K-Pax Omnibus

by Gene Brewer

  But it soon became apparent that prot, regardless of his background and origin, was remarkably empathetic and could sense in an instant whatever was troubling anyone he ever met, including both inmates and staff. Perhaps this is what drew all of us to him, a feeling that he understood, and what’s more, could help. Dozens of patients who otherwise might still be residents of MPI were soon discharged when prot got to the heart of their problems and helped solve them. It was quite remarkable to witness the recovery of intractable psychotics who had been with us for years, and perhaps even more so was the recidivism rate: 0 (with the notable exception of his own alter ego, Robert Porter). I can’t help but wish that every mental institution harbored a visitor or two from K-PAX, or some other wonderful place completely different from Earth, whose inhabitants, even the sanest among us, seem to be blinded in many important respects by our own mental baggage.

  But prot left an even wider and deeper legacy than that. During the five years he traveled the Earth with Robert, he made incisive observations on the behavior of its inhabitants, with particular emphasis on Homo sapiens, whom he designated “a freak of nature.” It was our human activities that seemed to fascinate him most, though not always in a positive way. Calling us “a cancer on the EARTH,” he offered a simple (to him) solution to all our social and environmental problems: start over with a different set of assumptions. Practically everything we had ever done, all the choices we had ever made in the long history of our species, was ill-considered, inappropriate, or just plain stupid, according to prot. Among our “disastrous” notions were the institutions of government, capitalism, religions, schools, even motherhood—in short, virtually the entirety of our human belief systems and values. All this he recorded in a little red notebook he carried with him at all times.

  This is not the place to rewrite the K-PAX trilogy, but for those who haven’t read it, a brief summary may be in order. Prot was brought to the Institute in May, 1990. With patience, luck, and a little hard work, we eventually learned that there was a very sick man (Robert Porter) he was “fronting” for, a man who had suffered several terrible traumas in his life beginning when he was only five years old. After seven years of therapy, interrupted by a return visit to K-PAX and a two-year hiatus during which prot roamed the Earth looking for a hundred traveling companions for his final journey to the stars, I was forced to conclude that he was both Robert’s alter ego and, at the same time, a visitor from space. Whether or not this is the correct interpretation, both of them left us at the end of 1997 and haven’t been seen since.

  There are some who would disagree with this admittedly empirical conclusion, but no one denies that prot possessed a remarkably disinterested and logical mind, one with a great deal to say about life on Earth as viewed by a true outsider. While we might dislike, or even resent, many of his observations, there is an underlying ring of truth in them that cannot easily be dismissed.

  It was his custom to write a “report to K-PAX” on all the planets he had visited during his frequent travels. In August of 1990, when he was about to return to his home planet “for a little r & r,” prot allowed us to make a copy of his copious notes about the Earth, written in a language he called pax-o. Fortunately, we had a Rosetta Stone to help us decipher his writings, a translation he had made of Hamlet into his native language. With the help of a professional linguist (Dr Carol Boettcher, Columbia University Department of Linguistics, to whom I am deeply grateful) I was able to convert most of his notes into modern English. Where there was no equivalent word or phrase in Shakespeare’s great play, but the meaning seemed clear, she has filled in what she believes were prot’s intentions. When the meaning was not clear, she or I made a stab at it, based on my familiarity with him and his way of thinking. These are enclosed in brackets. Words and phrases in parentheses, on the other hand, are prot’s own clarification of meaning to his K-PAXian readers. Otherwise, the entire text is included here without modification except for certain grammatical corrections, such as the use of capital letters to begin sentences.

  Prot wrote his notes in bits and pieces, whenever he had time to jot down a paragraph or two (he was surrounded by patients most of the time), interspersing the history and present condition of the Earth with his observations at the hospital and elsewhere. Consequently, his report is somewhat disjointed, though that may simply be the way K-PAXians do these things. When possible, I have connected the various sections into a continuous whole. For the sake of clarity (and to make printing easier), his occasional notes, scribbled in the margins, have not been included. However, I have retained prot’s convention of capitalizing stars, planets, and other heavenly bodies, and using lower case for everything else, including the names of individuals.

  Over the years there have been numerous requests for copies of prot’s report, including those from the assistant secretary-general of the United Nations, and the heads of the FBI, CIA, and other governmental agencies, as well as scientists, sociologists and religious leaders, and these have been honored. But there have also come thousands of requests from the general public, which were impossible to fulfill in unpublished form. I sincerely hope this volume will satisfy that demand, and that readers everywhere will find some interest, if not comfort, in the workings of prot’s remarkable mind.

  Preliminary Observations on B-T1K (RX 4987165.233)

  This is a report on the condition of a PLANET in great [turmoil]. I write it for the information and amusement of my fellow K-PAXians, though I suspect that a certain “psychiatrist” will want a copy of it before I leave the place.

  During regular visits to this small WORLD, I have gotten to know many of the countless beings here, including the dominant species, homo sapiens, which means, ironically, “thinking (or ‘wise’ or ‘logical’) man.” By observing the sapiens, I have seen for myself how a class B PLANET can become an A. [Note: on prot’s scale, a “K” planet is the most highly evolved. The lowest, an “A,” is what’s left when a “B” planet self-destructs.] Their inability or refusal to think about what they are doing to their WORLD has put them at the brink of extinction. Despite this apparent genetic aberration, the humans are nevertheless an interesting, if contradictory, species.

  Everything I write here should be self-explanatory except for time units, which are used arbitrarily and without a hint of logic on B-TIK, so a few definitions are necessary:

  a “day” is one rotation of the PLANET

  an “hour” is 1/24 day

  a “week” = 7 days

  a “month” = 30 (or 28 or 29 or 31) days

  a “year” = 12 months = 1 revolution of B-TIK around its parent STAR

  Other terms are more difficult to define. “To commit a crime” means to violate certain human rules, which vary from place to place. Beings who do so are locked in cubes called “prisons,” or medical facilities like the manhattan psychiatric institute, where I await my return to K-PAX. Although I had committed no such violations, I was taken, near the end of my journey, to this facility for treatment of “delusion” (did you know that all K-PAXians are delusional?).

  I decided to stay. There was plenty of fruit and it was as good a place as any to write this report.

  I‘ve just been to the next upward level visiting the “sexual deviates.” On most K PLANETS, and even some I’s and J’s, there are many beings who find the sex act so abhorrent that they actively avoid members of the opposite gender. On EARTH, no one can get enough of it.

  The only thing different about the deviates is that they pursue it to the exclusion of everything else. It’s like spending all your time inducing vomiting.

  Most sapiens live in loose packs, in places they call “towns” or “cities.” These are grouped into “states,” which in turn make up the “countries.” The latter fill every square jart [0.214 miles] of the PLANET except for the great bodies of water called “oceans” or “seas,” and the frozen poles. In different words, human beings consider themselves the “owners” of their WORLD. A bizarre co
ncept, wouldn’t you say?

  It is the division of the entire surface into countries which causes many (but not all!) of the problems faced by the sapiens. Oddly enough, to these beings their country is far more important than the PLANET, and they are perfectly willing to destroy a territory in order to control it. They are even prepared to die to keep out the humans of other territories, unless such beings have been specifically invited. In fact, they are quite willing to go to other countries to die if they perceive a long-term threat to the integrity of their own “homeland.” This doesn’t always work, and borders and countries change with amazing frequency.

  Some of you will think this is a [put-on?]. I assure you that every word is true.

  B-Tik, as seen from space, is one of the most beautiful WORLDS in the GALAXY. Its watery oceans, reflecting the color of its sky, combined with wispy white clouds, make it a very inviting WORLD as seen from a safe distance.

  When I arrived here twenty-seven (EARTH) years ago, my first impression was that the PLANET was just as lovely as it appeared to be from space. The air was warm and fresh, the vegetation lush, and the sounds were those of bird, mammal and insect beings of every possibility. And wonderful fruits were hanging everywhere. It was what the domineering species would call a “paradise,” which means, again ironically, the beauty and perfection of B-TIK before the sapiens came to be.

  I walked a tiny part of the surface for a while, sometimes pulling a fruit or a vegetable and sitting in the shade of a tree to rest from my journey and absorb the exquisite surroundings. The only feature that diminished my sense of contentment was the strong light intensity resulting from the close proximity of their yellow STAR. This was painful to my eyes until I [rigged up] something from sticks and grasses to cover them.

  Of course I knew about the oceans. But there was an incredible amount of water everywhere—rivers, streams, lakes, swamps, pools—sometimes it even falls from the sky! A very strange sensation, being “rained on,” as they call it, and not at all unpleasant. Many of the animal beings of B-TIK seem to need a great deal of water, drinking it regularly and staying in the open when it falls from those puffy clouds, which darken as they’re about to release their voluminous moisture. Some species even live in it: hairless, finned beings who never leave the lakes and rivers. Water in abundance!

  As country china turned away from its SUN, the light intensity decreased, and I removed my makeshift eyeshades. At the transition point, a whole new set of beings came out and the others went somewhere to sleep. These new arrivals had bigger, more efficient eyes for seeing in the darkness. They, too, wandered around looking for something to eat. In fact, many beings spent most of their waking hours seeking food.

  This is very different from the operation of the sapiens, who devote much of their lives to doing work for others of their species in order to be allowed the currency with which to purchase their sustenance. When they’ve “earned” the right to live, they’re too old to enjoy it! [Untranslatable K-PAXian expression]

  * * *

  BESIDES the deviates, the third level is occupied by people who would rather eat [feces] than the meals provided for them. Imagine what this says about the food here!

  As soon as I was sufficiently acclimated I traveled to guelph, in country united states, to find the boy who had called me here, robert porter. I located him at his father’s disposal, and he was quite distressed. Even so, he asked me to come to his house, where he gave me a pair of “sunglasses” and clothes to wear (the naked body is peculiarly offensive to most members of his species).

  Robert, or robin, as he wanted to be addressed, was the first sapiens I had ever encountered, and he was a [mess]—well-devastated by his father’s demise. I could understand how he felt: a shortened life is indeed a tragedy, even with the endless recycling of the UNIVERSE. You can never know what would have happened to that being if his life had not ended before its natural completion.

  After that first visit I made several more to EARTH, but I usually went straight to guelph without any sightseeing. His needs were great and, like those of most B-TIKians, many.

  Rob’s most recent blow came five years ago, and it must have been as traumatic as his father’s premature ending because he wouldn’t even tell me about it. I respected his decision, of course, but it was clear that B-TIK wasn’t the place for him. In fact, I had allowed that period of time to try to convince him to return with me to K-PAX. I underestimated. Even after this allotment he has barely said a word. Sometimes I think he would rather die than deal with whatever is bothering him. A true homo sapiens! If he chooses that route, of course, I would be able to bring back another being in his place. Wherever we went during those five revolutions, there was no shortage of volunteers.

  Virtually every nonhuman being wanted to go with us (most were exhausted by the need for constant vigilance). But some of the sapiens were even more miserable. Many of them clung to us when we tried to leave them. One person threatened to make holes in us with small projectiles if we refused to take him along. I tried to explain the error in his logic, but he laughed quite loudly and insisted he was only joking. Still snorting, he offered me the projectile-launching device. What did he think I was supposed to do with it? We didn’t wait around to find out.

  Others pleaded, begged, and cried. A female promised to kill herself if she was left behind. An astonishingly violent species, the sapiens, much like the zorts of B-POM (now A-POM).

  B-Tik is a young PLANET, only 4.6 billion years old. It was formed in the usual way of debris left over from the coalescence of its companion STAR. When it finally cooled, rain fell and fell from the sky and the depressions filled with water. As on many other WORLDS, single-celled plants and animals organized themselves quickly and were the predominant beings for millions of years. Eventually they began to differentiate into multi-cellular organisms, and became larger and more complex. At first these creatures lived in the abundant seas. After a time, some species moved onto the land and adapted themselves to life outside the waters. From these came new life forms in astonishing variation. There are more species of all sizes, shapes, and colors living on B-TIK than on a dozen other PLANETS combined! Some evolved into primates, and one of these, unfortunately, became human beings.

  Of the sixty-four PLANETS I have visited, I have never encountered the sapiens anywhere else. Fled once told me that she found a few of them on B-LOD, where they were living in caves. Since there were few other fauna there, they subsisted on grains and legumes. She thinks their WORLD might progress to a C in the next few thousand cycles [a K-PAXian revolution cycle is about twenty years], but with this species you can never be certain of anything.

  Despite the abundance of vegetation on B-TIK, the first sapiens began to eat the dead beings they sometimes found. Soon they were killing live animals in order to satisfy their newly-acquired taste for flesh. Unlike other beings, however, they did this not only for sustenance, but also for pleasure. This peculiar aberration has been part of their nature from the beginning. And, unlike the other carnivores with whom they shared the EARTH, the humans killed far more than they needed for survival. After a hundred thousand years of this behavior, it’s a wonder there are any nonhuman animals left on the PLANET. They even exterminated their own progenitors!

  In the American forests 0.62 years ago we ran into a young sapiens, a hunter. He was “taking a break” from the killing, and we had an interesting chat. He considered himself a “naturalist.” Loved the great outdoors, he told me. I asked him why he wanted to kill parts of the nature he “loved.” He looked [pained], and indicated that his father and grandfather had taught him the hunting procedures. It was a family tradition. He described the “great times” the three of them had before his progenitor companions had been accidentally eliminated from the hunt. One of his goals was to travel to other countries and try his hand at taking a few “trophies” from them.

  I told him I was a scientist studying the power of light, gave him a mirror, showed him how to
hold it, and pointed him in the right direction. When I stepped back, the beams of the setting sun encountered his reflector and off he went to C-DAK, where the dominant species are vast numbers of large, vicious, carnivorous beings. No doubt he has had many great times there.

  My visits to EARTH have provided the opportunity to learn exactly how the sapiens’ genetic defect manifests itself: somehow it prevents the species from developing or maturing. Here is what I have learned from the writings of the humans themselves and what I have been told by surviving individuals of other species, those who have not yet been driven to extinction.

  Like the dominant beings of certain other B PLANETS, homo sapies began to see themselves from the beginning as self-important individuals rather than as a minuscule part of something larger and more significant. When there was a choice between their survival and that of other members of their species, they invariably chose themselves. This self-centeredness pyramided downward to the family members, and further to the tribal unit, all in the name of survival. One’s own family came before other families, the tribe before all other tribes. Eventually, as the human population increased and became organized into bigger and bigger units, one’s state was defended against other states, and his country came before all others. At the bottom of the pyramid came the WORLD’S sapiens population as a whole. And below that, everything else in the UNIVERSE.

  Their religions (beliefs in powerful, unseen gods) confirmed that they were the center of all existence. Not only were they the only important species on EARTH, but in the entire COSMOS. If there is anything to the theory of MULTIVERSES, sapiens would undoubtedly consider themselves at the center of them all.

  Besides the deviates and [shit] eaters, there are many other patients at mpi. Some of these are quite content with their [lot], and are as happy as a being can be. Others cry out for succor every minute of their terrible lives. I have concluded from this that a B-TIKian is judged insane when he is at either end of the happiness scale. In different words, you can’t win.