by Sue MacKay
He’s back on her doorstep...
And wants her back in his life.
Nurse Vicki has always supported her husband, Cole, even when he enlisted in the army, leaving her behind. But after going through the agonizing loss of their baby alone, she vows to pursue her own dreams. So when Cole returns wanting a second chance, Vicki finds herself waging war with her heart—especially when a disaster means joining forces and remembering just how good they are together...
His head came closer, his lips brushing hers before he whispered, “Vicki, love.” Then he was kissing her, deeply, lovingly.
Rising onto her toes, she pushed against his chest, kissed him back, her tongue darting into his mouth to taste. She had missed this, him, so much it hurt. Her blood heated as she continued to return his kisses. “Cole,” she murmured against his mouth as his hands spread across her waist.
He lifted her, sat her on top of the washing machine, pushed his hips between her legs and continued kissing, continued ramping up her desire, turning her body into an inferno of need. This was them. This was how they’d got back together every time he’d been away.
This was bad timing. They hadn’t resolved a thing yet, and as much as making love would be wonderful, it might make keeping on track that much harder. Reluctance warred with need as she pulled her mouth away. She so didn’t want to stop this. But she had to if she was to be true to herself. Which she had to be. Or else she’d lose everything.
Dear Reader,
Vicki and Cole were first mentioned in The Nurse’s Twin Surprise and I knew immediately I would write their story.
It’s always hard for a couple when one of them spends a lot of time away from home for work. Add in the person keeping the home fires burning and trying to pretend life is perfect, and there can be sadness and disappointment with the relationship.
Growing up in Cairns, Vicki has always been surrounded by family, and to find herself alone in Sydney is hard, so when things go wrong, it’s hard for her to keep going. She loves Cole, but he’s not home enough.
Cole has a promise to keep before he can give Vicki all the time and attention he wants to. And now she’s saying their marriage is over.
Read their story and see how they get through this quagmire that has become their relationship.
Cheers!
Sue MacKay
[email protected]
SueMacKay.co.nz
Reclaiming Her Army Doc Husband
Sue MacKay
Sue MacKay lives with her husband in New Zealand’s beautiful Marlborough Sounds, with the water on her doorstep and the birds and the trees at her back door. It is the perfect setting to indulge her passions of entertaining friends by cooking them sumptuous meals, drinking fabulous wine, going for hill walks or kayaking around the bay—and, of course, writing stories.
Books by Sue MacKay
Harlequin Medical Romance
London Hospital Midwives
A Fling to Steal Her Heart
SOS Docs
Redeeming Her Brooding Surgeon
Baby Miracle in the ER
Surprise Twins for the Surgeon
ER Doc’s Forever Gift
The Italian Surgeon’s Secret Baby
Taking a Chance on the Single Dad
The Nurse’s Twin Surprise
Visit the Author Profile page at Harlequin.com for more titles.
Dedicated to my wonderful friend Vicki Rule, who has a fantastic shoe collection and is one of the kindest and strongest women I know.
Praise for Sue MacKay
“Overall, Ms. MacKay has delivered a really good read in this book where the chemistry between this couple was strong; the romance was delightful and had me loving how these two come together...”
—Harlequin Junkie on The Italian Surgeon’s Secret Baby
Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
EPILOGUE
EXCERPT FROM THE PARAMEDIC'S UNEXPECTED HERO BY ALISON ROBERTS
CHAPTER ONE
‘COLE, IT’S ME. I need to talk to you urgently. Please, sweetheart.’ Vicki Halliday pressed her phone so hard against her ear it hurt. ‘We’ve got a problem.’
She’d miscarried. Their baby was gone. Their dreams and excitement were over. Maybe her dream more than his. He’d seemed a little distant since learning about the pregnancy.
‘Please leave a message after the beep and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible,’ her husband’s strong, don’t-mess-with-me voice intoned. Not the voice she adored, went to bed with to have sweet nothings whispered against her skin. Not the man she hugged and kissed in return because of the deep sexiness that was the love of her life.
She pressed ‘off’ and leaned forward over her knees, her hands clenched around the only link she had with her husband. Damn, how she missed him. Would give anything for him to be here so they could get through the loss of their baby together.
Not that there was anything unusual about his absence. Twelve months ago he hadn’t been around when she’d had to have their spaniel Benji put down after a car had hit the beloved pet that had helped her through the lonely days when Cole was offshore. Neither had he been around two months later when her mother had been having chemo and Vicki had thought she would lose her too.
He had surprised her by turning up for her thirtieth birthday. One night of passion, then he was gone before she’d woken up. Gone without a word of when he’d see her next, without waking her to say he loved her. As always, he’d had to follow orders. Fair enough. He’d gone into the job willingly. But she hadn’t. Now he was in East Timor with his army unit. Not here. Where he was needed the most. Where, for once, he could put his own needs aside and help her through this tragedy—together.
‘Cole, you have to answer your phone pronto.’
In desperation she tapped his number again. Again heard his impersonal message.
The pain and despair combined to fling words out of her mouth with no thought of consequences. ‘Just for once, answer your blasted phone, Cole Halliday. I’ve miscarried our baby,’ Vicki shrieked through a burst of pain. ‘I’ve miscarried,’ she repeated, quieter this time.
The words clogged her throat and she threw the phone onto the couch beside her as she sprawled lengthways in a wasted attempt to ease the ache in her abdomen. And her heart. ‘This can’t be happening,’ Then again, why not? Nothing had gone right in their marriage for a while, so why would believing she’d see their pregnancy through to full term be any different? Except this time the pain was unbearable, and that wasn’t the physical.
I’ve lost our baby.
‘It’s so unfair,’ she cried through clenched jaws.
I think I’ve lost my husband, too.
‘Still no answer?’ Molly rubbed Vicki’s back.
‘Obviously not,’ she vented at her friend, then instantly regretted it. None of this was Molly’s fault. Molly had strapped her baby twins into the car and driven halfway across Sydney to pick her up the moment Vicki had said what was happening.
Also, as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t really blame Cole for the fact she was losing their baby. But he should be here, cuddling her, or rubbing her back when it ached instead of Molly sharing her grief beca
use it would be his, too. No matter how hard her friend tried, it wasn’t the same as having the man she loved with her during this crisis, giving the emotional support he all too often failed on. Because he stood tall, he thought she could too.
Instead she was used to having a loving family at her side through everything, so these past years in Sydney away from them, and with Cole coming and going, had been hard. He didn’t get it. Didn’t understand how much she needed him to listen to her worries and take them on board. Like Molly was doing now. She dragged herself upright. ‘Sorry, ignore me.’
‘It’s okay. I get it.’
‘True.’ If anyone did, Molly did. Years ago her friend’s ex had put her through a horrific miscarriage via a fist to her stomach. For Molly, it had been the final straw in a violent marriage, and she’d left him for good. Eventually, she’d found happiness with Cole’s best friend, Nathan.
‘I only wish you weren’t going through this.’
Vicki gave a sick sigh. Right this moment she struggled to find the strength to see it through without her man. ‘You and me both.’ All the excitement of having a baby, of believing that she and Cole would be a proper family with a child to nurture and love, had gone down the drain, almost literally. Angry tears burned down her cheeks. Her broken heart continued doing its job from under a weight of despair and sadness. She was a mixed bag of emotions, not one of them good. ‘Cole’s not here to see it. To hold my hand. To tell me silly stuff like I’ll be all right. That we’ll try again.’ If he wanted to.
‘Here.’ A box of tissues appeared before her. ‘He’ll feel terrible when he gets your message.’
When he got it. Who knew exactly where he was and for how long? Not her. He never told her when he was going on a mission, or what happened on the forays the unit engaged in. Not that she wanted the details, they’d only give her more graphic nightmares worrying if he was safe.
‘You reckon?’ Vicki couldn’t help the bitterness tainting her question. Was she being unfair? Selfish? Sure she was, but today she didn’t care much. She needed Cole. Right here. Now. Not in another country looking out for people he didn’t know. It was important to him, and some would say she was selfish, that other army wives coped with disasters.
To hell with them. Watching her mother, after her close shave with cancer, begin to understand how much she’d sacrificed for her family, Vicki had started realising she was going down the same track by forfeiting her own needs to keep Cole happy. She liked making others happy, or helping them get well. It was one reason she’d become a nurse. When she and Cole had got married her own dreams had gone on hold, but over the past year she’d begun resurrecting the idea of owning a nursing agency. Maybe she should’ve done it when Cole had first signed up and then perhaps she wouldn’t be so at odds with him now.
She hadn’t known where to start. It didn’t come naturally. Cole didn’t understand how important it was to her to create something for herself, so she’d vacillated between what she had and what she wanted. When she’d become pregnant, the future had become clearer—in a different direction. She would raise her child with all the love she was capable of, while still being there for Cole, at his side, loving him. Putting herself on the backburner. Just like her mother had done with her father, and now regretted.
Watching her mother blossom over the last months as she followed her artistic aspirations had been an eye-opener, and had made Vicki take a long look at herself. It was scary. Following through on her own dreams might mean losing Cole. If that happened, then maybe she’d fallen in love with the wrong man. No. She loved him so much, that wasn’t possible.
Whatever the truth, all the hopes and plans and excitement of a family were now finished. Gone. Poof. No more. Through no fault of her own, or Cole’s. Miscarriages happened—often. She just hadn’t figured she’d be a statistic. Neither had she’d started her pregnancy thinking how it might go wrong. That was unhealthy. Yet she was already grieving for her baby.
Where should she go from here? She could go back to work tomorrow, get on with living like nothing had happened, stiff upper lip and all that. It was a role she had played every time Cole had left her for another army excursion. Taking days off would only add to her loneliness. Her friends would be at work or, like Molly, busy with their little ones. To head home to the family in Cairns where she’d be wrapped in love and comfort would make it even harder to return to Sydney and the empty apartment at the end of her break.
Molly hadn’t finished playing the diplomat. ‘You know Cole will be gutted. He was so excited about the pregnancy, and he loves you to bits.’
‘Then why do I come second to everything?’ The army was like another wife, a more demanding one who had to be obeyed at all cost. Right from the start of their relationship Cole had warned her he was going to sign up after finishing his medical degree. Because she’d been so much in love she’d thought she’d manage as long as he was in her life. Going along with his plans without question made him happy.
Unfortunately, she hadn’t known what living alone while married really entailed. Hadn’t understood the relentless loneliness when he was away for months on end. An isolation that encroached even when he was back in Sydney and they were sharing army digs. Sharing a bed, spending their days and nights together—when he wasn’t working—was what she craved when he wasn’t here and worked at making wonderful when he was.
Yet being a soldier wasn’t like any regular job. Not even a medical registrar’s frantically busy position had taken him away from her so much. Often lately, even when he was home with her, he wasn’t really with her.
Regret for not getting on with the agency years ago hit hard. She’d have been busy, focused, not trying to fill in the empty hours. Deep down, she’d been hoping the baby would change everything, bring Cole home to her permanently so he’d share their lives beside her, not from a distance. And give her strength to revisit her plans. But her baby was gone. Raw agony slammed into her again. There was nothing to smile about.
‘You’re staying here with us tonight, no argument.’ Molly locked her newly learned formidable gaze with hers, which was no doubt pathetically sad at the moment.
‘You didn’t used to be so bossy,’ Vicki muttered through an overwhelming gratitude that she’d met this woman and they’d become firm friends.
‘That’s a yes, then.’
‘Didn’t think I had any choice.’ She had nothing to hide from Molly. ‘Okay, thank you. I don’t want to go back to the apartment and stare at the walls while trying to absorb what’s happened.’ Yes, happened, as in no going back. No changing the outcome. The bleeding had begun sometime before she’d woken that morning and was all but done now, though the occasional painful cramps still underscored what had occurred. As if she needed reminding. The weight on her chest, the emptiness in her heart, the incessant tears—all tells of her loss. Our loss. Just because she hadn’t spoken to Cole didn’t mean his world hadn’t irrevocably changed too.
She straightened up, swung her legs over the side of the couch. She needed to be doing something, not lying around waiting for the next hit from life. ‘I’m going to walk to the end of the lawn and back.’ Stop and stare out over the Tasman Sea from the clifftop, and draw up some strength to move forward.
‘Want me to come with you? I can bring the baby monitor. It works from as far as the fence.’
Vicki shook her head. ‘I’ll be fine. You stay near those two cuties.’ Her lip trembled.
Molly wrapped her in a hug. ‘I’m glad you called me.’
‘So am I. It would’ve been an even longer day if I hadn’t.’
She’d phoned in a panic when she’d realised what was happening and, while it wasn’t essential she go to the emergency department, they’d agreed it was better if she got checked over at the hospital where she and Nathan worked and let him talk her through the medical details—which she knew from a nursing perspective—
before Molly brought her back to their house.
She was so grateful for Molly’s company, though it was hard when the babies cried, or needed feeding or changing. That was supposed to have been her future. If Cole had been around she wouldn’t have needed anyone else to hold her, talk when she wanted a distraction, listen to her vent about how unfair life was. He would have understood everything.
Before heading outside, she picked up her phone to tap Cole’s number, knowing he still wouldn’t answer but needing to hear his voice. ‘Cole, sweetheart, answer me.’
‘Please leave a message...’
She banged ‘off’, tossed the phone aside. So much for needing to listen to his voice. The message was not solely for her, it was generic. It wasn’t special, or sexy. She choked, the tears a waterfall soaking into her crumpled tee shirt. ‘Where the hell are you?’ she yelled.
Nathan appeared in the doorway. ‘Vicki? It’s hard, that’s what it is.’ He crossed the room to hug her. ‘Cole will call as soon as he can.’
‘I know that. But it’ll be too late.’ She sniffed, soaked up some of her friend’s warmth and leaned back to look directly at the man she’d known almost as long as she’d known Cole. ‘I need him now.’ Already the emptiness from losing her baby was taking over, more destructive because her husband wasn’t here to share it, to console her, to let her comfort him. They could’ve cried together, held each other, got through the days ahead a little easier. ‘I really do.’
‘You’ll get through this. You’re tougher than you think.’ Nathan squeezed tighter, then released her, a grim expression on his face.
Tough? Yes, she could be. But today she’d run out of tough. She wanted to be selfish for a while. Curling up in bed, pulling the covers over her head, and ignoring the world going on around her was a priority right now. Which was why she’d go outside for a few minutes. Acting tough? Sniff. I suppose. But, no, she really had had enough.