Unsteady

by Elizabeth York

  “How do you feel?” She questioned.

  “I’m okay. I think it was just my body rejecting air travel,” I huffed softly as Brooklyn’s voice began to lighten some.

  “What happened with the woman?”

  “I’m pretty sure she was just a scorned, bitter bitch from Logan’s past. She basically said she was a notch on his bedpost, and wanted to force me to stay in the bar until he left the airport.”

  “Why?” Brooklyn sounded angry.

  “I don’t know. She said that his heart started beating when he saw me or something. You know it doesn’t matter. He is doing whatever he does and I am going shopping.”

  “Fine. Go eat, shop, whatever, and then call me tomorrow morning and let me know that someone didn’t Jack-The-Ripper you.”

  “You know Jack the Ripper killed prostitutes and I’m not a whore,” I joked as silence filled the other end of the line. “He also killed those women in 1888. I think it’s safe to say he’s dead.”

  “London, I swear if you don’t call me and let me know you’re safe-,” I interrupted.

  “I will.”

  “I’m serious London, you get into it with some strange woman on some last-minute business trip and then you didn’t answer any of my messages. You so much as miss a call and I am on the next thing flying to cut someone from stem to sternum. Got it?”

  “Message received, boss lady,” I laughed as my heart warmed to the worry and love she was sending over the ocean through the speaker of my phone. I ended the call wearing the biggest smile on my face. Sometimes I wondered if I deserved having a relationship with my bloodline after giving up the family Logan and I had made here.

  The day passed in a blur of activities that brought me home. My heart ached to be home and I didn’t even realize it. Listening to their accent made me laugh some and miss school. Out of all the people there, Sister Katherine was the only one who didn’t have a British accent and I always wondered why.

  I continued my adventure and looked over at the river and the people enjoying each other as the night life was just beginning. I shivered and turned to walk out and find a store. I must have walked aimlessly for about fifteen minutes when I found a store called Jigsaw and went inside just at closing time.

  I explained my packing issue and my procrastination in getting clothes before now. The sales clerk was so sweet she stayed open an extra half hour and helped me shop. I got a couple of camisoles, some jeans, a dress, a pair of boots, and a navy parka with a fur collar for that chill I couldn’t seem to shake.

  I thanked her profusely as I changed into a navy dress that looked like an extra-long button-down shirt with a khaki belt, and a pair of beige ankle boots. I still had to find a store that had bras and underwear, but when I found myself outside of the post office in a familiar area I used to venture out to I kept walking.

  I passed two theaters on my journey to reach the Spaghetti House. A lot had changed in the years I had been gone. London was the city I loved, but I didn’t even know her anymore. Just like Logan.

  I came upon the Hippodrome Casino and remembered one night that Logan and I had snuck out. It was on the last day of year ten and we had this amazing adventure across London. We got punished for it too, but it paled in comparison with all we had enjoyed. They could have done anything to us and it still would have been worth it.

  After our casino rendezvous, we went together to the Spaghetti House and had dinner together like Lady and the Tramp. We couldn’t go in because the church members that helped run the school would be inside, as they were almost every night. We didn’t want to get caught so Logan paid a dining room attendant to deliver us food at the back of the building as we sat on the ground and made a table out of a plastic storage box adding a candle Logan had borrowed from the church.

  I zoned out as the beautiful architecture pulled me into memory lane. I have no idea how long I was standing there, but when my focus came back to the casino, Michael Pierce was staring back at me.

  My heart raced, and I went through everything I could think of to make it seem like a coincidence that I was there as he walked toward me.

  Pretend you don’t remember him.

  “It seems we keep running into each other,” his voice was low. “You wouldn’t be following me, would you?”

  Shit.

  “No, I’m sorry I don’t know you,” I answered as my training kicked in.

  “Did you know your lip curves when you lie?” He inquired as I tilted my head in confusion.

  Exactly how much did he know about me?

  “My lip does that when I see something I don’t like,” my tone was callous.

  “You don’t like me?” he seemed to enjoy the fact that I wanted nothing to do with him.

  “I don’t know you, so please leave me alone.”

  “Maybe it’s time we got to know each other,” his deep voice gave me chills as he got incredibly close to me. His lips were inches from mine as his eyes seemed to turn black. “Let’s take a walk,” he ordered, as he took my elbow forcibly.

  “No,” I calmly and carefully yanked my arm back and refused to back down.

  “Sweetheart,” a familiar voice called out from across the street. “Are you ready to go?”

  Michael and I both looked to see Alec, his Volkswagen sized muscles were straining his shirt that read ‘groom’ across it, as he waited for me. I blinked rapidly to see if my vision was impaired. Surely, he hadn’t come here for me.

  “Looks like your husband is waiting,” Michael sneered as he let me go. I started toward Alec as I plastered a false smile on my face. I got a couple steps in when Michael tugged on my arm sharply, jerking me back to him, and causing me to flinch.

  Alec took steps toward me like a raging bull as Michael pushed my hair behind my ear.

  “I won’t wait forever,” he whispered something I believed to be a warning and then pushed me so hard I fell into Alec.

  “Ty v poryadke?” Alec asked if I was okay in Russian as he caught me. I got my balance and looked up to see his eyes never left Michael.

  “Ideal'no,” I replied with sarcasm saying I was perfect as I allowed my peripherals to watch Michael and two men that accompanied him. Everyone stood their ground, frozen and unwavering, until finally, Michael and his men in suits climbed into a dark SUV that pulled up beside them and drove away.

  “Let me see,” Alec demanded as he pulled my arm toward him. He saw the reddened handprint across my arm starting to bruise. “Your father will not be happy about this. I shall stay with you until you return to New York.”

  “No, you will not,” I scoffed.

  “I am under orders,” he explained, and I walked away shaking my head, wondering how I could be so stupid as to think I would ever be able to do anything on my own with a father like I have.

  “Avery, you there?” I asked as I put in my ear piece.

  “I’m here.”

  “Pierce is already here nine days ahead of that schedule the boss gave me. He made me as the girl from New York. I need an escape plan if it comes to that.”

  “I doubt that they’ll set aside resources to come for you while you are listed as being on vacation, but let me make some calls,” he was remaining very professional when I knew he wanted to cuss at someone about this situation.

  “I know it’s an inconvenience for them, but having a backup plan is imperative since I still don’t remember why I came here.”

  “I think you should listen to your drunken plan because it sounds like it might be our only shot if they won’t pull you out,” Avery admitted. “The audio is in your email.”

  “Thanks, Avery,” I let out a deep breath and took out the ear piece, placing it in my purse as I heard Alec’s feet walking faster upon me.

  I shivered so when Alec got to me he pulled my coat out of the bag and put it over me as we walked side by side. I nodded my thanks and walked toward the hotel. It grew frigid as I got closer to the water, but I just pulled my coat tighter and walked a li
ttle faster. I continued through the archway and into the hotel as everyone greeted me.

  “How do you feel, Ms. Montgomery?” The concierge inquired as he took my coat off. “Is everything to your liking?”

  “I’m fine and it’s perfect. Thank you,” I replied, as I tried to figure out how I was going to lose Alec.

  Michael wasn’t supposed to be here yet, but he was also early to the coffee shop that first morning. He had to be testing someone out there to see if they would go where he was when he was there. Had the agency waited until it was the time listed in that dossier, we would have missed him completely. Hopefully, they would reinstate me, or give it to whomever was closest.

  “Mr. Markovich had you upgraded to the suite upstairs,” the manager explained.

  “Of course, he did.”

  “We put your bodyguard in the room next to you,” he continued as my irritation grew.

  “Of course, you did.”

  I turned in frustration and ran my hand through my hair only to see Sister Katherine in the lobby asking the desk man for something.

  “Sister Katherine?” I called out her name in confusion. She turned to look at me and she made the sign of the cross just before her hand covered her heart.

  “I have been so worried, child,” she quickly spoke as she walked over and pulled me into her arms. When she released me, she pulled my arm and I winced. She looked down where her hand was and saw the premature bruising on my arm. “Did you sneak out of somewhere?”

  With a simple sentence and a smile, I was laughing. She was always my sounding board when I needed a friend or a parent figure, even when I didn’t tell her I needed it. She kept me sane even when my world crumbled around me.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” I whispered, as I pulled her in for a hug.

  The elevator bell rang, and I invited her up for a cup of tea. When we got to the hotel room I opened the door to see I was no longer on the bottom floor near the water. Instead, my room was enormous and on the top floor. I looked out the window and saw the large Ferris wheel off in the distance that was lit up next to the water.

  “I had to come and see that you were all right,” Sister Katherine explained as the hotel porter hung up my coat and put away my new clothes.

  “Why wouldn’t I be okay? How did you know I was here?”

  “I have always known where you were,” she smiled, but it was obvious it was a forced grin and a repetitive answer. She always said that when she didn’t want to tell us how she knew.

  “You okay, Sister?”

  “I have a confession to make,” she mumbled as she took my hands in hers. “Your dad and I put sleeping medicine in your bevvy at supper the other night,” she explained as I took my hands back. I racked my brain trying to remember anyone putting anything in my drink, but I didn’t remember anything.

  “Why the hell...”

  “Do not use that word with me. I did this for your own good,” Sister Katherine interrupted to rebuke my language choices. I wanted to defend myself, but I was silenced as a knock sounded on my door. I walked to it, grateful for the momentary reprieve while I absorbed what she said. I allowed the hotel porter in with the tea. As soon as he left, my anger and confusion came back.

  “Why?” It was a single word. The only appellation I could seem to find at the moment.

  “For Logan,” she spoke, as if I knew what that meant.

  “Sister, he hates me.”

  “He doesn’t know the truth,” she argued.

  “Even if I thought it would make a difference I wouldn’t tell him because it wouldn’t change the abhorrence he feels when he looks at me. He wants me to disappear and I plan to.”

  “That boy has loved you since the day your guards dropped you off. He would do anything for you and has proven that time and time again. You hurt him, you alienated him, you lied to him, you metaphorically castrated him, but even through all that, his torch still burns for you. He’s just apoplectic,” she explained, as I poured the hot tea into the tiny white cups on saucers and dressed them.

  “You weren’t there on the plane or outside the airport,” I argued. “You didn’t see the execrate that lingered in his eyes, and the woman… Caroline, she is a piece of work. She should hope I don’t run into her without him around.”

  “London, we are taught to turn the other cheek.”

  “My families’ motto is an eye for an eye,” I rebutted, as she shook her head and said a prayer for me.

  “Logan went to say goodbye to his father. You and I both know he can’t forgive his father on his own. He needs you. Together, you two are stable and invincible. Apart, you are both unsteady and feeble.”

  “I just can’t, Sister Katherine. Logan is the shadow I can’t escape. The guilt that keeps me from the light. After all these years, and all this time, I can’t... I think… I might… I still love him, and he loves me, but at some point, love becomes torture,” I confessed to her as I fumbled the words.

  “I know you love him, child. There have never been two people more perfect for each other than the two of you. You both fought an imaginary war to be together for all those years and now you are fighting that same battle. Only, this skirmish is between the two of you. I think if you told him the truth, that culpability would linger, but it wouldn’t weigh you down.”

  “I don’t know how to tell him.”

  “Put your faith in him being able to handle it, and let the words flow. You two have always been my pride and joy. I cheered for you two. I supported your relationship when it went against everything I was supposed to believe in, but I have faith that I was put there at that school to mold you both. I think I was supposed to help you both find the life I once wanted. You both still have a chance for that, but not unless you are willing to be honest and vulnerable” she gave me a sad smile. “Now sit down and tell me who gripped you so harshly that I need to take a belt to their bottom.”

  “You can’t come home until you find me something for the baby,” Brooklyn chided as I got ready for bed.

  “With this weather, I’m shocked England’s tectonic plate is still floating. It rains off and on, but when it does rain, it’s a heavy downpour. I feel like this trip was a mistake, and I will be stuck here. I may need you to build an ark to get me home.”

  “You’re the one who got on that plane,” Brooklyn snarkily replied. I could have corrected her and said that my dad and a nun had drugged me, but who would believe that?

  “I changed my mind, this trip has been amazing. I don’t have to wear ear plugs to drown out the people having sex in the next room,” I sarcastically replied as I sat on the ivory couch in my room.

  “Go ahead and enjoy that peace while you find something for your niece or nephew tomorrow,” Brooklyn immediately replied.

  “Would help if you would find out if it’s a boy or a girl.”

  “I want to be surprised,” Brooklyn’s gleeful tone when talking about the baby was infectious and soon I was smiling as I pictured her rubbing her belly.

  “In all seriousness, can I ask you a question?” I asked as she mumbled something like a yes, but I could hear that food was now in her mouth. “What is dad’s deal?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He sent Alec here,” I admitted to her. “I remember telling him I didn’t need any protection and, yet I saw him when I was out shopping.”

  “What happened?” Brooklyn demanded with all joking gone.

  “What?”

  “If dad sent Alec then you wouldn’t have known he was there unless he had a reason to intervene. The man may be built like a linebacker on steroids, but he can hide like a shadow in a dark alley. So, what happened?”

  “Someone tried to mug me,” I lied and wondered if all these lies were sending me to hell on a one way express.

  “Then aren’t you glad he was there?” Brooklyn was baiting me.

  “I can take care of myself,” I grew annoyed. “The point is that I don’t know our dad. Sister Katherine tr
ied to break the ice, but I drank something I shouldn’t have and wound up on a plane. Truth is, I don’t want to know him. He might be the man who fucked my mom and made me, but a parental figure he is not.”

  “London, cut him a little bit of slack. He’s still learning to be a dad.”

  “He could’ve learned if he would have stuck around when we were little. Maybe I would be more inclined if his first instinct wasn’t to ship me off and keep me from my family,” the lingering disdain dripped off each word. I didn’t even realize how angry I was until I heard myself telling Brooklyn.

  “London, I get it. I once hated him. I wouldn’t even call him dad. I called him Nikolas, it drove him crazy, but then somehow life intervened. I realized how lucky I was to have him in my life. To have someone love me so wholly that they would do anything to protect me. Even though some days I wanted to strangle him till the life faded out of his eyes. He does love me and would never do anything that he thinks would hurt me.”

  “I don’t know him Brooklyn,” I exhaled into the phone.

  “You didn’t know me, but now you love me so much you’re going to find the most adorable English baby gift because I’m that special to you,” she joked.

  “I knew you Brooklyn, we might have spent all those years apart with only a phone call here and a weekend visit there, but I knew you. You were the big sister who tried to shield me when the men were cleaning their weapons. You were the protector who helped me transition when I called and told you I was homesick. You’re the sister who has her life together while I am buried under baggage, lies, and guilt. I may not have been in your life, but I knew you.”

  “You’re going to make me cry,” Brooklyn pretended to sniffle.

  “Brook-.”

  “Fine, if Alec is there it’s because dad is scared something might happen to you. He’s been through hell, give him the benefit of the doubt or-,” Brooklyn stopped talking.

  “Or?”

  “Look around, chances are he’s there,” she laughed. “It’s what I would do to my child.”