“Adventure I can handle. But this is certifiable.”
“I tried to tell you. I come from crazy people. I mean, have you ever had trouble actually reading more than the first line of a book?”
His head cocked as he looked at me. “Maybe you’re right. Y’all might be crazy. But at least your mom likes me.”
“You’re really concerned about that, aren’t you?” I took his hand and laced his fingers between my own.
“It was important to me that both of your parents like me. I thought she might react about like you did when she found out about my . . . indiscretions.”
“Actually, you’d be surprised. She was the one who made it clear that I was the one with the issues to deal with, not you.”
“Really?” His concern dissipated with my words.
“You gloat.”
“No, I . . .”
“Yes, you gloat. It’s okay. I love to gloat.”
He stopped in the cool sand as the water washed over the edge of his feet. I looked down and watched as they sank deeper into the wet earth with each wave. He turned and looked at me with that look. The one that made everything inside of me liquefy. “I’m really not gloating. I know you’ve dealt with a million emotions over the last couple of days. You probably wouldn’t believe it, but I have too. When I thought I may never see you again, or hold you again or . . . ”
“Shush.” I placed my finger to his lusciously soft lips. My, my, this boy is just fine.
“No, I need to say these things.” He wrapped his arms firmly around my waist.“I don’t ever want to lose you again. I won’t play games with you, and I won’t run away. If we have problems,we’ll face them. If we have disagreements,we’ll deal with them. But we won’t run. I’m not a runner. My dad was runner. My mother was an avoider, and I refuse to be either. So promise me, no more running.” His eyes swallowed me whole, allowing me to enter the very recesses of his heart.“And I will never again,well, not intentionally at least, do anything to cause you pain.”
“Okay, I promise, no running. Not even after lunatics who think they love you.”
He leaned in closer, laughing. “She’s forgotten my name by now.”
“I never will,” I assured him. And the passion in his kiss assured me that he would make sure I wouldn’t. Shoot, if he kissed me like that much more, I was liable to tattoo his name on my booty.
Nah. Sister don’t do pain.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Oh, this feels like a dream,” I said, crawling into the bed and pulling the covers up around me. Paige was sitting on her bed, touching up her toenails.
The pitter-patter of paws made their way into our room and came to sit in between our beds.
“What do you want, you little rat?” The white ball of fur whined and scratched its front paws on the edge of my comforter.“ Do you think she wants me to pick her up?”
“I have no idea,” Paige said, leaning over the edge of the bed.
“What if she bites?”
“Bet you could gag her quicker than she could draw blood.”
“You think?”
“Try it and see.”
Maggy scratched harder and whined louder.“Okay, but if you bite me or pee on my bed, I’m shipping you to Siberia, where it’s cold and animals are mean and eat little things like you for treats.” I reached down, and she planted her little soft belly in the palm of my hand.“Paige, look! She’s laid herself across my hand.”
“Oh my goodness, isn’t that the cutest thing?”
I scooped her up and laid her on the bed, and then I leaned back against the headboard to see what she would do. She crawled up on my chest, the nonexistent one, remember, and laid her body across it and started to lick my chin. Her puppy breath was unmistakable. “I love puppy breath,” I said, melting quickly.
“Oh, Savannah, she really is a cutie.”
I rubbed her back and scooted her down before she could stick her tiny tongue up my nose.“She is cute, isn’t she? But don’t ever let Mother know we’ve had her up here. She’ll want me to wear her around my chest when she has board meetings.”
About that time we heard the thudding of louder paws coming up the stairs. I looked at Paige, and her eyes got huge.“I can’t let him see her on my lap,” I said, tossing the ball of fur onto Paige’s bed.
Duke stuck his head in the door and sniffed. Paige covered Maggy with her pillow. Duke turned around to head to Dad’s room and then turned back one more time for one last sniff. By the time he made his way up the hall and Paige removed the pillow from Maggy’s head, Maggy had christened Paige’s comforter. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” Paige hollered. That made poor Maggy squat again.
“You’re scaring her to death!”
“I don’t care,” Paige said, jumping out of the bed. “I slept in a wooden chair last night, I got snacked on by mosquitoes, had to take care of a drunk, and now a dog has gone and peed on my bed! Is nothing sacred, I ask you?” She put Maggy on the floor, and the thing scurried out of our room quicker than she had arrived, that’s for certain.
She threw her comforter to the floor and walked over to my bed.“Scoot.”
“You’re not sleeping with me,” I announced.
“Scoot.”
I scooted.
She propped her toes up on the bed with the dividers still firmly in place. She wiggled in, and we both lay there, leaning against my pillows.“I’m very proud of you.”
“Proud of me why?” I asked.
“Proud of you for forgiving Joshua.”
“Oh, that. Well, I guess I realized all the depths love has gone for me, and I had to figure out the depths I was willing to go for love.”
“So, if you would forgive him for anything, would you forgive me for anything?”
I looked over at my friend of a lifetime. She turned her blue eyes to face me.
“What have you done?”
“You’ve got to promise. Before I tell you a thing, you’ve got to promise you’ll forgive me.”
“I would forgive you for anything. Okay, now, quit scaring me, what did you do? Have you been dipping in stranger’s fruit too?”
She laughed. “No, no fruit here. But there was an incident with Steve Weisler.”
“What are you telling me?”
“I’m telling you about those virgin T-shirts you wanted to make for us. Well, I couldn’t wear one.” My heart dipped. “You promised,” she said, her eyes pleading.
I studied my friend. My friend of over thirteen years. I wondered why she had never told me this before now. And then I knew. She knew the reaction she would have gotten two days ago would have been very similar to the one I gave Joshua.
“It was stupid. I was stupid. The whole thing was stupid. I didn’t even really like him. We were eighteen. I was completely infatuated, and he drove a BMW. And I was desperate to be loved back.”
I turned my body toward her. “Why? Why are you so desperate? I’ve never understood that about you. You come from normal parents who love you. You’re talented. You’re exceptionally beautiful, and you will chase anything that says hello. Why?”
“I’m not like you, Savannah. I’m not as confident. I wasn’t president of the student body. I was the head of the sorority. I always wanted to be approved.” Her voice began to shake.“And when Steve found me attractive, I felt approved. And when I paint, I feel approved. And when I’m the center of someone’s attention, I feel approved. And when I thought you wouldn’t forgive Joshua, not even with how much you love him, I knew you’d never forgive me.”
She had never been more vulnerable.
“Anything else?”
“What do you mean anything else?”
“I mean is there anything else you need to tell me?”
She scrunched her nose.“I don’t think so. Should there be?”
“Any more Steves?”
“No, no more Steves. It was horrible.”
I leaned back on my bed and put my arm around her. She snuggled up underneath.�
��Do you know how completely beautiful you are, and talented?”
“I do look pretty good in my new suit.”
“You look wonderful in everything. But I’m talking about your heart, Paige. Your sense of life and adventure and passion. Few people have such life. And you didn’t get that because you were standing in the full-of-oneself line before you got flung to earth. You are all of those things because God knew He could trust you with them. He knew you would create beautiful artwork and bring happiness into people’s lives. But until you learn that for yourself, no man will ever bring those things to you.”
“But Joshua brings you those things.”
“No, Joshua didn’t bring me my passion for life. He just accentuates it. He complements it. That’s what the right person does. But they don’t create it. Only a Creator can create. You look too hard. You’ve got to deal with your heart. Because until you can be trusted with your own heart, you can’t be trusted with someone else’s.”
“Trusting always came easier for you. You till, you listen, you trust.”
“I screw up. Over and over and over and over. But I keep going back, Paige. I get up each morning and I till again, and I’m forgiven again, and I try again. But deep down inside I know that nothing this side of heaven, not even Joshua, will ever fill what heaven alone can fill.”
“How’d you get so smart?”
“Trial and error. Trial by fire. Trial by . . .”
“I get the picture,” she said, raising her hand for me to stop. “So, does this mean you forgive me?”
“In the words of our dear tiara-wearing queen,‘You had me at scoot.’”
Only crazy people get up at sunrise on vacation. Say hello to crazy. But I love that moment at just around daybreak when all that’s heard on the streets of Seaside are the morning melodies of the recently arrived northern deserters, whose wings carry them across the sky with their songs, and the hum of the air conditioners as you pass by each home. Nestled inside are sunburned sleeping beauties and surf-weary young men who gave their souls to the sea the previous day.
In the same moment, heaven breaks open with its treasure trove of talents and just plumb shows off. This morning, the edges of last night’s darkness still hung over the far side of the ocean. Yet the morning sun was creating a brilliant display as it pushed the night away. And the ocean does nothing but flutter about underneath it all.
I sat down in the sand with the Tupelo Street Beach Pavilion behind me. Duke was at my heels. It was the perfect way to end the week. The first rays of the sun had warmed my face, and I closed my eyes and let it caress me for a moment.“What do you think about it all?” I asked the golden-haired creature next to me.
He laid his head down across my knees.
I opened my eyes and gently stroked the top of his head. He in return closed his eyes.“I’m in love, old boy. What are we going to do?”
He kept his eyes shut.
“You’ve got a new housemate.”
His ear twitched.
“Amber’s the reigning Miss Georgia United States of America.”
His breathing deepened.
“And life as we knew it will never again be the same.”
He snored.
I looked down on this old friend of mine and smiled. As long as we stuck around to throw the ball, fill up his bowl, cook him steak, scratch his itches, and rub his head, life was all the same to him. I kissed his soft head, and he opened his eyes and looked at me. “Let’s go get Curly Locks. We’re going to a wedding.”
Joshua had asked me to come with him to Mark and Celeste’s wedding. I hesitated. He assured me I didn’t have to go.Then I said yes. Sometimes the past has to be relegated to its proper place. This was how we would have to begin doing it in our lives.
I watched as Dad, Mr. Modica, and Joshua enjoyed their last vacation coffee. Even Thomas joined them this morning. He must not have found a willing soul to hit golf balls with him at daybreak, and Paige would be asleep until noon. I wouldn’t intrude. I had disrupted enough of their vacation. So Duke and I sneaked back and walked around Quincy Circle.
The shutting of the car door caused me to turn my attention toward Kate and Alex’s house. Kate had just buckled in the last twin, whose face I could see peering through the window.
“Good morning, Kate,” I said, walking over to her car. The look on her face made it clear she really didn’t desire adult conversation at this hour of the morning. “Where are you and the boys headed?”
She walked around to the driver’s door.“I’m taking them out of town for a couple days. Adam’s been coming by every day to see them, and I just need some time away.”
“Do you think it’s a good idea for them to be away from their dad when everything is already in such an upheaval?”
“Whose side are you on?” she snapped as she placed herself into the driver’s seat.
“Doggie! Doggie!” came the shouts from the backseat.
I placed my left hand on the top of the door and let my eyes rest on her. Duke scooted back. “I’m on your side. And Adam’s side. And the side of your marriage. And the side of those little boys back there.”
“Savannah,” she stated, rather resolute and loud. “Are you married? I don’t think so. So until you are, you need to stay out of married people’s business.” She started the car.
“I know I’m not married, Kate—”
“That’s right, you’re not.”
“But this isn’t the way this is supposed to be. Adam loves you. He loves this family.”
“He destroyed this family.”
“What he did was horrible, destructive, and selfish.”
She set her hands firmly on the steering wheel, her stare fixed straight ahead.“You’re absolutely right, and now those can be his companions.”
“I don’t get you.”
“You don’t know me!” she spat.“You come here once a year and bop in and bop out, and now, when my home’s fallen apart, you want to save the day.”
“I thought I knew you.”
“Well, you don’t.And you don’t know anything about betrayal or how it feels to know your husband has touched another woman and shared things that only you and he should share.”The anger in her voice began to give way to sorrow.
Her words made me cringe for a moment. Memories trying to resurface. I made them leave. Forgiveness had been given. It wouldn’t be retracted.
I knelt down by the car door.“You’re right. I don’t. I’ve never been married, so there is no way I can understand your pain. But I know someone who does.”
She gave me a sarcastic laugh.
“Get out of the car,” I said.
“What?”
“Get out of the car, just for a minute. I need you to trust me for just a minute.”
She glared at me, frustrated, but slipped out anyway. I grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her body in the direction of Lucy and Manuel’s house.“You see that house up there, the blue one with the white trim?”
“I see it, Savannah.”
“Well, Lucy and Manuel are living there. And, they know what you feel.” I turned her back to face me.“I may pop in only once a year, but you and Adam are part of some of my best memories here. And I don’t know what betrayal is like, the kind you’ve gone through, but I’ve learned a thing or two recently about forgiveness. And you may think Adam is selfish, but this entire week, all you’ve talked about is how you’ve been hurt and you’ve been betrayed. I’ve never heard you say a peep about what those two little fellas in that backseat need.”
Her body went rigid in my hands. I let her go. She slipped back into the car and buckled her seat belt.
“Please, Kate. I’m begging you. Ask them their story. Tell them yours and see what they can offer you. If you drive out of Seaside without ever doing that one thing, I guarantee you, you will spend years wondering ‘what if.’Adam was stupid and selfish and all of those things. But the man I saw the other day was devastated and heartbroken and wa
nts his family back.”
She turned and looked me square in the face. “I need to go, Savannah.”
“They even have twins too!” I would try anything.
She just stared at me.
“I hope I’ll see you again.” And with that I closed the door.
As the green Tahoe pulled out into the street and headed to 30-A, she slowed up in front of Lucy and Manuel’s. I turned around to head home. This would be her decision. To go or to stop. To forgive or let bitterness eat away all the beauty in her.
I tilled a little longer. I tilled for Kate and Adam. Duke never complained.
I sneaked into Sundog Books one last time. Duke was more than willing to take a breather on the steps. I had a gift I wanted to buy. If I couldn’t get a good book in this week,maybe someone else could. I found it tucked away in the far corner of the back wall. I picked up a bookmark and paid the cute store manager with the dark brown ponytail, then started back up the street. As I walked past Lucy and Manuel’s, I saw a green Tahoe parked by their white fence. The two car seats were empty. I walked quietly up the steps and laid the first Chronicles of Narnia book on the seat of Lucy’s favorite chair. Inside I had scrawled, To my friends, Lucy and Manuel, and the bag of groceries that caused our paths to cross. Thank you for sharing yourselves. Whenever you read this, remember me. Your friend, Savannah.
I patted the green Tahoe as Duke and I headed back up the street.
CHAPTER FORTY
Vicky was sitting on the front porch, painting Maggy’s toenails a color in the loud orange family. She and Maggy were wearing matching Hawaiian-print numbers. Life deteriorated so quickly. Duke and I sneaked around the back. He grabbed water; I grabbed a Coke and my book. I had a few hours to kill before the wedding and a book that I really did want to read.
“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
“Insufferable!”Paige hollered in my ear.“Insufferable, I tell ya.”
I looked at the book. Laughed to myself and closed it quietly, laying it on the table beside me. Books could be read anytime.
“Having trouble with your new queen?”
Savannah by the Sea Page 28