Unsteady

by Elizabeth York

  “Take your time,” Kate told her as she pulled her long blond hair up into a clip as her son began to fuss. She draped herself with a blanket and reached for the tiny tot to feed him. “The worst thing you can do is go back into a situation where you’re not completely comfortable,” Kate spoke as though she knew.

  “What did the therapist say?” Brooklyn asked and London completely shut down. I watched as a wall formed between her and her sister.

  “He said whenever I can leave the house without looking over my shoulder I should be okay,” she lied again.

  What the hell is happening?

  “I’m worried about her,” I confided in Brooklyn when London thought I was somewhere over the ocean on a flight I gave to Nate. “The markers were there, she was lying to you yesterday.”

  “I know,” Brooklyn nonchalantly seemed to blow it off.

  “You know?”

  “I know,” she turned her head and that same mischievous Markovich look was on her face.

  “Whatever you’re planning better be legal,” I warned and she chuckled.

  “Having a baby changes things,” she began as she dressed her tiny baby in her arms. Isabella was absolutely the cutest baby I’d ever seen. She looked just like Brooklyn, but in a weird twist of fate when she smiled it was crooked just like London. “I can’t chase after murders anymore, I can’t bend the law to conform to whatever it is I need, and I can’t pay people to stalk my sister - I just ask Mark to do it.”

  “Clarity?” I asked and she shook her head.

  “I just don’t want anyone else raising her because of something stupid I did,” Brooklyn picked her daughter up and handed her to me. “I can’t ever walk away. I can’t do what my mom did to London.” Brooklyn continued as I cradled Isabella in my arms and rocked the baby that was smiling up at me. “Now, she takes a bottle at two and then Mark will be home around five for her next one. Diapers are on the first shelf of the changing table, and she likes watching reruns of “The Situation Room,” its on the DVR.

  “Brook -,” I called as she grabbed her purse and headed toward the door of her apartment. “Where are you going?”

  “I can’t tell you because then its premeditated,” she gave me a wink and then left.

  The hours passed and I wondered if anyone was coming back or if they were just mailing me adoption papers. Bella and I had eaten, taken a nap, and watched more politics than I think I had ever digested. Unlike Ada, who gets glued to the screen whenever they discuss the government it put Bella right to sleep. When she was deep in slumber she would reach out for my finger and hold on tight as if I could save her from her dreams. Being with her made me long for my own daughter who rested beneath the apple tree.

  “Hey man,” Mark spoke as he walked into his apartment. Confusion was obvious as he closed the door and looked for his wife. “What are -?”

  “Brooklyn,” one word was all it took to allow him to comprehend everything.

  “This is about London isn’t it?” Mark asked and I nodded.

  “She’s hiding things from me,” I confided in him. “I know I should trust her, but that was broken a long time ago and I don’t think it ever really mended. Doubt seeps in and then when she hides things or lies to me it shows me we aren’t where we need to be.”

  “Not so long ago Brooklyn went through a traumatic event, and she shut down. She would sleep with me, go to dinner with me, and be with me, but she wasn’t actually with me. She loved me enough that she could pretend to be strong in front of me, but truthfully she was struggling inside.”

  “What did you do?” I asked as Bella started to fuss.

  “I loved her. I let her tell me when she was ready to tell me. I let her go against everything I believed in and allowed her to put herself in danger because that is what she felt like she had to do. If I would’ve stopped her I would’ve become a resentment,” Mark spoke from somewhere I didn’t question. He stood stoic as he took Isabella from me, but whatever he was reliving made him want to hold his daughter a little tighter. He wanted to protect her a little longer. “It takes a strong man to love the women in that family.”

  “Brooklyn seems like a handful,” I joked as I tried to lighten the mood from the dark place Mark’s mind had gone.

  “There is only one real place that woman lets me have control, but I’m not complaining. Most of the time we’re partners and I’m used to her antics, but since Bella was born she has really grown up and is an amazing mother. It’s when it comes to her family she never thinks before she reacts,” Mark shook his head as he looked over at Isabella who was resting her head on his shoulders as he patted her back. This little girl had so much love and a family who would do anything for her. It made me question why London had to leave them all those years ago. Why was she the chosen one?

  “You ready to head back to work?” I asked London later that week. She always seemed to be fighting herself. I don’t know if it was from the incident, or what, but every time I brought up work, Avery, or anything related to that she would sigh and sink into herself. After we promised each other no more secrets she was still keeping something from me. Not only that Brooklyn said she had one week to tell her the truth or she was going to lock both of them in a room till she confessed.

  “How about after the weekend,” she offered and I smiled as she shot off an email letting HR know she was taking a few more days.

  “I suppose I could get someone else to cover my flight Sunday if you want to take the weekend together,” I offered and she leapt into my arms with her hands at the back of my neck as she kissed me. Her lips were soft and full I wanted to taste them every second, but there was nothing like the feeling of her kiss when she was happy.

  “Want to go see Stormy?” I asked and she shook her head. Neither of us could get used to calling Isabella Stormy, but from the dream request we all tried to remember to use it.

  “I spent all day yesterday hogging Brooklyn’s baby,” she answered.

  We introduced Ada to Stormy now that she was a little older and wasn’t as fragile. Ada preached to us on the appropriate way to hold a baby as if she was smarter than all of us. One day I envisioned a teenage version of her that would be problematic for us, but for now it was endearing to see her want to solve everything for everyone.

  “Go somewhere with me,” I asked and she smiled. I climbed into the shower to get ready to embark on something I had promised myself I’d never do when I heard the shower door open. I felt her as her hands reached around my body and stroke my chest. I turned instantly and placed my lips on hers.

  I couldn’t help myself I lifted her off the ground and pushed her against the shower wall. I devoured her as if she was the tasty apple a starving man craved. I moved down and kissed her neck as her moans got louder. She ran her hands through my hair as I kissed her throat and moved to her collar bone.

  “Logan,” she cried when I lifted her a little higher and sank my teeth onto her nipple. I lapped at the water cascading down her body as she squirmed in my grip. I knew she was ready for me, but I needed something more to break through to her with the way she held herself back.

  “Trust me?” I asked and she nodded as her erratic breaths quickened. I carried her out of the shower, forgetting to turn off the water. I carried her over to my bed and let her slide down my body until she was on her feet. I turned her to face the bed and pushed her until she laid on her stomach across the bed.

  I walked around her and moved a mirror to face her. I hoped this worked, but even if it didn’t we would enjoy it. She didn’t need to know that I was doing this hoping for a dual outcome.

  I climbed over her and began at her shoulders as I massaged the still healing flesh. She groaned and laid there watching me in the mirror. Her trust seemed broken, she was holding herself back, and the only way to open her up was to cross boundaries she told me never to broach. And she had to see I wouldn’t hurt her while doing it.

  I continued my massage as I moved down her body. She tensed
when I came near her scar. Since we rescued her it was forbidden to touch it. Maybe it was a trigger, maybe it was a reminder, but either way she needed to let me in. She needed to know I wouldn’t hurt her. I watched as she flinched in fear that I would go against her wishes, but my fingers wouldn’t touch it until she wanted me to. I looked in the mirror, meeting her eyes, as I lowered my head and placed a softened kiss in the middle of her scar.

  “Logan,” she jerked as I felt her fight the need to recoil, but I wouldn’t let up. It was time everything was on the table. I kissed and licked the insatiable damage that was done to her flesh. They had carved into her so many times the flower had veins running through it like a zoomed in photograph.

  “Trust me,” I reminded her as I reached one hand down and spread her legs further apart. I reached down and found that tight bundle of nerves that needed my attention. As I stroked her I felt her loosen up her control and go with the moment.

  “Fuck,” she whispered as I pushed two fingers inside her and continued my assault as my lips never moved from her scar. I had invaded forbidden territory and I wasn’t leaving till she begged me to.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I told her as she looked back over her shoulder at me. “Every inch of you was made just for me.”

  “Logan,” she tried to think of something that would make me see her as anything less than what she was. She had been torn down so long it was going to take time to build her back up into the person I knew she was. The person I saw when she thought no one else was looking.

  “Shh,” I hushed her as I moved into position. I took my cock in my hand and led him to her opening. I watched as she gripped the bed in eager anticipation. I pushed the crown in and felt her tighten down and her walls pulsated as they tried to pull me in further.

  I pulled back out and went in again and again as she was somewhere between a quivering mess and woman ready to beg. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and pushed into her hard. I closed my eyes at the warm wet cave my cock was penetrating. Truth was I had been with a lot of women, but I was never comfortable enough to go in bare, and none of them ever felt like London. She was exquisite, as she undulated under me.

  I laid my body on her back as I pushed into her over and over again. Forcing my body to brush against her scar. Forcing her to feel me. To know that there was nothing she could keep from me anymore. There was no boundary.

  “Oh God,” she cried as I ran my hands across her shoulders and put my hands on hers, so I covered her completely, but my legs helped me hold some of my weight off of her. “Hold me,” she cried out.

  I pulled her arms in and held onto her tightly. Keeping her restrained as I thrusted into her with my hardened cock. I loved that she was trusting me as she moaned through the inability to move. All she could do was feel.

  Her fists tightened and her nails dug into the flesh of her hand as she watched us in the mirror. She bit her lip and tightened down on me. She took and took everything I had to give her as I watched her body wind up like a clock ready to careen off into some euphoric land. It brought me to the brink as her moans got louder and her toes curled.

  It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. To see her in the throws of passion, to see her guard completely eviscerated, to be able to touch all of her. To see trust and love in her cobalt eyes.

  “Don’t hold back,” I whispered in her ear as I began to thrust into her faster. I watched with carnal lasciviousness in the mirror at the woman I would one day marry. The one who would one day have children with me. The only one that completed me.

  “Logan,” she screamed as her toes curled. She fought against my hold as she began to flail. I held on tight and continued as her pussy walls pulsated around me and tried to force me to come with her. “Tighter,” she screamed as I loosened my grip just a little. “Don’t let me go,” I looked in the mirror to see passionate tears, but those eyes were conflicted. She was begging me to keep her pinned down while everything inside her was fighting against it.

  “Come with me,” she pleaded and I couldn’t deny her. I moved faster and circled my hips making sure I had engaged with every inch of her. Then when I knew she needed that last little inch I pulled out and flipped her on her back. I spread her legs and covered her apex with my mouth. I devoured her as she clawed the sheets and tried to crawl away.

  I pulled her back down to the edge of the bed and continued my onslaught on her as she convulsed around my tongue. One hand went to my hair to hold me in place while the other tried to pry my interlocked fingers away from her stomach as I held her there - demanding that she take it all.

  “Oh fuck,” she screamed as she tensed and lifted her hips. My mouth followed her movements as my hands now held her up in the air from her ass. I continued tasting her as she cried out for me to stop and then not to stop.

  “Don’t move,” she yelled as she lifted herself until she was sitting in the palms of my hands with no where to go except closer to my mouth. I sucked that tiny nub of nerves as she came again and again. Then it was like something unleashed, she couldn’t get enough. I gave her my tongue as she rode my mouth. I had never seen her so free and wild as she bucked and flexed; desperate to find that one thing I was withholding.

  “You want it?” I asked as I laid her back onto the bed and she roughly pulled me up to her. She tried to force me into her and I refused. “If you want it you have to tell me why you aren’t going back to work,” there it was - the proverbial ice water being thrown on someone.

  Chapter Thirty Six

  London

  “Logan plays dirty,” I confided in Kate as we met for coffee like we always did.

  “Sounds delicious, give me all the details. I still can’t have sex for another forty-eight hours,” she groaned.

  “This might be too much info, but you know how they have to be men and tell you what to do in bed or how they gruff out there words in what sounds like pain?”

  “Of course,” Kate laughed.

  “The other day Logan just kept saying trust me. I did all the talking and screaming and begging and whatever else unconsciously left my mouth. It was the hottest we have ever gotten. I mean its always good, but this was something else. It was like he was trying to dig inside me and find gold.”

  “So then what was the problem?” Kate asked as her phone chimed. Eddie was texting her hourly picks of their baby Mikey because Kate was paranoid about being away from him for even a second.

  “I get ready to climax. Like the mother of all eruptions,” I continue as Kate is glued to my story. “Then right at that moment. He asks if I want it, and I do, more than anything I do.”

  “Not hearing a problem,” Kate pointed out the obvious.

  “He told me I could come if I told him why I didn’t want to go back to work.”

  “Oh,” Kate sat back and sipped at her coffee.

  “Right,” I announced. “It should be my decision if I want to talk about work. It should be my choice. I shouldn’t have to tell him my inner most stuff for an orgasm that would’ve knocked the Earth out of the Goldilocks zone.”

  “Why aren’t you going back to work?” Kate asked and I shook my head.

  “That wasn’t the point.”

  “I think it was. Sounds like to me he thinks you are hiding your feelings about work, or maybe he is concerned that you’re still feeling the effects of the trauma. You have been very closed off since you’ve been back,” Kate shared her concern by giving me that mothering look she gives to her son when he’s crying.

  “It’s the point that I should’ve had an orgasm no matter what,” I yelled and then noticed everyone looking at us as Kate’s eyebrow lifted.

  “You know some women just can’t come when their man wants them to, and some just can’t without a little clitoral stimulation,” Kate was being serious as she waved her hand to tell me to tone it down.

  “That isn’t the issue. He always does whatever is necessary to close the deal,” I lowered my voice and tried to explain. “I d
idn’t tell him, so everything stopped. I’m trying to tell you that he stopped everything when he was on the verge and walked away, he took a cold shower while I laid on the bed unable to move because everything was throbbing in agony. Then when I tried again I got shut down. He hasn’t touched me since. He’s putting up this barricade between us.”

  “Then its time to take matters into your own hands. Eddie knows the day the doctor gives me the all clear we’re fucking right there on the table. I have no more patience to wait till we get to the car or drive all the way home. I will merely pull the curtain as he drops his pants. Sometimes you just have to take what’s rightfully yours.”

  “I’m gonna make him beg for it,” I confidently stated as I downed the last of my now chilled coffee.

  “Knowing what has happened if you do attempt it and he stops you then you need to have a serious conversation about where your relationship is and where you stand.”

  “I want you back at work after your trip,” Avery demanded. “We can’t wait for you to accept that I played a role in what happened. There are lives at stake.”

  “I understand that, but I can’t just trust you again,” I tried to explain.

  “Either you come back on your own or I can find ways to make you come back. How does your dad feel about sleeping in the house with a right hand man that belongs to me? How does your sister feel about that new nanny cam that I’m monitoring to ensure you tell her nothing? How does it feel to know that you expected Logan to forgive you for your lie, but you can’t forgive me of mine and save others?”

  “Don’t threaten me!”

  “I’m not a bad person, but when pushed I am capable of bad things. Now, get your ass in gear you return to work one week from tomorrow,” Avery shouted and then hung up. My time was up and I had to make a decision. Do I tell the truth about who he is and always look over my shoulder for his retaliation or do I go to work for him and say a daily prayer that I never wind up on his list of people to kill as his name grew in the criminal arena?