License to Love Series:Trilogy (Contemporary Western Cowboy Romance)

by Rose, Amelia

  When she had gone back to pack up some of her things at her house, she had grabbed this jewelry box, unable to imagine living her life without it. That had been before Woody and that night in the barn. In the ten days since then she had hardly even thought about Kyle. It was as if the weight of his accident had finally faded from her shoulders.

  Now, however, as she sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the ring, she could almost feel the guilt come crashing back down over her. She put the ring on her finger and closed her eyes, thinking about the other life, the one that she had left behind in Wichita Falls.

  Her eyes still closed, she whispered good-bye and tucked the ring back into her jewelry case. She sighed. It felt good to have that weight finally dissolving, to be able to put that part of her life away in a forgotten jewelry container. Maybe it was about time for something different, maybe it was time to embrace the new possibilities in her life and stop living in the “what ifs” of life.

  *

  Woody had walked back to where he was storing his bike, intending to ride it around to the front door. However he now patted down his pockets only to realize that he’d left his keys and wallet on the nightstand. Smiling to himself, he started to whistle softly as he walked back toward the room.

  He approached the door and realized it was still ajar from when he’d left. He pushed it open and immediately saw Alyssa sitting on the edge of the bed, her eyes closed, and a single tear trailing down her cheek. Taking a step toward her, Woody reached out but then he stopped when he realized that she was wearing her wedding ring.

  He might not have noticed, but it glinted in the morning sunlight that slanted through the windows. The picture caught him completely by surprise. In fact Woody would not have believed it if you’d told him that it was possible to feel jealous of someone who was dead, but that was before he’d seen her crying over the ring. Now his insides felt enraged, but there was nothing there for them to lash out at.

  Grabbing his wallet and keys he walked out the door and back down the hall. Of course he knew that she still loved and cared for her husband, but seeing her grieve like that was different. He wasn’t sure what to think or how to react to someone who was so clearly pining over a dead man.

  True he’d been the one to tell her that they all lived with ghosts, but knowing that he could never equal the man who was gone was harder for him to process than he’d have thought. After all they were together for years, and the two of them had only been together for a few days. It was going to take time.

  Woody turned down the hallway and headed to the kitchen, so engrossed in his thoughts that he completely forgot that Shad and Clara didn’t know he’d been staying over with Alyssa. He walked in through the side entrance and heard Shad chuckling.

  “What?” Woody asked.

  “Oh, nothing,” Shad said smiling. “Clara and I just had a bet about when you two would decide to quit trying to hide the fact you were staying here at night.”

  Woody paused for a second before he realized what they were saying.

  “You mean, you’ve known all along?” Woody asked, his eyebrow arched in disbelief.

  Shad and Clara exchanged a knowing glance, both of them smiling at each other and giggling under their breath.

  Woody couldn’t help but to be lost in thought from their discovery. His bad mood was evaporating in the midst of their happiness. “Well then, how long were you going to force me to wake up at the crack of dawn and drive to work then?” Woody tried to joke in order to try to hide his pain.

  “As long as you inflicted it on yourself,” Shad said.

  “What he means,” Clara interrupted, putting a hand over Shad’s arm, “is that we didn’t want to intrude on your life. If you two weren’t willing to tell us what was going on, then we didn’t want to force the issue.”

  Woody nodded as he walked over to where Clara and Shad were sitting. “I thought we were doing so well but I know that she still has feelings for her husband. And I feel like I’m competing with a dead man.”

  Clara rounded the edge of the counter and hugged Woody, whispering in his ear. “Don’t worry about that. I can tell you that his ghost is fading every day that she spends with you.”

  “Thanks,” Woody whispered back before he dropped her hug.

  Shad studied Woody before he spoke. “Have you told her everything? Did you tell her about mom? Did you let her know that you didn’t want kids? Those are important things to a woman.”

  “He didn’t have to,” Alyssa’s voice broke through on the far side of the room and they all turned to look at her.

  “Sorry, I wasn’t trying to butt in on your personal life. I just…” Shad’s voice trailed off, as Woody started talking as well.

  “I forgot and came into the kitchen from the hallway on your side of the house. They figured out the rest,” Woody told her.

  Alyssa quietly walked into the room and grabbed a piece of toast from the counter before answering. “Well, I guess the good news is that you don’t have to worry about waking up before sunrise anymore.”

  Her smile was weak and Woody knew that walking in on that conversation had startled her but she was determined to throw it off. He knew she didn’t want to cause any problems for Clara before they had to go and see Chuck Sanders in court.

  “Why all this talk about us anyway?” Alyssa asked. “Aren’t we supposed to be getting ready to go to court and make a united front against this asshole?”

  Now it was Clara’s turn to have the false smile. “I had almost tricked myself into forgetting,” she told them. “Part of me is glad to be getting this first confrontation since the attack over with, but a large part of me is still unsure.”

  Shad stepped closer to her and put his arm across her shoulders, hugging her tightly to his chest before leaning down and kissing the top of her head.

  “That’s why we’re all going,” he reminded her. “So this isn’t something you have to do alone. We’ll go with you every day as long as you need us, won’t we?”

  Woody and Alyssa both nodded in agreement.

  Ten minutes later they were heading for the door, and Woody noticed that even though Clara was putting on a brave face, her hand had started to tremble a little. He looked over at Alyssa and thought of what he would do if something like that had happened to her. When he realized how much anger started to bubble up even at the mere hint or suggestion of such a thing he knew that he could no longer keep his own pain from her.

  She had told him everything about Kyle up front, but he hadn’t filled her in on his mother’s death. It was about time that was rectified. Once they were in the car, he turned to her.

  “After we are through with court I would like it if you would go somewhere with me,” Woody asked of Alyssa. “There’s something I need to show you.”

  Alyssa nodded. It was the slow understanding nod of someone who was unsure of what was going to happen, but she didn’t ask and he didn’t say anything else on the trip into town.

  *

  When they went into the courtroom they positioned themselves strategically around Clara with Shad on one side and Alyssa and Woody on the other. But when they marched Chuck Sanders into the courtroom wearing his orange jumpsuit as he shuffled in between two guards, Clara still grabbed Alyssa’s hand and clenched it in her sweaty fist.

  This was the first time Alyssa had seen him, and while she had expected the crazed madman that Clara had described, what she saw instead was entirely different. It looked as if he’d had a recent haircut, because his black hair was trimmed neatly and brushed back away from his eyes. He was tall and thin, but together his features reminded her more of an Ichabod Crane type character than a psychopath.

  But then he turned his eyes toward them and gave Clara a little half smile, and it was enough to cause her skin to crawl and her stomach to clench. In that brief moment she glimpsed how deep his insanity could run and she knew that the façade he was holding out for court was nothing more than a cheap mask that could
be dropped at any moment of his choosing.

  The judge entered shortly thereafter. He was a somewhat older, rotund man with black hair that was just beginning to grey at the temples. Everyone in the room stood when the bailiff called for all to rise. The disciplined uniformity of the move created quite a stir in the air. Even though there weren’t that many people in Stanhope, the county courthouse still managed to reach capacity as this trial was bigger than anything they had seen in ages. When they all sat again, the room was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop, even void of the occasional shuffling of feet or cough. Alyssa felt the walls closing in on her and for a moment she fought back the urge to flee in panic. Woody shifted in his seat and put his arm around her.

  She leaned into him, glad that they could finally be open about their relationship. The only butterflies in her stomach now were about this trial, and whatever it was that he wanted to talk to her about afterward. She studied him from the corner of her eye, hoping to catch just a glimpse or a clue about what was on his mind, but she was pulled back to the situation at hand by the judge’s loud voice.

  “Charles Sanders, you are accused of assault and battery, kidnapping, burglary, breaking and entering, and tampering with official police records. How do you plead?”

  The man that was seated next to Sanders rose to answer. Even though Alyssa had been told that this was the man’s step-brother, she could not believe that the two had come from the same home. The brother was just as tall, but where Chuck was lanky, this man was more filled in. His shoulders were relatively broad under his suit, and she speculated that he probably had to have them custom sewn, in order to get a good fit.

  His hair was a dirty blonde, and the contrast between that and his tanned skin was beautiful. There was nothing of resemblance between the two of them except the name.

  “My client pleads ‘not guilty’ by reason of mental disease or defect,” he said, and then turned to look down at his stepbrother. When he did, Alyssa noticed that he grimaced when he spoke, and there was more than a hint of distain in his slate grey eyes. Perhaps the family differences went even deeper than it seemed.

  “Bond?” The judge asked.

  They were seated directly behind the prosecutor, so when she stood up to respond to the judge’s inquiry she motioned to them. “The defendant has been accused of heinous crimes against Shad Brandt and Clara Roberts. We ask that he be remanded to the custody of the state until the trial.”

  The judge nodded and then turned to the defense. “Any rebuttals, counselor?”

  “No, your honor, we’re fine with remand as long as he can be treated for his psychiatric condition whilst in custody.”

  “Your honor,” the prosecutor interrupted, and Alyssa swung her attention back to the lady in the blue business suit. “Mr. Sanders has caused a lot of disruption and problems in Clara Robert’s life with the use of nothing more than the Internet. He is one of the best hackers that the FBI has record of. I feel that he should be severely limited on his social interaction as well as his access to technology from the outside. If he is released for psychiatric visits, then those need to be very closely monitored as well, to make sure that he has no access to any form of computer, including cell phones, e-readers, etc. Nothing is safe in the hands of a hacker who is as skilled as he is.”

  “We have no objection to that either,” the defense responded, “As long as he is able to get the mental health care he needs, we don’t object to it being spent in shackles in a place far away from any and all access to the Internet.”

  Alyssa looked at Chuck’s face while Sanders’ brother spoke. The entire room was tuned into what the lawyer was saying, but she caught sight of his brother’s face when he agreed to keep him confined and away from the Internet, and she knew that he was not happy with the situation. He’d been wearing a smile when he came into the courtroom, but now he was downright scowling at his brother’s agreement to the restrictions.

  The lines of his face were so contorted for a moment that Alyssa found herself somewhat concerned for the safety of Sanders’ brother. Then his face went slack again, and all traces of his aggression seemed to vanish. Alyssa almost would have thought she was imagining it, if he didn’t lean back a little and catch her looking at him. When she was trapped in his gaze, she knew that the rage she’d seen was real and that it was boiling over underneath his calm, placid exterior.

  Woody took in a sharp breath next to her, and she looked up at him, realizing that he had caught this most recent encounter as well. His jaw was firmly set, and she saw a small pulse on his neck. She knew that he was holding back his anger, and so she leaned into him and whispered.

  “It’s okay,” she reassured him while lightly patting his forearm. “He can’t do anything now.” Woody nodded, but he did not unclench his jaw for the remainder of the time they were in the courthouse.

  The rest of the time was spent hashing out the details for Sander’s schedule. The hearing concluded with the announcement that the court would reconvene the case in two weeks after he’d been through a full psychiatric workup. While nothing else eventful happened, Alyssa spent the remainder of the time thinking about that look of pure rage. She could only imagine what he would have done to Clara if Shad, Woody and the guards hadn’t been there to intervene.

  Without realizing it, she moved in closer to Woody and firmly rested her head on the side of his shoulder as the hearing ended. When he pulled her tightly to him, she sighed, content in knowing that she was finally finding her way in the world.

  Chapter 7

  Even as the final gavel bang echoed through the room, Woody found that he couldn’t relax completely. He had seen evil today, and for the first time in his life he found himself completely on edge. As they filed out of the courtroom, he took Alyssa by the hand and led her off to the side.

  “I told Shad that we would meet up with them after a little bit,” Woody told her.

  Alyssa brushed a stray piece of hair back behind her ear and nodded. “Does this have to do with what you wanted to show me?” she asked.

  “Yes,” was all he said, but when he turned and went to the car, she followed. He wasn’t sure what he was going to tell her.

  As they drove out to the cemetery they passed the place where Shad had first found Clara on the side of the road. Woody knew Shad had been visiting the graveyard that day even though he’d never told Woody. The only reason they were ever on this road was to visit the cemetery, so when Woody had come out to tow the car, he’d gone ahead and checked to find fresh flowers on the headstones.

  Now as he pulled up, he noticed there were more flowers in front of the joint headstone for their parents’ graves. It was not that Woody didn’t like to come out here, but every time he did so he had to come to grips with the date on his mother’s headstone. As they pulled up to the row where his parents were buried he took a deep breath and got out of the car.

  He didn’t look back to see if Alyssa got out as well, but he let out a pent up breath when he heard the car door close behind him. His vision blurred as the date came into view. Her death, his birthday intricately bound to each other.

  There were no words that would come to him, nothing he thought he could say that would help ease the problems his mother’s death had inflicted on his family. Because she had died giving birth to him, every mean word their father said, every time Melinda had to give up something to mother them, he had felt responsible.

  It was hard to mourn someone you didn’t even know and yet he had, every day of his entire life.

  Alyssa knelt down next to him in front of the tombstone and put her hand over his. She said nothing. After a few moments of silence Woody cleared his throat. He wasn’t sure where to start, so he pointed to the death date on his mom’s grave.

  “That’s my birthday,” Woody started. “My mom died from a hemorrhage and bled out shortly after I was born. The doctor didn’t find it until it was too late.”

  Woody fought back the tears as he continued. “It
was always so hard seeing what my family had to give up, seeing what they went through because of me. I always felt like I was more of a burden to them than anything else.”

  Woody looked into Alyssa’s eyes and took her hands as he told her the next part. “That fear of what happened to my family when I was born is why I have never considered having children. Every time I get in a relationship and the talk turns to family and kids, I cannot think of anything else except this date.”

  “Well then, I guess it’s good that we found each other,” Alyssa smiled and squeezed his hand. Instead of saying anything else or asking him a lot of questions, she just continued to sit next to him in silence.

  Woody thought about saying a thousand different things, thought about telling her that he’d thought about adoption, that there were so many other ways to build a family. But after a moment he realized that the silence was all that they needed, and it enveloped them as they sat in the afternoon sun. Thanks to Alyssa, Woody was at peace with his place in the world for the first time ever.

  *

  Alyssa opened one eye and groaned into the morning darkness. She started to push back the covers when Woody’s arm snaked out and clutched her to him.

  “Where are you going so early?” he murmured into her hair. She sighed and snuggled down into his embrace, his arousal becoming even more prominent as she did.

  “Nowhere I guess,” she laughed and turned toward him. “Especially if it means I have to leave these warm covers.”

  “Is that all you’re worried about leaving?”

  “No, these fluffy pillows are awfully nice too.” She smiled and then leaned down to kiss him. His hands slid down her back, cupping her bare bottom.

  “But seriously, I need to go take a shower. We’re supposed to go to that menu tasting for Clara and Shad today.” Alyssa reminded him as she climbed out of the bed and slipped into the bathroom.