It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Chick Lit

by S. E. Babin

  “Starbucks,” I nod. “A Starbucks gift card.”

  “I figure it could be our thing.”

  After a moment I look up from the envelope and gift card to find him standing right in front of me. Other than sitting behind his desk together, this is the nearest we have ever been. The elf on his sweater is staring me right in the face, until I look up at Perry that is.

  He has his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “So, Jocelyn told me.”

  I wish I didn’t know what he meant, but I do.

  My eyes flutter shut and it feels like my heart drops into the pit of my stomach. “I’m going to rip her into a thousand pieces.”

  “She told me after I told her.” Perry ignores me as his voice softens.

  Slowly I open my eyes again and I feel my mouth get dry as nerves overtake me.

  “You told her what?”

  He can’t help but give me a wistful smirk as he steps closer to me, his hands coming out of his pockets. I feel his hands touch my back softly and I arch against it, straight against his chest. One of his hands slips off my back and lightly brushes my cheek as he leans down to me. His lips brush against mine tenderly and his hands now grip my arms. I’m on my toes as I return the softness of his kiss and when I feel him smile through it, I can’t help but do the same.

  He breaks from me a moment later, holding his smile, and whispers, “Merry Christmas.”

  2

  It turns out Sam gave the Social Department full run of our Secret Santa gig this year, and Sierra was just so excited. She will be walking around with names in a hat tomorrow morning, and I am wishing like a goon that I’ll somehow be able to pick out Perry’s name from the hat.

  Please let me pick out Perry’s name. Please, please, please…

  As I take the subway to Morningside Villa after work, I creep Sierra’s Instagram again. Perry is definitely not her type of man, at least not according to her Instagram posts. All her previous men looked like runaway models with bronzed skin, six packs, and hair that shone brightly in every picture.

  I’m in a mood when I get to Morningside and my grandmother picks up on it the moment I walk into her room. She sits in her armchair, across from her small television set, watching her soap operas. Her black hair, almost all grey now, is twisted back in a bun. She’s in a pair of fuzzy red slippers and a green robe.

  “How can you be grumpy at Christmas?” she asks.

  I throw my coat and purse down on her bed and then sit on its edge. “I’m not grumpy Grandma; it was just a long day at work.”

  I watch her small eyes, still bright green at the age of seventy six, dart from me to the television. “Did you get my cookies?”

  Her room is one of the medium sized rooms, offered on the ground floor of the three-story building. It’s painted light pink, and has two sets of large windows, which my grandmother has covered with white drapes and blinds. Her bed is a standard queen size like all the beds in the retirement home, dressed in a heavy navy blue duvet and matching pillow shams. Her en suite bathroom is adjacent from it. Family photos line every section of bare wall in the room, and some of the pictures are black and white.

  “I did,” I nod. “Thank you. You could have given them to me today though.”

  “It’s nice to receive packages.” She shrugs leaning her head into the headrest of the velvet arm chair. “Did you eat them?”

  “Jocelyn and Perry ate them all actually. Jocelyn says hi by the way.”

  “That explains why you’re in a bad mood.” My grandma looks away from me. “Tell Jocelyn I’ll send her some this week.”

  “Or you could just hand them to me when I come see you Friday,” I remark.

  I watch her roll her eyes at me before speaking again. “Did you ask Perry out yet?”

  This happens every time I come to visit.

  For the last 30 days, anyway.

  I was feeling particularly low one evening when I came to see her, after a stressful interaction with Sierra and a horrible blind date Jocelyn had set me up on. I had snuck away from the date after he went to the bathroom, and I was already three apple martinis in. So I was a bit more outgoing than usual by the time I got to Morningside Villa. When my grandmother asked me why I gave up on the date, and how a woman like me could still be single, I confided in her about Perry.

  Big mistake.

  “Grandma.” I sigh, placing my hands on the bed behind me. “That won’t happen. I told you that.”

  “Why not? You said he’s a nice boy, he’s funny, and he works hard…” slowly she sits up and leans towards me. “What is it? Does he have a hump?” “Grandma!”

  “That’s genetics, you know.” She shakes a finger at me as she leans back into her chair. “Don’t marry someone who has a hump.”

  I try not to giggle but I can’t help it and when I do, I see her smile from the corner of my eye. A moment later she says, “The family Christmas dinner is next week.”

  “Yup, I got the email,” I say. “I will be here.”

  She doesn’t say anything to me and I wonder if she’s thinking about my mother. My mother, who decided to move out east by the ocean three years ago with my father, and leave my grandmother and me behind. Other than Facetiming with her once a month, we haven’t seen either of them since they left. Every holiday the retirement home throws a dinner for its residents and their families, and I make it every time.

  “I’m making cookies for the dinner,” my grandmother informs me. “My friends here asked me to. They all love them.” She pauses and looks back at me, “Are you bringing anybody?”

  “You mean, like Jocelyn?” I frown. “Probably not.”

  She shakes her head at me and I suddenly get what she means.

  “It’s just been so long for you, Kinsley.” My grandmother focuses on me and I meet her kind eyes. Her smile is there, but there’s a sadness behind it that bothers me. “I just want you to find a nice boy.”

  “I will,” I answer quickly, not a trace of confidence in my tone. “I promise.” My grandma just nods at me and looks back at her television.

  “Nobody likes to be alone during the holidays…”

  3

  It’s the next morning, and when I get into work I find Jocelyn at my desk. Her floor has already pulled their names from their hats and she has lucked out in picking out her secretary’s name. Somebody she gets along with well.

  “It’s so much more festive on your floor than mine,” Jocelyn steps up next to me, and together we lean against the plastic wall at my desk. “We have a white tree in the corner with a gold star. That’s it.”

  “Did your grandma give you anymore cookies?” Jocelyn then asks.

  I shake my head. “No, but she’s sending you some.”

  Jocelyn’s mouth bursts into a grin. “Sweet.” She plays with the ends of her dark hair, and gives me a hard look. “Did you ask Perry out yet?”

  My mouth drops open just a little as I digest her words.

  “How did—How did you know—”

  “Please.” She throws a hand up at me, “Kinsley. We’ve been friends for two years now. I know you like him, even if you think you’re exceptionally good at hiding it.”

  “I thought I was,” I look down at the floor, covering my face with both hands.

  “You are,” she practically laughs, and I feel her hands wrap around my wrists. She pulls my hands from my face and smiles at me. “Honestly, you are. I mean I had some suspicion but it wasn’t until I mentioned Sierra’s boob popping out in front of him that I saw it on your face.”

  I groan, and she lets go of my wrists.

  “Don’t worry; I won’t say anything to anyone but, Kinsley? You should ask him out. He’s a nice guy.”

  I can’t help but let out a sarcastic laugh. “Sierra is into him, and I’m pretty sure he’s into her.”

  Jocelyn makes a gagging sound and I smile, looking away from her.

  I notice the evil twins heading our direction and gasp.

  Next to
me, Jocelyn whispers a curse word I can’t really make out.

  Sierra and Michael Wallace, her evil twin who works on the blog with her, are in full costume. He’s in a bright green elf’s uniform, complete with a red sleeping hat, and shoes with bells. His dark hair is gelled neatly to the side and his contoured make up is as usual, perfect. He follows Sierra like a loyal lapdog, handing out candy canes to the employees they stop at.

  Sierra is in a Mrs. Claus costume. The skirt ends high above her knee, her legs are draped in knee-high strip socks and her boots are at least five inches off the ground. Her shirt cuts off at the shoulders, and a low v-cut up front holds little to the imagination when it comes to her breasts.

  “Okay, that is so inappropriate!” I hiss at Jocelyn.

  “I don’t know how she gets away with the things she puts on her body,” Jocelyn shakes her head and clicks her tongue. “HR is a joke here.”

  We watch as she and Michael reach Digital Marketing. Both Jocelyn and I get on our toes. Sierra pushes the Santa hat in her hands out at Perry. I watch, almost too eagerly, as he reaches inside. He’s dressed in jeans and a black long-sleeved shirt today. His hair falls over his forehead as he unfolds the slip of paper in his hands and nods.

  Sierra leans forward and whispers something to him. I watch him smile, and I fall off my toes onto my heel. As she squeezes his arm, I look away and pretend to focus on the hem of my plaid skirt.

  “You really should just ask him out,” Jocelyn whispers when she sees my expression.

  “I’m not his type.”

  Jocelyn shakes her head at me but remains silent, only because the evil twins are making a beeline towards my work area. Once they stop in front of me, Sierra thrusts the hat my way and gives me a smug smile. Next to her, Michael is spinning the hook part of a candy cane around his index finger, clearly bored.

  I reach inside of the hat, feeling around and noticing instantly that there is only one slip of paper for me to take. As I pull it out, Sierra gives Jocelyn a smile before looking back at me.

  “So Ken, think I could pick your brain later on today about something?”

  “It’s Kinsley,” Jocelyn corrects, frowning at her.

  “Yeah I know,” Sierra smirks, exchanging a look with Michael, who shares her goofy grin. “I was using a nickname.”

  “What did you want to talk about?” I ask Sierra quickly, deciding it is better to jump in before Jocelyn snaps at her.

  “Oh, I need some ideas,” Sierra steps closer to me, whipping her long blond hair over her shoulder. I can smell her perfume, sickly sweet, wafting from her neckline as she leans into my left ear to whisper. “I have Perry for Secret Santa and am at a complete loss.”

  I feel my hands ball into fists and my heart caves within me a little bit.

  I pray the smile I force over my face hides my agony from her. “Sure, I can help with that.”

  “Peaches!” She squeezes her nails into my arm with a grin too wide for my liking and then bids us farewell. Michael follows behind her and after giving me a once over, over his shoulder, he says something to Sierra and they burst out laughing.

  “We exchange gifts Tuesday folks!” Sierra screams out to the room as her laughter with Michael fades.

  “What did she want?” Jocelyn asks me as I turn and walk around to my desk. My legs feel heavy beneath me and when I finally plop down on my chair, I’m relieved that I’m off them.

  “Nothing. Work thing,” I lie.

  I don’t know why I lied to Jocelyn, maybe it was to save face, or maybe it was because I didn’t want her to realize just how much I do like Perry. Right now she thinks it’s just a small crush, and it’s better it stays that way.

  Realizing I still haven’t checked who my Secret Santa is, I unfold the paper in my hands, and groan loudly as I show Jocelyn who I have. She lets out a grunt and sighs.

  Michael Wallace.

  4

  “Let’s move the clip for the pre-order sale for Guardians of the Mountain to the left. That way we can put the award ribbons right there alongside of it, so it catches everyone’s eye.”

  By two o’clock, I’ve found myself working alongside Perry at his desk. We sit close, elbows grazing every few seconds as we look from his computer screen to my notes on the yellow notepad.

  I watch him move the mouse cursor across the screen, dragging the images along with them and starting to position them like I suggested.

  “Forgot to tell you, I think your grandmother’s cookies worked,” Perry suddenly says giving me a quick look. “After I ate one, I couldn’t get I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus out of my head the entire day.”

  I let out a small giggle, instantly feeling my cheeks redden as he focuses his dark eyes on me. I have to look back at the computer screen until he whispers to me,

  “So, did you get someone good for Secret Santa?”

  “Did you?” I counter, looking from the screen to him.

  His nose crinkles and he shakes his head when a few strands of hair fall over his eyes. “Nah, I got Vince, my supervisor. I already get him a gift every year for Christmas so now he’s going to get two from me, or a really big one.”

  I smile and look back at his work on the screen. “I got someone lame too, but I think they’d like a Starbucks gift card, maybe…”

  “Yikes,” Perry’s voice gets high and he makes a face at me. “A Starbucks gift card, the go-to gift you give someone you don’t know, or like.”

  “That’s not true,” I stifle a laugh but the smile spreads over my face. “Lots of people love Starbucks gift cards.”

  “Unless someone specifically asks for one, it’s the go to gift card,” Perry motions with his free hand, his humorous tone alive. “Nobody ever turns down a Starbucks gift card, that’s why people get it for people they don’t really know.”

  “That’s absurd! I’m sure there are other gift cards people get for someone they don’t know.”

  “Nope,” Perry answers quickly. “It’s always Starbucks, but you should just agree to disagree on me with this one.”

  I narrow my eyes at him and watch his eyes twinkle at his own jousting. I elbow him in the side and shake my head. “You think you’re so funny.”

  “I was voted most likely to be a stand-up comedian in high school,” he tells me, a comical tone of arrogance coming over him, “so yes, I do think I’m quite funny. Probably the funniest, if I’m being honest.”

  I laugh and look down at the notes between us.

  My hands may be sweaty and my skin warm from nerves as I sit close to him, but I like it. I don’t want to get up from my seat and go back to my work station.

  “Delivery.”

  We both look up and see our mailman, arms stretched over the plastic wall at Perry’s desk. In his hands is a large square box, wrapped up with an Express Shipping label over the sides. Perry thanks him for it, taking it with both hands and then sets it down underneath his desk.

  “What’s with all the packages lately?” I ask, remembering what I saw on his desk yesterday.

  It takes him a moment to respond as he sits back up and pushes the box further beneath his desk with his foot. “Uh, Christmas presents. I avoid the stores during the holidays.”

  I narrow my eyes at him again, and he lifts his eyebrows high, shrugging at the same time. Something in his answer wasn’t genuine and I think about calling him out on his lie.

  “Oh hey. Moving my gramps in at Morningside at the end of the week,” Perry tells me, as he pulls himself up against his desk again. “I think he’s more excited to get out of my mom’s house than she is.”

  I smile softly. “He’ll like it there.”

  Perry reaches for the mouse and begins to move the graphics across the page again.

  5

  By the time Friday hits, I am more than relieved. Next Friday is Christmas, which means after this weekend we have only two days of work until we all get two weeks off for Christmas and New Year’s.

  Then I remember we have
the company Christmas party tomorrow night, and on the e-vite Sierra sent out, it said “Classy Dress Only Please.” I can only guess what she will be wearing to it. My black mini dress will look like a garbage bag compared to her outfit, I’m sure.

  Upon leaving work Friday afternoon, Sierra cornered me at my desk and kept me hostage for thirty minutes. She has done it for the last two days, ever since we pulled names. She sat on my desk, her long smooth legs swaying back and forth in front of me, because she was in another short red skirt. As if she was bragging about them.

  “I kind of want, like, I know I want it to be a cute gift, but not cheesy. Like, cute and romantic and really, really fun,” she kept telling me. “Maybe I want it to be a little bit sexy? I don’t know…We flirt all the time. He makes fun of my Insta account, and I make fun of his love for board games…”

  It was the worst thirty minutes of my life. Not because talking to her brought my IQ down, but because today she has confirmed my fears.

  Perry does like her, and that the smile I saw on his face when she came to my desk earlier in the week was genuine.

  How could Perry like her? What is it about her, other than her obvious looks, that draws him to her? Could I stand to be a little bit more like Sierra?

  The thought alone has me shudder in terror.

  Suffice it to say, I’m in a mood again when I get to Morningside to see my grandma. After saying hi to the nursing staff, and noticing that they had a platter of Grandma’s freshly baked cookies at their station, I make my way to her room. It’s empty, and after throwing my coat and purse on her made-up bed, I leave in search for her.

  A few rooms down from her room is the kitchen so I decide to check there first.

  I am not five feet from the door when I hear someone give out a grumbly shout. Then comes a loud wooden bang that has me jump.

  “Get out of here before I whack you like a male dog!”

  I know that voice.

  I unglue myself from my place and rush into the kitchen. The shared kitchen is small, made only for the residents to cook their own meals if they choose. The dining hall is across the hall, and they have their own cafeteria for the residents who choose not to cook.