JOSS: A Standalone Romance (Gray Wolf Security)

by Glenna Sinclair

  I waited for him to say something. Waited for him to admit how wrong he’d been. Or maybe tell me I’d been wrong. But he didn’t say anything.

  I went to the bed and unzipped my suit bag, pulling out a silky red dress Lisa encouraged me to buy in the weeks after our split, during the spat of blind dates she forced me to go on.

  “I hope you were done in the bathroom,” I said over my shoulder as I went inside and locked the door behind me.

  The strength poured out of me as I leaned against the door, but I managed to keep it in until I was standing under the heavy spray of water. And then I collapsed against the wall, sobs tearing me apart as all the grief I’d thought I’d finally put behind me returned with a vengeance.

  I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t be near him and not want it all back, all the tenderness and the intimacy, the emotions I’d thought we shared and the future I’d taken for granted. I couldn’t pretend to be his contented young wife and not cross over that line that I’d so willingly jumped over all those months ago.

  But I had no choice, did I?

  Chapter 18

  When I came out of the bathroom a little less than an hour later, Miles was sitting on the couch in the sitting room, scrolling through the channels on the television. I hadn’t even realized there was a television, let alone that you could get television reception out in the middle of the ocean. Technology wasn’t my thing.

  Miles looked up, his eyes moving over me just like they had that night at the gala. If I was the same person I had been then, I would have blushed with pleasure. But I wasn’t that girl anymore.

  I brushed past him as I finished stowing the bare necessities in my clutch—lipstick, small bills, my ID—and pulled the door open like I intended to go with or without him. But he was behind me before I expected him to be, his hand on the small of my back, his presence a heat that was unavoidable. I walked quickly, hoping to put a little space between us, but he kept up without even breathing hard. It took until we were at the stairs that led up to the main deck before I realized how futile this stupid game was.

  “I think you’ll enjoy yourself tonight,” Miles said close to my ear.

  The last time I heard that, Lisa had set me up with a friend of a friend of one of her brothers. It was the last date I let her set me up on. After six disasters, I was done.

  The first was an accountant Lisa thought I would like because accounting is business, right? No. He was so in love with numbers that was all he talked about. He spent so much time on imaginary numbers that I actually learned some stuff I hadn’t in my college calculus class. But there was nothing romantic about that date.

  The second was a relief bartender she met at the bar where she works. He was gorgeous—hmm, the abs on this guy were Hollywood inspired!—but the only thing he seemed interested in talking about was his high score on some game called Age of Mythology.

  The third was one of Lisa’s brothers, Ryan. That wasn’t really her set up, it was more me going to her house to cry on her shoulder and discovering that the only one home was her oldest brother who was visiting while the school where he teaches in San Antonio was on spring break. And that was a really nice date. Only going out with Lisa’s brother was like going out with my own brother, so it was vaguely incestuous.

  The fourth…well, that one was actually kind of nice, too. It was a guy named Dominic whom Lisa and I met while we were having lunch during a shopping spree. He was handsome and smart and charming. He took me to an expensive restaurant and then a play in Dallas. We even laughed, something I felt I hadn’t done much of up to that point. I really thought we hit it off, but I didn’t hear from him again after that night, so I guess we didn’t.

  Five was a doctor who turned out to have a wife and kids at home.

  The sixth was…well, that date lasted all of fifteen minutes, so he’s not even worth mentioning. Thanks a lot, Ryan. I kind of think he might have suggested this guy to Lisa to get revenge on me for refusing to go out with him again.

  So, when someone said, I know you’ll have a good time, I tended to be skeptical.

  But then we turned into the dining room and familiar faces seemed to be all around me. Joan was standing just inside the room. She held out her hands to me and smiled.

  “Hello, Riley,” she said. “It’s lovely to see you.”

  “You too, Joan,” I said most sincerely.

  And then I heard a squeal and Lisa was suddenly in front of me. She threw her arms around me and rocked me back and forth.

  “Happy birthday, kiddo,” she said in my ear. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that the two of you are getting back together. You were so miserable.”

  I stepped back and stared at her. “What are you doing here?”

  “That would be my doing,” Miles said, touching the back of my neck as he slid up behind me again.

  “And mine.”

  Colin moved up behind Lisa, sliding a possessive arm around her waist. My eyebrows rose as I stared at Lisa.

  “It’s a long story,” she said. “It’s part of the reason I set you up on so many dates. I felt so bad being this happy while you were so miserable.”

  “Dates?” Miles asked. “I don’t think we talked about that.”

  “You didn’t need to know,” Lisa said with a teasing smile.

  Colin shrugged. “I do what she tells me to do.”

  “Very obedient,” Miles said, laughter in his voice. I glanced at him, caught a little off-guard by that easy tone. I hadn’t heard it in so long, except in my dreams. Yet, it still had this power over me that made my bones melt and filled me with a rage that made my fingers curl into claws.

  Colin turned Lisa and led the way to the main table where each night the captain would invite a selection of guests to join him. Tonight Miles, Joan, Colin, Lisa, and I were the chosen ones. The captain stood as we approached and shook Miles’ hand. Miles introduced the rest of us, and the captain did the same with his staff. Then we settled down to a decadent meal of salmon, asparagus, and a lovely chocolate mousse.

  Lisa sat beside me, stealing my hand with an excited squeeze. “Can you believe we’re here? When Miles suggested it, I was so excited I almost texted you until I remembered I wasn’t supposed to tell you.”

  “How long have you been talking to Miles?”

  She shrugged, the movement lacking the tension that came into her expression when she caught the look on my face.

  “It’s only been a few weeks. Three at the most.”

  “And my aunts?”

  “He met with them at my mom’s house two weeks ago.”

  All this time everyone in my life was lying to me. I knew they thought they were doing a good thing, but the sense of betrayal was very real.

  “My mom flew in to be with your aunts. They are well taken care. In fact, I got a text just a little while ago. They were walking on the beach, having the time of their lives.”

  I just nodded.

  A plate of food was laid in front of me, but I had no appetite for it. I picked up my fork and dragged it through the salmon, separating the various layers but not lifting any to my lips. I didn’t think Miles noticed—I didn’t think anyone really noticed—because everyone seemed to be deep in conversation about one thing or another. The most popular topic of conversation was how great the renovations LMR, Inc. did to the ship were. Apparently, everyone else had been on the ship most of the day. I had no comment because I hadn’t seen anything more than the suite I was being forced to share with Miles.

  But then Miles leaned close and whispered, “You should eat.”

  “Not hungry.”

  “It’s going to be a long night.”

  “It already has been.”

  Miles studied my face for a second, but he didn’t say anything else. I almost wished he had. A part of me wanted him to say something offensive, something that would give me cause to turn on him, to say some of the hurtful things that were still burning inside of me. Yet, a part of me was glad he hadn’t
said anything more. I had to live with this man for the next three days. We had to be nice if we were going to survive this. However, the moment we docked in Spain, all gloves were off.

  I needed some air. The moment dinner was over and everyone began to leave their seats, I slipped out a side door. I didn’t know where I was going, but I needed to get outside. Luckily, I turned the right way in the corridor and found myself on the main deck. I went to the rail and leaned over, gaining a little relief as the breeze of the ship’s movement forced itself against my burning cheeks. I closed my eyes and sighed.

  “A little stuffy in there, wasn’t it?”

  I turned around and tripped over my toes, nearly falling into the arms of a stranger. But then I stepped back and realized he wasn’t a complete stranger.

  “Dominic?”

  “Hello, Riley.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Taking a cruise, just like you. Though I wasn’t lucky enough to be invited to the captain’s table.”

  “Were you in there?”

  “I was. I saw you the moment I walked through the door, but—despite the desperation of my stare—you never looked in my direction.”

  “Sorry. I was a little wrapped up in my own thoughts.”

  “Not bad thoughts, I hope.”

  I started to shrug, but then a thought slipped through my mind. “You never called me.”

  “I know. And I’ve regretted it ever since.” He moved up against the rail, staring out at the emptiness of the calm sea. “I got really busy with work, and then it seemed too late to call.”

  “You shouldn’t have worried about that. I’m not one of those girls who demands a certain adherence to rules.”

  “That’s good to know.” He glanced at me, then straightened as he spotted something behind me. “But you seem to have moved on.”

  I turned just in time to see Miles storm by me and grab Dominic by the collar.

  “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “Same thing as everyone else,” Dominic said, holding up his hands to show he meant Miles no harm. “Just taking a cruise, friend.”

  “Then why are you out here with her?”

  “We know each other. Don’t we, Riley?”

  Miles glanced back at me even as his hold on Dominic tightened. I could hear the distinctive sound of Dominic’s shirt ripping.

  “Let him go, Miles,” I said, grabbing his arm. “We were only talking.”

  “About what?”

  Dominic glanced between the two of us and began to laugh. “Haven’t you told your husband about our lovely little date?”

  Hurt flashed across Miles’ face, even as he turned back to Dominic, shoving him so hard against the rail that his arms flailed for a second as he bent backward at the waist.

  “Stay away from her. Do you hear me? I catch you near her again, nothing will stop me from tossing you over this rail.”

  “And what happened to all that insisting that you were nothing like your brother?”

  The color disappeared from Miles’ face as he let Dominic go. However, Dominic wasn’t done yet.

  “If I were you,” he said, gesturing toward me, “I’d stay as far away from the Thorn brothers as possible.” Then he focused on Miles again as he straightened his shirt. “My father may have made peace with you, but I haven’t. And I plan to make sure you pay for everything you and your brother did to my sister.” Then he walked away, but not before slamming his shoulder into Miles’ side.

  I watched him go, my hands shaking as I tried to comprehend what’d just happened. And then Miles grabbed me, shoving me hard enough against the rail that my teeth rattled.

  “Stay away from him, do you hear me? I don’t care what he says or what he does, don’t go anywhere near him without me or Colin with you. Do you understand?”

  “Why?”

  “Never mind why. Just do what I tell you.”

  And that was when the damn broke.

  “No,” I said between gritted teeth. “I won’t just do what you tell me. I’m tired of you deciding everything for me. I’m tired of the secrets and the lies and the crap that you hide behind. I won’t just take your word for it anymore. I want to know why.”

  “If I won’t tell you?”

  “Then I’ll go ask him.”

  Miles’ expression hardened like a stone, only the smallest muscle in his jaw showing any sign of emotion. He stared at me for a long minute, and then he stepped back. I thought he was letting me go so I could go talk to Dominic, but then he grabbed my hand and pulled me close to him, speaking almost directly into my ear.

  “I’ll tell you everything you want to know. But right now we have to go back inside. There are reporters here who expect me to make an appearance at the evening dance.”

  “What if I don’t want to go?”

  A weariness washed over Miles’ face. “I’m doing the best I can, Riley. I need you to work with me a little.”

  “Why?”

  He touched my face with the back of his fingers. “I missed your stubbornness. Can you believe that? But now…”

  I was a little stunned by the idea that he’d missed anything about me. I wanted to believe—I mean, he’d seemed really angry at the idea that Dominic and I had gone out—but after the unceremonious way he’d kicked me out of his house, how could I trust anything he did or said?

  I stepped back, forcing my mind back to the tangibles in this situation. He held the deed to my aunts’ house. If I wanted to get it from him, I had to play along.

  “Okay,” I said. “Let’s go back inside.”

  Chapter 19

  Most of the diners had moved to the main hall of the ship where a live band was just beginning their first set of the evening. Liquor flowed freely and people were enjoying the wooden dance floor, laughter almost as loud as the deep bass beat. Lisa and Colin were already there, holding each other a little close for the tempo of the current song. Lisa spotted me and smiled as she waved, so much happiness radiating from her face that she probably could have powered the entire ship if someone could figure out how to harness emotion.

  Miles led me to the dance floor, but we continuously were stopped by people wanting to introduce themselves. Some were just regular passengers who recognized him from the press he received from his family connections, others were reporters who wanted to arrange a time for an interview. Joan came to our rescue, doing her best to lead people away and take charge of his social calendar.

  I’d forgotten what it was like to go out in public with Miles. It was never a simple dinner out or a quiet party among friends. It was always a public relations affair, a game in which we had to be the perfect players or regret it in the morning. It was stressful. But, again, the feel of his hand on the small of my back was actually kind of delicious. And that familiar scent of wood and spices made me want to take a deep breath as he swung me into his arms.

  “How long do we have to stay?”

  “Anxious to be alone with me?” he asked, a bit of a twinkle in his eye.

  “No. Just tired of the bullshit.”

  He touched a finger to my lips. “What a mouth you’ve developed.”

  “Yes, well, you have that effect on people.”

  “I’m sure I’ve affected you in other ways, as well.”

  “Don’t we have a bit of a big head?”

  “Be honest,” he said softly as he stared into my eyes, “you missed me.”

  “I missed the man I thought you were. But I was clearly wrong, now wasn’t I?”

  “Don’t be so sure.”

  He drew me closer to him, so close that there wasn’t even room for a stray hair to wander between us. And then he kissed me, his lips barely brushing my lips before he drew my bottom lip between his teeth. It reminded me of that night at the gala, the night he told me my lip belong to him. It was the first time I really believed there might be a chance for us, that he might actually see me as more than the convenient girl who filled some crazy need in his
life. For a month, I really thought he was the man I’d waited most of my life to come and rescue me from my sad, orphaned life and take me on some wild adventure, like all those princes in all those Disney fairy tales.

  But he made it pretty clear that wasn’t the case.

  I turned my head, trying to ignore the tears that were welling in my eyes. And, wouldn’t you know it, I just happened to turn in the right direction to watch Claire walk into the room in a crazy, tight, sexy, blue cashmere dress.

  What the hell was she doing here?

  Miles seemed oblivious to our audience as his hand slowly moved over the length of my back. But Claire wasn’t oblivious. She was watching with naked jealousy written all over her perfect features.

  “Why is she here?”

  “Who?”

  I straightened, my eyes meeting Miles’ again. “Claire.”

  He glanced in the direction I indicated with a little toss of my head and his jaw instantly tightened, that muscle flexing again.

  “I don’t know,” he said, his voice hard and low.

  “Is Robert here, too?”

  “I don’t know,” he repeated. “He’s not supposed to be.”

  “Is she here for you?”

  There was honest surprise in his eyes when he looked at me. “What do you mean?”

  I shrugged. “It’s pretty obvious she’s still in love with you.”

  Miles grunted. “She was never in love with me.”

  I looked over at Claire again and watched as she snatched a glass of champagne from a passing waiter’s tray and tossed it down with a single gulp.

  “I think you’re deluding yourself there just a touch.”

  “She married my brother, Riley.”

  “Did you ever ask yourself why?”

  He laughed quite bitterly. “Because they were having a fucking affair the whole time she and I were together?”

  “Who has the dirty mouth now?”

  He pulled me closer to him at the same time he buried his fingers in my hair, tugging my head back. “I don’t give a shit what Claire thinks or feels or wants. All I can think about right now is how much I’d like to get you back to our room and test out the mattress on that impossibly large bed.”