It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Chick Lit

by S. E. Babin

  I checked my phone one more time just to see if Zoey had texted or tried to call while Jay had distracted me. I debated texting Nikki or Malcolm, but I was running out of time, and it would take me too long to go anywhere else. I hoped the Delgados were ready to turn up.

  * * *

  Twenty minutes later, I slowed my car to a crawl along the suburban street where Javi’s parents’ house was supposed to be. I stared in awe at the neighborhood around me.

  The houses weren’t “houses”—they were mansions. Mansions with manicured lawns filled with tasteful, sophisticated Christmas decorations. You wouldn’t find five hundred inflatables in one yard or a light-up Santa bent over and mooning you in their neighborhood.

  I double-checked the address Javi gave me and studied the gilded street numbers glinting off mailboxes. I let out a low whistle as I approached the correct house and idled along the curb.

  It was a statuesque house made of taupe brick with plenty of windows. A turret took up one corner of the house, and an awning made of black metal sat above the dark double doors.

  I was in the middle of drooling over the design etched in the frosted glass of the doors when a rap on my car window made me scream. A man wearing a forest green vest, a red plaid bow tie, and leather jacket stood shivering next to my car door. I rolled down the window just enough to be able to speak to him.

  “Yeah?” I asked. I knew it wasn’t the nicest greeting, but I didn’t want to come across as too nice and then have the guy ask me for money or some kind of help. My one-track mind was focused on being on time.

  “Are you here for the Delgado party?” he asked. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and he hopped from foot to foot.

  I hesitated. “Um, yes.”

  “You’re in the right place.” The man attempted a smile that faltered due to the chattering of his lips. I couldn’t blame him. In the time I’d driven from downtown Wyndlake to its outskirts, it felt the temperature had dropped at least ten degrees. “If you’ll just step out, I’ll take your keys.”

  “Excuse me? The hell you will.” I rolled up the window and put the car in reverse.

  “Wait!” he cried, rapping on the window again. “I’m the valet. The Delgados hired me to park their guests’ cars. See the bow tie?”

  I eyed the bow tie with suspicion. Anyone could clip on a bow tie and call himself a valet. As I readjusted my grip on the bottle of tequila so that I could use it as a weapon if the “valet” attempted to open my car door, a familiar figure leisurely strolled up behind the man in the bow tie.

  “Reese—you’re here on time,” Javi said. He looked pleasantly surprised, and more scrumptious than usual as he was clean-shaven and his hair was perfectly parted and gelled into place. He glanced back and forth between the valet and me. “Is everything okay? You haven’t turned off the car.”

  I let my grip on the bottle relax and pulled the key from the ignition. With as much dignity as I could muster, I grabbed my brown paper bag—I’d forgotten to purchase some kind of wrapper or gift bag ahead of time—and exited the car.

  I narrowed my eyes at the valet and held out my keys. “Be careful with her.”

  He tried to grab the keys from my hand, but I didn’t let go. Javi pried them from my fingers and firmly placed them in the middle of the man’s palm with one hand. With the other on the small of my back, he guided me up the winding driveway that led to his parents’ front door.

  “You ready for this?” he whispered in my ear.

  “God, no,” I said. “You never told me your parents live in a freaking mansion. Now I’m nervous to the tenth power.”

  “Don’t be,” Javi said, his lips against my cheek, his hand at my back still steadying me. “They’re going to love you just like I do. It’s so good to see you.”

  Love?! Did he just—

  The door flung open and a lovely older woman in a forest green and gold gown flew out. Javi released me in order to catch her before she could go flying down the stone steps. “Javier! Mijo, you look so handsome tonight. It’s so good to see you.”

  While she covered his face in kisses, I stood off to the side smiling awkwardly at the older version of Javi standing next to her.

  When Javi finally pulled back, he clasped my left hand. “Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend, Reese.”

  “How do you do, Señor and Señora Delgado?” I resisted the strong urge to curtsy and settled for a handshake from Mr. Delgado, and a hug from Mrs. Delgado.

  “Please call me, Ana, short for Ana-Maria. And this is Luis.” Mrs. Delgado stood back and eyed the brown bag in Javi’s hand. “What’s that?”

  “Oh, it’s nothing—” I started, immediately berating myself for not going with the rotisserie chicken.

  “Reese brought you all a gift.” Javi extended the bag to his mother. She glanced at it with a bemused smile and accepted it.

  My own smile froze on my face as she grabbed the neck of the tequila bottle and slid it out from the bag. Her mouth formed an “O” and she looked at me, then Javi. Javi turned to look at me as well, his eyes ever-so-slightly widened as if to say, What the hell were you thinking?

  “There’s margarita mix in there too,” I said faintly as a blush crept up my neck.

  Ana smiled. “Well, then, I guess we’ll be having margaritas later. Where are my manners? Come on in.”

  Ana and Luis turned to go back inside, Javi and I following a couple feet behind.

  “Really? Tequila and margarita mix? You do know that tequila is a Mexican spirit?” Javi whispered in an amused tone. “Did you forget you’re dating a proud Cuban man?”

  “Shut up,” I whispered back. “I want to die.”

  Javi grinned at me. “Well, there’s nowhere to go from here but up, right?”

  One would think so.

  * * *

  “Reese, it’s nice to finally meet you,” Javi’s younger brother, Santiago, said with a smirk.

  Santi looked like the perfect blend of his parents; there was no denying that he and Javi were brothers. Javi had said that his little brother was incorrigible, and with the mischievous sparkle in his eye and single dimple in his right cheek, I didn’t doubt it.

  I waved the hand that wasn’t holding a steaming cup of spiked apple cider. “Nice to meet you too.”

  “I heard you’re ready to party,” Santi continued, putting his hands in his pockets.

  The sip of apple cider I’d just taken went down the wrong pipe, and I launched into a coughing fit. I managed to gulp down some air. “Did Javi say that?”

  Santi raised his eyebrows. “Javi? No, my mom.”

  I should have known better than to take another sip of my Fireball-laced drink until I’d finished the conversation. I clutched at my chest as I was wracked with more coughs.

  Santi gave me a cheeky salute and sauntered away, leaving me standing alone in the grand foyer of the mansion. Ten minutes earlier, Javi had been swept along by some old family friends, promising me he’d return in a “just a second.”

  I felt conspicuous in the center of the room, even though there were clumps of people engaged in conversations all around me. When I’d put on the red wrap-dress with white polka dots earlier in the evening, I’d felt sexy, confident, and festive. In a sea of men wearing sports jackets and button-downs, and women wearing sleek gowns in deep, rich colors, I stood out from the crowd—and not in a good way. It didn’t help my self-esteem that Javi’s mom was apparently telling people—or at the very least, Santi—that I was some kind of party animal.

  I smelled Javi’s musky cologne before he could loop his hand around my waist. I relaxed against his chest, and took a deep breath. Javi turned me around so that I was facing him.

  “That was a big sigh,” he said.

  My shoulders drooped. “Your mother thinks I’m an alcoholic.”

  Javi put his finger below my chin and tilted my head up. “She does not.”

  “Yes, she does. She told your brother so!”

  Javi opened h
is mouth to respond, but was cut off by a heavily accented, gruff voice.

  “Javier!” the man boomed.

  “Uncle Herman!” Javi let go of me and embraced his uncle. Beaming, he turned to me. “Reese, this is my dad’s oldest brother, Herman. Santi and I used to spend a few weeks at his house in Boca Raton each summer.”

  Uncle Herman nodded his head at me before returning his attention to Javi. “What happened to Elena?”

  The swallow of cider I’d just taken went down the wrong hole again. That was it; I was getting rid of the rest of my drink. I thought about pouring it out, but didn’t want to waste perfectly good alcohol. I tossed my head back and downed the contents of my cup.

  “Elena and I broke up several months ago. This is my girlfriend, Reese.” Javi smiled at me reassuringly and grabbed my hand.

  Herman adopted a smile phonier than my worst fake asthma attack. “I’m glad you found someone new, but it saddens me; you and Elena were a great pair. I thought you two were going to end up at the altar.”

  What the hell, Herman? I was standing right there. I met Javi’s gaze and widened my eyes.

  “Well, Elena and I are over,” Javi said firmly. He made a show of putting his arm around my shoulders. “I can’t wait for you to get to know Reese. She’s been a breath of fresh air.”

  Herman nodded at me and gazed off into the distance. “I see your Uncle Diego over there with his new girlfriend, Carmen. He owes me thirty dollars.”

  With a pat to Javi’s shoulder, and no further acknowledgment to me, Herman set off across the room.

  I threw my hands up in the air and gritted my teeth. “Really, Javi?”

  Javi massaged my shoulder. “Honestly, I think Uncle Herman wanted to date Elena himself. Ignore him—Diego is my favorite uncle. He’s the one you want to impress.”

  “Mmm,” I murmured, my eyes going through the doorway to the refreshments in the formal dining room. Javi followed my gaze and gave my shoulder another squeeze.

  “I see a former client of mine getting ready to leave so I’m going to say goodbye. Meet you at the snack table?”

  With a sigh, and a hankering for more alcohol, I drifted toward the Delgados’ formal dining room where a buffet of finger foods was spread along a massive oak table. I was piling up my plate with bacon-wrapped dates when I felt a tap on my elbow.

  A glance over my shoulder revealed a tiny, Cuban version of Golden Girls’ Sophia Petrillo peering over wire-rimmed spectacles.

  “Javi’s…girlfriend?” she asked haltingly in broken English.

  “If you’re looking for Elena, sorry to disappoint you,” I said bitterly. I added three more dates to my plate. “I’m the replacement model, Reese.”

  The old woman narrowed her eyes in confusion, then brightened. “Javi is good boy. He needs good woman. He will be good father.”

  I let out another huge sigh. “I’m starting to think the family doesn’t think I fit the bill.”

  The old woman looked even more perplexed. I shook my head.

  “Never mind,” I said. I raised my plate and inclined my head, “Nice to meet you.”

  I turned to go and bumped into Javi’s chest.

  “I see you met my abuela! ¿Abuela, qué piensas? What do you think?”

  Oh my God. I had snapped at Javi’s grandmother.

  Nodding her head, Abuela smiled, and rambled something off in rapid-fire Spanish. Javi said something back to her, and she giggled. She said something else that I couldn’t understand, but I did catch the name “Elena.”

  Javi ducked so she could pat his cheeks. When he straightened up, he smiled at me. “She thinks you’re pretty.”

  Prettier than Elena? I wanted to ask. I was sure Elena could speak perfect Spanish to converse with Javi’s grandmother, and I was even surer she would never have brought tequila to the family Christmas party.

  “C’mon, I want introduce you to my Uncle Diego.”

  As Javi dragged me away, I longingly glanced at the bottles of champagne chilling in ice on the sideboard. I wondered how long I would have to stand around with a fake smile on my face, listening to how I was no Elena and not good enough for Javier before it was acceptable to make my leave.

  “Uncle Diego, meet my girlfriend, Reese.”

  “Reese, great to meet you!” Diego exclaimed with a smile and hearty handshake. Good vibes radiated off him, and I was glad that someone was excited to meet me.

  I grinned. “It’s great to meet you, as well.”

  With buoyed spirits, I turned to the woman next to him and stuck out my hand. It might have been my imagination, the fact that I’d only seen her from across the room, or the booze, but she didn’t look like the same person, and I could’ve sworn she’d been wearing a different color dress.

  “And you must be his girlfriend, Carmen. You’re gorgeous!”

  The woman didn’t take my hand. Instead, her lips flattened into such a thin line that it didn’t look like she had a mouth. The easy-going grin dropped off Diego’s face, and he paled. Next to me, Javi grabbed my shoulder and squeezed—not in a comforting way, but with a warning to “Abort! Abort!”

  I looked between the three of them. Apparently I’d said the wrong thing, but I wasn’t sure where I’d made my error.

  The woman cut her eyes at Diego and cleared her throat. “I’m Soledad, Diego’s wife.”

  My mouth dropped open. I turned to Javi in horror. “Diego’s wha—”

  With eyes only for Soledad, Diego put a hand on the small of her back. “Let’s go get some champagne,” he said in a soothing voice.

  “Get your hands off of me,” Soledad hissed as she jerked away from him. “When did your mistress become common knowledge? Are you purposely trying to embarrass me?”

  Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit.

  Soledad stalked toward the mudroom where the coats were being kept. Diego was right on her heels. He only looked back once, his eyes so intense I thought I’d be vaporized where I stood.

  Javi closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Reese, that was Diego’s wife.”

  “I think I got that, Javier,” I snapped. “Why the hell was your Uncle Herman talking about Diego’s girlfriend then?”

  “Carmen was here earlier; Diego brought her because Soledad wasn’t going to be here—”

  “Wait a second, so the whole family knows that Uncle Diego’s a two-timer, and they’re okay with that?”

  Javi sighed. “It’s complicated.”

  “And I make a simple mistake, but now I’m the worst person in the world?” I asked, swallowing down the lump beginning to form in my throat.

  “No one said that—”

  I flung my hands out by my sides as I tried to fight back tears. “I can’t do this Javi. I’m not good enough. I’m not Elena. I’m sure she was best friends with Soledad and Carmen.”

  Javi glanced around the living room as if nervous someone would witness my breakdown. “No one’s asking you to be her. You’re you, and that’s all I want you to be,” he said in a low, urgent voice.

  “Javi, stop saying stuff like that. It just makes it harder.” A tear slipped down my cheek.

  Javi’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Makes what harder? What are you talking about, Reese?”

  “I can’t do this,” I repeated as the tears came faster. The room felt like it was closing in on me. “I’ve got to get out of here. You enjoy the rest of the party.”

  My head tucked into my chest, I ran for the mudroom, Javi close behind me.

  “Reese, where are you going? Wait a minute!”

  “Javi? What’s going on?” his mother asked, tagging along behind us.

  Great, just what I needed. I ignored the both of them as I pulled on my coat and scarf.

  “Nothing, Mom. Just give us a second.”

  Ana fell back, but I saw her hover just at the entrance to the tiny room.

  “I can’t let you leave like this,” Javi said. “What can I do?”

  I finally finishe
d buttoning my coat and looked him in the eye. I was tired of feeling like I couldn’t do anything right. I swiped at my eye with my scarf.

  “You can let me go,” I said.

  “But that’s not what I want,” Javi said. “I want you.”

  I sniffled, and opened the door to the outside. A cold wind swept through the small space. “Just go back to your family. I’ll be fine.”

  Like Cinderella running from her prince as the clock struck twelve, I took off down the driveway, not caring if anyone was watching from the mansion’s giant windows. It didn’t matter; I wouldn’t be seeing any of them again anyway.

  5

  When I opened the door to the apartment, Zoey looked up from her book and frowned. “You’re home early. Did everything go okay at the party?”

  I kicked off my boots and struggled out of my coat, dropping it on the sofa. “No, it did not go okay,” I spat out, stalking to my room.

  I slammed my bedroom door and lay on my bed. Zoey opened the door and leaned against the wall next to the bed.

  “What happened?” she asked.

  “What didn’t happen is a better question. It was a disaster!”

  Zoey came and sat next to me on the bed. “So tell me about it.”

  “Well, you didn’t answer your phone—”

  Zoey frowned at me. “Reese, you knew I was working at the hospital this afternoon.”

  “You didn’t answer your phone,” I repeated in a louder voice. “So I bought tequila and margarita mix.”

  Zoey’s eyes widened and she covered her mouth the way she did when she was trying to hide her smile. “You didn’t.”

  “Strawberry.”

  That did it; Zoey burst out laughing. “Oh my God. Did you actually give it his parents?”

  “Yes. And now his mom thinks I’m a hard partier who was brought up without any manners.”

  Zoey’s laughter died away and she nudged me. “So you gave Javi’s mom some liquor; she’ll get over it.”

  “You know me, Zo—that’s not all I did.”