Then Comes Marriage

by Bonnie Pega

  “Zac, you should stop this,” she protested weakly, but he rested his lips against hers, swallowing her protest.

  “Maybe I should, but I don’t think I can,” he murmured against her mouth, and unbuttoned the top button of her dress. He undid the next button and ran the back of his hand down inside along the lacy edge of her bra.

  Libby wriggled on his lap again, this time oblivious of the physical effect it was having on him, too caught up in the physical effect he was having on her. “Zac,” she breathed. “I don’t know about this.”

  “I do,” he muttered hoarsely. “Leave it all to me.” He unbuttoned a third button on her dress, then a fourth, and slid his hands underneath the bodice of her dress to unhook her bra. When the clasp popped free, he splayed his hands over the smooth skin of her back, his fingers pressing into the soft flesh. Her eyelids fluttered, then closed, and Zac bent his head down to hers.

  It might have been easier to say no had he tried a deep, passionate kiss right away, but he didn’t. Instead, he outlined her mouth with the tip of his tongue, nibbled at the fullness of her bottom lip, then nipped her chin lightly before leaving a trail of warm kisses along her jaw to her ear.

  He took her earlobe between his teeth and toyed with the gold hoop a moment before nuzzling his way back to her waiting mouth. There he moved his lips over hers in a kiss of the gentlest persuasion, but one that would take only the fullest surrender.

  With a faint moan—of protest? of capitulation?—Libby opened her mouth to his and his tongue swirled in, over and around hers. Her hands fastened on his shoulders and her head slowly fell back, inviting him to investigate the creamy-smooth skin of her throat, which he did with exacting thoroughness.

  He pressed hungry kisses along her collarbone, then along the swell of her breasts, while his hands smoothed the dress from her shoulders. Funny, he found himself thinking hazily, not only did her skin have the smoothness of cream, it tasted like it—rich, sweet. Addictive.

  Her dress fell to her waist and Zac slid the satin straps of her lacy bra down her arms, following behind with his lips. When her bra, too, dropped away, Zac moved his lips to taste this new territory, only he got a mouthful of tissue.

  “Wha—?”

  His exclamation was like a cold wind blowing away the fog that had engulfed Libby’s reason, and she froze for one brief moment before hastily pulling up her dress and sliding from Zac’s lap.

  To her relief, Zac didn’t try to stop her, but he did keep an arm around her shoulders. She could feel the deep, steadying breaths he drew in—or was it her? “How’d I get the tissue in my mouth?” he finally asked with the faintest twinkle in his eye.

  Heavens, she was mortified! She knew she had to be blushing this time. She muttered, “I stuffed it in my bra in case I leaked.”

  “In case what leaked?” Zac looked mystified, then his face suddenly cleared as awareness dawned. “Oh. Does that happen often?”

  Libby didn’t meet his eyes as she hastily put herself to rights. “Almost never now, but it did the first three or four weeks. Sometimes even hearing the cry of a baby on television triggered it.”

  “Must be inconvenient.”

  “It can be when it happens. It can be really embarrassing. Like I said, it almost never happens now, though.” She was rambling and she knew it. “I just didn’t want to take any chances,” she finished lamely. Libby buttoned her top button and stood, brushing her hands down the front of her dress.

  “So what triggered it this time?”

  “I don’t know. I was just thinking about you and—” she stopped dead. With any luck at all, maybe he hadn’t heard what she said. She watched as a self-satisfied smile curved his lips. No such luck. Well, with this indecently thick white carpet, maybe she could just hide between the fibers. “I think it’s about time I went home.”

  “If that’s what you want.” Zac stood, still smiling, though he didn’t comment on her verbal slip. “Don’t worry, Libby, you’re safe. For now anyway. But I’m not going to stop, baby. I think we know each other plenty well. And I know you well enough to know I want you. I want you a helluva lot.”

  “Is wanting enough for you?”

  “It has to be. I don’t have time for wives and kids and picket fences for a few years yet. And I doubt I’ll ever have time for kids. They take too much—too much time, too much energy. Anyway, kids and I don’t get along.”

  “I’ll consider myself warned,” Libby quipped lightly, though her heart sank at his words. “Although maybe you should consider yourself warned too. I can be very persuasive. And I think you and kids could eventually get along just fine.”

  “Then I’ll look forward to you trying to persuade me. It could get very interesting.”

  Libby looked at him for a moment, then said soberly, “Is it worth pursuing, Zac?”

  “A relationship?”

  She nodded. “We’re so different. You don’t like kids and I have a daughter. You don’t want to marry anytime soon, and I believe in marriage.”

  “Even after Bobby.”

  “Even after Bobby. It’s not marriage that was the problem between him and me; it was that Bobby wasn’t ready for it yet.”

  “I’m not either.”

  “Maybe not. That’s why I want to know if it’s worth pursuing.”

  Zac fell silent as he appeared to consider the question. “There’s something special between us, Libby. Something compelling enough that I think it ought to be explored. I really want to see you again.”

  “I—I don’t know. I need some time to think. Can you take me home now?”

  Silence reigned again as he drove her home and, as on the way to his apartment, it was a silence full of the unspoken. Only this time, instead of awareness, it was swimming with confusion, wariness, and frustration.

  “You don’t have to see me to the door,” Libby said when he pulled into her driveway.

  “I wouldn’t do it any other way.” He took her elbow as they headed up the sidewalk. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  She shook her head. “Give it some time, okay? Give me some time.”

  In answer, Zac pulled her to him and devoured her mouth in a deep, drugging kiss. Like a hurricane, he stormed in and laid siege to her senses with swirling caresses and torrential kisses. He pulled away. “That’s all the time you’re going to get.” He released her suddenly and stalked off to his car, leaving her shaky and weak. If she hadn’t been holding on to the door frame, she’d have fallen to her knees. The only consolation she had was knowing that his face looked as shattered as she felt.

  SEVEN

  He called the next day, as he’d promised, only he caught Libby in the middle of Victoria’s bath time, so she didn’t have time to say more than a few words while she struggled to hang on to a slippery, squirming baby.

  In the clear light of day, with her now-dry and sleepy daughter snuggled in her arms, she felt better about her decision to cool things a bit with Zac. It didn’t help her resolve to hear him on the phone, though. One word in that soft voice and her resolve—as well as her knees—turned to oatmeal.

  He was so persuasive, so compelling, that every time she heard his voice she could feel it pulling her as surely as if he were a magnet and she were a piece of iron. When he called her later that afternoon, Libby found herself making an excuse not to talk. She had a feeling Zac knew it was an excuse.

  He called back at nine that evening. “Um, I was just putting the baby to bed, so this isn’t a good time,” Libby said.

  There was a long pause on the other end of the line. “Should I make an appointment to call back?” he asked in exasperation.

  “Look, Zac, I told you last night, I wanted some time. We want two different things out of a relationship. You want—”

  “Hot sex?”

  “Would you please stop finishing my sentences for me? But, yes, that’s what you want. I want more. I want a future. And right now I’m not sure whether I can risk a relationship with you—with
any man—who can’t give me that.”

  “This isn’t over between us, baby, not by a long shot. But if you want time, then you’ve got it. I just can’t guarantee how much I’m going to give you.” The line went dead as he hung up the phone and Libby sighed with relief. And with regret.

  Zac called her two days later. He asked about the baby and mentioned an all-night sci-fi film festival that was going to be on television Friday. Libby expected him to ask her to watch it with him and had excuses all ready, only he didn’t ask. When she hung up the phone, she flopped down on the sofa and stared at Victoria. “How do you like that?” she muttered to the baby, who sucked her pacifier and kicked her feet in the air.

  “I’m so confused. I tell him to give me some space, and when he does, I’m not happy about it. What would you do, Cupcake? What would you do?”

  Victoria accidentally caught her finger in her pacifier and pulled it out of her mouth. After a surprised look, she began to whimper. Libby gave a sympathetic sigh and replaced the pacifier. “I know exactly how you feel.”

  By Friday night, when Zac hadn’t called again, Libby was toying with the idea of calling him. She considered him a friend, she reasoned with herself. He had delivered her baby. Certainly that gave them some ties. What was wrong with one friend calling another?

  She quickly dialed his number before she could change her mind, but all she got was his answering machine. She felt an unreasoning anger as she hung up the receiver—a little harder than necessary. For all his talk about “something between them,” it hadn’t taken him long to find a date for Friday night.

  After she’d put Victoria down to sleep, she decided to forego the usual chips and dip for a pint of ice cream, her favorite comfort food. Ordinarily, she would have had double Dutch chocolate, but since chocolate seemed to give Victoria colic, she settled for French vanilla. It was so calorie-rich, she could almost feel the weight settle on her hips. If she gained ten pounds, she was going to blame nobody but Zac.

  About fifteen minutes before the first science fiction movie came on, the phone rang.

  Libby picked up the receiver. “Hello?” For a moment Libby couldn’t hear anything but the sound of a baby’s agitated cries, then she heard a muffled “Libby?”

  “Zac?”

  “Libby, I need help!” he said desperately. “Nicky’s been screaming two hours straight, and I don’t know what to do.”

  “Have you fed him?”

  “Yes, and I burped him and I’ve changed him and I’ve walked the floor the past hour with him. Libby, you’ve got to help me. I’m going deaf in one ear and Hannah’s damn cat is starting to snarl at me every time I walk by it.”

  “What do you want me to do?”

  “What? I can’t hear you over the baby. Can you speak up?”

  Libby spoke louder. “What do you want me to do?”

  “Can you come over to Hannah’s and help me figure out what to do? Please, Libby, I’m getting desperate.”

  “Where’s Hannah?”

  She heard a crash over the phone and the word cat bordered on either side by curses. “What?” he yelled into the phone.

  The questions had better wait until later. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” She stared at the phone for a moment after she’d replaced the receiver. Zac hadn’t sounded this harried in the hospital—not even when he’d delivered her baby.

  Libby hurriedly exchanged her robe for jeans and a T-shirt. She put the baby in the car seat, thankful that she hadn’t awakened; Victoria had been fretful earlier that evening.

  She’d been to Hannah’s only once since they’d met in the Lamaze class, but didn’t have any trouble finding it. After she turned onto Peterson Street, all she had to do was look for Zac’s bright red BMW.

  The front door opened as soon as she got out of her car and Zac strode out. “Thank God you could get here. I hope he’s not sick or anything. He just keeps yelling.”

  She unfastened Victoria from the car seat and handed her to Zac. “Hold her while I get her things.”

  Zac stared down at the quietly sleeping baby lying in his outstretched hands. “Uh, Libby? I don’t think this is such a good idea.”

  “Nonsense. You’ll do fine. We need to work on the way you’re holding her, though, but let me go check on Nicky first.”

  Hoisting the diaper bag, Libby headed into the house, leaving Zac to follow, still holding the baby out in front of him. As soon as she walked in the door, she was assailed by the frantic cries coming from the bassinet in the corner.

  She went straight to the baby. Poor thing. She felt his head. He was flushed and sweaty, but that wasn’t from a fever. It was partly from crying, mostly because he was bundled so snugly.

  “Why do you have so many covers on him?” Libby asked as she removed two baby blankets. “Good heavens! Zac, you’ve dressed him in a flannel snowsuit! What in the world were you thinking of?” She unsnapped the fuzzy garment and removed it. Already the baby’s cries were sounding less shrill.

  “He wet all over his other thing,” Zac said defensively. “I just put him in the first thing I grabbed out of the drawer. Is he all right?”

  “I think he’s fine.” She picked Nicky up and put him on her shoulder. She cooed to him for a few minutes and patted his back, and he quieted down. Within a few more minutes he was nodding against her neck. When Libby carried him to his room to tuck him in, Zac sat on the sofa, Victoria still straddled across his hands.

  He stared down at the baby. She looked like a doll in a pink romper. She was making little sucking motions with her lips, even in her sleep, and her long doll-like eyelashes fluttered. Zac felt a funny clutching in his chest. Could’ve been indigestion, he supposed, but he was afraid it was something else, something that could change his life completely.

  Libby came out of the baby’s room, shutting the door behind her. “I think he’ll sleep for a while. Now, tell me how you wound up baby-sitting? Hannah must have used pretty heavy guns to get you to agree.”

  “You want to take the baby?” he asked hopefully, but she made no move to. Instead, she sat in the chair next to the sofa and crossed her legs. He couldn’t help but spend a moment appreciating the way the soft, faded denim molded itself to her long, well-shaped legs. Then his gaze fell to the snug leather boots hugging her slim ankles. Nice. Sexy. Not as sexy as her dainty bare toes, but sexy nonetheless. He wondered if she still had that pink polish on her toenails?

  “Hannah had to drive into Pittsburgh to talk to someone about Homebodies—you know, the errand-running and shopping service she’s starting up. Then she wanted to meet an old sorority sister for dinner and asked if I’d sit with Nicky. She said he’d probably sleep, but if he woke up, all I’d have to do was give him a bottle, burp him, and he’d go right back to sleep. He didn’t.”

  “Well, he’s okay now and almost asleep. But there’s something you might want to keep in mind for future baby-sitting jobs—”

  “I don’t intend for there to be any more!” he said with such vehemence that Victoria started. He stared down at her, hardly daring to breathe, while she moved her arms and sighed, apparently deciding whether or not to wake up. When she settled back down, he continued. “I told you, I’m no good with kids. I don’t know why I ever thought I could do this.”

  “It might help if you held the baby right.”

  “What’s wrong with the way I’m holding her?”

  “She’s not exactly a sack of potatoes, Zac. Babies need to feel safe and secure. If that’s the way you’ve been holding Nicky, it’s no wonder he’s been screaming bloody murder. Hold her close to you, like this.” She showed him how to nestle the baby next to his chest. “Now wrap your other arm around her too. See?”

  He cradled Victoria in his arms and looked down at her with such an intense expression on his face that Libby inexplicably felt tears sting her eyes. Why couldn’t he realize how natural he looked cuddling a baby in his arms. Cuddling her baby.

  “Like this?”
<
br />   “Just like that.” Libby said softly.

  Zac smiled. “This doesn’t seem so hard. You hold them next to you the way you’d hold a football when you’re running to the end zone.”

  Libby rolled her eyes. “Right. I take it you played high school football?”

  “One year of junior varsity, two years of varsity, and a year of college ball.”

  “Why only a year in college?”

  “I’d gone to college on an academic scholarship and football took up too much time.”

  The telephone let out a sharp jangle. “Grab that, would you?” Zac said hurriedly. “God, I hope it doesn’t wake up Nicky.”

  Libby stepped into the kitchen for a moment, then poked her head back around the edge of the door. “It’s Hannah.”

  “Tell her everything’s fine and find out what time she’ll be home,” Zac said.

  “He said to tell you everything’s fine and find out what time you’ll be home,” Libby repeated into the phone.

  “I’ll be home about midnight. Are you sure everything’s okay? Why are you there?”

  “Um, Zac, he thought I might want to come by and watch the sci-fi film fest on TV tonight.”

  “Where is he anyway?”

  “He’s on the sofa with Victoria.”

  “Holding her?” Hannah sounded incredulous.

  “Holding her.”

  “There might be hope for him yet, hmm?”

  “Maybe. Are you having a good time?”

  “Great,” Hannah said enthusiastically. “I’ll call you tomorrow and tell you about it. I think I’m really going to be able to get my business off the ground. I really do. It’ll be the first thing I’ve ever accomplished completely on my own. I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

  “What time will she be home?” Zac asked the minute Libby came back into the living room.

  “She said around midnight.”

  “Oh. Nicky’ll probably stay asleep. Don’t you think?”

  “Probably.” Libby looked down at her hands, then looked back up with a bright smile. “I guess I’d better go, then. Nicky’s fine and—”