The Matter Is Life

by J. California Cooper

  The worse part was when Belle started tellin all over town bout what Endora like to do! Endora rather anything than to let her mama hear that kinda mess. She was too lazy to whip Belle’s ass, so she gave her some money and sent her off on some trip to some place Belle wanted to go for awhile. But I bet that problem ain’t over! You watch! Anyway, that trouble made Endora get closer to her husband and even God, cause she was shamed. Mr. Niles happier now … for awhile. Specially cause that’s when she got pregnant.

  Surprise to say, Endora was lazy, but she seem to look forward to havin a baby. That’s all she talked about. She bought just loads of things for that child, so many it probly never did get to wear em all fore it grew out of em. Yes, don’t you know? Endora had another little girl! I guess girls just run in that family! She named her baby Freedora. Dora was proud again. Everybody in her family was named after her!

  Strange, but good to say, Endora’s mind made a change when her body did. While she was pregnant, and after the baby was born, Endora had plenty time to look around her life … and she saw her husband. She saw how some of them other ladies, good-lookin ones too!, looked and talked to Mr. Niles. They was after him! Now, there ain’t nothin, sometimes, like seein your man through another woman’s eyes! He started lookin better to her. You see? She took to not bein so lazy round him, and takin time to dress and primp up for him. Cause some of them other women looked really good. Lovin with him got better, too.

  Now, I ain’t in her mind, so I don’t know the facts, but her actions seem to be that she grew to love him. Stopped missin a woman to love. Well, ain’t nothin in the world impossible! With that baby, and bein a mother, Endora became a woman totally. At least, she ain’t reached back in all this time. Maybe she was too lazy to love two people. I do know for sure that man is happier, that woman is happier and that baby is happy. Who knows bout people and they hearts? Do you?

  Endora turned out to be a good mother. She quieted down some from her little sneaky ways. She was jealous of that baby. Wanted all its love for herself. Mr. Niles was beside himself, he was so happy to be a daddy! Finally, he thought, here would be a female to take his money without takin advantage of him. Would love him. He was the daddy. How that baby was able to come here and be cute, I don’t know, cause she looked just like him. But she sure was cute and, now, is a good-lookin young lady.

  So, that’s how Endora’s life was runnin bout the time they was all comin home.

  Me? Well, now I had done found out that mongst my children I did have another one who liked to dream. He drew things, pictures and such. The stuff looked good to me, but I’m his mama. Yet, after bein this close to Dora and all her family, I membered bout them dreams and I took to takin all extra money I could keep my hands on and spendin it on pencils, paints and them canvas things for him.

  I blived nobody would ever get to lovin him like I did. Cause he was lame. Clubfoot, one leg shorter. So, I said, let him dream, please. Dream, son. Dream and work on your dream. Please, Jesus. He loved God, too.

  I’m glad I did! It ended up with him goin to the Europea place. To study. Was sent for, chile. Somebody else like his work sides me.

  Another thing, I started bein real lonely. I see my old husband sometime, and, can’t lie, the man made me feel so good in a bed, I just still feel somethin for him. I just don’t want ALL of him! So, I guess I can’t have none. I did let him sneak me off, now and again. Like he the one wanted it. But I always come home … alone … like I want. I only went twice.

  I even started thinkin I might marry again. Started lookin round to see what I could see. Once when I went over to see bout how her back was doin, I told Dora bout it, you know that. I thought she would laugh and talk bout me bein weak. But, surprise to me, she didn’t.

  She just said, “You …” stopped peelin apples and started lookin out the window to the sky. It happen to be thunderin and lightnin that day, too. I members, cause the rain always make me feel like lovin. Then she said, “Life sure give a body plenty to think about in this world.”

  I said, “Life give your brain plenty to think bout in this world. It’s Love what give your body plenty to think bout.”

  We, both, wasn’t real old. Just tired. But we could look kinda good if we really, really would try. Well, almost good, anyway. Enough for soooommmme man! But we tired, I guess.

  Then I helped her finish peelin them apples and we made us a pie, ate most of it, laughin bout life and love. Then I went home, full, and cried even tho I wasn’t real sad. Just lonely.

  SPLENDORA

  Splendora was one of them children born bein old and young at the same time. As a real small child she was serious, takin time to think bout things, and still lovin to laugh, play and be happy.

  Like Lovedora she loved all things livin, specially them what hurt in some way. Just took em to her heart. Even growin things, trees, flowers, clouds, gardens, everything. Dora had a time keepin little baby chicks, kittens and puppies outa Splendora’s bed. Sneaked in. Endora always told off on her anyway.

  Mongst her sisters, Lovedora loved her most the time. Windora loved her sometime. Endora loved her ever once in a while when she wasn’t jealous of her. They didn’t like Splendora comin late to they mama, without they papa. Said she wasn’t really part of them.

  Dora loved her special and her name was always there to prove it. Splendora was her thunder and lightnin love child.

  There always seem to be some deep, kinda quiet excitement bout life in Splendora. She adventured in life! Into everything was round her and even far away as she dared go alone. She liked to be alone. Just walkin or sittin, thinkin. Tho sometime she did make my lame son, Walton, go with her. He didn’t like to be out round peoples when he didn’t have to be. She was sure a different kind of child. We use to wonder what was that child be thinkin so serious bout.

  Now, Lovedora loved all animals, sick or well. But Splendora loved mostly the sick ones, the hurt ones. Her heart went out to em and she try to find someway to heal em or repair em, or find a home for one she couldn’t keep on accounta her mama. Or her big-mouth sisters!

  I done told you how she growed up to be a beautiful young woman, but she did go through a time when she didn’t look like she was gonna be pretty. Her eyes was always beautiful tho. Deep, brown and shiny wet. Kind eyes, thoughtful. I blive she loved all her sisters, her family. She sure did love Dora.

  Splendora cried, often times, bout things and people for no reason anybody else could see. Her nerves, or her brain, seem to “feel” things bout everything round her. Sensitive, I blive they call it, cordin to the new words I learn from my lame son who paints. She “sensed” things. Thought most everybody was sad. We laughed at her then, but as I grow older I begin to think she is right. She said even things like curtains, trees, some animals, looked sad to her. I looked this word up with my son, vulnerable. That’s what she thought. People, too, even when they be laughin, she said.

  She was smart in school. Liked to play with girls and boys. Wasn’t no tomboy tho. Just like to play with em. That child even liked learnin and her teachers. Specially that blind one her mama had worked for. Splendora even stayed round that teacher when her mama didn’t work there no more. When the teacher was sick, near to dyin, Splendora was always there, doin things for her. Rubbin her back, soothin her, somehow. Cookin special things for her. Readin to her. Talkin to her, they say, bout things goin on all over the world. Sometimes speakin in that foreigner speech the teacher had taught her some of.

  That teacher was beautiful to Splendora. She was kinda strange lookin to me. Was a tiny little woman with a wrinkled face like a dried prune. Had a head full of dark hair she wore pulled straight back into a big, ole bun. That bun was always loose with long hairs hangin round, cause she shook her head when she got excited bout what she was teachin, which was always, when she be teachin Splendora. She shake her head and wave her arms, and sometimes in the middle of what she be sayin, she give a little laugh, a happy laugh, like her mind was bubblin over
into her heart and a little had to spill out. She was blind, but she could see what she was sayin, in her heart. She was always givin Splendora things, nice things. They was friends til that teacher died. Years. Always close. She was sad when Splendora wanted to marry stead of travel. But, wellll.

  Anyway, when she died, she left Splendora some little money with a note sayin, “Feed your heart, massage your mind. Travel. I’ll be with you, little friend.” She didn’t leave her no millions, cause she didn’t have much herself. But, some. Probly all her savings for bout thirty-five years of teachin work.

  Splendora always spent a lot of time with my lame son who paints. He didn’t paint then, just drawed on everything. They was bout the same age and she never teased him for bein lame, just liked him and treated him normal-like. Made him take them walks with her sometimes. They was always in a huddle, talkin. I loved her special for that, cause I loved him.

  Now … as each sister left home, Splendora took over lovin her mama more, to take they place. She helped her mama in a lotta ways when they got to be alone. She was a big girl-woman then. She had her own room, but she still slept with Dora. They be in that bed laughin and talkin through the nights sometime.

  One thing more, Splendora thought of God a lot. She the one went to church mostly. Didn’t have to make her go. She say she blive in Him even fore she knew nothin bout Him.

  That’s how she met the preacher-man’s son. When she finally married, that’s who she married. To be closer to God, she thought. They had one problem. She like to make love outside in the sun, or under a tree in the rain, under the moon. Her husband didn’t. He say too many eyes outside might see em. He want to be in a dark room. They only stayed married bout six months, cause she got to know the church better.

  Splendora told her mama that she first use to think the preacher was misleadin his congregation, just makin em shout, not think! bout what God really means and wants. And beggin for money. Just ridin his cadillac round and smilin at the single sisters and some married ones too. She say she thought that til, one day, two, three months into her marriage when she was closer in the church, she overheard some of the church-sisters talkin.

  The sisters was dressed-to-kill! Big, wide hats with feathers and flowers on em, hot-red and midnight-blue dresses with ribbons and bows sittin on they behinds and shoulders, feet stuffed into little sandles with toes hangin over the edges of the sole. Hair shinin, red-hot lips like slashes cross they face, earrings hangin to yonder and back. Sharp!!

  They was sayin, “We got to get Reverand a new Cadillac! The Greater Pilgrim Church done got they preacher a brand new silver Cadillac! We got to get ours a gold one! Can’t let em outdo us!”

  Another one answered, “He need some new suits, too! When he be ridin out on his errands of mercy, he need to look good! Them last suits he got must be bout six months old now!”

  Then one said, “I like my preacher to look good! He got to ride good too! Show everybody how God blesses a good man!”

  The first one smiled, flashin long teeth, “Well, we just gonna have to take up a extra collection! We have to talk to these people holdin back on some of that money! We got to have a preacher we can be proud of when people see him! We ain’t gonna let no other church outdo us!”

  Like that. Worldly.

  Then, she notice durin church meetin, the ladies in the front row sit with they knees apart, dress hiked up, just a’starin at the preacher and the deacons, who was preachin and starin back!

  Splendora didn’t like that. She said, “Wasn’t no ‘God’ in that! That ain’t church. They don’t leave the worldly ways outside, they bring em in!” Got so she didn’t like to go to her husband’s church.

  Round then she got that heritance from the blind teacher-friend. She made up her mind to leave her husband. They had never let her have no money, cept for food shoppin, so when she left she thought she deserved some money to take with her.

  Now, whenever Splendora handed the church collection plate around, the people put more money in it, thinkin she would tell the preacher who was givin what, so she always took in a good collection. This particular Sunday she took collection from front of church to back. When she through with that back row, she took the other collection plate from the one collectin on the other side of the church rows and poured it into her plate. Now durin the meetin collection time, the preacher, piano player and choir get to singin and shoutin real hard to get the givers excited, make em dig deeper in they pockets. By time Splendora got through the last row, the people was kinda shouting and happy! Splendora took the whole plate and all, went on out the doors of the church and came on home to Dora. I think she had bout $270.

  The preacher, his wife and son come bustin by right after church let out. Didn’t even stay to shake hands with the congregation. They want they money! Splendora say she didn’t have “they” money, she only had hers. She wouldn’t come out and Dora wouldn’t let em in. Dora kept tellin them to go or she gonna call the police. They kept sayin Splendora a thief! And they gonna call the police right back! Neither one did. They finally went away. Preacher cussin and mad at his son for marryin up with “one of them dumb doras!” Son didn’t know whether to stay and beg or to go. Cause he had family in both directions. But Splendora told him to go cause she was already gone! He finally left. Didn’t want nobody hearin him beggin no woman to come home.

  The preacher-man’s son sat, waitin for her to come beggin back, said god was on his side. Well, Splendora wasn’t.

  Splendora told God, “I didn’t take no money from you. It wasn’t gonna be spent on you noway. I took it from my husband. He owe it to me. So … I’m not stealin.”

  After that she was gone, gone. Got her heritance, gave her mama some. Visited her sister in Chicago for to get some clothes, then went far as we could even think of … to Europea. Windora said she bought plenty clothes. Dora said that money must sure be gone.

  With Windora’s help, Splendora knew some places to go in Europea. She took a room and bath in a very nice hotel in Paris. Her money sounded big to her, well, she hadn’t never had any. But, in bout a month or two, them French had done eaten it almost all up.

  She wrote her mama regular most times. And the money mighta been gone, but she sure found some to send home to her mama from time to time. Dora grieved for her, missed her last baby gone from home … alone.

  Dora beg Lovedora to send Pandora to stay with her awhile. She come, but she soon gone, cause her mama got that TB and she needed at home. Then she beg Windora for Goldora, but she didn’t let her come cept in the summers sometime. Endora told her mama she could come over there anytime and see Freedora, but Dora want to hold somebody at night while she sleep. Anyway … the years passed.

  Over the years, she got letters from Splendora from all kinds of places. My son Walton, the lame one who had dreams, got letters sometimes too. Once or twice we didn’t hear nothin for a long time. Then she wrote and ask bout my son Walton again. Was he still wantin to paint? Said she had a way for him to come there and study art! That’s when my boy, man now, was leavin me. We cried. But I was glad he was dreamin and bout to get that dream! Just he didn’t come back, he stayed. Learned and learned. Til Splendora came back, bout ten more years later. He got to where he even sent me some money! But I wanted him back! They was both bout thirty-four and thirty-five when they come home, cause me and Dora was bout goin on fifty-nine, sixty. But I done got way head of my story.

  At first, Splendora just enjoy bein a lady. She say them mens love black women over there! She change her clothes, couldn’t wait to wear em, I guess, two, three times a day! I blive they couldn’t quite make out what she was all about!

  Mens try to meet her when she go out for walks in that huge monstrous city, or when she at her dinner table back at her hotel. At first she didn’t be too friendly with em, didn’t want em to get the wrong idea. But you got to be friends with somebody, so she made friends with the elevator man, always goin up or down, you see.

  They ta
lked on the short rides. Then … he start makin them smiles and words which mean, “I want to jugie-jugie with you.” Splendora just laughed at his nerve and say, “I’m a Christian woman.” He offer the Christian woman money, say, “I give you fifty francs.” Went from there to a hundred francs to a hundred fifty francs! Then he got mad at her cause it was too much and she still say, no. He still smile tho.

  Men see him talkin to her and ask him bout her. He say, “She not a prostitute. She his friend. She don’t want to talk to anyone else.” This make them men try harder to make her one. Either just for themself or everybody. Ain’t it funny how all over the world, life is kinda the same?

  Well, you know, that money was finally gone. Most of it. Splendora had done been tryin to get a work permit or somethin, but seems it was really hard to get. She kept tryin cause she really need work and money now. She also hadn’t been able to find a cheap apartment either. She wrote us that cheap hotels were too dangerous for her, alone.

  One day, very soon, she count her money layin in that bag with the ticket home. She didn’t want to come home broke and with nothin from Paris. And that week her rent would be behind too!

  So she took to ridin that elevator to get that elevator man to ask her again, to offer her them francs. (That’s what they call their money.) That ole geezer musta been able to read her mind and pockets. Cause where he always ask her, again, everytime she get on his elevator and be alone, this time he didn’t say nothin, just smiled at her. Knew she was in a tight spot and that was his chance! Finally, after bout the tenth ride that day and he ain’t said nothin, she did say somethin.

  She smiled, said, “The money you offered me … I think … I blive I will take it. I need it very much.”

  What she say that for!? “I NEED it very much.” That ole thing of his must have leaped in his drawers. He smiled, said, “Oh! The money. Well …” He laughed a ugly, little, gray laugh, “Well now. I don’t have so much money now. I have only a hundred francs. See? I told you you should say yes! When I had it!”