The Way We Wed

by Pat Warren

  Jeff glanced at his watch, saw that it was nearly nine in the evening. “Honey, I’m going to stretch out on this chair and grab some shut-eye before I keel over here. You keep on resting, keep on fighting because I love you, unconditionally and every other way, and I want you back with me.”

  Repositioning the chair near her bed but far enough away so that the nurse could come in and do her thing, Jeff also found a small stool and set it in place. With a huge yawn, he sat down and stretched out his long legs, propping his feet on the stool, and laying his head on the extra pillow he’d taken from the closet. Though he’d thought to rest his body only since his worried mind would make sleep impossible, he was unconscious within minutes.

  Shifting his cramped body in his sleep, Jeff’s feet slipped off the stool and he awakened with a jolt. Disoriented for a moment, he gazed around the dim room, then remembered that he was in Tish’s ICU cubicle. The machine lights were still winking and blinking and Tish still hadn’t moved.

  Rising, he stretched his sore muscles and looked through the glass doors. One nurse was on the phone and two others were in the far cubicle across the way. He’d learned that each nurse was assigned two ICU patients, but that they helped one another out in an emergency. This seemed to be one of those critical times, Jeff decided as a man in street clothes with a stethoscope hanging around his neck, presumably a doctor, rushed in through the double doors and hurried over to the far cubicle.

  Checking his watch, Jeff saw that it was a little after five in the morning. Apparently the patient in question was having some sort of difficulty and his doctor had been summoned. Curious, he slid open Tish’s glass door to see if he could figure out what was going on.

  A man in green scrubs that Jeff hadn’t noticed before was working on the male patient, administering oxygen from what Jeff could see. Wandering to the circular desk, he glanced over and saw that Thelma was back on duty and Doris was gone.

  “What’s happening?” he asked quietly. Everyone in ICU spoke in soft tones so he’d fallen in line.

  “The patient in cubicle 1 is in distress.” Aware that Jeff was a doctor, apparently Thelma felt free to speak more openly than she would to a lay person. “He has all sorts of things wrong with him. Prostate cancer too far gone for surgery, emphysema and the pneumonia that put him in here. Such a shame. He’s only fifty-two.”

  “That’s a lot to fight off,” Jeff commented.

  As he stood watching, he saw the doctor step back from the patient, remove the stethoscope he’d been using and glance up at the clock. Bad news, Jeff thought. Usually that meant the doctor was pronouncing a patient dead, noting the time.

  Which was exactly what had happened as the stern-faced doctor came out, followed by the man in scrubs, probably the physician on call. In whispered conference, they stood at the far side of the circular desk.

  As Jeff turned to go back to Tish, he heard the double doors hiss open and two distraught women came rushing through. The taller one spotted the doctor and rushed over to him.

  “My father, how is he, Dr. Burns?” she asked. “I got this call and—”

  Taking her arm, Dr. Burns talked to her in low tones as he led her to her father’s cubicle while the other woman followed. The taller woman bowed her head, apparently weeping softly, but the smaller one let out a wail that could have been heard outside ICU.

  Jeff closed the sliding doors and moved to Tish’s bed to allow the family some privacy. She hadn’t moved despite the woman’s shriek. He sat down, feeling depressed.

  It took a special kind of person to work in ICU. Only the seriously ill were brought there. Although he’d been in medicine for quite a while now, a patient dying always got to him. No matter how advanced medical science was, at times nothing more could be done.

  His green eyes settled on Tish lying there. If he mentally removed all the medical equipment, she might look as if she were asleep. And she was, but unnaturally so.

  He leaned forward, trying to will her awake. “It’s time, honey. Time to wake up, to talk to me. I’m so lonely here without you, Tish. I need you to be here with me.

  “I’ll bet you’re trying to come back. I’ll bet you’re scared and feeling all alone, too. You’re not alone, you know. I’m here and East sends his love and so does Ally. They had their baby, a little girl. Named her Annie. Mother and baby doing fine. Maybe one day, you and I will have—” No, he thought, halting his flow of words. Best not to go there. Best not to talk about anything that might agitate her.

  “I know how you feel, you know. Exactly how you feel. You wonder where everyone is, how come you’re all alone, why someone isn’t rescuing you. Is that about it, honey? Yeah, I’ll bet that’s how it is with you because that’s how I felt when those SOBs buried me alive.”

  Dropping back in the chair, Jeff pressed his fingers to his closed eyes. He didn’t want to think about that horrific time several months ago, back to that hellhole those monsters had left him in to die.

  Shaking off his dark train of thought, Jeff leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her hand. “Oh, honey, I wish I wasn’t talking alone here. I wish you could answer. I just want you back with me. Maybe soon, eh?”

  He lay his head on the edge of the bed and stayed like that for a long while.

  Chapter 7

  Thelma quietly stepped into her ICU patient’s cubicle to check Tish Buckner’s vital signs. She smiled when she saw that Dr. Kirby was resting with his head on the edge of his wife’s bed, his hand curled around hers. Except for a couple of quick meals, he hadn’t left her side, sitting there night and day, since he’d first arrived. Such devotion was wonderful to see in this day and age, Thelma thought as she walked around to the other side of the sickbed to check the blood pressure cuff.

  When she’d finished charting her readings, Thelma paused a moment to study the young man sleeping so soundly. Even though he needed a shave, he was certainly handsome, tall and well muscled. They were married yet had different last names, she’d noticed. A modern marriage, she supposed. Still, only a devoted husband would hang around a comatose spouse around the clock.

  As she continued staring at him, he smiled in his sleep. Probably dreaming of happier times, Thelma decided, and left the cubicle as soundlessly as she’d entered.

  Jeff was back in happier times, but he wasn’t dreaming. He was remembering their time together at the Red Rock Ranch in Arizon…

  They’d ridden their mounts to their favorite spot, a large overhanging cottonwood tree alongside the cool mountain stream. It was late afternoon and Jeff and Tish were several miles from the Red Rock Ranch, off the beaten track, safe from prying eyes since no one used the somewhat overgrown trail leading to this little corner of paradise, as Jeff had begun to call it. Here they could be alone, could talk to one another without being overheard, could touch and look their fill of one another. Could even make love, the area was that private.

  They’d taken to riding out nearly every evening, knowing that soon this idyllic time would be over and they’d both go their separate ways. On this day, Jeff had been busy for hours helping Slim with his accounting books and he hadn’t seen Tish until they’d set out. Which was the reason he didn’t know why she seemed so lost in thought, almost melancholy.

  He waited until they’d spread out the large plaid blanket and set down the picnic basket Elsa by now was used to packing for them. Lying down on his side, Jeff patted the space next to him. “Come here, please. I want so badly to hold you.”

  Tish had wandered over to the stream’s edge, but walked back and sat down, a frown on her face, her eyes on her hands twisting a tissue.

  “What is it? Is something wrong?” Jeff asked, getting worried.

  “I was talking to Reggie earlier today,” she began.

  The big, boastful jerk was always hanging around her, Jeff knew, even though everyone else was aware that he and Tish were a couple now. “And what did our learned friend have to say?” When she didn’t answer and seemed to be searchi
ng for the right words, he sat up. “Did he say something to upset you?”

  “In a way.” She glanced off to the horizon, then finally swung her gaze to his face. “You see, Jeff, I’m—I’m—”

  Now he was getting nervous. “What? Just tell me.”

  “I’m thirty-six years old,” she finally blurted out, her brow wrinkled. “And Reggie told me you’re only twenty-four!”

  Jeff just stared at her. “Is that it?” He watched her slowly nod. “That’s what’s got you so upset?” He couldn’t help it. He laughed out loud, relief flooding through him as he pulled her into his arms. “You had me really worried there for a minute.”

  Tish eased back from him. “You should be worried. I can’t get involved with you, Jeff. Don’t you see? I’m twelve years older than you.”

  He was still smiling, still euphoric that her news was so minor. “So what? I don’t see the problem.”

  Her face was unsmiling, her brow creased with concern. “You don’t understand. People will say that I’m robbing the cradle. I’ve got an established position in SPEAR and you’re just starting out.”

  “Oh, come on. I’m not that young. I’ve finished college and medical school, my internship, am now working on my residency. Besides, what do you care what people think? My dad’s thirty-five, and married to a woman exactly my age, and things couldn’t be more perfect between them.”

  Her eyes were downcast. “Yes, if the man’s older it sometimes works. But when the woman’s older…”

  “It also works.” Jeff placed two fingers beneath her chin and tugged, making it impossible for her not to meet his serious gaze. “Listen, I’ve been looking for you all my life, Tish Buckner, and I’m not letting you go.”

  Her eyes on his darkened and she was quiet for some time, as if struggling with a difficult decision. “Don’t, then. Don’t let me go, not ever. I know it’s not the best thing, for either of us, to want you the way I do. The timing’s lousy. But I can’t help myself when it comes to you, and that’s never happened to me before. I’m usually in control of myself, but with you, I lose control the moment you touch me.”

  Jeff rose to his knees and brought her with him and they knelt that way, mere centimeters apart as he framed her lovely face with his big hands. “Go ahead, lose control.” Slowly, ever so slowly, he bent his head and grazed her lips with his, back and forth. Gently, he kissed her and she returned the slight pressure.

  He felt her small hands curl into the material of his shirt at his back as she drew him nearer, then gloried in the feeling of just holding her close. “You feel so good,” he whispered.

  “Mmm, so do you. How is it that no one else can make me feel so much?”

  “No one else better try.” His tongue traced the outline of her lips, then he kissed the corners of her mouth before trailing up her satin cheeks to kiss her eyes closed. She was swaying now and he kept them both steady as he returned to her waiting mouth and kissed her long and deeply. Jeff felt the passion she seemed to struggle to hide flare up instantly between them.

  He urged her closer, swallowing the small sound she made deep in her throat as his arms wound around her. The sun was sinking slowly behind the mountain, but he paid no attention. The stream alongside them ran swiftly over smooth rocks as it journeyed downhill, but Jeff didn’t hear the lapping water. His concentration was fully on Tish as he continued to assault her senses, nibbling at her lips, his hands beginning to explore, his tongue beginning to invade her mouth.

  Emotions warred within him, the unreasonable fear that he would lose her before he’d won her, pleasure and impatience and need. His need for her. Only her.

  He knew she was steeped in sensation as her mouth answered his, as her eyes closed to hold in the feeling, as the soft sounds she made urged him on. Jeff’s fingers fumbled with the buttons of her blouse, finally shoving the folds of the cotton cloth apart so his hands could cup her swollen breasts.

  Never breaking the kiss, he felt her hands unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it off his shoulders. When they were both naked to the waist, he pulled her to him, the soft pillows of her breasts rubbing against his solid chest. The erotic friction had his pulse pounding and his blood rushing like the racing stream nearby.

  Easing back from her, he waited until her eyes opened and he saw the hazy mists clear, then he thrust his hands into her hair, massaging her scalp with his blunt fingers. He heard her soft moan as she swayed in his arms and moved restlessly under his touch. He looked deeply into her eyes. “Tell me what you want me to do.”

  She hesitated only a moment. “This,” she said huskily as she pressed her mouth to his for a long, soul-shattering kiss. “And this.” She threaded her fingers along his broad chest, her fingers buried in the soft hair there, causing Jeff’s heart to stumble, then race.

  “You’re wearing too many clothes,” Jeff whispered.

  “Why don’t you do something about that?” she challenged.

  With a slow smile, Jeff lay her down on the blanket and made quick work of yanking off her boots, then her jeans and underthings. As always, he paused, struck anew at the beauty of her female form. The setting sun sent rays of gold and crimson and streaks of orange onto them, dappled by the leaves of the cottonwood as they fluttered in a light breeze.

  Tish seemed to hold her breath, no longer self-conscious under his lengthy study of her, her eyes challenging him to take her to the next plateau. But apparently she ran out of patience for she tugged him down and burrowed her breasts into him. A groan Jeff couldn’t prevent escaped from him as he nuzzled her neck. “Oh, yes, and this, too,” she whispered.

  Finally, Jeff lifted his head to trail hot kisses along her throat and lower, closing his lips over the peak of one breast. He could feel her heart thundering beneath his mouth. Leaning back, he covered both breasts with his hands, finding her small and firm, her skin soft as satin. He inhaled the sweet feminine fragrance of her and the urge to rush all but overwhelmed him. Consciously, he slowed his hands, his mouth.

  He wanted to take her up slowly, to make her half mad with need, crying out for him, opening to him. She deserved slow loving and an easy touch. Gently he came back to her lips and feasted there, drinking from her.

  When her hips arched in unconscious invitation, he took his mouth along her throat and traveled slowly downward, tasting the heady flavor of her breasts and brushing his face along the tender skin of her flat stomach. He caught her throaty moan as she closed her eyes on a sensual sigh.

  Her hair was spread on the plaid blanket in a wild tangle exactly as he imagined it in his restive dreams. Her eyes were misty with passion and her full mouth was swollen from his kisses. As he looked at her, she moved fitfully and reached a trembling hand to the waistband of his jeans. When he didn’t help her out, she tugged open the top snap and slipped her hand inside, her fingers closing around him.

  Jeff jolted at her touch, afraid it would all be over if he didn’t take control. Easing back, he shed the rest of his clothes and came back to run his hands along her strong, slender thighs. Gently caressing up and down, he kept his eyes on hers, aware that she’d wanted to take control. But not this time. Quickly, before she could react, he replaced his hands with his mouth.

  Stunned as the first waves ripped through her, a look of dazed pleasure registered on her face. Breathless, her hands clutched at his arms as she shook with the power of it. Before she was fully recovered, he drove her up again, watching her climb, watching a sensual flush infuse her face.

  This was what he’d been after, Jeff knew, to give her this mindless loss of self where no disturbing thoughts could intrude, where past problems were only wisps of smoke and where age differences mattered not at all. There was only here and now, this peaceful afternoon, this blanket that held two magic lovers. His thoughts centered totally on pleasing and being pleased, on letting go of the world for at least a little while.

  And in so doing, finding each other, finding love.

  Coming back to earth, Ti
sh looked up at him and saw a smile play around his clever mouth. “Pleased with yourself, are you?”

  “I am. Do you want to stop or do you want more?”

  “I want more.” She opened her arms. “Come here.”

  More than ready, Jeff poised himself above her. “Don’t close your eyes.” He wanted her to watch as he joined with her. And when he finally did, she arched to meet him, her body straining to get closer, closer. He found the rhythm and saw she was perfectly attuned to him, keeping up, moving with him.

  He drove himself into her with a fierceness he’d never experienced before. He watched her eyes try to stay focused on his, until they finally drifted shut as a stunning peak shoved her over the edge. Unable to hold back another moment, he let himself follow.

  Jeff awoke from a dream, a good dream, and reluctantly opened his eyes. After his sweet recollection of their lovemaking at the Red Rock, he’d finally drifted to sleep. He was in Tish’s hospital cubicle, his head on the edge of her bed, his neck hurting from the awkward position. Leaning back, he rose to rub the back of his neck and saw that Tish hadn’t moved. He let out a frustrated sigh.

  He picked up the small bottled water he’d brought in and drank deeply. His watch told him he hadn’t been asleep all that long, yet his body felt as if he’d been in that contorted position awhile. Wishful thinking, hoping the hours would rush by so now it would be time for her to wake up. So he could talk with her. So they could get on with their lives.

  Feeling out of sorts, angry at the circumstances and the traitor whose selfish, diabolic agenda had caused the woman Jeff loved to be so badly injured, he strolled back to her bedside and tried not to let his feelings transmit themselves to her. He stood staring down at her frail body, her lovely features. “If wishes were horses, honey,” he whispered, “you and I would be riding off into the sunset right now.” Wearily, he left her cubicle.