Clover

by Cole, Braxton

  #

  Clover wasn’t expecting Jake to park and get out of the truck when they arrived at the pool. She thought he would drop her off like he had the day before. When he grabbed his bag from behind the seat with a blush and a smile, she spontaneously kissed him, because she just couldn’t not do it. “What’s that?”

  “I thought I’d swim for a while,” he said with a shrug and blushed even redder.

  “How long?” She thought of the summer when she was sixteen and first got a job at the pool. She’d picked Jake up every day on her way to work and he swam and stared at her for the entire shift. He’d been thirteen and all awkward limbs and cracking voice. She’d been indifferent to having his gaze on her at the time, but the thought of him watching her today filled her belly with heat.

  Jake shrugged again. “I’m in no hurry.”

  “Are you going to stay for my whole shift?” God, she wanted to kiss him again.

  “I dunno. Maybe. Probably.” Jake tugged at his hair and looked to the side before bringing his gaze back to look her in the eyes. “Yes. Definitely, yes.”

  Clover nodded. “Okay.” She couldn’t hold back her smile, but did manage to walk, not skip, through the parking lot and into the building. She held Jake’s hand all the way. Her smile faded when she saw Vince, but her grip on Jake’s hand did not.

  Vince stood just inside the door, where the shade of the building protected him, but he could still see out easily. He looked pointedly at their joined hands, but said nothing. Clover gave Jake a small kiss on the cheek when they parted ways at the locker rooms and tried to pretend that she couldn’t feel Vince watching her as she walked away.

  When she made it to her post, she scanned the pool reflexively. As much as she resented having to return to her high school job when she’d already completed her undergrad studies, she appreciated how easily it all came back to her. She didn’t even think about what she was looking for anymore. Her brain automatically took inventory. At a glance, she knew which swimmers to keep an eye on and which ones would only need her help if something went terribly wrong.

  After a quick glance, she looked over the pool a second, much slower time. She looked from face to face, searching for Jake. Jake stood out. He had the faint lines of a farmer’s tan, but the lines were faint enough to tell her that he spent his fair share of time doing chores without a shirt. His chest and arms were clearly defined, and as she stared, he flexed and released. She drooled a little and he laughed at himself. Then he dove cleanly into the deep end of the pool.

  Clover took the whistle from the person she was relieving and dropped it around her neck, then applied zinc to her nose and slipped on her aviators. As much as she wanted to splash in the water with Jake, she forced her attention to the rest of the swimmers.

  She’d have plenty of time to play with him after her shift.

  Chapter 14

  Eight Years Ago

  “Clover, come in here a minute, please.” Her dad sounded far too serious and it made her nervous. She closed her book without marking her place, but it didn’t really matter. She’d read it so many times that the spine was cracked and broken and the corners were worn down.

  Brandon was outside working, so she couldn’t check with him to find out what was going on with her dad before actually going into his office. She hated not knowing what he was thinking. Her dad was logical and a quick thinker. She needed more time to process and a little warning could make all the difference when talking with him.

  Clover knocked on his open office door out of habit before she stuck her head in. “Yes, sir?”

  “Come on in.” He gestured toward the open wingback chair opposite his desk. As a general rule, she and R.J. weren’t allowed in his office. They definitely weren’t allowed to sit on his good leather chairs. Those were reserved for clients.

  She remained in the doorway, too confused to enter the room as directed. “Sir?”

  “You’re starting high school in a month. I think you’re old enough to not treat my office like a playground.” He nodded toward the chair again. Clover had no choice but to enter and take a seat.

  At fourteen, she was pretty much done growing according to her dad. The chair, however, still felt huge around her. Despite the fact that her feet reached the floor, she felt like a little kid playing at being a grownup. That she was wearing cut-off shorts and a ratty T-shirt didn’t help at all. She squirmed in her seat even though she told herself no to do it. Her dad stared at her while waiting for her to get settled.

  Clover forced herself to stop moving. She folded her hands in her lap and ignored the leather sticking to her thighs. Even though her dad hadn’t said anything to clarify why she was there, she was ready to blurt out anything to fill the silence. She was ready to confess to crimes she hadn’t committed just to get the impromptu meeting to end a little sooner. She clamped her mouth shut and refused to speak until he prompted her.

  Her dad sighed and reclined his chair back. The change in posture didn’t relax her completely, but it helped. Her dad was a nice man and a good father, but sometimes he forgot that he couldn’t deal with his kids while in work mode. It was alienating. That insight was courtesy of Brandon. The day he offered that explanation about why her dad was sometimes a little distant and overly firm, Clover hadn’t fully understood what it meant. Still, it helped her to think about her dad as having two separate parts--that of Mr. Watson, financial advisor, and that of her dad. Sometimes the two got mixed up.

  “You’re not in trouble.”

  “That’s good.” She couldn’t remember anything she’d done to upset her dad, but she could never be sure. His reassurance helped her to relax a little more.

  “I want to talk about school.” He leaned forward and tapped his pen against the desk.

  “School?” School wasn’t scheduled to start for another month. She always enjoyed the first day of school, but until it arrived, she preferred not to think about it.

  “You’re entering high school. It’s time to start thinking about where you want to go to college and what you want to study.”

  “Really?” Her voice squeaked. She studied hard and got good grades, but she hadn’t been able to pin down her thoughts enough to pick a school. What she wanted to be varied day to day.

  “Really. I know it might seem like it’s too soon, but believe me it’s not. If we had stayed in Los Angeles, you and your brother would be in private prep schools. You’d already be on track to be admitted to the best schools in the country. I knew when I brought you here that your education would no longer follow that path.”

  Something in his tone made Clover want to apologize, but she wasn’t sure why. Instead, she waited for her dad to continue.

  “All I ask is that you start to think about it. Have you even considered where you’d like to go?”

  The only schools Clover knew anything about were local - Western Oregon and U of O. Neither appealed to her. Brandon had gone to the University of Washington in Seattle and he smiled when he talked about it. “U-dub? Maybe? I don’t know.” She shrugged and instantly regretted it. She needed to show her dad that she was capable of taking this just as seriously as he was.

  “Huskies, huh? That’s a good school.” He sounded like he didn’t quite believe it. “There are better schools, though. Have you thought about Stanford? Or maybe Wharton?”

  “Wharton?” As much as Clover didn’t want to live her life in the middle of wheat fields, the thought of moving to Philadelphia for school made her stomach hurt. California was better, but not by much. “No, I…” She didn’t know how to finish.

  “They both are excellent. And there’s no finer business school than Wharton.”

  “Really?” Clover wasn’t sure why she should care about that, but he seemed very excited about it.

  “Have you given any thought to what you’d like to do for a career?”

  The only thing Clover really thought about was reading. “A librarian, maybe? Or a teacher?”

&nb
sp; Her dad visibly cringed at her suggestions and she knew she was about to spend a lot of time thinking about her future, whether she wanted to or not.

  “Do you have any idea what the average income for those professions are?”

  Clover didn’t think much about money at all. Her dad bought her what she needed. Beyond that, she was clueless. “No, sir.”

  “Clover!” R.J. thundered down the hall, stopping at the door to the office. “Jake’s here! Let’s go play.” R.J. only had one volume - loud. It hurt her ears to listen to him sometimes.

  Clover wasn’t sure which she wanted to do less - talk to her dad about her future career, or watch Jake and R.J. play outside. Jake, of course, was eleven and old enough to watch himself. R.J., however, was only seven. Their dad didn’t want him playing outside alone. He said it was because he’d seen too many terrible things happen to children in the city. He didn’t care that they were in the middle of nowhere and the only people around were family.

  “Before you go, Clover, I want to give you an assignment.” Her dad clearly wasn’t ready to let the conversation end. “I want you to do some research on different careers. Think about the things you think you’d like to do--teacher, librarian, and whatever else you can think up--and look up how much education is required, as well as expected income. Can you do that?”

  “Yes, sir.” She stood as she spoke. She’d rather go back to reading her book, but she knew as well as her dad did that she would follow R.J. outside to play. “Thank you.”

  Chapter 15

  Present Day

  Clover slipped on a tank top and a pair of shorts that were really too short to be decent, then fluffed her hair. She slid a few carefully folded bills into her pocket, and grabbed her keys and phone on the way out of her room. She had no idea where Jake planned to take her, but he’d said he’d be there around seven to pick her up. After her shower and far too much time debating about her simple outfit, she was cutting it close. She wanted to grab a sandwich before leaving just in case his plans didn’t involve food this time.

  The door to her dad’s office was open and he called out to her as she walked past. “Clover, come in here a minute.”

  “Yes?” She stuck her head in, but didn’t fully enter. His office was a serious place, with certificates and diplomas on the wall, leather-bound volumes on the bookshelves, and a giant mahogany desk that made her feel ten years old just by looking at it.

  Sometime between last summer and now, he’d upgraded his computer system. He had two obscenely large iMacs sitting side by side on the computer station to the right of his desk. Brandon joked that it was due to her dad’s failing eyesight in his old age. Clover, R.J., and Brandon had laughed. Her dad had slipped on his reading glasses and left the room while grumbling about being underappreciated.

  Today he sat behind the desk with his glasses in place. He had a report spread out in front of him, but his body was angled to look at the computer screens. He slipped off his glasses and said, “Come on in.”

  She sat in the wingback chair and waited. Sitting on leather while wearing shorts was not very pleasant. She adjusted, peeling her skin off the chair before she could resettle in a better position. “What’s up?”

  “I just looked over your final transcript.”

  As soon as she received her grades for the last semester, she’d forwarded her full transcript to the University of Portland and copied her dad on the email. She’d worked hard for her grades and was pleased overall. Her dad’s face, however, was unreadable. She waited for him to continue.

  “You did very well. I’m proud of you.” He finally smiled and Clover relaxed slightly. He hadn’t called her into his office just to say that he was proud of her. He could just as easily have done that over breakfast.

  “Thank you, sir.” Clover laughed when other people called her dad “sir.” He was too serious and he intimidated people, which she thought was funny. She experienced her dad differently than most people, but occasionally she got caught up in the version of him that inspired the use of the word “sir.” She was just thankful no one was there to laugh at her when it happened.

  “You’re starting your Master’s program this fall.”

  Her dad had provided guidance throughout her academic career. At this point, he knew her plans better than she did, so she didn’t understand why he was confirming with her now.

  “That’s right.”

  He looked relieved, and his body relaxed into his chair. “That’s good. I was afraid you might be thinking something different.”

  Clover had been very clear about her goals and they hadn’t changed since her junior year in high school. Why would her dad suddenly doubt her? “Why? You know how much this means to me.”

  “Yes.” Her dad used his careful voice and that scared Clover even more. He rarely thought about his words so much that it altered his tone. He generally spoke his mind with the confidence of a man accustomed to other people listening. “You’ve been spending a great deal of time with that Feldman boy. I wanted to make sure that isn’t clouding your judgment.”

  Granted, she had spent as much time as possible with Jake in the past few days and she was honest enough with herself to acknowledge that she was completely head over heels for him. Still, she wasn’t a silly girl who was willing to give up all her plans just because a boy made her feel all squishy inside. The thought alone made her grind her teeth.

  “Dad, I like Jake. A lot. But...” Clover had never even considered changing her plans for her ex, but the thought of leaving Jake in a few weeks made her chest hurt. However, that didn’t change who she was at the core. “The way I feel for him is not enough to make me abandon who I am.”

  “Good, good. You have no idea how worried I’ve been.”

  She’d never thought of her dad as a snob, but she knew that was what was bothering him. He didn’t think Jake was good enough for her. He was only nineteen years old and a sophomore at a second rate community college. As unflattering as he looked on paper, however, Jake was so much more than bare facts alone. Clover already knew he was amazing. In a few years, her dad would, too.

  “He’s a really good guy. Worth changing plans over. I’m just not the kind of girl to give everything up because it’s not convenient anymore. My whole life depends upon what I do in school. I’m not going to blow that.” A niggling voice in the back of her mind whispered that school would always be there, but what if she never found someone else who made her feel like Jake did?

  Her dad tapped the report in front of him. She could see now that it was a printed copy of her transcript. “This is very impressive. Have you given any thought to law school?”

  She had. She’d thought about it a lot, actually. A JD with a focus in tax law would be a huge leg up for her. Law school, however, was very expensive and a minimum of three more years of school after her Master’s. Her vision of her life had always involved finishing her Master’s, then starting her career. That’s why she never mentioned it to her dad. To have him bring it up felt like a huge vote of confidence to her. If he supported her pursuing a JD, however, then she needed to reconsider her decision. It was only three more years and she loved to make him proud. She nodded carefully, not willing to commit. “I’ve thought about it, yes.”

  “Have you ruled it out?”

  “Not expressly, but there are some pretty big negatives.”

  “What are they? Do they outweigh the gain?” Her dad asked her like her opinion really mattered and it threw her a little off guard. She was accustomed to him telling her what he thought she should do, rather than asking what she thought about it.

  “The two big ones are the additional time in school and the cost.”

  He nodded thoughtfully. “If you maintain these grades, I’ll continue to pay for school. That eliminates expense as a concern for you. As for time, you’d be done when you’re twenty-six. That’s still very young and you would have a streamlined entry into the position that you want.”

  Clo
ver’s financial concerns went beyond the impact to her own wallet. She already owed her dad more money than she would ever be able to pay back, and that was only after undergrad. Her Master’s would add half again that amount. She’d started to do the math on a JD once and the numbers got too big and she stopped. Not that her dad expected to be repaid, and she doubted he would take the money even if she tried. Education was not cheap, but it was a necessary investment. It was up to her to weigh the known cost against the potential returns. Anything less would be foolish.

  “I’m still not sure it’s worth it. Will it increase my earnings potential enough to justify the additional time and expense?”

  “That’s a good question. The fields are related, but not the same. A tax lawyer is the guy people go to in order to ensure that the IRS won’t question the income the investment banker has generated.” Her dad summarized the information that Clover already knew without actually answering the question.

  “I don’t know, Dad. I’m just not convinced.”

  “With that degree, you and I would complement each other perfectly.”

  “Oh.” Clover finally understood. Her dad wanted to add “and daughter” to his business. R.J.’s interest in money extended only to spending it. What little ambition he’d demonstrated had been limited to video games, baseball, and most recently, agriculture. He was more likely to take over for Brandon than to go into business with their dad.

  “You don’t have to decide today. I just want you to give it some thought.”

  Clover was flattered that her dad took her seriously enough to want her to be a part of something he worked so hard to build, but the thought of living here on the farm forever was suffocating. She didn’t want to move to the other side of the country, like New York, but she wanted to experience more from life than farm equipment and fields. “Dad, thank you, really, but I plan to stay in Portland after I finish school.”

  “I know that’s your plan now, but I want you to know all of your options. I thought I’d live in L.A. forever, but it reached a point where I just couldn’t stay there for another minute. The air in cities can be suffocating.” Her dad glanced briefly out the window as he spoke.