Thrive

by Krista Ritchie

  I thought that after the Celebrity Crush re-poll and positive effect of the reality show, these rumors would be put to rest. Not only that—but I would’ve never taken a quick condom pit stop for both Lo and Ryke if I knew the media was still buying into the rumors.

  “Is this for you?” the attendant asks, eyeing the condoms and then the two guys. And me. Holy shit. Out of all bad ideas, this is a horrible one.

  “No,” I cut in, wedging myself beside Lo. “We don’t want those anymore. And we’d like to buy all of these.” I start piling all the tabloids up on the counter.

  “Not this again,” Ryke groans.

  “Lily—” Lo starts.

  “You don’t understand,” I snap. “You were eighty-eight percent, Lo. This shouldn’t be happening.”

  “So you don’t want the condoms?” the attendant asks, confused.

  “Yes, we want them,” Ryke says.

  “No, we don’t,” I refute. “Just the magazines.” I empty the shelves and slide my card on the counter.

  “For fuck’s sake, Lily,” Ryke snaps. “I’ll let you buy your fucking tabloids, but at least let me buy my condoms. I don’t want to have to go back out.”

  “Fine,” I surrender. “The condoms too.” My neck heats. “But just so you know, we’re all three not sleeping together. These are wrong.” I slap my hand on the stack of tabloids. “He needs the condoms for other girls.”

  “She gets it, love,” Lo says.

  The attendant swipes my card, looking freaked out by me. I don’t care. All I want is for people to listen to the truth—is that too much to ask?

  Lo sidles up behind me and wraps his arms around my shoulders. “She’s very protective of me,” he tells the attendant. “It’s sweet actually, when she’s not going bat-shit crazy, that is.”

  The attendant smiles warmly, and I punch Lo in the arm. “I’m not crazy.”

  His eyes soften in an apology. “I know.”

  I carry the large stack of magazines in my hands, Lo and Ryke refusing to help on principle. The drive home is layered in awkward tension. I start reading the articles, and my anger only escalates. The word nymphomaniac sets me on edge. I’ve always identified with being an addict, and calling me a nympho makes it harder to argue that sex addiction is real. So many people claim sex addiction is used to excuse people of their philandering ways. And that’s not what this feels like at all.

  By the time Lo pulls into the driveway, I’m fuming.

  I jump out of the car only a second before it stops moving. “Wait up, Lily!” Lo yells at me. But I’m on a mission.

  Brett and Savannah appear out of nowhere, but I’m sure they were waiting for us to come home. Their cameras zip to me and flash to Lo and Ryke. I walk past in a hurry.

  “You’re being overdramatic!” Ryke screams at me.

  I open the door. “I’m not being overdramatic!” I yell back. Okay, that was a little dramatic. I storm into the kitchen, shifting the magazines so they don’t fall over.

  I make it to the sink and toss them right in. Perfect. Then I bend down to a bottom cupboard where Lo keeps the lighter fluid for the grill outside. I take it out and start squirting the pile of magazines.

  “Whoa!” Lo and Ryke yell together. They rush me all at once, and then I feel someone else pry the plastic squirt bottle from my hand.

  Connor.

  Where the hell did he come from?

  Lo draws me to his chest, his hands snug around my waist in comfort, but I hardly calm down. I just want to destroy the thing that has hurt me. If I can’t reply to the reporters or the comments, I might as well take it out on the actual magazines.

  My older sister suddenly appears, tossing the soiled magazines in a large trash bag. Dammit. I struggle in Lo’s arms, hoping to reach at least a single tabloid and set it on fire.

  It’s clear by his firm grip that he’s not letting me go.

  “What’s going on?” Connor asks. His calm voice hardly instills tranquility. Tears threaten to rise, so helpless and angry, a toxic mixture that burrows nasty emotions inside of me.

  “People suck!” I scream.

  Connor reaches for a tabloid before Rose adds it to the others in the trash bag. He doesn’t even flip it open, not that he could. The soaked pages cling together.

  “I don’t fucking care about the rumors.” Ryke extends his arms. “How many times do I have to say that?”

  “I’m not a cheater! I don’t even like being an alleged cheater,” I say, my heart racing. It’ll fly out of my chest any minute now. It’s not fair to me or to Lo. He doesn’t deserve to be with “the girl who can’t close her legs.”

  I point a finger at the magazines. “And I hate being called a nympho!”

  “What do you want to do about it, Lil?” Lo asks, his lips near my ear. “Throw a tantrum in front of the cameras. Done. They’ve got your reaction on film.”

  I go utterly still. That’s not what I wanted.

  Connor clears his throat. “Or you could light this on fire.” He tosses the magazine into Rose’s trash bag. “It might be cathartic.”

  My shoulders lift at the thought.

  Rose gives Connor a disapproving look. “Don’t encourage her.” She drops the bag and keeps her lighter-fluid soaked hands away from her clothes. I didn’t mean for her to clean up my mess. I would have done it. Guilt bears down on me, and before I can apologize, a voice rings out from the living room.

  “Are you fucking serious?!” Julian yells.

  Daisy’s boyfriend has her up against the wall, his nose in her face, and his hands on either side of her head. He’s pinning her. My heart does fly out of my chest, but it’s not even because of the tabloids. Daisy…

  “Do you know the hell that I went through for you?!”

  Oh my god.

  “HEY!” Ryke shouts. Before I can blink, he’s running, his whole demeanor changing to a furious, dark Ryke Meadows in a split second. Brett sprints beside him, keeping his camera angled to the living room in case of a fight. I try to take a step forward, but Lo won’t release me, not even for this.

  “I have to help,” I whisper.

  “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  Connor follows Ryke with a hurried, determined stride. Rose is in a rush to wash her hands, and I think if it wasn’t lighter fluid, she’d say fuck it and go help Daisy on instinct.

  “What’s going on?” I ask Rose.

  She squirts a huge glob of soap onto her palm and talks rapidly, “We were in the middle of breaking up with Julian for Daisy.” Her eyes flicker back to the scene. “Fuck.”

  “Come again?” Lo snaps.

  “Yeah, what?” I ask, my pulse speeding. I flinch as Julian slams his fist into the wall beside Daisy’s head. Fear bubbles in my chest. With Connor and Ryke helping, I know she’ll be okay.

  Rose’s alarmed gaze stays fixed on the fight while she scrubs harder, faster. “Daisy wanted to dump him, but she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I thought that if Connor and I did it for her and embarrassed her a little bit, she’d have enough sense to do it herself next time.” She adds coldly, “If I’d known you were going to have a mini-meltdown during the middle of it, I would have rescheduled.”

  Ouch. “I’m sorry.”

  “It could have gone bad regardless.”

  At least she called my meltdown mini.

  We watch Ryke grab Julian by the shoulder. He throws a well-deserved punch into Julian’s jaw, the force knocking him back a couple steps. Then Julian regains his balance and careens into Ryke, attempting to pummel him to the floor. But Connor grips Ryke’s shoulder, keeping him upright.

  Rose turns off the faucet in haste, just as Ryke slams his fist into Julian’s face again.

  Daisy stands petrified by the wall, and I wish I could run over to her and bring her to safety—far, far away from her ex-boyfriend.

  Rose is by my side. “Get her out of there,” she says under her breath. I don’t think she’s talking to me though.


  Julian cusses and stops to touch his swollen eye. His chest rises and falls heavily. I wish Ryke would knee him in the nuts.

  Julian sets his sights on Daisy, his face hardened in anger. Both Rose and I start forward on instinct, and Lo reaches out, clutching our arms. I think Rose would curse him out if she wasn’t so hypnotized by the ongoing fight.

  “You’re just going to fucking stand there?!” Julian yells at our sister.

  “What do you want from me?” Daisy questions.

  “For you to give me back months of my life that I wasted with you, you stupid cunt.”

  Whoa. Everything moves so fast. Connor holds Ryke by the shoulders while he shouts a series of expletives, some I’ve never heard before. And then Lo releases Rose and me, only so he can step in to help too.

  But I want him in the fight just as much as he wants me in it.

  I climb onto his back so he’ll stay put.

  “Go fuck someone who actually likes you, Julius!” Lo yells. “Oh wait, that leaves no one on this planet. Better go find someone who can take you to Mars, you motherfucker!”

  I award him extra points for creativity.

  Without Lo restraining Rose from attack, she disappears into the kitchen, retrieving a can of pepper spray in a drawer. Oh yes. She charges the living room like a warrior queen, directing the can right at Julian’s bruised face.

  “Get out,” she sneers, shoving his arm. “Or I will burn more than just your eyes.”

  I wrap my arms around Lo’s neck, and his hands slide to my legs as he settles down. My sister has this under control.

  Julian raises his hands, sending the room one long, useless glare before he exits the townhouse.

  “One douchebag down,” Lo says under his breath.

  One more to go.

  { 34 }

  0 years : 09 months

  May

  LOREN HALE

  “Can I ask you both something?” Connor says, leaning against the dresser in our room. The clock blinks 4 a.m., but he stands there, fully clothed like he just returned from a business meeting.

  Lily and I have had a few minutes to rub our eyes and sit up against the headboard. Her body rests against mine, basically using me as a pillow. My lethargic brain has trouble processing what topic this could be about.

  “If it has to do with Scott or production, I’m going back to bed.” I just don’t have the energy to deal with that at four in the morning.

  Lily lets out a small yawn, her eyes partially closed. We had sex for over an hour. She was a little compulsive…I think because Rose made her try on the wedding dress to see if it needed any alterations.

  “It’s not about him,” Connor says, his voice quiet in the dead of night. “I want to know your feelings on your wedding in a month.”

  I rub my eyes again. “You know, this is one of those things I really don’t want to talk about this late, Connor.”

  “Me…either,” Lily yawns and begins to scoot underneath the covers.

  “Wait,” Connor says, stepping forward. “I need you to answer me, please.”

  I only hesitate because of the please. Connor rarely pleads for things, not like that. I shake my head as I try to pick through my emotions on the matter. “I don’t know…” I do know. “I mean, we’re not looking forward to it.”

  “Why?” Connor wonders.

  “You know why,” I snap, frustrated and tired. “Connor, I don’t know if this is the time when you do your best thinking, but the rest of us—the average people—sleep now.”

  Connor stuffs his hands in his pockets. “I needed a time where Rose wouldn’t be awake to hear us.”

  “Is this a riddle?” Lily asks sleepily.

  I don’t even know.

  “What if I told you that you don’t have to get married?”

  Now he has our attention. Lily’s eyes snap open fully, and my back straightens like a board. “What?” we both say in unison.

  “You don’t have to get married,” Connor repeats. “Not in one month. Not in six months or seven. You choose the time, the date, the place, everything on your terms, no one else’s.”

  “This is a dream,” Lily says under her breath.

  He shakes his head like it’s not.

  When I look at her, I see tears just streaming down her cheeks. “This is a dream…” she repeats as though to convince herself that it can’t be real.

  I feel something wet slide down my face. Good things don’t happen to bad people. Lily used to tell me that all the time. This does seem too good to be meant for us.

  “My father…” I start, not able to finish. I lift my knees and rest my elbow on one, pinching my eyes to dam the waterworks.

  “I talked with Lily’s parents and briefly with Jonathan. Everyone agrees that the reality show helped improve your reputations. It’s hard for any media outlet to deny that you’re in love, and so the wedding, at this point, isn’t as important as it once was.” He continues, “Lily will regain her inheritance since the wedding won’t be a stipulation anymore.”

  Neither of us really cares about the money. I drop my hand. “Won’t it seem suspicious if we suddenly cancel the wedding?”

  He takes a deep breath. “I want to marry Rose on that day, if you’ll let me.”

  My mouth opens in surprise. “What?” I breathe.

  Lily is nodding repeatedly, overwhelmed with so much emotion that she begins to sob in her hands. I hug her to my side.

  It’s like someone finally gave us a break, and then went one step further, clearing a dark storm into a bright blue sky.

  I am about to ask if he loves Rose, but the expression that washes over his face—it says it all. Connor is smiling, his gaze far off as he’s picturing that future already, glowing with something innately human.

  Hopefully one day he’ll accept how much love has actually overcome him.

  And then he looks back to me, and I nod at him. “If you’re serious—”

  “I’ve never been more serious in my life,” he says. Connor rarely exaggerates, so I’m flooded, once again, with the power of his words.

  “Yes,” I say. “Marry Rose.” I let out a short, stunned laugh and shake my head. I can’t believe this is real. “If you survive your wedding day, that is.” Rose not in control…how is that going to blow over? “She’s going to be pissed that she only has one month to fix everything.”

  Lily calms a little and wipes her eyes with the blanket. “She’s so particular,” she says.

  “That’s why I’m not going to tell Rose. It’ll be a surprise to her.” He adds, “And I know her well enough to plan a wedding that she’ll love.” He walks to the door, solidifying this as a night that I’ll remember for the rest of my life. And it had nothing to do with our addictions.

  “And darling,” he says to me, his grin lifting his lips, “you’ll be a great best man.” He taps the wooden frame and shuts the door gently behind him.

  Lily sniffs and says, “When did Connor Cobalt become the tooth fairy, granting wishes in the middle of the night?” We’ve known for a long time that Connor Cobalt possesses some form of magic.

  I smile, tackling and pinning her on the bed. I plant kisses all over her face, and she laughs into more tears. I realize I’m crying again too.

  We’re starting to feel in control of our own lives.

  It comes with sentiments so strong that the only response is to laugh, cry, and finally, fall into a peaceful, quiet sleep.

  { 35 }

  0 years : 10 months

  June

  LILY CALLOWAY

  “You passed all your classes?” Ryke asks for the third time on the couch, the disbelief a little insulting.

  “Yeah, I mean, I was only taking three this semester, but I passed.” Granted, they were pass or fail online courses from Princeton, but still it’s Princeton so I deserve a tiny pat on the shoulder, back, arm, I’ll even take the ankle.

  “I never even saw you crack open a textbook.” His lack of confidence in me
is nothing special.

  “You wouldn’t. I did most of my homework in my room.”

  Lo snacks on sour gummies beside me. “And weren’t you busy climbing rocks?” he snaps at his brother. We’re barely into our movie marathon with Ryke and Daisy, and we’ve already had to pause The Fellowship of the Ring five times for unnecessary interjections that don’t pertain to hobbits or hot elves. When we learned that both of them hadn’t seen The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Lo and I wanted to correct that immediately. At this rate, we’ll finish all three movies by next summer.

  “Not all the time,” Ryke refutes, shaking his bag of popcorn beneath Daisy’s chin. She’s squished beside me and him.

  She absentmindedly scoops a handful, eating more now, especially since one of her giant modeling campaigns wrapped up.

  “Let’s watch,” I say, pressing a button on the remote. When Frodo arrives at the elven kingdom, my mind wanders to celebrations. The nearest one for all of us is only in four days. We’ll be in France for Connor and Rose’s wedding. We’ve all kept the secret about the switch from her, and despite Connor’s proclamations that he has it under control, I’m a little worried she’s going to have a mental breakdown from the surprise.

  Rose isn’t the type who fantasized and planned every detail of her wedding when she was a little girl. On the contrary, Rose never thought she’d tie the knot. But she’s also a touch OCD, and having someone else control the biggest day of her life might upset her.

  That is, if Connor doesn’t nail the details to perfection.

  The wedding also marks the end of the reality show. No more cameras. No more communal showers. No more Philadelphia townhouse.

  Daisy picks the fuzz on a blanket, hardly watching the film. Returning to our Princeton house will be the hardest on her because it means that she has to go back home, to live with our mom and dad. These six months have been like one long, extended summer camp, and probably the first time that she’s felt included in our group.

  Before the reality show, she tagged along and asked to join us. For the past six months, it’s been unspoken that she’d belong in any event we planned. I don’t want to go back to the way things were. I want Daisy to be with us, but at the same time, she’s only seventeen.