“Okay, upsy-daisy,” I said, reaching underneath one arm as Paige positioned herself on the other side.
“Please don’t ever say that again.”
“What?”
“Upsy-whatever. That sounds so your mother.”
“Just get an arm and leave me alone,” I said, returning to the mission at hand. We tried to hoist her, but she was deadweight. “Let’s just sit her up.”
Paige pulled from one side, and I pushed from the other, and we just hoped we didn’t break an arm in the process. She didn’t budge. That left Paige with no more viable options, so she slapped Amber right across the face. That did the trick.
She awoke with a startle. Her glassy eyes passed over us, and she brought the back of her hand to her mouth to wipe away the drool. “I gotsasome good frooth in myyycaup.You wanthsome-ofits?” she asked, looking at Paige.
“Are you drunk?” I asked.What a stupid question.
Her eyes registered me and sobriety returned.Well almost. “Whathareyoudoingthereyouliffleflussy?”
“I think you mean floozy, and I’m here to get your behind out of a major indiscretion,” I said, grunting as Paige and I finally got her back to her feet.
She tried to jerk away, but drunks don’t jerk. “Ith caf tathe fare of myfelf!”
Paige gave her the once-over.“And we can see that’s worked real well for ya.”
We dragged all six feet of Amber out the screen door and down the stairs before the morning shift arrived and decided to make Amber the morning news.“You’ve had us worried sick,” I scolded.
“Youmakethmethick!” she spat.
“Well, we can talk about all the things I make you when we get you sober. I can’t believe you have been out all night drinking.”
“I haventhbinf thrinking. If justh binf eatfing thisth fruiths.”
“The liquor’s in the fruit,” Paige said.
“What?”
“You wouldn’t understand,” Paige assured.
“But she probably had no idea there was any liquor in it.”
“Thats rithe, thisther.”
“What did she say?” I asked.
“She said, ‘That’s right, sister.’”
“Oh. She’s gone to calling me sister now?” I inquired. Paige shrugged.“Well, call me sister if you want to, but you still have major explaining to do.”We made our way up Seaside Avenue.
“Idonthwanththoothalkthooyou.”
It was best. And there was no need to tell her anything until she reached the land of sobriety. We would shield her from the inevitable phone calls until it arrived. And then we’d talk. We’d talk long and hard.
We called everyone from our cell phones on the way back to the house. No one was complaining about my phone now. By the time we got there, she was asleep again. Dad and Joshua hauled her upstairs and laid her across the bed. She never even knew where she was.
“Where in the world did you find her?” Mother asked, with her cell-phone earpiece clipped around her ear and Maggy strapped to her chest.
I sat down on the front porch and took a drink of a Coke I had grabbed from the refrigerator. “She was passed out on a bench in front of the Cottage Rental Office.”
Mother gasped.“Oh my Lord, have mercy, do you think she’s hurt herself?”
“She doesn’t look too damaged. But her mascara was rather smudged.”
“That’s not funny.”
Dad sat down next to me. “Did she say what happened?”
I was about to answer when Joshua walked out of the house onto the porch and got my attention. “I think she’ll be out for a while,” he surmised.“Is she drunk?”
“Wasted,” Paige offered with no explanation.
“She got a hold of some happy fruit,” I interjected, rolling my eyes at Paige.“Some fruit soaked in liquor.And no, Dad, she’s still too mad at me to tell us what happened.”
“Hello,” Mother said into her chirping earpiece.“Yes,Amber is fine, and she will be back in town on Sunday. She has a few loose ends to tie up here, but I’ll have her call you this evening with a statement for the paper. Now, don’t bother her anymore. She’s on emotional overload right now with all the excitement.” Vicky’s eyes bugged out in our direction.
“Who’s that?” Paige asked.
“Probably the Chronicle,” Joshua replied. “They’ve called quite a few times.” He leaned against the wood railing on the front porch. He crossed his legs at the ankles and rested each arm on the railing behind him.“You look exhausted,” he said to me.
“I am pretty tired.”
“I’m starving,” Paige said.
“I’ll get you kids something to eat,” Mother said, prancing herself and Miss Magnolia into the kitchen.
“If there’s dog hair in it, I ain’t eatin’ it!” Paige hollered to Vicky’s backside. Maggy barked.“Little rat,”Paige mumbled. Duke came and laid his head in her lap. He loved likeminded women.
Mother returned sans doggy pouch but with a feast. She had made eggs, bacon, home fries, sausage gravy, and homemade biscuits. We were licking our elbows, it was so good. An hour later, we all found a sofa or a chair to crash on. Joshua and I shared the sofa, and I nestled my head underneath his arm. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to look at Mother’s raised eyebrow. But no one moved until well past lunch. Because it was about then the gagging started. And this time it wasn’t from the princess with the pink collar.
“I’m dying,” Amber said, her face hovering over the toilet seat.
“Well, that’s what it smells like,” I agreed.“How much of that fruit did you eat?”
“I have no idea. It was just so . . . so . . . so . . . oh, Lord, deliver me . . .” And then she disgorged the rest of it.
I handed her a wet towel to wipe her face, and she leaned back and sat against the wall. Mother and Paige were standing at the door, and Maggy’s face was buried in Mother’s chest. Here was an animal who would throw up as look at you, yet clearly couldn’t handle someone else’s pain.
“Why don’t you try to get a shower and clean up.We have some things we need to tell you, and I’m sure you won’t want to hear them like this,” Mother said from the doorway.
I found that a little odd. I thought Amber would want to hear the exciting news no matter what. It might even make her forget she had to throw up. But then I remembered that I always wanted to be dressed up whenever I finally got a marriage proposal. So, then again, I could understand wanting to look half decent when you finally receive some of the most exciting news of your life. Well, exciting news of your life if you’re Amber . . . or Victoria.
“I’m not going to be able to do that right now,” she wailed, hugging the porcelain god once more. Her news would wait another day. Because sister had apparently eaten fruit with only slightly fewer repercussions than that apple of Eve’s.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
There are moments in life that cause a dog to snap. I didn’t know it was possible, but even good dogs can reach their limits. And apparently Duke’s came at about ten that evening. For years, Duke had been relegated to the floor of Mother and Dad’s bedroom. He only made it onto the bed when Mother had overnight trips away, and few of those were traveled without Dad, because, well, Dad didn’t want his princess traveling alone. So, eventually Duke grew weary of the floor and relegated himself to Thomas’s bed.
But around ten on this day, Duke left Thomas’s bed and decided to meander his way to Mother and Dad’s room. The two, needing a little “peace and quiet,” had been watching a rental movie—alone—just to avoid the company of anyone. Must not’ve been that great a flick, because both Vicky and Dad were sacked out when a pint-size Hack! sounded from between Mother’s feet. And that must have been when Duke saw the little ball of fluff nestled at the foot of his bed. Well, to be honest, that might have done me in too. And before anyone could catch their breath, Duke jumped on the bed, clenched the back of that little critter’s neck in his teeth, and plopped it on its bum in th
e middle of the bedroom floor.
Mother screamed, thinking for sure Duke was about to eat her Magnolia alive, but all Duke wanted was the attention he deserved. And when we all arrived in the bedroom because of mother’s scream, Duke was lying on top of Mother’s chest, with his nose touching hers. All the poor thing wanted was for her to love him. Mother was mumbling. Maggy was whining like a whipped puppy, and Dad rolled over just to see what Duke might do next. MThomas, Paige, and I all stopped dead in our tracks, just to see if Mother might throw him a bone.
She eyed him.
He eyed her.
Maggy whimpered.
Duke turned his head, gave her a hack, then turned back to Mother and smiled. He nuzzled her chin with his nose, and she spat out dog hair. As she rolled him back over toward his true companion and extricated herself from the bed, she had, I do believe, a flash of compassion for the old boy in her eyes. She scooped up her princess, surveyed for broken bones. “My sweet precious baby girl.What has he done to you?”
Mother turned her face back to Duke.
He gave one low whimper, and I wanted to go wrap him in my arms and console him myself. Poor thing had spent all of his years being rejected by this woman, and now she had not just rejected him, but had replaced him. Dad rubbed Duke’s head and whispered something in his ear.
Mother turned to all of us standing at the door. “Show’s over,” she announced.“Now, scoot.”
But Maggie started a low, gutteral moan, and Mother decided they both could use a warm glass of milk. That poor dog of hers would need doggy Prozac by the time this trip was over. Mother “shooed” us and headed down the stairs. Duke scooted over and rubbed his head all over her pillow. If she refused to love him, he would leave her with a gift until she did.
Morning had Amber descending the stairs with wet hair and a pink Juicy Couture sweatsuit on. We were all in the kitchen, sitting around the table, still fielding calls from our own paper. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. It was the worst I had ever seen her. But she still looked good for a drunk. “Where’d you get the fruit?”my father asked as soon as her feet hit the kitchen floor.
She caught sight of Joshua, and her upper lip began to quiver. “Joshua? What are you doing here?” I suspected she nursed an ounce of hope that he had returned to his senses and was sitting here for her.
“I, um . . .”
Dad cut him off.“Amber, I asked you a question.”
His stern tone caught her off guard, and her eyes darted in his direction. Her surprise was momentarily replaced with shame. “I was tired and wet, and there was a whole bunch of people who were out on a porch having a party, I think.” She rubbed her head. “And they just thought I was another one of them, and before I knew it they had invited me in, and I realized how starving I was, and the fruit was sooooooooo good. I just had another and another, and by the time all the guests were starting to leave, I figured I should go too, but I was feeling a little woozy and thought I might need to sit down, and that was where the girls found me.” She eyed Paige.“And then Paige slapped me.”
“You acted very irresponsibly,” Dad stated plainly. “We were worried about you and spent the entire night looking for you, and there’s no telling what could have happened to you.”
Her lips began to quiver. “I . . . I didn’t realize . . . I was just so mad.” Her eyes landed on me. “Mad at Savannah and mad at Joshua.”
“I don’t care who you were mad at.”Now Dad was making me uncomfortable.“We brought you with us, and you shouldn’t have put any of us through this.We were about to call the police after you.”
She turned her attention back to my father, and then the tears began to flow. “I’m . . . so . . . sorry, Mr. Phillips. No one’s ever cared where I’ve been before.” She wailed more. “I could do whatever I wanted or be gone for a month, and my parents wouldn’t even care where I was.”
He stood up, his face softer now, and walked over to her and placed both of his hands on her shoulders. “Well, we do,” he assured her.“We do. So don’t ever do that again, okay?”
“I WOOOONNN’T.” She threw her arms around his neck, sobbing.
“Now, we’ll leave you three to figure out the rest,” Dad said when he was finally able to remove her arms from around his neck and helped her sit at the table as he and mother left. But Thomas and Paige just sat at the table as if this were some freak show they were too afraid to miss.
“Get!” I said.
“Well, we had plans anyway, didn’t we,Thomas?” Paige said, huffing as she rose.
“Sure, yeah . . . plans.” He stood up. I should have been scared.
Joshua laid his hand on my arm. “Amber,” his rich voice began. “I don’t even really know you. That makes it hard for me to understand how you could be so enamored with me.”
“But I know you.” She sniffed.“You had me at hello.”
Paige snorted.
“Get!” I yellspered at the door.
“It’s true!” she said, glaring at Paige’s invisible carcass outside the door. “I just thought you felt the same way, you know, coming to dinner and all.And there are some great opportunities that come with my committed relationships.” I noticed she didn’t say marriage.“There is the Mrs. United States of America Pageant.”
“Amber, you don’t fall in love with someone because you want to get back what you’ve lost,” Joshua replied softly.“You fall in love because you can’t stand to spend another day without that someone. Because to wake up again without them being a part of your life is something you can’t imagine. You fall in love when every quirk and every defect is okay with you, because these make a person what they are. And you know that time will change you and make each of you what the other needs and longs for.” He turned his head to me.“And those are the things I feel every time I look at Savannah. I love Savannah,” he said, turning his attention back to Amber. “And I’ve loved her for a long time.And I’m sorry, but you want love for all the wrong reasons.”
I noticed the volcano across the table about to erupt. And as much as I wanted to savor the lavish words Joshua had just spoken— all except the defect part, which we’d have to deal with later—I didn’t want any more eruptions. It had been a turbulent enough week as far as I was concerned.
“But you don’t have to worry about any of that now!” I interjected. “Because we just found out that the reigning Miss Georgia United States of America was divorced, and she’s out and you’re in!” I said, standing up and throwing my arms out to hug her as if this were the most jubilant news since Mother found out about waxing.
Amber’s eyes glazed over.
“Do you know what this means? This means you are now the reigning Miss Georgia United States of America!” I sure hoped she was getting the picture.
Her hand slowly began to move to her chest. Either she was having a heart attack or getting a clue. “Me? I’ve actually won?” Her voice registered complete shock.
Mother came running in. She must have been standing by Paige. That’s why Maggy’s hacking had sounded so close. “This means you finally get to go to Miss United States of America, just like you’ve always wanted.”
“You mean . . . you mean . . . I actually won?” she said, slowly rising from her chair.
“You actually won,” I assured her.
The look in her eyes was worth all the pain of the week. Everything she had been hoping for was coming true. Well, almost everything. Joshua was still sitting by me. “I’m the reigning Miss Georgia United States of America?”
“Yes!” Mother said, clapping her hands together. “You won! You won!”
“I’m going to the Miss United States of America pageant?” She was getting it.The girl was getting it.
“Yes, can you believe it?” I asked.
Life flowed back into her face. Her color returned to her cheeks. The dancing in her aqua eyes would take a while to return, because she had forgotten to put her contacts in, so her chestnut eyes were just kind of dancin
g. “I knew it!” she said, throwing her arms to the sky. Amber was back.“I knew that little miss prissy had something in her closet. I could tell when she wouldn’t tell me her daddy’s name. So she was divorced, huh? Well, oh, who cares!” She squealed. “Who cares how it happened! It happened! Oh, this is wonderful! It’s incredible! It’s unbelievable!” She danced around that kitchen with her arms spread-eagle.
None of us could help but smile. She deserved it. Her persistence had paid off, because had she been any other runner-up, she would not now be dancing around our kitchen.
She turned her attention to me and Joshua. “Oh, I’m so happy for you two. You just make the perfect couple! I’ll make an appearance at your wedding!”
I coughed.“Uh, we’re not at that stage yet,” I assured anyone wanting to know.
“Well, I’ll be there whenever. And I’ll wear my tiara, I promise.” I started to protest.“Ah, you don’t have to ask me, it will be my pleasure.”
“Well, that is very sweet of you,” Joshua said casually.
“Oh,my goodness. I’ll need to make a statement. I’ll need to greet my people! I’ll need to get ready for Miss UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!” she screamed. She and Mother jumped up and down in the kitchen. The coffee cups rattled.
Thomas entered the kitchen about the time Amber broke into song. He stood in the doorway for a moment and then turned right back around and headed out the door. We all followed single file. She never knew we were gone. Why should she? Vicky and Maggy were singing with her.
The sun was starting to set, and I could see the briliant hues of red looking back at me as they reflected off the water.“Is this what life with you is going to be like?” Joshua asked as he took my hand for a walk down the white beach.
The sand felt cool between my toes. A far cry from the heat it had held the day I watched him kiss Celeste.“What? You don’t like adventure?”
Savannah by the Sea Page 27