So?”
“We think at least two took. We won’t know right away, but we’re hopeful.”
“We might be pregnant?” I direct the question to her, because I’m too elated to comprehend I’m hearing this right.
She nods. “It’s possible.”
I pull her into my arms and extend my hand to the doctor. “Thank you.” She’s been through two surgeries to repair damage with hopes that one day this would finally be a possibility.
“Don’t thank me yet. The first treatment sometimes doesn’t work. It’s common to have to repeat the steps a couple times before we’re successful.” We already know that from trying before. This isn’t our first rodeo. It’s a step in the right direction. There is way for us to be parents of our own child. We’re not greedy. We just want one healthy little baby that we can love. We’ve taken all the necessary steps. We’ve considered all the options. I just need this to work. I need her to be able to have this one thing she always thought would never be possible. I don’t give up. No matter what it takes I always get what I want.
Three weeks later we get the news we’ve been waiting for. Macy is pregnant. Only one took, but as long as she can get through the first trimester she should be able to carry our child to term, because her uterus seems to be functioning normally.
I keep staring down at the sonogram picture they let us take home with us. Macy is busy holding up paint samples on the wall of the downstairs spare bedroom or what will become the nursery. “What about this light green? Do you like this one, or the yellow better?”
I wrap my arms around her. “I don’t care what color we paint the walls, babe. All I care about is getting you back in bed for the next three months.”
“We’ve never gone that long. Do you think our marriage will survive?” I know she’s joking. Never once have I strayed. I haven’t needed to. Everything I want is already mine.
I look around the room that holds so many memories. I want the reminders gone. This room has to be filled with bright colors and the sound of our cooing baby when we bring him or her home. “That part of my life ended the day you walked into it.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Even if I wasn’t before, I am now. There’s a little life growing inside of you. One day they’ll be a teenager and I won’t let them go through what I did.”
“It wasn’t all bad. I happen to know you enjoyed yourself.”
“I did, but I also didn’t know what it was like to be loved. I’d never trade that for what we have together. No matter what, you’ll never lose me.”
“You won’t be like the judge? You won’t live a secret life like Donovan?”
“No. I’ll come to you first. I promised you that when I asked you to marry me. If that ever happens we’ll figure it out together, but never apart.”
“I’ll do anything to keep you happy, Ben. Always remember that. If we have to make sacrifices we’ll do it. We know people who can help.”
“Don’t worry. There are some things a man never forgets, and I also know those people are in my past.” I pull her into a hug and hold her close for a few seconds. “I wish my dad was here to see this. He’d be a good grandfather.”
“Hopefully he’s looking down on us. Maybe he’ll make sure this little peanut stays healthy.”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“Are you happy, Ben?”
Does she even have to ask? “More than I’ve ever been. Three years with you has gone by too fast. Now I see how people spend a lifetime together. I didn’t get it before, but I do now. I hate myself for being shallow all those years. I never knew it would be like this, babe.”
Her hand cups my cheek. “You just needed someone to come into you life and take control.”
“No. I needed someone to teach me what love was.” It’s true. My childhood didn’t include love or emotions.
“I’ll never let you down,” she promises.
I rake her in for a second and can’t help from smiling. She makes me better, each and every day. “I say we go with the yellow. Little girls like yellow, right?”
“You want a girl?”
He shrugs. “Sure. I mean, a boy will be great too, but I kind of like taking care of you, so I know it’ll be just as gratifying to have a little girl I can protect for her whole life.”
She’s shaking her head. “You are not the man I fell in love with.”
“Huh?”
“You’re an even better version of him.”
“I guess you’re glad I picked you out and got you the job at the firm aren’t you?”
She slaps me on the ass. “Sometimes, but I would have eventually battled you in the court room. No matter what I think we’d still be right here in this same position. I’ve never been able to get you out of my head.”
“Hopefully that doesn’t change.”
“Come to bed with me.”
“For fun? I think it’s not allowed.”
“I need a foot rub. There are other things we can do. You’ve of all people know that.”
I pick her up and carry her over my shoulder.
I used to think sex was reprieve. I tried to convince myself it was natural and needed. I wanted to assume relationships were an unnecessary part of life. I thought I could change someone for my own benefit, but now I know I couldn’t have been more wrong. I’ve experienced what it’s like to have someone by my side. She never gives up on me. We’re friends. She’s my partner. I’d choose her every time if given the chance. Without Macy my heart would probably stop. I’m still a cocky bastard in the courtroom and at the office, but when it’s just us she gets to see the real me. That’s never going to change.
filter: grayscale(100%); " class="sharethis-inline-share-buttons">share
Bound (Seven Year Itch) Page 18